The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
--- Quote from: Kerry on May 26, 2007, 03:48:44 am ---
--- End quote ---
:laugh: :laugh: Love it ! :laugh: :laugh:
dot-matrix:
Confucius Says
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War not determine who right, war determine who left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Man who lay woman on ground get piece on earth.
dot-matrix:
dot-matrix:
Two women friends had gone for a "girls night out." They both were very faithful, loving wives... However, they had gotten a bit over enthusiastic on Margaritas at the Rio.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in a cemetery.
One had nothing to wipe with so she decided to take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing expensive panties and didn't want to ruin them... Luckily she had squatted next to a grave that had a fresh wreath with a ribbon on it... So she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls completed their "business" they continued toward home.
The following day, one of the husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed and hung over.
He phoned the other husband, and said "These girls nights out have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst! My wife came home with no panties!"
"That's nothing!" said the other husband, "mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that read: "FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION... WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!
dot-matrix:
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of Lifesaver one at a time & asked them to identify them by color & flavor.
The children began to say,"Red-cherry; Yellow-lemon ; Green-lime",etc.
Finally, the professor gave them all honey Lifesavers. After tasting them for a few moments, none of the children could identify the taste.
"Well," he said, "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out & yelled,"Quick everybody, spit them out-they're assholes!!"
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