The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT
A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.
They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show
The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"
dot-matrix:
Kitty Porn ?
dot-matrix:
A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly on a flight across the country. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The hillbilly asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips."
The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Aw, hell, me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
dot-matrix:
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa,
taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the
company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long,
Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she
notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the
intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately
settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the
approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old
poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard!
I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike,
a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle
nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene
from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use
and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but
the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed,
and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans
and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard
is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop
on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey
on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead
of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers,
pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get
close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn
monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story.
Don't mess with old people ... age and treachery will always
overcome youth and skill! B-S and brilliance only come with
age and experience!
Kerry:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on May 30, 2007, 06:21:25 pm ---Kitty Porn ?
--- End quote ---
Here's more Kitty Porn, Dottie. A disgusting scene from a Kitty Massage Parlour. Tst! ::)
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