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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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dot-matrix:

--- Quote from: Kerry on June 03, 2007, 08:55:05 pm ---
I am but the humble apprentice to Dottie's sorcerer here. Dottie makes me laugh every day. Thank you, Dottie!  :-*


--- End quote ---

Kerry you are too kind.  I prefer to think of us as in this together, more like the Clown Prince and Princess if your were  :laugh: but I am touched and very pleased that I have been able to bring you a chuckle occassionally.  :-*

David In Indy:
Yes, Kerry and Dottie are the King and Queen of comedy in these parts Sharon.

And the rest of us come in here every now and then and laugh like fools.

dot-matrix:
Eight Words with two Meanings


1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND...........

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .  Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . . .  What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . . .  Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . . They don't have time

He said . . .  Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,caring and Good- looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and
go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

dot-matrix:
Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side;

"When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my trousers,"
he said. "I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on .
When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large.  'I told her, 'of course they're too big.   I wear the trousers in this family and I always will.
"Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem."

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them.

"Exactly," replied Jack. "I wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will.  I don't want you to forget that."

Jill paused, removed her knickers and gave them to Jack.

"Try these on," she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.

"I can't possibly get into your knickers," said Jack.

"Exactly," replied Jill.

"And if you don't change your ********* attitude, you never will."

dot-matrix:
Uhmm...O.K. ... so Where did they bury the rest of him   ???

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