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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Kerry:

Kerry:

dot-matrix:
The Skinny Dippers


An elderly man had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond, fixed up really nice, along with some
picnic tables and some apple and peach trees.
The pond was shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was
built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond,
as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a
five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of
young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his
presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out
until you leave!" The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come
down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the
pond naked."


Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the
alligator."


Old men may move slow but can still think fast.

***

Shasta542:

 A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her  telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before  the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this  psychic dog or senile lady.  He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the  subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
 
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman  found:
 
  1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground  wire with a steel chain and collar.

  2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
 
  3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling  current when the number was called.
 
  4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start  moaning and then urinate.
 
  5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus  causing the phone to ring.
 
  Which just goes to show that some problems CAN be  fixed by pissing and moaning.

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