The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
--- Quote from: TXdoug on July 06, 2007, 06:47:04 pm ---AWESOME, Dottie. Thanks. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
We hope you are enjoying the balloon festival this weekend ;)
:-*
--- End quote ---
Thanks Doug we are, check out my post on my blog (Random Thoughts) over on the Our Daily Thoughts board...
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,5184.0.html
In the meantime another little smile:
dot-matrix:
What begins with F and ends with K?
This is long, but funny.
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "
dot-matrix:
dot-matrix:
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never
been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into
her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she
prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed
a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water,
and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no
longer resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about
this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through
the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all
winter."
dot-matrix:
Here you go Kerry See you again in about a week! :-*
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