The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married.
She said, “I want to keep my house.”
He said, “That's fine with me.” 8)
She said, “And I want to keep my Cadillac.”
He said, “That's fine with me.” 8)
She said, “And I want to have sex 6 times a week.”
He said, “That's fine with me. Put me down for Fridays.” ;)
Kerry:
dot-matrix:
According to Thomas Cook in the UK, some holiday-takers are just never satisfied. Here are the top ten most bizarre and genuine customer complaints received by the firm in recent years:
1 On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all.
2 The beach was too sandy.
3 I bought a snorkel and swimming mask for my six-year-old son, but he was too upset to use them as the fish frightened him.
4 It rained on my birthday.
5 Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.
6 I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.
7 It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned.
8 We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.
9 None of the hotel staff was English, and the tea didn't taste the same as at home.
10 I would like to complain about the price of alcohol in the resort. It was too cheap and I woke with a hangover every day.
dot-matrix:
One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she wouldn't be late for church.
As she ran she kept praying, "Dear God, please don't let me be late to church.
Please don't let me be late to church...."
As she was running she tripped and fell.
When she got back up she began praying again...
"Please, God don't let me be late to church -- but don't shove me either!
Katie77:
An elephant and a camel were talking....(as they do)......
Elephant said to the camel........why do you have your boobs on your back like that?
Camel looked at elephant and said....well, thats an odd question from someone who has his dick hanging off his face....
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