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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Essential accoutrement for the busy gal about town . . . . .

dot-matrix:
A Mother’s Prayer



Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.  


 
I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot
May I lie back...not have to think
about what they're stuffing down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and what they're doing to the cat.
 
 

I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, another goldfish...dead!)
 
 

Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not cook or clean...
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)


 
Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know...
I must have lost them long ago! 

Kerry:

dot-matrix:
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.

"It's a very handy thing" God told the couple, "and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty."

Adam jumped up and blurted "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. It'd be so great. When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. It'd be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please."

Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didn't mind if Adam were the one to get this ability. Adam was happy, and proceeded to wash down the bark of the nearest tree, laughing with glee all the while.

"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What's left here?" "Oh, yes. Multiple orgasms."

dot-matrix:

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