The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
How Many Dolphins Can You See? ( answers at the bottom of the page)
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Kerry:
We've seen the weddings. :D
Now for the divorces! Celebrity divorces, that is! ::)
Slam dunk ... Juanita Vanoy stands to collect more than $A181.28 million from ex-husband Michael Jordan.
Not bad for four years ... actress Amy Irving cleaned up $A120.85 million from her short marriage to Steven Spielberg.
Not so amicable ... Harrison Ford's wife Melissa Mathison received $A102.73 million when he left her for Calista Flockhart after 17 years of marriage.
Hollywood cliche ... It cost Kevin Costner $A96.68 million when he left his wife, Cindy Silva after 16 years of marriage, for a much younger blonde.
Can buy her love ... Paul McCartney's marriage to one-legged Heather Mills only cost his $72 million, which is loose change for the Beatle.
Plenty of satisfaction ... Jerry Hall may have never tamed Mick Jagger but she at least got his money - about $A30.2 million of it when they separated.
Almost titanic ... director James Cameron settled his divorce from actress Linda Hamilton with the lovely sum of $A60.43 million - about half of what he earned for that boat film.
Dancing on the ceiling ... Lionel Richie's second wife Diane will be able to maintain her high-maintenance lifestyle after getting $A24.17 million from the soulful singer when they split.
Next year's winner ... When Greg and Laura Norman finalise their divorce settlement, she may be receiving twice as much as Michael Jordan's wife. The Shark's ex-wife could get about $200 million.
dot-matrix:
Kerry:
dot-matrix:
An old man who'd lived all his life back up in the hills came to visit a childhood friend. Now he'd never laid eyes on a train or the iron rails on which they run. Standing in the middle of the tracks one day, he heard a distant whistle... WOOOO--ooo---OOOOO! but didn't have a clue as to what it meant or his impending danger. Predictably, the old boy is hit -- fortunately it's just a side swipe, and he's thrown, head over heels off the tracks, get's off with minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at a friend's place for dinner one evening. Standing in the kitchen, he hears the rising whistle of the family tea kettle wooOOO.... Springing into action, he grabs a rolling pin and mercilessly bashes and smashes the once merry kettle into a useless, shapeless hunk of copper.
His friend, hearing the fuss, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks his friend, "Why'd you wreck our lovely tea kettle?"
The mountain man replies: "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."
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