Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

The Question of Time: What Was Life Like in 1963?

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David In Indy:

--- Quote from: ZouBEini on July 05, 2006, 08:21:56 pm ---Sorry about the long rambling dissertation.  Ugh. 

For me, it was like the world stopped for a split second when JFK was shot.  So many people can say where they were when he was assassinated.  Just like with 9/11. I'm almost the same age as JFK Jr., and when he died I felt as if I had lost a friend, almost a brother.  Kind of stupid to feel that way, but we had grown up together albeit in different "worlds". 

I think it's very cool that you knew Kirstie Alley and that she's the one who gave you the news.  Thanks for sharing!

~Larz

--- End quote ---

I know this sounds weird because I was just a toddler when President Kennedy was shot. But I do remember it. I remember I was sitting on the floor on a blanket, and mom's laundry basket was sitting across from me. Mom was ironing and the phone rang. It was Dad and he apparently told her about the assasination and Mom became hysterical. Mom use to tell me I didn' remember it and I was confusing it with something else. But to this day, I do believe I remember it. It is one of my earliest memories.

ZouBEini:

--- Quote from: David925 on July 05, 2006, 09:17:48 pm ---I know this sounds weird because I was just a toddler when President Kennedy was shot. But I do remember it. I remember I was sitting on the floor on a blanket, and mom's laundry basket was sitting across from me. Mom was ironing and the phone rang. It was Dad and he apparently told her about the assasination and Mom became hysterical. Mom use to tell me I didn' remember it and I was confusing it with something else. But to this day, I do believe I remember it. It is one of my earliest memories.

--- End quote ---

I believe you, David.  As I mentioned (in the rambly post up there) it was truly my first memory.  A few years ago I mentioned it to my mother and she had forgotten where she was at the time but later confirmed it with my aunt, who had been in the car with us.  My cousin was only three and doesn't remember it at all.  I wonder if you and I remember it because of how upset our mothers were.

~Larz

serious crayons:
I think that's why I do! Only it wasn't my mother, it was my second-grade teacher. I'd never seen a teacher crying before.  :'(

ZouBEini:

--- Quote from: latjoreme on July 06, 2006, 01:52:37 am ---I think that's why I do! Only it wasn't my mother, it was my second-grade teacher. I'd never seen a teacher crying before.  :'(

--- End quote ---

Exactly!  That's just it - it was as if the adults were incapacitated by grief and shock - obliviious to everything else, even if for a short while. 

I once saw a movie (name unknown) in which they showed the shooting and ensuing pandemonium in Dallas, followed by the announcements, and adults standing on the streets watching televisions through the store window.  Men and women were crying in the streets while their children looked on, not understanding what would upset their adults so much.  The film captured it perfectly from my perspective, though I now understand some people rejoiced, since JFK was pro-racial equality, a Democrat and Catholic. 

To me, it was a detour from hope; the end of the dream that was Camelot.  Don't get me wrong - LJB did well in his own way, and I believe me meant well and was a good man, but I often wonder what the world would be like today had JFK remained in office.

~Larz

fontaine:
I was 17 in 1963 (a 60-year old straight female) and lived on the east coast where things were different than in the rural west. However, my parents best friends were two gay men--Jim & Bill. Everyone just referred to them as "the bachelors" which to me simply meant two guys who weren't married and were roommates. I don't remember anyone in the neighborhood who were all friends ever leaving them out or saying anything strange about them. Nor did being "bachelors" connote anything other than being unmarried--at least as far as I ever knew. I don't even remember any smirks or innuendos that made me wonder. Maybe it would have been different if they hadn't been such nice and friendly people. I don't know.

We moved to Maryland in the DC area when I was 9 in a garden apartment and Jim and Bill were neighbors. When we bought a house a few miles away, the house across the street was for rent and Bill and Jim rented it. So, they were family friends from '55 until Jim finally married in about '61. It wasn't until I was in college that my parents told me they were gay. Bill eventually moved back to Mississippi where he was from. I found his number and called him about 10 years ago and he'd been married for 25 years by then. I don't know what the deal was and neither I nor my parents cared. Nor did anyone else seem to.

Bill was my "go to" guy when I was a teenager. I could talk to him when I couldn't talk to my parents. Jim and Bill were always like family and often spent holidays--especially Thanksgiving--with us. Given that my Father, in particular, was from the south and regularly used the "N" word (although I never saw him do or say an unkind word to a black person), apparently neither of my parents were prejudiced against gays, nor did I get the sense that any of their friends were either because Jim and Bill were always included in all the social activities of the community.

I think I was very lucky in having grown up in such an accepting environment. However, it was also more of a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of thing. But people back then didn't air their personal laundry about anything--at least in groups. They did talk about their problems in private to their close friends, but not in public. It just wasn't done.

As for the times, people were more repressed in a way but things were also far more civil. People conformed more to traditions except the artistis. It was expected for them to be more "out there." There was next to no social integration along racial lines but not along educational or employment ones--at least not to the same degree. I remember my prejudiced father going up the chain of command to get one of his draftsman--a black man--a raise. I thought it odd given how prejudiced my father was but when I asked him about it, he said the guy could be purple for all he cared, he had earned the raise, and by damned, my Father was going to make sure he got it because fair was fair. And he did get it for him. By the same token, my father would never have invited this guy to a social event. Society was much more statified, especially along racial and "social class" lines but it was also much less contentious.

By the late 60s, however, all that changed. I suspect it began with Kennedy's assassination. The only thing to compare it to in terms of its impact on the country was 9/11. The entire country was in deep mourning, I don't remember anyone rejoicing about it. And even if they had, the media would never have covered it. Living in the DC area, my best friend's father took us down to the capitol and we stood in line and walked through the rotunda to pay our respects. The line and crowd were enormous and everyone was crying. There was a hopefulness in the country throughout his presidency that died when he did. Things began to change after that and by '67, the country had changed dramatically.

It was certainly fun being a part of the Woodstock generation! I wonder, however, what has happened to all those former hippies: "peace, love, and rock and roll!" It seems that far too many of them have turned into judgmental neocons. Maybe they'd have remained more tolerant had they kept smoking pot and been able to see the possibilities life had to offer!

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