Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
Br. Patrick:
I've got the Collectors Edition. Seen all of the extras twice. Nice. But Everytime I try to watch the film for the 12th time, I just can't. It's like walking into a firestorm of tears. I know it's going to pull my guts out inch by inch and I don't think that I am strong enough, psychologically, to do that to myself. Anybody else having similar reactions? Or am I a loner this way just like I am in real life...
???
br. patrick
Brown Eyes:
No, I don't think you're alone in this reaction at all. My responses to BBM have shifted dramatically from time to time over the past year that it's been a constant presence in my life (which is sort of an amazing role for a movie to play when you think about it). I no longer can count how many times I've seen it on DVD (especially because I often can't bring my self to watch it all the way through... I often turn it off right after the reunion because the 2nd half is often too much for me to handle... so I'd have to count in halves to get anything like an accurate count... so I've given up). Anyway, currently I can't really watch it either without getting too upset. It used to be the 2nd half that really knocked me out... but now more and more it's the whole movie. I'm thinking this phase will pass one of these days soon. I know I won't be able to go too long without watching it.
Hang in there Bud! You know that around here you're surrounded by folks who understand the kind of reaction you're talking about. So, I hope the forums can bring some comfort.
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 14, 2007, 10:36:39 pm ---Hang in there Bud! You know that around here you're surrounded by folks who understand the kind of reaction you're talking about. So, I hope the forums can bring some comfort.
--- End quote ---
Thanks for the encouraging words! Not one day goes by without me thinking of some scene, usually 2 or 3 times a day. I just break into tears. I remember it TOO well.
And also, for a reason that I sure don't understand, I don't WANT it to end... So, I feel like Ennis riding up on that ridge after the first tent scene, being pulled in at least two directions at once.
???
br. patrick
nic:
At first I thought you meant "tear" as in crying tears, now I think you mean it in the sense of ripping - is that right? Or both ??
I haven't watched it by myself at home at all & was actually extremely apprehensive about doing so until a while ago when I was fortunate to see BBM on the big screen again with some fellow Brokies (even though I am very much a loner in RL too). At this viewing, as well as being blown away as expected, on another level I somehow felt quite relieved & had a sense of "it is only a film", & I mean that in the sense that prior to this I had built up so many emotions etc associated with it that it had grown into something huge, taking over my life, etc But then watching it again, as well as being deeply affected, I was also able to enjoy it as the brilliant film it is, taking in the amazing photography, the dialogues, the scenery & all. By not watching at all I had been denying myself that. I did feel I should be able to watch it at home by myself to enjoy it but am still am wary cos I know I will fall apart & will not have the solace of fellow Brokies being around afterwards. I'm in a bit of a limbo state at the moment & to be honest, will probably not be watching it anytime soon. But then again I might surprise myself, with a good stiff drink or several on hand. Having such a complex reaction to it myself, I find your reaction is perfectly understandable!
What a shame we can't all magically transport ourselves to a theatre somewhere & watch together.
Daniel:
I remember when I first got the DVD and popped it into the player. (The original one, not the Collector's Edition.) I managed to make it to the menu before bursting into tears........
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