Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
nic:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 15, 2007, 08:42:16 pm ---......So much time together was lost over the 20 years that they were in their relationship that it's hard to even think about.
:'(
--- End quote ---
But you are directed to thinking about it precisely because it's not show in the film. We weren't subjected to scenes of one or the other morosely staring out of windows or into a bottle accompanied by a hideously obvious soundtrack effectively signalling to us "look, this central character is very sad!!" or whatever.
As well as that tragic premise of loss, which it's clear to see is heartbreaking for all the main characters, it's the filling in of the masterful gaps by our own minds afterwards with our own spin on it from personal experience. It is achieved in the short story by AP's sparse style & was so cleverly translated to the screen. Sheer genius, a benchmark of film-making of the highest calibre. If it wasn't so well done & I didn't love it so, I'd be feeling manipulated!
saucycobblers:
Having felt the gut-punch of this film for over a year now, and having found no-one in RL to talk it over with (reactions ranged from complete disinterest, hating the film, liking it but not understanding my 'extreme' reaction to it), I had a surprising and lovely experience literally 2 days ago.
I was sat in the pub with some drama group buddies after rehearsal and was discussing films with a guy (who is gay) and he said, with no preamble, "Have you seen Brokeback Mountain?". Thereafter we had an enthusiastic discussion about which scenes made us cry and why, what our first reactions had been when watching it in the cinema etc, and I told him all about Bettermost as well. I'm going through a sometimes painful opening up process with people at the moment about many things I've kept locked away all my life, and that conversation really meant something because of that.
Things I've been spilling my guts about on this board are almost coming out in RL too and it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of some kind of emotional waterfall that I'm scared of but also wholeheartedly embracing as well - just in the nick of time before it putrifies inside me. This film has been part of that process. Like Scott, I cry because I see myself in that film, and now I tend to watch it when I need to unplug a dam I've bottled up and can't let forth any other way. BBM and 'The Bridges of Madison County' are both like emotional therapy for me. At first I needed to physically watch BBM, but now it's such an integral part of me that just thinking about it can sometimes have the same effect.
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: Br. Patrick on March 15, 2007, 04:19:28 pm ---I said that "I wish I knew somebody that has been affected like me."
--- End quote ---
Wow! You kind people are just incredible! I sure see that I am not alone now. That is SO encouraging. I just have to deal with the most difficult personal losses in my own life before I will be ready for the next viewing. You all have shown me that it's OK to do that. The hardest part about dealing with Losses is "You can't get back what you lost, ever!" so there must be some way to come to terms with that. I, for now, am clueless! But I've got a great therapist (who also loves the film) and you all here! I can't express in words how grateful this 'loner' is!
BTW, the short story had exactly the same effect on me when I read it a few weeks before seeing the film for the first time. As has been noted, they BOTH hit the same buttons!
Thanks ever so much! :'(
br. patrick
saucycobblers:
--- Quote from: Br. Patrick on March 16, 2007, 02:42:59 pm --- I can't express in words how grateful this 'loner' is!
--- End quote ---
You might be a loner Patrick, but you're NOT alone! :)
--- Quote from: Br. Patrick on March 16, 2007, 02:42:59 pm ---BTW, the short story had exactly the same effect on me when I read it a few weeks before seeing the film for the first time. As has been noted, they BOTH hit the same buttons!
--- End quote ---
I read the story between my first and second cinema viewings and it really intensified my reaction to the film. I remember sitting on the bus home after I'd just bought it and being so enraptured and busy trying to hold back the tears that I actually missed my stop!
BBM-Cat:
Definitely, you're not alone as the many kind and intelligent people here attest. Like yourself, I have not been able to pop the DVD into the player after 6 viewings - it has been almost two months since I have sat down to watch BBM, though there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it in some aspect. I feel that right now to 'force' myself to watch BBM would be like re-exposing myself to a trauma. It's ok to take a viewing break of BBM - and probably healthily recommended as well. It is incredible as many have described, the powerful emotional hold the movie has had on many of us. I hope you will feel comforted, as an earlier poster alludes, that despite past regrets we have the power to make better decisions and choices in our lives possibly as a result of BBM as the impetus of change. It's wonderful to come that realization. It's ok to continue grieving as well.
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