I thought there was plenty of romance, much of it initiated by Ennis, but it's subtle so you have to look for it...
Thanks for posting this lynne, there have been many posts from people (I mean in imdb) who to one extent or the other want to say that Jack = loving/romantic, and Ennis = rejecting/cold; and then there's also the book versus film comparisons. Once again I wonder if these people were watching the same film as I was. I guess I was guilty of this too, at first. When I first saw BBM I couldn't see past Ennis' denial, but to my great and pleasant surprise, subsequent viewings revealed the depth of Ennis' affection for Jack and how often he demonstrates it. One such (not so subtle demonstration) that you didn't mention was when Ennis was waiting for Jack, prior the reunion scene. He sits at the window, nervously waiting and fiddling with his lighter. The book even says that he was waring his best shirt for this occasion. And when Jack arrives, he bounds down the stairs, two and three at a time, and it was he (Ennis) that initiates the passionate reunion kiss.
But when it comes to the film and book comparison, these are also completely lost on me since I see them as one and the same. All the little extra bits in the short story (and there's not that much) seep through into my mind when I watch the film, and of course, vice versa when I read the book. Actually, the majority of the things that were left out or changed from the book I am grateful for, since there were a couple of references to the physical reality of the sex that I think would have been distracting if they were filmed. For this I am so glad we had Ang Lee at the helm rather than, say, Gus Van Sant. Could you imagine BBM filmed in the style of My Own Private Idaho??? Hmmm, yes I can too and it's a scary thought.
Ok, so back to the topic of romance. Now I'm going to be a little bit sexist here, but not with the intention of putting anyone down or to be discriminatory. I think that males and females may see BBM differently because they come from different perspectives. I mean I love a good "chick-flick" as well, but there are some (that many women love) like Beaches and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood that I just can't get into, and I put this down to my perspective and the fact that I can't relate to them. IMO the
romance in those films is lost on me because they relate more to women than they do to men. So I wonder how the detractors define "romance"? When I look at BBM I see mountains (sorry for the pun) of romance, just buried under layers and layers of repression. But really, it is this repression that is the central point of the film, the root cause of all the characters' misery, and ultimately the final tragedy. People who want to change elements of the film, the way it ends, or even the depictions of sex and emotion, I feel they're wasting their time, and it's about as pointless as complaining that Romeo & Juliet would be a better if it wasn't so, well, Shakespearean!
The silly sods, I don't think they can see the forest for the trees.