BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Our BetterMost Community => Chez Tremblay => Topic started by: YaadPyar on March 30, 2006, 04:33:28 pm
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Okay, now what are the rules for speaking Brokeback? We all know that in order to be a true Brokie, you have to get all of the "ism"s down and use them frequently.
-- If you are impatient with someone, it is customary to say: "Whatta ya waitin' for, cowboy? A matin' call?"
-- Double negatives are imperative.
-- Sheep are called "woolies."
-- "Ketchup" is a catch-all word for every type of condiment.
- To get skinny-assed cowboys out of your trailer, start a phone call and glare at them until they bolt.
- Stop your wife from asking for cigarettes, and thus frustrating your secret tryst by always having smokes in the pocket of your blue shirt.
- Alleviate your ex-wife's suspicions by telling her she 'don't know nothin'
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If you're about to tell someone what, start your sentence with "I tell you what" just to let them know you're about to tell them what.
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If you're about to tell someone what, start your sentence with "I tell you what" just to let them know you're about to tell them what.
OMG!! LOL for real!
If'n your ex-wife don't believe you, then grab hold of her wrist hard and curse at her and threaten her husband too!
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When extremely pleased or extremely displeased with a close friend, it is appropriate to insert the word "f***ing" inbetween their first and last names.
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Instead of expressing attraction to your fellow cowboy, convey your growing lust by taking the mickey out of his profession and ability to play the harmonica. Compliment his appalling singing of an obscure hymn, however. There's no need to kick a bloke when he's already down.
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If you're a poor bull-rider who is desperately in love with his cowboy buddy, its not only sensible in terms of one's safety and reputation to accept the pushy advances of the attractive daughter of a wealthy machinery manufacturer, it makes good financial sense as well.
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The first-born child of two Texans will inevitably possess an accent best described as "Jersey" or "Bronx". Do not be alarmed. This is normal and unlikely to continue with subsequent children. When the accented child speaks it is best not to even acknowledge this anomaly - simply nod politely and carry on with the conversation.
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OT - Nicole, where can I see a larger version of your avatar? :P
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LOL - if only! I found this pic as an avatar, so it's as big as it gets. Somewhere there must be screencaps of Jarhead - if I find it I'll be sure to send it your way!
Okay Kirk - hopefully this works (if anyone is offended by this and wants me to remove it, let me know!):
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Well allrighty, then! :D :o ::) :P
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What... o what is that I can see between dear Jakey's legs?!?!?!?!?
*whimpers*
*dies*
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Back to Brokeback For Dummies...
Speeding across country in one's vehicle is never permitted, legal or advisable. If, however, you are one cowboy racing to meet another to consumate a passionate affair and have not seen each other in four years, chances are fans of your story will find this gesture sweet, endearing and very very sexy.
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Why would we be offended by a Led Zeppelin poster? Nice dimples.
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What... o what is that I can see between dear Jakey's legs?!?!?!?!?
*whimpers*
*dies*
ahhh Sheyne you noticed that too hunh :o
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LOL Clarissa! You just never know what some people will find offensive and I didn't want to be the source of anxiety. Although it's hard to imagine "Led Zepplin" causing anyone anxiety!
I agree - those are about the best dimples I've ever seen.
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What... o what is that I can see between dear Jakey's legs?!?!?!?!?
*whimpers*
*dies*
ahhh Sheyne you noticed that too hunh :o
you bet... ohhhh....
*licks lips and imports image to Photoshop for enhancing*
;D
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LOL - if only! I found this pic as an avatar, so it's as big as it gets. Somewhere there must be screencaps of Jarhead - if I find it I'll be sure to send it your way!
Okay Kirk - hopefully this works (if anyone is offended by this and wants me to remove it, let me know!):
I would have been offended if you didn't show it. :P
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More Brokie for Dummies:
- "Sweet life" = cow and calf operation with a hunky, strong-silent-type, incredibly sexy cowboy lover.
- "Slop-bucket mouths" = filthy language usually from equally filthy ol' biker types :P
- "Sonofabitch" = you incredibly hot, smokin' bastard, you. :o
- "Getting married in November" = Running away from the truth, you need more time to think on these wedding plans :-\
-"A g!ddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation" = well, just that really. :'(
[Okay, I stand corrected:
"A g!ddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation" = irritability resulting from highly infrequent hi-altitude fu!ks... :-\ ]
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ROTF...too funny.. :laugh:
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LOL - if only! I found this pic as an avatar, so it's as big as it gets. Somewhere there must be screencaps of Jarhead - if I find it I'll be sure to send it your way!
Okay Kirk - hopefully this works (if anyone is offended by this and wants me to remove it, let me know!):
that's from Jarhead? I haven't seen the film.
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Saw it Thursday night and could not sleep.... :o
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Hehe..another amusing thread.
More Brokie for Dummies (after we get a long list, we can publish it :P)
I guess I'll see you around = "I may kill myself later, but I'm still cool ..."
You and Alma, that's a life? = "Just send that silly bitch packing! It's me you want dummy!"
Earlier today I was castratin' calves = "Don't you get it? Do I have to spell it out to you? I am trying to gross you out, please leave me alone!"
You bet = I have never stopped thinking about you, your smile, your body, your smell, your eyes...I dream everyday of making love to you. Please Please Please, I need to see you!
;)
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LOL - if only! I found this pic as an avatar, so it's as big as it gets. Somewhere there must be screencaps of Jarhead - if I find it I'll be sure to send it your way!
Okay Kirk - hopefully this works (if anyone is offended by this and wants me to remove it, let me know!):
Thanks for asking Kirk. I've been wanting to ask since I saw it in Nicole's avatar, but I thought you'd all think I was a dirty old man who would use the pic for evil...........but I wouldn't..............I was going to line Sheyne up to recreate it for the "what do they got that we don't got" thread...... no really!
Anyhoooooooooo, thankyou for finding it Nicole. Next time I'll just come right out and ask!
And Sheyne. I don't know if I can recreate the dangly bit of which you speak. *Out comes the mop again!*
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*Now back to the original post*
"Hunh" = Gee I dunno what to say but I feel that if I don't make some sound I will be perceived as an ignorant uneducated fool who doesn't give a damn and I do but I have to find the right tone to convey 'I do if you do but if you don't then neither do I' and I'd love to rip your clothes off right here and now and spend the rest of my life licking your skin but my father taught me that that is bad so I won't commit except to wiggle my lips a little and push the sound out from my heart nevously so that you know that I want you to keep trying to convince me for another sixteen years or until you die whichever comes first do you wanna smoke?
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"Hunh" = Gee I dunno what to say but I feel that if I don't make some sound I will be perceived as an ignorant uneducated fool who doesn't give a damn and I do but I have to find the right tone to convey 'I do if you do but if you don't then neither do I' and I'd love to rip your clothes off right here and now and spend the rest of my life licking your skin but my father taught me that that is bad so I won't commit except to wiggle my lips a little and push the sound out from my heart nevously so that you know that I want you to keep trying to convince me for another sixteen years or until you die whichever comes first do you wanna smoke?
Lol, Ray. That's absolutely priceless!
Well, here we go:
Do you still go fishing with Jack Twist?
= Do you still go f*cking with that guy you nearly ate up outside our house that summer?
Sure ‘nough:
= I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe that this is happening to me. Somebody please kick me. That bastard won’t even buy me smokes!
::)
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Do you still go fishing with Jack Twist?
= Do you still go f*cking with that guy you nearly ate up outside our house that summer?
Sure ‘nough:
= I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe that this is happening to me. Somebody please kick me. That bastard won’t even buy me smokes!
Hahahahahahahaha, THAT is priceless!
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Thanks for asking Kirk. I've been wanting to ask since I saw it in Nicole's avatar, but I thought you'd all think I was a dirty old man who would use the pic for evil...........but I wouldn't..............I was going to line Sheyne up to recreate it for the "what do they got that we don't got" thread...... no really!
Anyhoooooooooo, thank you for finding it Nicole. Next time I'll just come right out and ask!
And Sheyne. I don't know if I can recreate the dangly bit of which you speak. *Out comes the mop again!*
First chance I get I'm coming to Brisbane.
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First chance I get I'm coming to Brisbane.
You are absolutely EXPECTED to come to Brisbane! I have a spare room, free will, and a friend called Sheyne.., (Sheyne can have the spare room ;D)
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LOL - if only! I found this pic as an avatar, so it's as big as it gets. Somewhere there must be screencaps of Jarhead - if I find it I'll be sure to send it your way!
Okay Kirk - hopefully this works (if anyone is offended by this and wants me to remove it, let me know!):
I was going to line Sheyne up to recreate it for the "what do they got that we don't got" thread...... no really!
And Sheyne. I don't know if I can recreate the dangly bit of which you speak. *Out comes the mop again!*
Yer gotta love a multi-functional mop... I can see the advertisement now: can be used as hair AND testicles... ;D
And uhhh... THIS was the scene you wanted to recreate?? Golly, here I was thinkin we'd build us a little campfire out at Ironbark Gully and I'd stick my boot in it... *goes a little dry in the mouth* Okay, but your ass will have to pass the test first, Ray... ;D ;D ;D
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Awesome additions by Ray and Anke! :laugh:
When I need a laugh, I go hunting for these amusing threads :)
I'll like to buy Jimbo here a drink = "Okay.. okay.. I know I am desperate, I just wanna get laid, is that so bad? I know this clown has nothing on my boy Ennis, but what's a guy to do? Oh Ennis, I could kill you, you bastard!"
Pleased to meet you ma'am = "Ennis is mine... We were together first, can't you see that we belong together? He is ALL mine tonight, whether you like it or not."
He's from Texas = "What is she going on and on about? Where are my clean pair of socks? Where is that friggin' blue shirt with the white stripes on it? Oh..gotta remember to take the fishin' rods too! Holy Shit, this must be a fuckin' dream!"
8)
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I just LOVE these threads!
OK, I'll try:
Ennis: "Fuck Aguirre? What if we need to work for him again?"
"Fuck Aguirre?? First off, we ain't fucking no one but each other, buddy, and as you'll find out later, I'll say it just once. Second, since I'm such a hopeless dummy, when this job's finished I'm gonna let you go without even a goodbye kiss, so I bloody well hope we have no choice but to come back and work here next summer so I can have a good excuse to be all over you again, in and around that tent."
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Way to go Isabelle! ;D
I love this thread too..Yeehaww!!
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Hahahahaha, everyone is bloody funny on this board!
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*Now back to the original post*
"Hunh" = Gee I dunno what to say but I feel that if I don't make some sound I will be perceived as an ignorant uneducated fool who doesn't give a damn and I do but I have to find the right tone to convey 'I do if you do but if you don't then neither do I' and I'd love to rip your clothes off right here and now and spend the rest of my life licking your skin but my father taught me that that is bad so I won't commit except to wiggle my lips a little and push the sound out from my heart nevously so that you know that I want you to keep trying to convince me for another sixteen years or until you die whichever comes first do you wanna smoke?
Exactly, like I said before: Ennis is the genius of concision. He can express so much in so few words!
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"'Sides, that sonofabitch, he's cuttin' us out of whole month's pay. It ain't.. it ain't right."
A month! A goddamn month! I coulda had that hot piece of ass for another month and we gotta go home TODAY!! It ain't.. it ain't right.
;D ;D
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"'Sides, that sonofabitch, he's cuttin' us out of whole month's pay. It ain't.. it ain't right."
A month! A goddamn month! I coulda had that hot piece of ass for another month and we gotta go home TODAY!! It ain't.. it ain't right.
;D ;D
Love it Sheyne..love the "hot piece of ass" part...haha ;D
I gotta think up some more 8)
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Brokie for Dummies, cont'd: ;D [please excuse my slop-bucket mouth 8) ]
Lively lil gal! = There I was thinking that my goose was cooked! Look at this poor loser, trapped with another one who just can't shut up. She's kinda hot tho', but dammit, you'd have to do more than pay me to live with her day-in, day-out, Jesus H.!
Jack asks Ennis, "What 'bout you?" Ennis replies:
"Me, I..I dont know" = What can i say, my life is so fuckin' screwed up when you are not there. How many times have I wrang it out imagining I was doin' you ... Shit, you know more about me than anyone else in this world ... I am utterly fucked when you are not there, and not in a good way either...
Me neither = " Like hell you ain't "queer"! The way you were riding this azz last night was beyond fuckin' amazing! I want this dude more than I can ever fuckin' admit to him, hell, I'd sell my own daddy in a flash if I had to, justa have another night with him. "I aint't no queer" indeed...whatever! "
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Brokie for Dummies, cont'd: ;D [please excuse my slop-bucket mouth 8) ]
Lively lil gal! = There I was thinking that my goose was cooked! Look at this poor loser, trapped with another one who just can't shut up. She's kinda hot tho', but dammit, you'd have to do more than pay me to live with her day-in, day-out, Jesus H.!
Jack asks Ennis, "What 'bout you?" Ennis replies:
"Me, I..I dont know" = What can i say, my life is so fuckin' screwed up when you are not there. How many times have I wrang it out imagining I was doin' you ... Shit, you know more about me than anyone else in this world ... I am utterly fucked when you are not there, and not in a good way either...
Me neither = " Like hell you ain't "queer"! The way you were riding this azz last night was beyond fuckin' amazing! I want this dude more than I can ever fuckin' admit to him, hell, I'd sell my own daddy in a flash if I had to, justa have another night with him. "I aint't no queer" indeed...whatever! "
Hell, Lucise! I just had to pick myself up from under the table where I had collapsed, laughing! How inconsiderate of you, never thinking of those with weak hearts...
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Anything to give you a laugh, Anke! ;) ;D
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Lol. I especially like the part: "I'd sell my own daddy in a flash if I had to, justa have another night with him". Think that's very realistic...
Okay, this one is less juicy:
You girls need a push or somethin'?
= Children, the best thing you can do right now is: don’t ask! Daddy is having a low startle point today because work sucks, your mother is not fixing dinner for us and, worst of all, it’s been ages since I last got laid by Jack Nasty. Damnit! You both better just ignore me for a while. *kicks bucket*
:)
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Brokie for Dummies, cont'd: ;D [please excuse my slop-bucket mouth 8) ]
Lively lil gal! = There I was thinking that my goose was cooked! Look at this poor loser, trapped with another one who just can't shut up. She's kinda hot tho', but dammit, you'd have to do more than pay me to live with her day-in, day-out, Jesus H.!
Jack asks Ennis, "What 'bout you?" Ennis replies:
"Me, I..I dont know" = What can i say, my life is so fuckin' screwed up when you are not there. How many times have I wrang it out imagining I was doin' you ... Shit, you know more about me than anyone else in this world ... I am utterly fucked when you are not there, and not in a good way either...
Me neither = " Like hell you ain't "queer"! The way you were riding this azz last night was beyond fuckin' amazing! I want this dude more than I can ever fuckin' admit to him, hell, I'd sell my own daddy in a flash if I had to, justa have another night with him. "I aint't no queer" indeed...whatever! "
LMAO.. if you guys get any funnier, I'll have to start wearing diapers.
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LMAO.. if you guys get any funnier, I'll have to start wearing diapers.
[/quote]
Now THIS is funny too!
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Ennis to Alma (I'm quoting from memory): "Uh... there's some smoke in the pocket of my shirt if you want some".
"And while you're at it, just take the smokes and pack this shirt in a bag, along with my other spare shirt and my spare jeans - after the hello we've just given each other, I think me and Jack's gonna need a few days out in the wild to catch up on old times. Tooth brush as well, please, but don't bother too much about the fishing rod and creel case - I'll grab hold of that on the way out if I think of it."
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You know I ain't queer..
Jack, I have had an incredibly traumatic upbringing. I am an orphan, raised by indifferent siblings, thrown into menial, hard ranch work because the car broke down and I could no longer go to school. But while my father WAS alive, he was kind enough to show me and my brother the mutilated corpse of a man he very likely murdered for being a homosexual. Naturally this scarred me terribly and taught me the lesson that homosexuality is punishable by death, should local bigots get wind of the fact. Now, you've not only taken my virginity, but my heart as well and I need to say out loud that I'm not a gay man, despite being absolutely head over heels in love with you. I'm very confused but asserting heterosexuality is one way towards making me feel better about wanting to have sex with you lots till this job is over.
The "Me Neither" was done beautifully by Lucise. I ain't touchin that one!!! :laugh: :laugh:
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You know I ain't queer..
Jack, I have had an incredibly traumatic upbringing. I am an orphan, raised by indifferent siblings, thrown into menial, hard ranch work because the car broke down and I could no longer go to school. But while my father WAS alive, he was kind enough to show me and my brother the mutilated corpse of a man he very likely murdered for being a homosexual. Naturally this scarred me terribly and taught me the lesson that homosexuality is punishable by death, should local bigots get wind of the fact. Now, you've not only taken my virginity, but my heart as well and I need to say out loud that I'm not a gay man, despite being absolutely head over heels in love with you. I'm very confused but asserting heterosexuality is one way towards making me feel better about wanting to have sex with you lots till this job is over.
The "Me Neither" was done beautifully by Lucise. I ain't touchin that one!!! :laugh: :laugh:
lol Sheyne! ;D
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<Ennis's comment about leaving his shirt up there.>
Jack: Yeah
Translation: Look, what I really wanted was a goodbye kiss. Ok, well, actually, I wanted a goodbye fuck. Well, ok, if you really want to know, I wanted to go off somewhere where we could spend every day of the rest of our lives together. But you're a little touchy today, so I took your shirt instead. I'm not even going to wash it this time.
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<Ennis's comment about leaving his shirt up there.>
Jack: Yeah
Translation: Look, what I really wanted was a goodbye kiss. Ok, well, actually, I wanted a goodbye fuck. Well, ok, if you really want to know, I wanted to go off somewhere where we could spend every day of the rest of our lives together. But you're a little touchy today, so I took your shirt instead. I'm not even going to wash it this time.
Nice one...Actually, makes me sad.
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I'm gonna say this to you one time, Jack Fuckin' Twist. And I ain't foolin'. What I don't know, all them things I don't know...could get you killed if I should come to know them.
What's mine is MINE..whether I'll admit it, or not!
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<Ennis's comment about leaving his shirt up there.>
Jack: Yeah
Translation: Look, what I really wanted was a goodbye kiss. Ok, well, actually, I wanted a goodbye fuck. Well, ok, if you really want to know, I wanted to go off somewhere where we could spend every day of the rest of our lives together. But you're a little touchy today, so I took your shirt instead. I'm not even going to wash it this time.
Nice one...Actually makes me sad.
I nearly added something about "And when the audience finds out what I did with it, they're going to cry for at least 36 hours straight. If they can go that long without seeing the movie again."
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<Ennis's comment about leaving his shirt up there.>
Jack: Yeah
Translation: Look, what I really wanted was a goodbye kiss. Ok, well, actually, I wanted a goodbye fuck. Well, ok, if you really want to know, I wanted to go off somewhere where we could spend every day of the rest of our lives together. But you're a little touchy today, so I took your shirt instead. I'm not even going to wash it this time.
Nice one...Actually makes me sad.
I nearly added something about "And when the audience finds out what I did with it, they're going to cry for at least 36 hours straight. If they can go that long without seeing the movie again."
For a while, I couldn't go 36 hours... that was reallly adorable.
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Let's keep it rolling ladies and gents! ;)
We were fishing buddies:
"Jack Twist, hunh?! Don't get me started on that dude! He made me feel and experience things that I
couldn't even understand. He's real beautiful to look at, and funny and kind and like nobody
I've ever met in my entire goddamn life. I get hard just rememberin' the things we did together, Jesus H.,
there I was thinking that I had left all that behind me, who the fuck was I kidding anyway?
I know that I married you and ev'rything, but me and Jack got som'thing real special...I've never
needed another fella in all my born days, but goddammit, I need this one like a poor, homeless fella
needs a good home and a warm meal."
I got ya message about the divorce:
"Aw, fuck I am so excited! I mean..damn! I mean...we really could give this a shot!
You sonofabitch..I mean...I couldn't wait till next month. The thought of you being alone,
without her, and me being all the way in Texas..just couldn't sit still thinking of all
the things we could be doing. Fuck! You did it Ennis! Yeeaahhh! You are looking mighty
fine right about now, can we go inside for a second...? I mean...damn! I have you all to myself
for once! This is so fuckin' amazing!"
:)
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Let's keep it rolling ladies and gents! ;)
We were fishing buddies:
"Jack Twist, hunh?! Don't get me started on that dude! He made me feel and experience things that I
couldn't even understand. He's real beautiful to look at, and funny and kind and like nobody
I've ever met in my entire goddamn life. I get hard just rememberin' the things we did together, Jesus H.,
there I was thinking that I had left all that behind me, who the fuck was I kidding anyway?
I know that I married you and ev'rything, but me and Jack got som'thing real special...I've never
needed another fella in all my born days, but goddammit, I need this one like a poor, homeless fella
needs a good home and a warm meal."
I got ya message about the divorce:
"Aw, fuck I am so excited! I mean..damn! I mean...we really could give this a shot!
You sonofabitch..I mean...I couldn't wait till next month. The thought of you being alone,
without her, and me being all the way in Texas..just couldn't sit still thinking of all
the things we could be doing. Fuck! You did it Ennis! Yeeaahhh! You are looking mighty
fine right about now, can we go inside for a second...? I mean...damn! I have you all to myself
for once! This is so fuckin' amazing!"
:)
LMAO.. I'm not even going to try to keep up with you. I enjoy reading them. You are too funny.
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LMAO.. I'm not even going to try to keep up with you. I enjoy reading them. You are too funny.
Sure you can Dee! :)
This thread is one of my faves, can't quit it! ;D I wonder if this is what yadpyaar had in mind when she started it though? :-\ *sigh*...as long as we keep the fun rollin' ! ;)
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Here's another take on "We was fishin' buddies":
= Haha, good Lord, Alma, if I was to tell you the truth about Jack Fuckin' Twist you’d burn your pan cakes! You’d probably suffer a coronary or wet that ghastly dress of yours, or both. God, if you knew gal! If you knew what we were doing on that mountain all the time… Damn it, that was the best fuckin’ time of my life, in every sense of the word! Phew, I gotta get outa here, before she thinks I’m all excited about her and drags me to the bedroom. Poor thing. She’d hang herself if she knew what a bore she’s in bed…. Jack Twist, you rule! You better get here quick! I want you!!!!
:P
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Here's another take on "We was fishin' buddies":
= Haha, good Lord, Alma, if I was to tell you the truth about Jack Fuckin' Twist you’d burn your pan cakes!
:P
lol Anke.
Poor poor Alma ;D
Sometimes its best to keep the truth hidden, especially if it is anything like the way we describe it here! ;D
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*whistles idly*
Who gives a bump? I do!! ;D
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Bumping some precious old threads!! 8)
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Thanks for bumping, this is so cool! I think I might add a bump...
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Four years ago today!!
Okay, now what are the rules for speaking Brokeback? We all know that in order to be a true Brokie, you have to get all of the "ism"s down and use them frequently.
-- If you are impatient with someone, it is customary to say: "Whatta ya waitin' for, cowboy? A matin' call?"
-- Double negatives are imperative.
-- Sheep are called "woolies."
-- "Ketchup" is a catch-all word for every type of condiment.
- To get skinny-assed cowboys out of your trailer, start a phone call and glare at them until they bolt.
- Stop your wife from asking for cigarettes, and thus frustrating your secret tryst by always having smokes in the pocket of your blue shirt.
- Alleviate your ex-wife's suspicions by telling her she 'don't know nothin'
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Thanks for bumping, Lee. Gosh, the threads I have never seen! This one is particularly funny and touching. For the content, as well as the lovely people involved.
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Thanks for bumping, Lee. Gosh, the threads I have never seen! This one is particularly funny and touching. For the content, as well as the lovely people involved.
Sure enough...you bet, friend!