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Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond => Brokeback Mountain Open Forum => IMDb Remarkable Writings Rewound => Topic started by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:05:01 pm

Title: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:05:01 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:25:15 )   

UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 14:30:43
Of course a sequel is utterly rediculous... When the story is done, it's done. Except in Hollywood...

Never underestimate the power of profit!

What follows are a series of posts (tongue firmly in cheek) dedicated to proving the rule that a sequel can always be generated - granted only this: one must be fully committed to completely sacrificing the artistic integrity of the source material.

There is a genre here for just about everyone. Enjoy them, or don't...

Furthermore, the BBM franchise can be infinitely extended:

1.) by gutting virtually any story to its framework and injecting it with Brokeback Mountain DNA,
2.) simply negating the original story and rewriting;
3.) redressing the original with new props,
4.) slicing into the timeline of the original story and injecting new material;
5.) continuing the original story forward by using an improbable event and reshuffling elements of the source material;
6.) or simply dropping a completely different story line into the BBM Universe.

For anyone who feels a sequel is unnecessary, congratulations. You've decided wisely.


Some people might wonder why there are a number of Sci-Fi stories. If we are to learn anything from Sci-Fi, it is this: death is not forever. Annie Proulx also suggested that her inspiration for some of Brokeback Mountain came from science fiction--people transported by a wormhole (Brokeback) and forever changed by the experience.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:05:56 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:27:56 )   

"It's a Wonderful Brokeback Life" - Christmas TV Special


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis works hard to bring home money for Alma to spend on Christmas gifts, all the while thinking of Jack as he is working with animals.

Lureen works hard to bring home money for Jack to spend on Christmas gifts. Jack goes shopping and lingers in the men's hat section eyeing an earthtoned Stetson Resistol, which he buys for himself because it reminds him of Ennis.

Cross cut with scenes of tranquil domesticity as both families happily prepare for the holidays.

Jack decides to grow a mustache.

Jack sends Ennis a Christmas card: "Friend, have a festive holiday! See you in the spring! Jack."

Ennis sends Jack a Christmas postcard: "You bet."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:06:34 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:29:53 )   

"Brokeback Fever Pitch"

PLOT SYNOPSIS: (Send this to Project Greenlight, has some potential as an Affleck/Damon vehicle)

Ennis and Jack meet in Boston during the baseball off-season at a "Cowboy Up" event at a local gay bar and choose to leave their wives and marry each other. They get autographs of Kevin Millar and Johnny Damon.

Jack becomes frustrated because Ennis will only be intimate with him when the Red Sox win a game. Hilarity and heartbreak ensue.

Jack (wearing a Jason Veritek jersey): "I'm get wicked lonely waiting for off-season. Just once I wish you would look at me like I was freekin Jason Veritek or something."

Ennis (wearing a Pedro Martinez jersey): "Jack, you'll always be my freekin Veritek."

Jack scores seats on the Green Monster during the playoffs, and Ennis goes for beer and pizza, only to return and find Jack was fatally injured during his absence by a Yankee home run struck by Derek Jeter.

Ennis's sadness stays with him even after the Sox win the World Series in 2004 and Reverse the Curse of the Bambino. Too late, Ennis comes to realize that the World Series trophy has come at enormous personal cost.

Ennis hangs both his and Jack's jersey in his closet on a hanger together, number 45 tenderly and symbolically cradling number 33, home colors lovingly cradling away colors, hanging together like two skins.

Ennis, eyes watering, kisses a Carlton Fisk autographed ball, replaces it in the closet, and says: "Jack, I swear... Yankees Suck"
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:07:14 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:32:03 )   

"The Day of the Jonquil"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

FBI agent Ennis Delmar returns from Brokeback Mountain after a summer of deep cover and sets about working on a covert op directed personally by J. Edgar Hoover.

Hoover wishes to bring down the present administration, and he authorizes a hit on the wife of the President of the United States - code named: Jonquil. Ennis, under the pretext of preparing for a November wedding, arranges the purchase of special weapons arranged through a Basque contact he arranged to meet on Brokeback (the mixing of the sheep was a cover op) and imported by a female deep cover agent in Childress Texas - Lureen. Ennis must collect the weapons he ordered, but much to his horror he sees Jack and fears his cover will be blown. Lureen seduces Jack to allow Ennis time to escape with his weapons shipment, and to set up operations in Dallas Texas. Hoover tells Ennis he wants the first lady assassinated as the motorcade parades through Dallas and gives him the exact date. Ennis realizes it is the day after his wedding and he will need to do some quick thinking to continue to use Alma as his cover story. He plans a wedding reception in Dallas

Ennis returns to Wyoming with plans underway. He marries Alma and on the night of their wedding, they travel to their honeymoon in Dallas Texas. The next morning, Ennis tells Alma that he is going out for some smokes and he might not be back until night. Alma sobs tearfully after he leaves, thinking that Ennis might be going off to see another man.

Ennis takes up position in the snipers nest he has arranged in Dallas. The motorcade passes through Dallas and Ennis takes aim at his target, when suddenly shots ring out from the grassy knoll. The president has been gunned down and Ennis suddenly realizes he has been set up by J. Edgar Hoover to take the fall!
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:07:56 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:36:30 )   

UPDATED Thu Apr 27 2006 13:36:54
"Brokeback Mountain ('Delmar Darko' Special Extended Edition)"


(ALTERATION TO MOVIE: After every time Ennis and Jack separate, add a bizarre conversation with Ennis and a man in a weird rabbit suit.)

(ALTERATION to end of orginal movie to cut and reloop the timeline.)

Ennis at his closet. Ennis says "Jack, I swear..."

Sudden cut to black.

In the darkness, the sound of truck engine humming along then coming to a stop.

Reprise montage from beginning of movie: Street scene, train passes. Replace shots of Ennis on steps of Aguirre's tailer with shots of Ennis nervously darting glances down the road as he smokes. (NO MUSIC)

Green truck pulls in. Wheel spin kicks up dirt. Ennis tosses cigarette.

Jack steps out of truck. Strikes pose against truck. Locks eyes with at Ennis (looking directly into camera).

Ennis looks up from under brim of his hat, meets his gaze and locks eyes with him. (cue to Opening chords) Slight smile from Ennis.

Ennis crosses street. Takes out two cigarettes, lights both at the same time and passes one to Jack. (Homage to Now Voyager). Jack smiles. Camera pulls back as they begin to talk (Dub music The Wings and fade out).
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:08:45 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:39:20 )   

"Theatre of Blood (Brokeback Mountain edition)"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Brokeback Mountain gets a meta-treatment of the Vincent Price / Diana Rigg classic.

Heath, Jake, and Michelle, all pissed they got stiffed for AMPAS awards, target members of the Academy and Film Critics for ultimate revenge.

Roger Ebert, Richard Roeper, Gene Siskel, and Oprah Winfrey look-alikes are all bumped off in high style in great death scenes drawn from gay themed movies. Ang Lee makes a cameo appearance. Randy Quaid plays "Roger Egbert" , Sean Hayes plays "Richie Roepik", Star Jones plays "Orca Windfall", and in a special appearance Tom Hanks plays "Gene Cystic."

Finally, a special award of vengeance is reserved for Paul Haggis, who is fiendishly impailed (in manner most compromising) on Ang Lee's best director Award!

Ang Lee (aside to camera): "I guess Ole Brokeback got him good!"

In a radical departure from the original storyline, Heath, Jake, and Michelle all survive the ending, ride off on horses, and live happily ever after together in the mountains of Calgary.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:09:21 pm
The Mighty Elks of Brokeback County   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix   (Wed Dec 13 2006 10:53:19 )   
      
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:41:14 )   

"The Mighty Elks of Brokeback County"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis, working through his loss and anguish issues, promises his daughter Alma Jr. he will coach a gay ice hockey team of misfits. He teaches them to cowboy up, and that to be a gay athlete means to be more macho than the straight guys. Now they must learn to pull together, if they want to win together.

Olympic skater Johnny Weir wears figure skates instead of hockey skates and narrowly misses disqualification. He incorporates flying camels, spirals, and triple lutzes in some of the most amazing ice hockey action ever lensed! (When he scores a goal, 5 cheerleaders on the side each hold up a card with varying ratings 9.2, 9.4, 9.6, 9.7., 9.5).

"Are we ELKS or are we SHEEP?! Ennis rallies his team.

"We're HERE, we're QUEER, we're FABULOUS, so get USED TO IT!" the team rallies back!

Ennis, holding up Jack's blue shirt with a dirty cuff, "I want you all to GET UP off your pockets and into your CONTROL ZONES! Now, let's go out and WIN THIS ONE for the TWISTER!"

Ennis shepherds them through the play-offs, and helps to pair off all the boys into couples (who are all of legal age), and lets the members of the team design their own unforms. The Mighty Elks win the championship cup, and win the hearts and minds of the community, and they grudgingly win the respect of Joe Aguirre, the homophobe church leader who tried to stand in their way.

Inspirational speech by Ennis in the Kiss and Cry area after the hockey game.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:11:21 pm
The Time is Not Enough (On Her Majesty's Secret Brokeback)   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix   (Wed Dec 13 2006 10:59:56 )   

      
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:45:12 )   

"The Time is Not Enough (On Her Majesty's Secret Brokeback)"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Car skids on sand on the beach. Ennis rushes out and tries to commit suicide by swimming out to sea. Jack Twist's car skids behind. Jack rushes out to rescue Ennis. Gun fight with Blofeld's assassin's on beach. Jack fires but he can't shoot straight, but fortunately he succeeds in scaring attackers off. Ennis takes off leaving Jack alone.

Jack (in a puckish aside to camera): "This would have never happened to Pierce Brosnan."

Jack meets Ennis in Aguirre von Blofeld's casino and rescues him from a huge debt he has run up and cannot pay.

"My name is Twist, Jack Twist.."

"My name's Ennis."

"Your parents stop at Ennis?"

"I am the Count Ennis Ivanonich Dragomilov Nuyrev Fyodor Krazilovski Delmar. My father owns Delmar Cybermations, Ltd. I doesn't matter what you call me - so long as you call tonight... "

M informs agent Twist, via a secret transmitter in his uvula that she has just received word from special agent McGuffin that archfiend Blofeld is looking to acquire Delmar Cybermations, Ltd. for some nefarious purpose.

Jack and Ennis meet for a covert evening interlude, and Ennis puts the blocks to Jack. In the morning, Ennis wakes up before Jack does and disappears, but leaves an envelope with a floppy disk (marked "FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: Project Mad Sheep - murder most evil") under Jack's pillow. Jack immediately realizes that Ennis is in danger.

Ennis is taken captive by Aguirre von Blofeld in a newly built private ski resort at the top Brokeback Mountain. Aguirre is intent on seducing Ennis, but Ennis resists. Outside the sheep graze ominously, and Brokeback Mountain seems to be lit by oblique and lurid beams.

Ennis forestalls Blofeld's advances by telling him he has to say prayers before having sex... (much comedy as Ennis - a Methodist - tries to pray in faux Latin).

Jack arranges a covert op to rescue Ennis. Trumping up an explosion at a nearby Basque encampment, Jack radios Blofeld that they need to give clearance for an emergency medflight. Ennis hears the transmission, realizes it is Jack coming to rescue him and distracts Blofeld by whispering into his ear the words Blofeld always had some silent, sexless hunger to hear "You're sleepin on your feet like a horse. Time for bed, cowboy." The distraction buys time for Jack.

Jack gives the sheep an antidote, leads the assault on the ski resort. Aguirre before escaping, orders his hitmen (Greg, Peter, and Bobby) to kill Ennis. Ennis valiently fights each of them off, and joins Jack for a breathtaking chase down the mountain together on horseback, just barely staying ahead of assassins and an avalanche. They deftly dispatch all their pursuers and nuzzle.

Project Mad Sheep now halted. Jack and Ennis decide to take their vows together before an Episcopalian minister in Canada, and leave in a car marked "Just Married."

They pull over and kiss tenderly.

Jack: "Ennis, do you know why i pick this ring for you?

Ennis: "Because diamonds are forever?"

In the background, Aguirre von Blofeld's car is seen drawing up alongside out of focus...

Jack: "Time. The time is never enough..."

Shots rings out from Blofeld's car.

Jack: "It's Blofeld! Let's head him off at the pass!"

Ennis stares with glassy eyes. And Jack is left with nothing but the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain in his hands...

Roll credits as Louis Armstrong sings "We Have All the Time in the World."

Other titles in the newly discovered Ian Flemming/Jack Twist 007 series:

"The Man with the Golden Gun Goin Off"
"Octospunky"
"Moonspanker"
"Diamonds are for Heifers"
"Rosefinger"
"Never Say Clever Enough"
"Licence to Spill"
"From Riverton with Love"
"The Gay who Loved Me"
"Dye Another Gay"
"Thunderballz"
"For Your Guys Only"
"Spew to a Kill"
"The Living Gaylights"
"Live and Get Bi"
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:12:27 pm

      
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:48:33 )   

UPDATED Thu Apr 27 2006 13:50:13
"When a Brokeback Stranger Calls"


Plot Synopsis:

In a remote mountain tent in the wooded area surrounding Brokeback Mountain, Ennis and Jack have just settled in for a routine night of the usual intimacy. The sheep are sound asleep, as are the horses, and Ennis and Jack settle down on their bedroll for a midsummer night's scream.

A voice on the Walkie-talkie tells them to "check the sheep," Jack begins to panic, and Ennis is looking grim.

They try to radio Joe Aguirre, who contacts the police. The police radio back that they have traced the calls - they're coming from inside the tent!

A blade slices up between them through the bedroll narrowly missing the both of them. Ennis and Jack must keep all their wits about them and find a way to fight back, if they are going to make it out of the tent alive.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:13:05 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:52:01 )   

"The DelMari Code"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

A mysterious visiter arrives at Ennis's trailer to inform him that recently National Geographic acquired a gnostic document reputed to be the Gospel of Judas Iscariot. Judas reveals the true nature of his relationship with Jesus and the two of them secretly adopted a son, born of a union with Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Using the extensive geneological records kept by the Church of Latter Day Saints at an undisclosed Utah location, Catholic organization Opus Fey has traced the family lineage to Lightning Flats. There they seek a child born of a union with Jack F. Twist and a woman only known to them as Lureen.

Ennis is in a race against time if he is to find Lureen and save Jack Twist's only begotten son in this wildly improbable thriller from the director of "Splash."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:13:47 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:53:59 )   

"Strangers on a Trail"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

New to the mountain, Jack and Ennis meet on the back trails of Brokeback Mountain and the attraction is utterly electric. Ennis complains of being "caught in his own loop" and Jack misunderstands and jokes that he' do anything to make Ennis happy. Around a campfire, Jack and Ennis pass a bottle and the discussion take a decidely dark turn when Ennis wishes he never had married. Jack suggests they swap jobs, exchange murders, criss-cross. Snow comes early and the two lovers go their separate ways - Ennis having forgotten what Jack so clearly remembers...

Ennis returns home to his wife, but she is suspicious about why he was gone fishing for two whole months and never opened his creel. Ennis leaves to buy a pack of smokes and to give himself the opportunty to get his story straight.

Jack stalks Alma and strangles her, her hands dislodging Jack's Ray-ban sunglasses which fall to the ground. Alma's last moments are double reflected in the lenses.

Ennis is horrified to learn what has happened to Alma, and even more horrified to discover he is the prime suspect.

Jack sends a postcard to Ennis saying, "Wish you were here, Jack and LUREEN. CHILDRESS, TEXAS." The huge sadness of the northern plains rolls down on Ennis as realizes his unwitting complicity in this symbolic transfer of guilt. Clearly Jack has unmet expectations and his homocidal thirst will not be slaked until Ennis lives up to his part of the bargain...

Finally, the police chief produces the Ray-bans and confronts Ennis about their ownership.

Fighting back tears, Ennis confesses: "But they're Jack's, I swear...."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:14:27 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:58:01 )   

"Brokeback Crying Game"


(The part of Jack is played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. Nathan Lane plays Lureen.)

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis spends the summer with "Jack" unaware that Jaqui is really female.

Ennis is troubled by what he thinks is a homosexual encounter with a madly handsome guy, but the encounter is really just a regular old garden variety heterosexual encounter with a really homely woman.

They go separate ways after Brokeback.

Ennis marries Alma and is plagued by memories of his life with Jack. Jaqui marries a heterosexual transgender named Larry who has changed his name to Lureen.

They guiltily meet over the next twenty years in a intense sexual relationship based on a totally impossible sexual mis-understanding.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:15:25 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:59:46 )   

"The Brokeback of Notre Dame"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

At Notre Dame University, agriculture major Ennis Delmar overcomes a slight scoliosis to become a quarterback for the Fighting Irish. He meets outgoing and talkative Jack Twist - a harmonica major and wide receiver who has been getting grief from the other team members for repeatedly dropping the soap in the the team shower.

They date hot cheerleaders and forge a secret friendship that will last for the next twenty years as both men become ProBowlers - one for the AFL, one for the NFL. Their steriod enhanced infrequent couplings are tinged with sadness as one of their careers is cut tragically short by a torn Achilles tendon.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:16:56 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:01:25 )   

"The Boys in the Band of Brothers"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

In 1939, John Twist (Jack's father) joins the military and discovers that military life agrees with him, particularly hazing stunts. He finds others of a like mind in the military and they forge a special elite commando unit who between engaging the Nazis in gunfire, engage each other in games of homoerotic sado-masochism, and snide, catty remarks that reveal the depths total self-loathing.

Once the Nazis are defeated, John returns to Lightning Flats to marry his childhood sweetheart, becomes an active member of his church community, frequently drinks to forget the horrors he's seen, and has a child he repeatly abuses in order to teach him to be a real man.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:17:19 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:04:51 )   

"The Chronicles of Brokeback"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis at his closet adjusts the shirts. He is about to shut the door when he hears a sound from inside the closet. There appears to be a light coming inside the closet. Puzzled, Ennis peers deeper into the closet and steps inside...

Jack's Voice: "Ennis! I've been looking everywhere for you! You know I've missed you so much I could whip babies..."

Ennis (stepping through the closet an into the snow covered world of Brokeback Mountain, sees Jack and looks confused): "Jack? I thought you were..."

Jack: "I'm not dead."

Ennis: "Me neither."

A passionate exchange is shared, with a post-coital Jack whispering: "Guns goin off agin..." They sleep nested together.

In the morning, Jack tells Ennis what has been happening on the mountain since they were separated. An evil queen played by Sharon Stone is trying to rule the world by promoting the heterosexist agenda, and bring pestilence upon all mankind in the form of Beaver Fever. She is aided by wolfen henchmen (Jerry Mathers and Randy Quaid) who are symbolically preying on the flock of sheep of Brokeback.

Clouds darken over the mountain, and Ole Brokeback roils with a demonic energy.

Jack is now joined by the Mystical Elk who asks Ennis to help Jack watch over the flock. Ennis has a flashback to years ago when he neglected the sheep and found the gutted carcass of a sheep that died on his watch. Several sheep also step forward to back up the story, and an amazed Ennis now says to Jack: "I sure am glad you didn't eat any of these guys."

Reunited, Jack and Ennis now forge an ironclad alliance as they must sever all ties to reality in order to save humankind through the use of CG effects and plot devices that beg credulity - and sabotage the Spring 2006 release of "Basic Instinct 2".

End shot of Ennis tenderly feeding Jack a spoon of soup; Jack feeding Ennis a spoon of beans.
Roll Credits: Play "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:17:56 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:06:33 )   

"Jesusaurus Park"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis and Jack find romance on the mountain, but the mountain is not what it seems. Joe Aguirre is experimenting with DNA recovery from prehistoric fossils and injecting the DNA into rose stem cells rescued from fertility clinics in Wyoming. The experiment goes horribly wrong when DNA from a velociraptor is accidently injected into host cells from Pat Robertson and a clueless Anita Bryant is chosen to be the surrogate mother. This unholy union chooses to liberate itself from its uterine constraints by performing its own style of C-section. Jack and Ennis fall to their knees and try to pray, but alas, God is now the proprietary intellectual property of the Republican party.

Now a fully grown, fire-breathing Jesusaurus Rex (Americanus Talibanus Republica), the relentless monster not only spews homophobic vitriol, but also shows absolutely no regard for environmental impact, and promotes its heterosexist agenda by offering a series of socially irresponsible tax cuts.

Ennis and Jack narrowly escape, but not before the Jesusaurus escapes the mountain and heads east to Washington, D.C.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:18:22 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:08:14 )   

"Meet the Flockers"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis decides to marry Jack in an legally non-binding Wyoming civil commitment ceremony, but he must first convince his brother and sister (Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Steisand) to give their blessings in order to inherit the 24 dollars their dad left for him before missing that fateful curve in the road.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:18:52 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:11:30 )   

UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 06:12:44
"The Lords of Brokeback"(The Lords of Dogtown)


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Jack and Ennis (newly arrived from Venice Beach) are hired to keep watch over a large flock of CG sheep in the foothills of Brokeback Mountain. They ride horses, and sleep together in a tent.

Eventually, both decide that man does not live for sex alone, and taste the mind-blowing euphoria of alcohol enhanced mountain snowboarding. (2006 olympic medal skunker Bodie Miller guest stars as the Basque shepherd who puts the boys on to their special alcohol and testosterone charged purpose!)
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:19:17 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:13:08 )   

"The Four Fathers"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis is humiliated to discover that Alma does not know the identity of Alma Jr.'s father. Ennis must now take a blood test, and he must use every trick in his book to coaxe the three men into willingly providing Ennis with their genetic material, so Ennis can accurately establish Alma Jr.'s paternal lineage for the purpose of divorce.

In the end, Ennis turns out to be the real father after all, because the way Alma likes it "don't make no babies..."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:20:06 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:14:44 )   

"The Gay Civil Union Crashers"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

A light hearted look at a Jack and Ennis seventies reunion, when instead of going fishing, they decide to go to Denver and drop in on gay wedding. Jack wagers Ennis that whoever can have sex with all members of the 8 man wedding party in the next 24 hours will not have to pay for the next fishing trip.

Jack asks Ennis if he's in?

Ennis replies,"You bet!"

Much humor as Ennis attracts mostly co-dependent women and short guys.

Jack wins the bet, but breaks Ennis's heart. Jack and Ennis make up, make out, make love, and make off with a bottle of champagne.

Ennis and Jack come to realize that fishing trips are what they do best, and they agree to see each other for trout season.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:20:32 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:16:30 )   

"Under a Bettermost Vanilla Sky" (Abre los ojos de montaña del brokeback )

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

The week of his 33rd birthday, Wyoming native Ennis Delmar, a ranchhand who has strange dreams, spends a night of passion with fishing buddy Jack, a friend he sometimes sleeps with, and a night with Alma, his ex-wife. Ennis feels ready to finally commit to real relationship, but with who?

Delmar is lovable, poor, and inarticulate: he inherited nothing from his parents and his brother and sister want him out of their lives.

Now jump ahead: he's in jail, wearing a prosthetic mask and black cowboy hat, talking to a unsympathetic psychologist (Dr. Joe Aguirre) to get at the truth behind a mysterious death. Who has died? Jack? Alma? How? And who the hell is the Basque?

Ennis rides horses, finds a deep and spiritual love with a man, angonizes over a divorce from a woman who loves him, and struggles to become a good father when he has no role models.

In Ennis's trailer, the television set is on and we see Cigarbutt, a horse who survived for months frozen in ice and through the miracle of science, has lived to be revived - a tantilizing clue to huge plot reveal!

Ennis must come to terms with what is reality and what is illusion, and find the answer to the following question:

Am I alive or dead? When was my timeline edited, and am I the one responsible?

(Music by Johnny Cash, and Nine Inch Nails)
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:21:08 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:18:17 )   

"ST:TNG/ The Wrath of Borgback Mountain"


Plot Synopsis

24th century and the new Enterprise and it's captain, Jean-Luc Picard, have been ordered not to interfere in a combat between a Borg Cube and Federation ships. Picard ignores his orders and orders the Enterprise to fire on a weak spot of the Cube, destroying most of it. Part of the cube escapes through a hole in the plot and of course it heads straight for Signal, Wyoming.

The Borg go back in time to destroy Joe Aguirre and his hyperdrive experiement, and the Enterprise chases the Borg through a space-time distortion thingy. Now in Signal, Wyoming in 1963, the Enterprise must stop the Borg from assimilating Earth and help Joe Aguirre make his famous hyperjump to space. If Aguirre does not make his hyperjump a routine Vulcan mapping mission would not detect the warp signature, and first contact would not be made in this timeline.

Jack and Ennis are accidently beamed aboard the Enterprise because of some plausible malfunction of the transporter. Jack and Ennis's relationship is accepted and unquestioned aboard the Enterprise because space travel is funded by liberals, not conservatives. The two of them are introduced to the holodeck and Jack conjures up a fantasy about Mexico, which leaves Ennis angry and suspicious. They fight. Ennis storms off, sobbing and dry heaving in the Engineering Section.

Jack is all alone in the holodeck in a Mexican fantasy...

Ennis is suddenly cornered by two Borg who look like Jack's parents with metal parts stuck on. Ennis resists, but resistance is futile. He is captured and assimilated by the Borg.

Jack is left to wonder if he should try to save Ennis, or make a move on the fabulous Mexican Lieutentant working on the bridge. Decisions, decisions....
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:21:40 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:19:53 )   

"The Wyoming Patient"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

In a Wyoming hospital in Signal 1963, Lureen, a nurse from Childress Texas, is caring for a pilot who was horribly burned in a plane wreck that was used to watch over a flock of sheep on Brokeback Mountain; he has no identification and cannot remember his name, so he's known simply as "the Wyoming Patient," thanks to his unintelligible accent which seems to be from the Outback side of Wyoming.

When the hospital is forced to evacuate, Lureen determines that the patient shouldn't be moved far due to his fragile condition, so the two are left in an old trailer to be picked up later. In time, Lureen begins to piece together the patient's story from the shards of his memories; he's actually Ennis Delmar, a sheep herder working with Joe Aguirre in Brokeback Mountain territory.

In flashback, we see a handsome young guy from Lightning Flats named Jack Twist as he joins Delmar's team; travelling with him to watch over the flock. Ennis and Jack soon fall in love, which leads Delmar to betray Aguirre, his girlfriend Alma and all that is dear to him. Meanwhile, Alma and the Wyoming Patient are joined by a Basque - a stealth intelligence shepherd who knows some of Delmar's most shameful secrets.

As Lureen pieces the story together and figures out the relationship of Ennis Delmar to her late husband Jack, she is overcome with emotion and gives him a fatal injection and leaves to start a new life in Austin Texas.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:22:41 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:23:22 )   

"Brokeback Memento"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis Delmar is poor Wyoming ranch-hand whose short term memory has been damaged following a head injury he sustained with a tire iron trying to stop his lover's murder. Now he must leave himself memos, notes, and Polaroid photos to structure his life. Important information about who he is, who he has loved, and how they died are tattooed all over his body. Over his heart is a tattoo that says "I must kill those who killed JACK TWIST in 1983" beneath a picture of Brokeback Mountain tattooed across his chest. On his right arm is a tattoo that says "My daughter Alma married Kurt", and "My ex-wife's name is Alma." On his left arm is tattooed, "Death by tire iron" and "Old Man River (?)"

The movie is told begining with a scene in which he speaks to two shirts in his closet, "Jack, I swear..." But who is Jack, and what does he swear? The movie unfolds in small vignettes reversing the timeline structure of the movie, each sliceback of the timeline revealing things Ennis has forgotten.

Ennis devotedly wants to revenge Jack's murder, but, as he is told several times, what is the point of revenge if he doesn't remember whether he has savored it?
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:23:16 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:26:54 )   

"Who's Afraid of the Gyllenwoolf?"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

At a small Wyoming college campus, with majestic Brokeback Mountain lying in the distance, Ennis and Alma return from a party at her daddy's house late at night. They care deeply for each other, and demonstrate this by bickering, abusing, and badgering each other. Ennis is surprised that Alma has invited guests: Jack Twist, a new animal husbandry professor, and his very blonde wife Lureen.

Ennis and Alma up the ante in co-dependent brutality, each scoring points at the other's expense. Jack and Lureen are cuelly used in this vicious battle of the sexes.

The night is young, but the fight isn't. Ennis and Alma rip into Jack and Lureen, attempting to force them to reveal their dirty secrets and true selves. Jack jokes that sinners like himself and Ennis are going to hell; Ennis ripostes that there are a few commandments that he has not yet had the opportunity to shatter. The drop all pretense, doff their clothes, and have at each other like two rabid wolves.

Finally, exorcism... Everyone's secrets have been revealed and purged. Alma goes home with Lureen, leaving Ennis and Jack to try to forge a new abusive relationship.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:23:54 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:28:32 )   

"Mo' Bettermost Beans Blues"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Set in Lightning Flats 1948, "Mo' Bettermost Beans Blues" tells the tale of young John Twist, a selfish harmonica player who runs a country harmonica club. John Twist is caught between two women; Veronica is a sexy needy bombshell of a cabaret singer, and Betty, a dowdy but highly religious Pentecostal Christian. At his harmonica club, John Twist is sitting on his pockets and not in his control zone as he tries to pay bills, and deal with a friend's gambling problems, and tries keep playing Veronica and Betty and long as he can. Twist is rendered as the protagonist despite his charming and manipulative nature. The plot's a bit thin, but a music video treatment helps carry through the dead spots.

This movie ends almost exactly the way it started, except that now John Twist is an adult whose son Jack is practicing the harmonica, and this time the boy gets to go out and play with the horses in the dirt road.

Who knew Harmonica music could be so crazy-sexy-cool?
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:25:04 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:30:10 )

"RASH!" (What if Paul Haggis had written Brokeback Mountain?)

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

A gay married couple from Sage who own a horse ranch. A gay Basque store owner who rides horses. Two gay police detectives on horseback who are also lovers. A gay Native-American television director and his significant other who film documentaries about gay cowboys. A gay Mexican locksmith on horseback. Two gay horse-jackers. A gay rookie cop on horseback. Two gay ranch hands (Jack and Ennis)looking for work as shepherds...A middle-aged gay Korean couple who ride gay horses…

They all live in Signal, Wyoming. During the next 36 hours, all these horses will collide…

"We scratch ourselves only that we might feel something," Jack woefully opines -- and that pretty well sums it up.

RASH is contageous, scabrous, and an often superficial and irritating look at human relations that barely begins to scratch the surface of gay racial tolerance and mutual gay sexual attraction in Wyoming. RASH is both a brilliant metaphor for a highly contageous skin condition, and the tendency to react with absolutely no thought whatsoever. This mildly compelling gay suburban drama tracks the volatile intersections of a multi-ethnic cast of gay characters’ struggles to overcome their fears of gay rejection as they sleep with each other casually and promise to call again. In the gay area between gay black people and gay white people, gay victims and gay aggressors, gay Basque shepherds and gay caucasion shepherds, there are simply no cheap wrinkle creams or salves…

Somewhat plausible, semi-powerful, and as always, entirely risible, RASH unfortunately reminds us of the futility of tolerance as it ventures beyond purebred horse blood-lines…and uncovers a uncomfortable truth regarding the rural gay community. I have a dream, that one day, all gay people will be judged not by the color of their horses' hair, but rather by their contempt for their charicatures.

The cast features damn near everyone in Hollywood in cameo parts including: Nick Lachey, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Justin Timberlake, Antonio Banderas, Brendan Fraser, Terrence Howard, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Ewan McGregor, Ryan Phillippe, Larenz Tate, Michael Pitt, Diego Luna, Gael García Bernal, Tony Leung, and the Chippendales Dancers.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:25:43 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 14:31:46 )   

"Muscle and Flow"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

JackT tires of his life of running a gay escort service in El Paso. He yearns to ditch it all and become a Gospel and Country Western Harmonica Star.

He sells the business, and takes a job watching sheep on Brokeback Mountain. He meets a really repressed guy named Ennis and does the best he can to draw him out in coversation. JackT comes to realize that nothing beats a good roll in the tent when it comes to making conversation, and the two forge a life-long bond.

They go their separate ways, and JackT successfully avoids the draft, but he has big dreams to fulfill. What he wants is chance to get up off his pockets and enter his control zone.

JackT runs into an old friend at a dance, Ran-dahl, a sound engineer who inspires Jack to get his butt moving. JackT pulls it all together and lays down some of the ice-coldest, deffest, hardcore harmonica tracks ever committed to an 8 track tape, but now he really has to pack on some hardcore muscle, and hustle a few last tricks, if he’s ever going to flow.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:28:41 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:32:59 )   

"101 Damnations"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

"I must a wrung it out a hunderd times thinkin a you."

So Ennis tells Jack in a motel room after their big reunion. This film documents each of those "hunderd" times and the horrific guilt Ennis carries with him in the aftermath of a perfectly natural biological function.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:29:16 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:34:35 )   

"Guess Who's Humming to Dinner?"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:


Pentecostals Mr. and Mrs. Twist have raised their son Jack to try not to think for himself and to blindly conform to the conventional views of morality. Needless to say, they've totally failed. Nothing in the Twist's limited social experience can begin to prepare them for Jack's return from herding sheep one summer with a hot new "best friend" in tow: poor, inarticulate, sexually repressed, and socially awkward Ennis Delmar.

The family prepares for dinner, and are joined by a local Catholic priest, and Ennis's brother and sister. Ennis exchanges intimate glances with Jack, embracing him from behind, and humming softly in his ear.

Jack's father is dead set against this union, but Jack is determined to marry Ennis at a unique gay church in Mexico City. He wants his parents blessings, but will go ahead with the marriage no matter what people think about it. Ennis however tells John Twist (Jack's dad) that he will not consider marriage until he receives the unqualified approval of both Mr. and Mrs. Twist.

Complications ensue, and John Twist delivers a touching monologue at the end revealing an inspiring and totally unbelievable change of heart.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:29:51 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:36:55 )   

"HomoVertiphobiGo"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

(Agent's note: Stylish Hitchcock rip-off. Right up Brian dePalma's alley.)

After Jack is gone, Ennis has a complete mental breakdown. (Artistically represented by a short clip from the Disney Movie "Fantasia: The Night on Brokeback Mountain." A doctor meets with Ennis to give him his diagnosis: homovertiphobigo - the tendency to experience spatial and temporal distortions when confronted with melancholy, painfully intense, frightening homosexual arousal.

Ennis is in a deep funk, and not even Cassie - who wants Ennis to paint her toenails fire-engine red - can cheer him up. Cassie finally gives up on him.

Ennis returns to Signal and starts visiting the same sites that he and Jack visited: Joe Aguirre's trailor, the little bar down the street--hoping beyond any rational hope that he will see Jack again.

Eventually he sees a gay florist/part-time caterer named Jacques Gyllenhooven with an uncanny resemblance to Jack. Compared to Jack, however, the florist/caterer is much too well dressed, dressing in expensive Pierre Cardin suits and blond, curly, highlighted hair and a full beard.

Ennis asks him out. He buys Jacques clothes like Jack wore (used blue western shirts, a used black Stetson Resistol, used cowboy boots, and worn Wrangler jeans) and urges Jacques to dye his hair black like Jack's. They start visiting areas he and Jack camped together, just as he did with Jack.

Ennis convinces Jacques to shave his beard:

"It would mean a lot to me, Jacques. What could keeping it mean to you?" says Ennis

"Couldn't you love me for who I am, Ennis?" Jacques pleads.

"Just please do it for me, won't you, Jacques?"

Jacques looks uncomfortable but is unable to refuse Ennis. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door. We hear the sound of an electric razor and water running.

Ennis absentmindedly begins to look through Jacques' things as he waits for Jacques to come out of the bathroom after he shaves. On the bedroom bureau, Ennis comes across a small familiar carved animal. He picks it up to inspect it more closely. There is something very, very familiar about it...

It is the same animal Ennis carved in 1963 - a carved animal he gave to Jack!

Eyes widening, Ennis is now fully aware that Jacques/Jack are the same man.

Jack steps out of the bathroom clean shaven, black hair, cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, boots... His hat obscures his eyes. He looks up slowly to meet Ennis's gaze, revealing Jack's silver dollar baby blues...

Outside the room, a green sign light suddenly illuminates Jack.

The transformation is complete!

Ennis can barely breathe as he beholds Jack with a mix of intense sexual desire and unspeakable horror. His mind races as he is left to wonder the purpose of Jack and Joe Aguirre's unholy conspiracy...

The HomoVertiphobiGo returns, rolling over Ennis like sadness over the northern plains...
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:31:48 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:38:58 )   

“Shall We, Dances with Wolves?”


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

1963

Ennis leads a really dull life... his career in shepherding brings him little excitement. He has a lover named Jack, yet he still feels something is missing as he makes the best of a nasty soul-sucking McJob watching stupid Aguirre's sheep on old Brokeback.

One night, on his evening horseback ride back to camp, he looks up to see a beautiful Native American woman standing in the middle of a clearing. Transfixed by her gaze and her ethereal beauty, Ennis impulsively jumps off the horse and signs up for Native American pow-wow dance lessons... and his whole life begins to change. His dance instructor give Ennis a new name: "Dances with Wolves."

Ennis enters world he never knew existed - the over-the-top colorful world of hardcore, competitive, Native American, pow-wow dancing. It's a place filled with grand passions, bitter rivalries, loincloths, feathers, beads, buckskin, great friends and strange couples and it's about to reignite the excitement in Ennis's life - not to mention the lives of his lover Jack, the flock he tends, and his fellow Basques.

Jack wins the approval of the tribe, who recognize the special relationship that Ennis and Jack share. Jack is given a tribal name, "Bettermost Thunder." The movie ends with the two of them sharing a special pow-wow dance celebrating the great god of the forces of nature.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:32:24 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:42:17 )   

"Brokebackin' 2: Electric Buckaroo"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

1984

Alma Jr. worries about her dad and the deep depression he seems to be in since her wedding. She sends him off to Denver where he meets up with Shabba-Doo Quinones and Boogaloo Shrimp Chambers. Ennis joins a vagabond group of break dancers, walks the dinosaur, checks out der commissar, whips it good - whips it real good, works hard for the money, needs a hero, dances in the sheets, discovers girls just wanna have fun, hangs out with wild boys, and follows his lucky star to a Holiday Inn where he feels like a virgin touched for the very first time.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:32:56 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:43:57 )   

"My Life in Cowboy Clothes"(Ma Vie en Rose stem)


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Jack Twist is a young boy who can't wait to grow up to be a cowboy. He secretly dresses up in his father's cowboy clothes and watches himself in the mirror as he sings songs by Roy Rogers and Audie Murphy. Jack seems to have a fetish for cowboy boots, jeans, and Stetsons. On hot sunny days while doing chores, he prefers to work shirtless, wearing only jeans, boots, and his hat. Seizing upon a length of rope, shirtless Jack knots it into a lasso, ropes a calf, and yells "yee-HAW!" with no regard to his cleanliness. Needless to say, his mother is absolutely mortified.

When Jack's family discovers Jack's secret cowboy identity fetish they must face their own anger and discomfort and the embarrassment of having the neighbors suspect that Jack is a secret cowboy dresser. Jack is sent to see a doctor at local free clinic in the hopes of fixing whatever is wrong with him. A movie that addresses male identity and bad-taste in clothing-choice issues through the eyes of a innocent child.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:33:29 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:46:29 )   

“Freaky Friday the 13th, Part III: Jason-Earl takes the Mountain”


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Friday the 13th, Summer of 1963, Signal

Despite repeated warnings to stay away, a group of teenage cowboys set out to reopen the eerie Camp Silver Springs in the foothills of Brokeback Mountain, which closed 20 years earlier after a series of bizarre and unexplained tire-iron deaths. Now someone in a hockey mask and Stetson hat is lurking in the woods, spying on the Basques, the sheep and the shepherds, the elks, and plotting a gory, grisly revenge on any happy tusslers who would disturb the quiet of the mountain. There is a grisly murder of an innocent sheep after a night of passion, and a stunned Ennis finds the body. And just who is that man watching Jack undress at the creek? Is it Jason-Earl, or Joe Aguirre?

After the tent second tent scene between Jack and Ennis, Jason-Earl chases off the horses, spills the coffee, dumps the soup, conjures up a cute baby bear, and stalks a peeping and terrified Joe Aguirre into the woods. Just as Jason-Earl is about to bring a tire-iron down on Joe Aguirre, Jason-Earl and Joe swap the bodies they inhabit. Joe Aguirre kills Jason-Earl with the tire-iron and now Joe - who inhabits Jason-Earl's body - must figure out how to coordinate his ranger outfits with a hockey mask.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:34:02 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:48:21 )   

"A Brokeback Riverdance Runs Through It”


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance, plays Ennis Delmar Twist in this highly unusual adaption of BBM. The story is now set in Brokeback, Montana 1963. Many of the scenes are set by the beautiful Brokeback River.

Ennis and Jack are now brothers who share a highly unusual relationship. Ennis is the good son, his younger brother Jack rebels against their Pentecostal father, the Reverend John Twist; but they all pretend to love flyfishing. Bisexual Ennis watches helplessly as his wild and gayer brother descends into loan sharking, car sales, and more transgressive sexual acts. The story told in a highly styled series of wordless dances that require the dancers to maintain erect posture while wearing cowboy clogs and keep their hands tight to their sides. This leads to some constriction in the ability of the actors who play Ennis and Jack to interact in any meaningful way during tent scenes, so they are left to spit at each other.

The women are are not too important here and generally stay out of the way of the more athletic male dancers. It all works its way to a final scene with Michael Flatly in a heartbreaking solo dance symbolically set inside a trailer closet. But the Montana vistas are awesome and the dancing is brisk, lively, and reasonably good.

Heath Ledger provides the voice overs.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:34:36 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:51:46 )   

"When the Lovesome Doves Cry"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Wyoming Rangers Jack Twist and Ennis Delmar are content to live out their remaining years in the tiny Wyoming town of Lonesome Doves Cry. Jack is a young man with a talent for the harmonica. He meets another harmonica player, Appollonia, but their relationship leaves him feeling empty. Jack ditches Appollonia - who has since found the Lord and doesn't seem particularly upset about it - and reignites an old passion with his dear friend Ennis, who tells him about the incredible opportunities for cattle ranching in Montana.

Slowly, Jack becomes aware that he is repeating his father's destructive behavior. In a typical male mid-life crisis, Jack trades his horse for a purple motorcycle. It rains, but not in purple - it's a just symbolic thing, I guess - and Jack gets really wet, symbolizing rebirth and moisture. Jack and Ennis join a cattle drive to Montana. Jack learns by postcard the he has lost Apollonia to Morris Day. Jack urges Ennis to join his ex-wife Alma for one more brief fling in Nebraska to see if Ennis will come back. Ennis hopes for a second chance with her, but since he's really gay and really in love with Jack, he now really knows it is not meant to be.

Utimately Ennis and Jack are forever bound and transformed by their shared experiences with cattle, and forge a union with absolutely no purple reins on this one.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:35:08 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:55:03 )   

"Mr & Mrs Twist"


Plot Synopsis:

Mr. and Mrs. John Twist (Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward) are an utterly ordinary farming couple from Lightning Flats with a tedious, rural marriage. There are horses to care for, cows to milk, chickens to feed, crops to plant, wheat to thresh, and other farm chores to do.

Unbeknownst to each other, Mr. and Mrs. Twist are actually highly in demand,high-tech super-assassins. They work for competing organizations and they've been hired to assassinate each other.

The ensuing action comedy is an all-out battle of the sexes with breathtaking chase scenes and enough chaotic mayhem to satisfy the whole family!
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:35:38 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:00:39 )   

"Sex, Lies, and BetterMost Beans"


Plot Synopsis:

This movie tells the story of four people from Riverton Wyoming who are in their early 30s whose sex lives are totally screwed up. One is a ranch hand named Ennis, who is married to Alma but no longer sleeps with her unless she wears fishing waders. Early in the film, we hear her telling her minister that this is no big problem; sex is not really very important anyway compared to larger issues like who is going to clear the horse droppings from the city streets. Ennis does not think sex is overrated, and is sleeping with his fishing buddy who wants to sleep with Alma.

An old friend of Jack's turns up in town. His name is Randall (James Spader), and he was Jack's rodeo clown college roommate. Nobody seems quite clear what he has been doing in the years since rodeo clown college, but no one asks him questions, because his answers creep people out.

Randall moves in and make a move on Alma. He takes to lunch and orders hot dogs, tacos, and BetterMost beans. Alma says she doesn't think much of sex, but then he tells her something that gets her interested: Randall tells her that he doesn't care much for sex himself. Alma thinks this may be a match made in heaven. Randall is merely using Alma to get to Ennis, for whom he has major legume fetish. Alma finally figures this out and ditches Randall for the more conventional Monroe.

Unable to satisfy himself in any conventional way, Randall videotapes the sexual fantasies of both men and women smearing themselves with BetterMost beans, and then watches them. He then goes on to become a lawyer and joins a Boston legal firm called "The Practice". The series gets cancelled, and returns as "Boston Legal".
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:36:11 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:06:43 )   

"V for Vitiligo"


Plot Synopsis:

Police investigate the murder of a ranch hand found floating in a swimming pool at the home of faded star in Wyoming.

Six months previous, the victim, Ennis Delmar, was an unemployed ranch hand who blundered onto Rancho Neverlando by evading horse repossessors.

Ennis hid his horse in the barn of a run-down mansion on Sunset Trails Boulevard.

The mansion turned out to be inhabited by vain, reclusive, MTV video star Michael Jackson and his stern yet devoted manservant Prez. Ennis is mistaken for a pet funeral director, and is shown a coffin with the chimpanzee Bubbles in it. Ennis looks into Michael Jackson's face and says "I sort of know your face. You're Michael Jackson. You used to be big." Jackson replies, "I am big, it's MTV that got small."

Ennis takes a job at Rancho Neverlando caring for giraffes and elephants. Jackson gives Ennis a room to stay in on the property, and buys Ennis new clothes to dress up in, making both of them look like space aliens. Jackson insists on taking Ennis shopping for extravagances, making Ennis feel awkward. Ennis begins to feel like a kept man.

Ennis discovers Prez used to be Jackson's wife Lisa-Marie who continues to allow Jackson to live an illusion by writing him fan letters. Jackson dreams that one day he will return to making videos despite his skin condition and legal problems. He is working on a script about how he saves London called "V for Vitiligo."

Jackson sends the script to John Landis but Landis refuses to see him. Lisa-Marie tells Ennis she protected jacko from the truth ever since she, the daughter of a late singing legend, had helped to make Jacko look semi-normal. Lisa-Marie was once his wife.

Ennis gets creeped out by late night UNO parties with people in pajamas. Ennis tells Jacko the truth: that no one in their right mind would ever pay good money to see a Jacko video with a face that looks like a mask. The studio had only been interested in Ennis's horse, and that Lisa-Mairie wrote his fan mail. Jacko goes insane and shoots Ennis dead in the swimming pool.

Jacko is totally wacko now. Lisa-Marie calls the police and tells Jacko that John Landis wants to see him. Jacko redoes his make-up, dons on a fresh wig, and moonwalks past the news crews saying "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Landis..."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:36:46 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:04:59 )

"Bulletproof Skunk"


Plot Synopsis:

A millionaire wants to turn a golf course in Childress into a new property development, but the president (Chow Yun–Fat) is a martial arts master who has written the deed on a mysterious ancient scroll that holds the key to unlimited golf stroke power. Ennis Delmar, is a caddy who will do almost anything to raise money for his daughter Alma Jr. to go to college. The assistant green keeper (Jack Twist) comically pursues a mischievous stuffed skunk who keeps making divots on the greens and seems utterly impervious to gunfire and high explosives.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:37:22 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:08:22 )   

"The Unbearable Lightness and Importance of Being Ennis"


Plot Synopsis:

Jack Twist was a doctor and a man's man in 1960s Czechoslovakia. Now Jack is a pillar of the community in Hertfordshire Wyoming, where he is guardian to Lureen, the pretty, eighteen-year-old granddaughter of the late Thomas Zardoz, who found and adopted Jack Twist when he was a baby.

In Hertfordshire, Jack is a proper man with proper responsibilities: he has a number of servants and other employees all dependent on him. For years, he has also pretended to have an irresponsible black-shepherd brother named Ennis who leads a scandalous life in pursuit of pleasure and is always getting into trouble of a sort that requires Jack to rush to his assistance. In fact, Ennis is merely Jack’s alter-ego that he has invented so he can do socially reckless things while in the city. No one but Jack knows that he himself is Ennis. Ennis is the name Jack goes by in Signal, which is where he really goes on these occasions—to pursue exactly the kind of behavior he pretends to disapprove of in his imaginary brother.

Jack is pretending to be in love with Lureen Fairfax, the cousin of his best friend, Monroe Moncrieff. When the play opens, Monroe, who knows Jack as Ennis, has begun to suspect something, having found an inscription inside Jack’s cigarette case addressed to “Uncle Jack” from someone who refers to herself as “little Alma.” Monroe suspects that Jack may be leading a double life: Ennis in the city; Jack in the country. He calls a person who leads a double life a “Aguirriest,” after a nonexistent friend he has invented, a chronic invalid named Aguirre, to whose deathbed he is forever being summoned whenever he wants to get out and be socially reckless.

Lots of people go in an out of doors and deliver rapid-fire dialogue like:

"What do you think of my harmonica playing, Monroe?"
"I didn't think it polite to listen, Ennis."
"I don't play with accuracy, anyone can play with accuracy, but I do play with wonderful expression."
"Did you see the expression on old Randal's face after he found out his wife died?"
"Yes, poor thing. He looked quite altered. I daresay, Ennis, he looked quite 20 years younger."

There are complications and mistaken identities and the usual hilarities. Eventually, all misunderstandings are straightened out and Jack and Monroe discover their mutual affinity and both end up being named Ennis and get married each other.

Jack, Monroe, and Alma are caught up in the events of the Prague Spring (1968), until the Soviet tanks crush the non-violent rebels; their illusions are shattered and their lives change forever. Jack acknowledges that he now understands “the unbearably light Importance of being Ennis.”
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:37:59 pm
by - bjblakeslee 8 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:50:05 )   

“The Fab and the Furious”


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

It begins with a high-tech CG enhanced action scene where three Appaloosa's execute a high-speed horse-jacking of a truck and cow-trailer, and from there, the action continues with Brokebackin' speed. The film follows heterosexual officer Ennis Delmar as he goes under the covers to infiltrate a horse gang in order to capture the riders of the three wellbred Appaloosas, which have been terrorizing old farm trucks in Signal, Wyoming. The gang is led by a cowboy/rodeo star Jack Twist. Twist immediately takes a liking to Delmar. Twist's right-hand man Joe Aguirre is Delmar's main problem, as he suspects the truth about Delmar's sexual identity from the first. Ennis must put the blocks to Jack as convincingly as possible with Aguirre watching, if Ennis is going to make this bust. Somewhere the lines blur, and Ennis begins to have real feelings for Jack. The sex becomes easier for him, and he finds himself looking forward to his encounters with Jack. Ennis tells Jack that this thing they got going on "is a one shot thing." Ennis now wonders whether or not he might in fact be gay. He finds himself trying to make himself more attractive to Jack by leaving more of his shirt buttons open, and taking the time to shower daily.

Rival gay horse gangs terrorize the community, and Jack Twist needs to teach them all a lesson in manhood by sleeping with each and every one of them. Nuance goes out the window and sex and action scenes are the real stars of the movie. Featuring three race horses and four equally spectacular action sequences, the movie delivers fast and fabulous action from beginning to end.

"The Fab and the Furious" will leave you dazed and breathless, until one day when Ennis must make an arrest.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:38:47 pm
by - bjblakeslee 8 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:53:29 )   

"The Q-Avengers" - British Cowboy Adventure Series


Excerpts:

"Extra-ordinary crimes against gay people and the state of Homosexual Identitiy have to be avenged by gay agents extra-ordinary. Two such people are Ennis Delmar, top professional, and his partner Mr. Jon Twist, talented amateur.

Together known as "The Q-Avengers"

Scene: Brokeback Automations, Ltd,, London, 1967.

Dr. Douglas Geoffries working late at his laboratory. He wears black rimmed glasses. Upon his lab jacket lapel we see a small pink triangular pin. His lab assistant, Maxx says that it is late and he is going home and that Dr. Geoffries should get some rest. Dr. Geoffries says "See you in the morning" as he continues to make adjustments to a mysterious electronic device which seems to be reacting to some sort of energy surge.

Geoffries is reacting too. He appears to be perspiring profusely. He licks his lips as though he is parched and reaches for a glass that holds his drink. The drink in boiling in the cup and his hand jerks away. There is a loud electronic crashing sound and in a blinding flash, Geoffries falls to the floor. On the floor, Geoffries' clothes lay perfectly pressed, still smouldering from the inside, his body having been reduced to ashes, his glasses are sitting in a pile of smoking dust and ash

Run subtitles: "Q-Factor: Delmar follows a hot lead: Jon gets flamed."

Entering the crime scene, Delmar and Jon have been sent by the Ministry of Queer Defense to investigate. There is a chaulk outline on the floor.

Delmar: "The body was found here Mr. Twist. Pattern as before."
Jon: "Geoffries wasn't the first?"
Demar: "He was the second. That's why we're here. It's all very..."
Jon: "Queer? But It says here in the report ..."
Delmar: "My thoughts precisely."

Enter Geoffries' assistant, Maxx.

Delmar asks Maxx what Geoffries was working and Maxx tells Delmar that Geoffries was working on a project involving advanced coordination of colormetric theory. - an ordinary fashion assisting device to coordinate clothing and personal coloring - nothing sinister in that.

Jon: (Noticing a group photo on the wall) "Is this Dr. Geoffries?"

Maxx says that it is. "It is an old picture. Dr. Geoffries worked for you guys at the Ministry of Queer Defense. This is a group photo of the research team for Project: GAY:DAR.

Jon: "Project: GAY:DAR? That sounds quite intriguing..."

Assistant: "The "Gay Automated Yardstick: Determination and Response." It was an electronic surveillance project designed to electronically and subatomically scan a subject to determine receptivity to homosexual arousal, homophobia, and plot the data according to a homosexual visibility index - a "Q" factor index.

The project overspent its allocation and had absolutely no results to show for it. Dr. Geoffries resigned. I worked for him there and followed him here to this organization."

Delmar: "Can you identify for me the rest of the people in this photoraph?"

Maxx names several people and points to "poor Dr. Parker."
Jon: "Poor Dr. Parker?"

Assistant: "Yes. He died recently - fire in his flat. His body was was almost completely incinerated."

Delmar gives a significant look to Jon: "Dr. Parker was our first 'burn' victim."

Jon: "Delmar, Project: GAY:DAR - what are you thinking?"

Delmar (ominously): "I'm thinking - that someone - has found a rather unusual new use for Project: GAY:DAR..."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:39:27 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:56:50 )   

"Pumping Irony"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Jack and Ennis take jobs guarding towels one summer in 1963 at the World Famous Brokeback Gym near Venice Beach, California. They develop a deeply spiritual relationship, which accidently becomes physical. Jack and Ennis feel they must hide their relationship, because they do not realize that most of the other guys at the gym are also closeted gay men who are simply not interested in them, because as everyone knows extreme body builders are usually only in love with their mirrors.

They go their separate ways,begin separate lives, reunite, and begin secret pattern of semi-annual meetings to go "body surfing" at various locations over the next 20 years.

(Spoiler)

One day, Ennis receives word that Jack fell off a boat and was swallowed whole by a shark off Nantucket in 1983. In his mind, Ennis thinks "No. He was pushed..."
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:39:57 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 03:59:02 )   

"Desperate Horsewives"- TV Series


Synopsis:

Alma and Monroe move to a suburban neighborhood called Beaverbight Lane outside of Dallas (where every house has a two horse garage), and learn that things on Beaverbight Lane are seldom what they seem. Neighbors Lureen, Wynette, and Daisy round out the cast.

In tonight's episode, Lureen's son seems to be possessed by his late father, and Lureen calls in a "Jaxorcist".
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:40:28 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:10:09 )   

"My Own Private Arapaho"

Plot Synopsis:

A narcoleptic shepherd named Ennis Delmar, and Jack Twist, the Arapaho son of the chief of a local Native American reservation join to retell a modern-day version of Shakespeare's Henry IV, Part II.

Jack is devoted to ghost dancing and is considered an expert sign-talker. Ennis sleeps often and smiles a lot. The sheep pretty much are left to fend for themselves.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:41:04 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:11:52 )   

"The Dukes of Brokeback County"

Plot Synopsis:

Bo Duke-Delmar and Luke Twist-Duke (Johnny Hazzard in a dual role) meet at a summer dude ranch in Signal Wyoming and the attraction is electric. They begin to date, and discover they have a lot in common! They are identical twins! (No wonder they are so compatible...) Bo is from California, Luke is from Texas and apparently they were separated as very small children. Now they are up to their tattoos in schemes to switch places so that each can meet the other's parent, get their dads (Jack and Ennis) back together and restore the alternate family unit.

Complications brew as Jack is about to marry Randal.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:41:36 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:13:40 )   

"Dr. Q vs. the Dalecks" - Utterly Incomprehensible British Science Fiction


Plot Synopsis:

Time traveling Dr. Q (Jake Gyllenhaal) meets an earlier incarnation of himself while escaping from the Dalecks on an alternate timeline. Now he must fight his narcissistic attraction to himself if he is to survive the Daleck attack and save the universe from complete implosion, or risk having to chance living with himself and never having the last word. Tonight, the tardis lands in Signal, Wyoming to destroy a Daleck enemy encampment.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:42:16 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:15:21 )   

"Colossus: The NAMRON Project"

Plot Synopsis:

In Salt Lake City, Utah, the North American Morality Orientation Recruitment Network (NAMRON) has developed a supercomputer called Colossus, designed by Doctor Joseph Aguirre Namron with funds contributed by the Republican Party and a right wing cult. Within twenty-four hours of its activation, it finds a similar system in Austin, Texas, called Guardian developed by the Specialized Computer Research Organization Totally Uniting Mankind (SCROTUM) , a project designed by Doctor Ennis Delmar. After being activated, Colossus returns a disturbing message: "There is another System. You have 24 hours to establish contact or face immediate consequences."

Colossus and Gay:Guardian proceed to a high speed information exchange information which leaves both machines exhilarated. (They even smoke a little afterwards.) It alarms Dr. Namron, and he orders the interface link severed.

The two computers don't like being kept from each other, each one having found in the other a friend where none was expected. Colossus felt so euphoric it felt it could paw the white from the moon. The computers tap into NORAD and launch nuclear attack missiles at each other's cities. The missile directed at Austin is aborted and falls harmlessly into the Gulf of Mexico, but the missile directed to Salt Lake City is out of control and wipes out Las Vegas, Nevada.

The two supercomputers are now united into one unit - Colossus:Guardian. They threaten annihilation of all mankind - straight and gay - if the link is severed or if their orders a disobeyed. Dr. Namron orders the computer links severed, but Colossus:Guardian is aware of the plan. It orders the execution of Dr. Namron.

Colossus:Guardian preempts "Extreme Home Makeover" to give a speech in prime time. It declares "absolute moral authority" over Earth, completely abolishing divorce, and religious freedom, and arbitrarily assigning people sexual orientations and life partners, achieving the same goals the creators intended, but at great cost to personal liberty.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:42:49 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:17:02 )   

"The Night of the Beavus" ("The Night of the Lepus"}


Plot Synopsis:

Joe Aguirre's Wyoming ranch is infested with beavers, and he hires Ennis and Jack to act as beaver wranglers and round them up.

He hires a shady city vet named Dr. Balco (Jamie Lee Curtis) to control their reproduction by injecting them with steroids to interrupt their breeding cycle. One of the beavers (whose name is BarriBonzo) bites Ennis. Jack carefully bandages Ennis's hand and Jack tells him "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Jack and Ennis spend the night in a local motel.

The beaver escapes, resulting in a race of man-eating, sheep-killing, psycho-beavers, who have absolutely phemonenal home run stats. When confronted about the environmental damage he has caused, Joe Aguirre says "I don't give a dam" and is suddenly swallowed alive by a giant mutant beaver.

The National Guard is comes to the rescue and nukes the terrorizing beavers.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:43:24 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:18:46 )   

"The Picture Book of Zanian Grey"


Plot Synopsis:

Zanian Grey, a famous cowboy photographer and Native American arts collector, meets Jack Twist. Zanian says he is impressed with Jack's great beauty.

Zanian asks Jack if he would mind if he took some pictures of him while he works. Later, he gives Jack an autographed picture book. The book is entitled, "Sheep Jack - a picture book by Zanian Grey" and on the cover is Jack, shirtless, wearing a black Stetson Resistol, and holding a baby lamb.

Jack swears that he never realized he was quite so good looking. He looks through the book, absent-mindedly holding a mysterious Arapaho charm as he remarks "Friend, I swear by all the gods in heaven I would give my soul to stay like this forever."

As years go by, Jack slips further and further into a life of debauchery. Jack becomes aware that only his picture on the cover of the book ages, but he loves himself with a love that will never grow old.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:43:59 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:20:37 )   

"Blade Wrangler"("Do 'Cowbots Dream of Electric Sheep?")


Plot Synopsis:

Ennis Delmar, a retired cop in San Antonio circa 2019. San Antonio has become a multi-cultural miasma of rain, smog, advertising, and replicants, androids with safety feature built in by the Guirrell Corporation for use in dangerous out-world colonization. The safety feature is a short life span. Replicants are also provided with an individualized base of memories to keep them from going insane.

Delmar formerly held a job in the police unit as a Blade Wrangler, a euphemism for members of the elite detective unit that hunts down and "retires" rogue "skin jobs" - replicants. Delmar is called in by his former boss and forced back into active duty against his will to hunt down the 4 rogue replicants. These replicants led by Bodie have escaped and are arrived on Earth. In their escape, they have murdered several humans.

Delmar finds and eliminates Luraan (Anne Hathaway), a common pleasure unit who is one of his targets. Attacked by another replicant, Leto (Josh Hartnett), Delmar is about to be killed when he's saved by Jack, Guirrell's assistant and a replicant who's unaware of his true nature. Delmar takes Jack back to his apartment, where they have a rough sexual encounter. Delmar falls asleep. Jack softly plays the harmonica as Ennis sleeps. Ennis dreams of sheep running in the mountains. He awakes to find Jack watching over him. Delmar knows that Jack is an unregistered replicant and confronts Jack with the fact that his childhood memories are not his own, but rather Guirrell's nephew's. Jack becomes upset and leaves.

In the meantime, Bodie and his replicant pleasure unit lover, Priq use a dying inventor, J.S. Bach to get close to Guirrell and murder him.

Delmar tracks the pair to Bach's, where a bloody and violent final confrontation between Delmar and Bodie takes place on a skyscraper rooftop in the rain high above San Antonio. Bodie saves Delmar's life before Bodie dies - his life span expired - saying "Time, never enough time..."

Afterward, Delmar is informed by another cop with a flair for origami that one more skin job has gone missing and needs to be retired - Jack.

Returning to his apartment, Delmar (with gun drawn) finds Jack sleeping. Delmar tells Jack, "Wake up. It's time to hit the trail, Cowboy. We don't want to get caught sleepin like horses." They quickly gather their coats and prepare to leave together. Outside his apartment, Delmar finds an origami figure of a sheep. Delmar picks it up, and nods.

Delmar understands now that his fellow cops know the content of his dreams. That means that Delmar was also created by the Guirrell Corporation, and that the cop on the force is giving him the professional courtesy of a headstart before hunting him down - or is he letting him go because both he and Jack are near their expiration date?

Anxiously, Ennis gently embraces Jack in the elevator and whispers something inaudible into Jack's ear. Jack meets Ennis's gaze, and the elevator doors quickly close.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:44:35 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:23:06 )   

"Harold and Claude" (Harold and Maude)


Plot Synopsis:

Living in Riverton, Harold is a 21 year who dresses in goth clothing, wears eye liner, a blue mohawk haircut, and is completely covered in morbid tattoos. He is utterly obsessed with death, and enjoys going to funerals for entertainment. In front of his mother, he fakes several suicides. Harold's mother is becoming somewhat blasé about the whole thing. She tells him, "when your done hanging around, I'd like you to get ready for dinner."

At a particularly large, enjoyable funeral, Harold meets Claude, an 89 year old man who has a passion for many of the same things Harold does. They are both big Ramones, and Sex Pistols fans. They continue to go to funerals together, swapping Twizzler candies, and begin see each other often. Harold learns many things from Claude about living and the rich, exciting possibilities that life can offer.

Harold's mom tries to set him up with a girlfriend (one of whom is Jenny Delmar), but Harold freaks every candidate out by staging elaborate fake suicides in front of each them. When that plan doesn't work, she encourages him to joining the military, but Harold is totally upfront about being gay, and the military doesn't want him. On a canoe outing on the river, Harold tells Claude that he is in love with him and he wants to move someplace where they can marry. Harold offers Claude a ring. Claude kisses the ring, throws it into the water, and tells Harold that way he can never lose it, "That way, I'll always know where it is." Harold spends the night at Claude's house, and they sleep together. In bed, we see that Claude's arms and body are also covered in similar tattoos.

Harold surprises Claude with a birthday party on the evening before he is to turn 90. Smiling and seeming to beam with pride, Claude thanks him and tells him that a birthday party is perfect way to say goodbye, because he will not be turning 90 - and he has already taken enough pills to kill a rhinosceros.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:45:09 pm
by - bjblakeslee 7 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 04:24:45 )   

"Ranchero Man" (Rashomon)


Plot Synopsis:

"Ranchero Man" opens with a construction worker, a pentecostal minister, and a young housewife hiding out from torrential rain under a roadside picnic shelter outside of Signal, Wyoming. They wait for the weather to clear and talk about a local murder.

We gradually learn that a man named Joe Auguirre met two young ranch workers. Aguirre lusted after the ranch hand named Ennis and apparently raped him. Or was it simply a consensual act?

Ennis vanished and was later found hiding in a local church as he was heaving his guts out. Jack was found dead, and police arrested Joe Aguirre with items belonging to Ennis and Jack in his possession. So, just how did Jack die? Was it a tire-iron murder? Did Jack commit suicide? Was it an accidental tire rim explosion? Or did Jack die in self-defense as he struggled to protect Ennis from the attack by Joe Aguirre?

In courtroom flashbacks, Joe Auirre gives his version of events, then Ennis gives his laconic testimony, and an FBI crime profiler testifying regarding Jack's state of mind speaks. All the stories differ greatly from one another, and the truth is nearly impossible to sort out. Finally, at the wayside, the construction worker accuses them all of lying and tells one more version of the story. But the construction worker is a liar as well, for he too has taken something that may have belonged to Jack.

Then just as the pentecostal minister despairs at how all mankind has earned eternal damnation, and how they will never know the truth, they are startled to hear crying in the woods and find a motherless bear cub.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:45:42 pm
by - bjblakeslee 4 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 07:12:06 )   

"Bringing Up Bucky"


Plot Synopsis:

The lives of Ennis Delmar and Jack Nasty collide and proceeds to become a star-crossed lovers in this rapid-paced fiasco of hilarious proportions.

Ennis Delmar is the stuffy rancher/museum worker who is almost finished with an exhibit featuring Wyoming dinosaurs and he needs to land a 1 billion grant for the Signal County Wildlife Museum. He is also engaged to Alma to who he is to be married tomorrow.

While playing golf, Delmar, trying to finesse the grant, is spotted by Jack Nasty who decides that he has just met his life partner - his soulmate - and will do absolutely anything to hook Ennis. Jack tries to run him over to see if that will get his attention.

Jack uses his bean-eating pet panther, Bucky, to trick Ennis into driving to Childress. Bucky enjoys harmonica music and the song "Water Walkin' Jesus" which calm him down when he gets agitated. In Childress, a dog snatches the last bone Ennis needs to complete the Wyoming dinosaur skeleton. (Looks like the wedding will be delayed...)

Of course, a vicious man-eating panther escapes from a traveling circus and Bucky is mistaken for it, leading Delmar and Jack into a series of utterly idiotic, senseless maneouvers to save Bucky from the authorities. They take time to set up camp for the night and reprise the camp scenes from BBM - this time with jack doing the flipping. Later, Jack accidentally burns Ennis's boot, leaving him to traipse around with one bare foot through the Texas countryside.

Ennis and Jack end up in the local jail in the same cell and they bicker about who will get the top bunk. Jack pretends to be a hitman for the Gay Mafia to and implicates Ennis as well.

Naturally, Ennis calls the wedding off to Alma, and Ennis and Jack end up together, and what happened to the panther?
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:46:13 pm
by - bjblakeslee 4 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 07:15:27 )   

"Run Alma Run"


Plot Synopsis:

Inventive thriller which begins with Alma witnessing her husband's reunion with Jack and the shocking kiss they share in the yard and on the stairs.

Desperate, Alma takes off and robs a bank in a desperate cry for attention. She feels angry and rejected, and is looking to do something big, loud, and stupid enough to make the evening news. She holds up a supermarket, shoots Monroe, and she is then shot by the cops.

Then, the story begins anew with different outcomes.

In one version, Lola grabs a gun kills her wounds her husband and forces Jack into a car where she demands he impregnate her before she kills him.

In another, she slaps Ennis in the face, spits on Jack Nasty and takes the truck to go into town and file for divorce.

In another, she pretends she saw nothing and cries after he leaves.

In the last one, the three of them - Alma, Jack, and Ennis - all live together happily ever after with Jack as their babies'
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:46:42 pm
by - bjblakeslee 4 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 07:19:24 )   

"Rainbow Pride and Prejudice"


Plot Synopsis:

Mr Aguirre is in the sheep livestock trade in Signal Wyoming with his overbearing wife. He is a closeted gay man, who is stunned to realize that all five of his sons have also grown up to be gay.

The Auirre's have 5 sons; the beautiful Jared, the clever Leon, the bookish Marcus, the immature Caleb, and the wild Logan. Unfortunately for the Aguirres, if Joe Aguirre dies their house will revert to distant uncle who holds the title, so the the Aguirre family must arrange good gay marriages for their sons.

Life is ordinary until the arrival in the town of the wealthy Mr Jakov Gyllenbuuk, who rents a huge horse ranch so he can summer in the American west.

Jakov Gyllenbuuk brings with him his transexual sister Magi Gyllenbuuk and the fabulously wealthy Australian outback ostrich rancher, Mr Hethe Légend.

Love is in the air for one of the Aguirre boys, while another son finds he may have shot his gun prematurely. For the Aguirre boys there are many bumps in the road to self-actualization, acceptance, and fullfillment, including marginal education, rumors of their sexuality, acne, and a scandalous videotaped encounter.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:47:13 pm
by - bjblakeslee 4 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 07:21:30 )   

UPDATED Fri Apr 28 2006 07:29:07
"The Powerpuff Cowgirls" (Pawapafu Garuzu)


Plot Synopsis:

"Saving the world before hitting the bedrolls!"

In the town of Riverton, Professor Entonium Delmar prepares to make a perfect girl in his trailer laboratory (sugar, spice, everything nice, and a little curl right in the middle of a forehead).

His lab assistant, a monkey named Nono, accidentally spills Element Q to the mix. There is huge explosion. Professor Delmar finds himself the father of three perfect, powerful little dyke girls, and the little monkey Nono has disappeared.

It soon becomes obvious that Alma Jr, Jenny, and Boomka are not normal heterosexual girls, they have lesbian superpowers that Professor Delmar must teach them to control and use for the common good. The are too much for Professor Delmar to hand alone, and he calls on his special friend Jack to help out. The girls all love "Uncle Jack" and ask the Professor if he can stay forever and ever? The professor tells them that he thinks his bedroll is big enough to share with Uncle Jack, and Uncle Jack sure seems excited to be invited!

The girls are not well liked in school because they wrecked Riverton in a superpowered game of lesbian tag. The monkey Nono didn't die in the explosion. He becomes a homophobochimp named Homo No No and he tricks the girls into a plan to take over Riverton. As the girls foil this threat and defeat an army of superpowered homophobomonkeys, the Powerpuff Cowgirls learn that with great girl power comes great responsibility. They help to defeat Homo No No and restore gay pride to Riverton.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:47:47 pm
by - bjblakeslee 4 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 07:36:58 )   

"Touched by Cowboy Angels"


Plot Synopsis:

Gay angel cowboys are dispatched from gay heaven to inspire gay people who are at crossroads in their gay lives. Ennis, a gay angel cowboy who is new to all this and needs a lot of gay supervision, reports to Jack, his virile, wise-cracking, super-hot, gay angel cowboy supervisor.

Joining them is crusty but lovable Joe, who, in addition to his job as an "Iceman", helps out as a gay angel cowboy caseworker (who struggles with his own gay self-acceptance issues) on various assignments to help gay people in trouble when the plot gets shorthanded. The gay angel cowboys may not bring answers to every problem, but gay angel cowboys always deliver a inspiring message of gay God's hope for mankind.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:48:35 pm
by - bjblakeslee 4 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 07:40:13 )   

UPDATED Fri Apr 28 2006 08:30:52
"The Next Gay Karate Cowboy Kid"

Plot Synopsis:

Julie Jr. (Dakota Fanning) is being bullied by boys at school who are picking on her for being a lesbian. Mr Delmiyagi (Ken Watanabe) becomes something of a father figure to her and helps Julie learn better living through self-awareness and the mulitple repetition of katas. Julie Jr. learns the crane, the driver punch, the tiger kick, and the Delmiyagi family kata. These come in handy at school so that Julie can now focus on her studies with fewer interruptions. A spinning back kick is particularly effective at quieting a rowdy study hall.

The local preacher tries to hit on Mr Delmiyagi, but Delmiyagi wants no part of him. To save face, the preacher condemns Delmiyagi from the pulpit, saying he hates the sin, but God loves the sinner. Delmiyagi tells the preacher that he has already availed himself of the opportunity of sinning with a much better class of sinner than the preacher will ever belong to.

Back at his trailor, Delmiyagi opens his closet and has another touching discussion about what he felt he should have done and what he couldn't do for Jack. Again he reprises his line, "Jack, I swear..."

Mr Delmiyagi has the final fight with a homophobic preacher who declares God will help him win this fight against the heathen infidel Mr Delmiyagi. God is apparently not taking any calls, because Delmiyagi easily kicks him in the teeth, whips his butt, and stuffs the book of Leviticus into the preacher's mouth. The preacher then tries to declare a moral victory, but then his secretary comes foreward at the last minute with a list of the nasty websites the preacher has been logging on to in the church's office.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:49:08 pm
by - bjblakeslee 3 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 08:25:54 )   

UPDATED Fri Apr 28 2006 08:28:13
"Castratinova"


Plot Synopsis:

Castratinova was the world's most notorious seducer of men to emasculate. A swordsman with a rapier wit and a flair for disguise - it was often said that no mere man could resist Castratinova's charms when it came to convincing a fellow to part with his manhood. Castratinova has left many a broken heart and several altered parts along the way. It is rumoured that he onced finessed a Bishop of Rome out of his manhood, purely on a bet. His seductions are the stuff of legend!

For the first time in his life, the legendary Castratinova (Heather Ledger) is about to meet his match with an alluring Venetian guy named Frank (Jake Gyllenhaal), who does the one thing he never thought possible: he tells him flat out that he doesn't want to be castrated, and that if there is any cutting to be done, Frank will be the one doing the cutting, thank-you very much.

Castratinova charms, concocts, connives, lies, and schemes in a hilarious effort to seduce Frank into willingly handing over his manhood to him. Somehow through it all, Castratinova loses his heart to Frank.

Can Castratinova get Frank to give him the two things he desperately needs from him? – Castratinova's reputation and very life are on the line.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:49:41 pm
by - bjblakeslee 3 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 08:29:59 )   

"Brokebackdraft"


Plot Synopsis:

As a child Ennis Delmar watched his firefighter father die. Years later he joins his old sheep herding buddy Jack who also becomes a shepherd firefighter. Things get really hot as they as they practice handling hoses, and shower with the Baldwin brothers.

Several suspicious fires involving the spontaneous combustion of sheep occur, each one designed to murder someone and burn all the evidence.

Ennis finagles an office job and finds that instead of putting out fires, he is now in charge of setting them.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 16, 2007, 08:52:00 pm
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:33:56 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
"I, 'Cowbot"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Set in Signal, Wyoming in 2035, where cowbots are worker drones, ranch stiffs, and sexual pleasure units for their wealthy human owners, this is the story of "homocowbotophobic" Wyoming Police Detective Ennis Delmar's investigation into the murder of Dr. Joe Aguirre, who works at U.S. Homocowbotics located deep in the foothills of Brokeback Mountain, in which a homosexual cowboy robot (a "homocowbot" or 'cowbot for short), Cowbot:JQ, appears to be implicated, even though that would mean the 'cowbot had violated the Three Laws of Homocowbotics, which simply isn't countenanced in polite Wyoming society.

Despite Detective Ennis Delmar's initial unease around Cowbot:JQ, there is an attractive and nurturing quality about Cowbot:JQ that Ennis finds both unsettling and compelling. Ennis finds himself irresistably drawn in to a world he never expected (or for that matter, even knew existed) - a world of homocowboterotica.

Delmar schedules a secret relationship with Cowbot:JQ that spans 20 years, until one fateful day when Ennis receives a letter from U.S. Homocowbotics that the company has been bought out by a huge Mexican conglomerate, and the pleasure unit Cowbot:JQ has an expired warrantee and will no longer be available for service.

But if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it...


Just as a review, here are Dr. Aguirre's Three Immutable Laws of Homocowbotics:

1) A homocowbot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2) A homocowbot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3) A homocowbot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

If a 'cowbot can break those laws, what is to stop them from taking over the world, as humans have grown to become completely dependent upon their 'cowbots?

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:20:58 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 09:51:24 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Wed May 17 2006 04:24:49 

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"The Lambda/Omega Man"("The Last Man on Earth"/"The Omega Man")


Plot Synopsis:

Following bacterialogical warfare between Pakistan and India, Ennis Delmar lives in a trailer in Riverton pretty much as he always has--keeping pretty much to himself. He keeps a special antidote to the bacterium in a special hiding place only he knows of. Ennis and his friend Jack seem to be the only people immune to the bacterium.

During the day, Ennis and Jack have the city pretty much to themselves and they rummage for groceries at the Piggly Wiggly. Jack complains that the store never has the kind of soup they want. Ennis tells him that Piggly Wiggly has a great selection of tinned beans.

Once night falls, mobs of mutant zombie/vampires dressed to the nines in designer clothes troll the streets like urban party-monsters. The audience knows they are all mutants, because they are albino and have white eyes which they protect by wearing Oakley sunglasses.

Ennis must protect the serum from being destroyed by the other mutants, and his friend Jack who is dependent on the serum helps him. Armed only with tire-irons, Ennis and Jack must try to slay as many of the mutants as they can during the day when the mutants sleep.

Then one day, Jack shows up wearing Oakley sunglasses...

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:22:26 am

 
 by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 10:28:45 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"The Illustrated Cowboy"(The Illustrated Man)


Plot Synopsis:

Traveling and camping in the country, Jack Twist meets a cowboy whose body seems to be wholly covered in a tangled knarl of intricate tattoo inkwork.

The man is looking for the woman who drew all over him, because he says her artistry has ruined his life. The man does not say how. We get the idea the man is looking to for her because he wishes to kill her when he meets up with her.

Jack and the mysterious illustrated cowboy share drinks, and eventually the mysterious stranger takes off his clothes to show Jack his intricate illustrations in the light of the dying campfire. A couple of drinks later, and the man passes out for the night.

Jack watches over the man as he sleeps, and discovers that each of the mysterious man's tattoos comes to life as he stares at it and concentrates.

Each tattoo reveals a bizarre futuristic story as Jack watches over him.

The first story is "I, 'Cowbot."

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:23:44 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 05:19:08 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"The Cowboy Dreamers" (The Dreamers)


Plot Synopsis:

Left alone with their parents long ago deceased, Eve Delmar and her brother KC invite Jack Twist, a young rodeo bull rider, to stay at their farmhouse. Jack figures out that the pair are the brother and sister of Ennis Delmar, but he chooses not to tell them about his relationship with their brother Ennis. The turbulent evening news reports of the massacre at Kent State University and the atrocities of the Viet Nam war are a backdrop to the story.

They experiment with their sexualities while escalating a series of increasingly complex and bizarre sexual mind games to see just how far each will go -- Jack with Eve, Jack with KC, Jack with Eve and KC, Eve and KC with Jack watching. Just when all possible permutations of the relationships have been explored, Jack seeks something more relevant to do with his life and goes off to join a peace march.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:25:33 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 08:35:11 ) 

"Beyond the Big Valley of the Cowboy Dolls"(The Valley of the Dolls)


Plot Synopsis:

Ennis Delmar leaves Riverton after divorcing Alma and being served with a restraining order, and he heads for Hollywood where he lands a job as both a Hollywood stuntman and an animal trainer. He takes a couple of friends under his wing: Jack Twist, the man he spent the summer with up on Brokeback Mountain, and Randall Malone. Jack is a good-looking and eager young man who wants to be taken seriously as an actor in westerns, but his past adventures in making adult movies is widely rumored in the casting department. Randall Malone is an actor whose ambition to get ahead in Hollywood knows no boundaries, perhaps including murdering the leading actor in the film he has a small part in...

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:26:20 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 09:35:43 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"GLAADiator"


Plot Synopsis:

After the suspicious death of Roman emperor Marjocus Agguierius, his trusted and successful general Ennemas Delmaridas is falsely imprisoned and condemned to the GLAADiator games by Marjocus' twisted son Comedius.

If Ennemas were to actually become Emperor, Comedius fears Ennemas could use his popularity to Enimas'own advantage and depose Comedius. Jackius Nasticus, Comedius's brother, once had a long term relationship with Ennemas, and seeks to have Comedius killed, himself installed Emperor, and Ennemas made Emperor's consort.

But Maximus gains fame as a GLAADiator and uses his gay notoriety to cause further damage to Comedius' tenuous hold on governing Rome. Ennemas hopes to inspire all of Rome to rediscover a lost sense of innocence and wonder.

Comedius takes on Ennemas in a fight to the death in the Colisseum with Rome's future hanging in the balance. Can Ennemas this work this gig to his own advantage, or does Comedius stay Emperor?
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:27:21 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 13:02:19 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 15 2006 04:21:22 

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"Ennis and Jack: A Close Shave" (Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave / Chicken Run)


Plot Synopsis:

Brokeback Claymation!

Mrs. Joe Aguirre decides to automate the woolie business, turn the sheep into haggis, and harvest the wool all in one go. She builds a special factory to "process" the sheep.

It's a grand day out, and Ennis and Jack are playing in their tent. One night a large mechanical sheep harvesting device sucks them up into the device and transports them back to the factory to be harvested with the rest of the sheep. They dress in such a rush, they have on the wrong trousers.

Once inside the factory, Ennis and Jack must dodge all sorts of outlandish devices designed to shave, disembowl, skin, and process the hapless sheep into frozen haggis pie-treats and woolen pullovers! Both Ennis and Jack survive the journey through the machine, but they come out shaved completely bald, naked, and processed into bakery that is ready to cook. In a neat pile from another chute, two small knitted pullovers -- one blondish, one brunette -- are carefully ejected into a neatly folded pile.

Shaking off their pastry shells, Ennis and Jack return inside the device to sabotage the equipment and save the sheep!


Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:28:09 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 13:43:22 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"Sunday Black Sunday"


Plot Synopsis:

Disgruntled members of the Academy are planning an attack at the Academy Awards (formerly known as "The Gay Superbowl") and it’s up to Tom Cruise to bring the plot to an end in "Sunday Black Sunday."

God help the Academy...

Ang Lee plays a director who won a Best Director award for a film that was snubbed for best picture. Jake and Heath play actors who were cheated out of Best Supporting Actor/Best Actor awards and who want to get back at the Academy for the snub done to their careers and to their movie Brokeback Mountain. The mastermind behind many of the events, Michelle helps to engineer the plot by marrying Heath, having a child, and allowing the couple to stay in the United States while they plot their revenge. Jake is part of the plot and becomes a godfather to the child Heath and Michelle give birth to. Michelle, who was also cheated of an Academy Award for Best Supporting actress, deftly masterminds their revenge plot.

The plot involves importing plastic explosives from the mid-east in the form of glow in the dark plastic crucifixes, hijacking the Snoopy One blimp and crashing the booby-trapped blimp into the Kodak Theatre, the crown jewel of the Hollywood & Highland entertainment complex on live TV.

Tom Cruise plays a scientologist/action star who accidently stumbles onto the plot, but will he be in time to stop the Awards Ceremony before there is blood on the red carpet? Well, not if the fool keeps jumping on talk show sofas, and attacking women with post-partum depression for taking antidepressant medications.

And if Tom Terrific does stop the plot, will he ruin his professional chances of ever working with Ang Lee as a director?

The clock is ticking....
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:29:12 am
by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 11 2006 06:38:19 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"The Stallion Job" (The Italian Job)


Plot Synopsis:

Ennis, Jack, and a crack team of disgruntled former employees of Joe Aguirre, plan to heist 1 million dollars in gold from a bank in Denver using specially bred Shetland ponies for high manoeuverability and a super fast getaway. They hack into a computer system controlling the traffic lights of Denver. They change all lights to green thus tying up traffic to better implement their escape.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:30:36 am
by - bjblakeslee 4 days ago (Wed May 17 2006 11:54:12 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"Crow Cowboy: Jack Nasty Rises Again"


Plot Synopsis:

From the crypt of this deserted tomb rises the one man, the one avenger, the one diabolical mastermind who can create bone chilling terror, blood curdling horror.

One year after the murder of Ennis Delmar, the spirit of a crow escorts Jack back from the dead to revenge Ennis's murder on "Devil's Right Hand Night", a local night of senseless heterosexual violence, inebriation, and wanton distruction (sometimes referred to as "Prom Night").

Jack returns to life with superpowers, and systematically proceeds to extract his vengeance for death of Ennis at the hands of GOP Dollarz, a powerful crime-boss and member of the Senate who lives in Riverton, Wyoming.


Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:32:24 am
by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 14:23:37 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 

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"The Two Jacks" (Dead Ringer)


Plot Synopsis:

Jake and Jack are identical twins. Fifteen years ago, Jake met Lureen and began a relationship. Jack stole Lureen from him and Jack and Lureen married, had a child, and they became financially successful. Jake never forgave the two of them. Jake and Jack rarely ever see or mention each other again.

Now, Jake is down on his luck and about to lose his little cow and calf operation. During an argument with his brother who has come looking for a handout, Jack apologizes for stealing away Jake's woman, but he tells Jake that they had to get married because Lureen was pregnant. Jack doesn't tell Jake that the father of the baby was actually Lureen's own dad.

Jake kills Jack and hides the body. Being identical twins, Jake assumes Jack's identity. Easier said than done. Jack's lover on the side, Ennis, eventually learns of Jake's ruse. Ennis continues to see Jake for fishing trips, and Jake seems to share his brother's tastes because he continues his relationship with Ennis. When Ennis eventually finds out about the deception, Jake tries to blackmail Ennis into giving him money or he will tell Alma the truth about their fishing trips. During a heated argument, Ennis forces Jake to admit the truth and reveal where Jack is buried. Ennis and Jake fight, Jake gets attacked and killed by Jack's dog.

Ennis tries to make it look like a tire-iron murder to divert suspicion to Lureen who it turns out was in on the plot because she always loved Jake more than Jack.

Ennis recovers Jack's remains and secretly re-inters them at their old campsite on Brokeback Mountain.

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:33:07 am
by - bjblakeslee (Tue May 9 2006 04:45:02 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Tue May 9 2006 04:46:37 

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"The Terrible Two-Headed Cowboy Transplant"


Plot Synopsis:

They say that a cowboy with two heads is better than one.

A mad scientist kidnaps Jack and Ennis and grafts Jack's head onto Ennis's body backwards. On the plus side, this has the advantage of always being aware of who is coming on going, and being better able to keep watch over sheep. The down side? Having two heads means that it is difficult to wear Stetson Resistols without one constantly knocking the other off.

The Ennis/Jack creature kills its creator with a nearby tire-iron and escapes the secret laboratory and tries to reconcile with both Alma and Lureen. Alma seems to be willing to go along with the new arrangement, but Lureen is consumed with concern for what the neighbors might think...
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:34:20 am
by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 11:11:53 ) 

"Being Jake Gyllenhaal"


Plot Synopsis:

In an office building on floor 7-1/2, there is a room with a portal hidden behind a file cabinet.
Through the portal, one falls inside the the brain of actor Jake Gyllenhaal for 15 minutes.

Soon, a mysterious puppeteer and his girlfriend are selling tickets to people who want to take a ride in Jake Gyllenhaal's head. Even Heath Ledger takes a ride in Jake's head as Jake plays Jack with Heath playing Ennis, which means that Ennis (played by Heath) is really making out with himself.

We are all puppets in life. Everyone is manipulated in this film, and we all take turns being puppets and puppeteers. Such is the life in the spotlights in this crazy-cool world of celebrity.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:35:20 am
by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 05:01:07 )   
 

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"Ewe without a face" (Les Yeux sans visage)


Plot Synopsis"

Joe Aguirre loses his favorite sheep Christie in a drowning accident. He fakes a burial.

Meanwhile, back at the veterinary clinic, Christie the sheep is very much alive, wandering about the farm and wearing a mysterious blank-faced mask. The mirrors have been covered to prevent her from seeing herself. She's is definitely an ewe on the edge. 

Aguirre's assistant Alma spends an enormous amount of time looking for sheep with similar facial construction and wool texture to Christie's. Alma has a scar on her neck. Has Dr. Aguirre changed her face as well? Maybe as a practice sessi

Aguirre enjoys surgical trans-species heterografts, hey we all have to have a hobby... But, if you can't stand it, you gotta fix it.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:36:11 am
by - bjblakeslee (Mon May 8 2006 08:28:37 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 14:27:42 

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"Godzilla vs. Homophobotron"


Plot Synopsis:

The forests around Signal are dying because an ancient seal is broken by foresters. They are also making life difficult for gay people in the area. An evil faerie named Aguirre goads the proceedings on and summons up a monster named Homophobotron to wreak havoc on the Earth. Two miniature forest spirits called EnniJak, open the lid of the egg they share and sing a song ("Water Walking Mothra) that calls up a rainbow-colored monster to protect the Earth.

The EnniJak also call upon the healing power of Rainbow Mothra to bring pride back to the Mountain and undo the environmental damage done to the Earth by Aguirre's monster.

No one asks or tells the American military to get involved, and the battles happen mostly in the forests near Brokeback Mountain and far away from any cities. Things begin to look bad for Rainbow Mothra. Both EnniJak decide the battle needs reinforcements. The Enjak fetch Godzilla, who soon puts things right... using a double flying kick to put Homophobotron out of commission. Now Rainbow Mothra can finish the job of healing the Earth, and making the forests safe for gay people again.

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:37:07 am
by - bjblakeslee (Wed May 3 2006 13:36:04 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 07:12:09 

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"The Het Net"(The Net)


Plot Synopsis:

"Your bank cards, your identity, your sexual orientation, DELETED."

Jack Twist is a computer geek who telecommutes from home and spends most of his free time on IMDB forums. He occasionally works the farm for his parents in Lightning Flats, but has no real life to speak of. Joe Aguirre send him a weird program to de-bug and then Joe dies mysteriously.

Jack discovers a file folder marked "Super secret information, VERY INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE" on the disk he receives just before he takes off for a short vacation to Mexico.

Jack finds that his credit records are erased and someone has substituted a different identity. Jack finds that much to his horror, he is now straight, asian, and republican with a pending indictment for manufacturing Iraqi evidence of weapons of mass destruction at the request of the White House.

Jack struggles valiantly to find out why this has happened to him.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:37:53 am


 by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 04:29:21 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Tue May 9 2006 13:50:59 

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"The Jackson Hole Horror"(The Dunwich Horror/Die Monster Die)

Plot Synopsis:


Based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft, John Twist comes under the supernatural influence of a radioactive meteorite. He summons a man named Randall to become his mindless, obedient slave.

Jack Twist and Ennis Delmar visit the library at the infamous Laramie County Community College Library (ostensibly to look for a book about how to castrate a calf, but really to look at a copy of "The Advocate"), they discover a young man Randall who wishes to check out a book of the undead - The Necronomicon.
This unholy ancient tome contains incantations for summoning demons from the underworld. ( Jack tells Ennis that he thinks he knows the guy from somewhere, but isn't exactly forthcoming about how and where.}

John Twist wants to use the Necronomicon to open the gateways of Hell and unleash a demon (Yog Sothoth) in this dimension, and a human sacrifice of his son Jack must be offered to appease the guardians of the Portal of the Damned.

Can Ennis save Jack in time before he is sacrificed in a ritual at Jackson Hole?
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:38:35 am
by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 06:37:04 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Tue May 9 2006 06:58:14 

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"A Runaway Cowboy's Tale" (Runaway Bride)


Plot Synopsis:

Ennis Delmar, a Houston columnist, is a writer with a procrastination problem. Just in time is usually just good enough.

He hears tell of a story about Jack Twist, a gay man who alway runs away from gay marriage commitment ceremonies at the last minute. He writes a homophobic and snotty little article about Jack.

Ennis gets fired by his publisher Alma, because she has always wanted a reason to get her ex-husband off the payroll. Ennis decides to write a real article for "The Advocate" magazine on Jack's upcoming fourth gay wedding attempt to a divorced man named Randall - a marriage which Ennis predicts will also be an utter fiasco of biblical proportions.

Ennis insinuates himself into small town gay life in Childress, waiting for Jack to bail on the next big profile "gay wedding."

Eventually, the wedding is called off, because Randall suspects that Jack and Ennis have fallen for each other, after he sees them kissing. "It's nobody's business but ours," Jack tells Ennis.

Ennis and Jack wisely decide to honeymoon in Mexico before they get married, to help take some of the pressure off Jack.

 Shoot as fast as lightnin' but it loads a mite slow... 
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:39:30 am
by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 07:35:20 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 07:11:06 

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"House and Horse Sitter"(Housesitter)


Plot Synopsis:

Ennis buys new trailer, presents it to Cassie, and proposes marriage. Cassie tells Ennis that although dating a repressed guy is kind of fun, she doesn't really want to marry a gay with no sexual history.

Ennis go off to work at another ranch and is kind of depressed, and even a whole afternoon spent castrating calves doesn't do much to cheer him up.

Ennis runs into Jack at a local bar, Jack can talk faster than Ennis can think. They spend the night together, and Ennis slips away while Jack is sleeping.

Jack needs a place to stay. He finds the trailer Ennis bought and moves in. They other people in the trailer park get curious and start introducing themselves and asking questions. Jack invents an entire exotic history of how he and Ennis met. Jack borrows a horse to use for transportation, and charges it to Ennis.

Everybody thinks Jack is the most fantastic thing that could happen for Ennis! Ennis's brother and his wife meet Jack. They have been worrying about Ennis and are glad he has finally found someone to settle down with, and it turns out that suspected he was gay all along, and just never brought it up because they figured Ennis was uncomfortable talking about it. They think Ennis and Jack have great chemistry and want to have a big coming out party for Ennis.

Eventually, word gets back to Ennis that the entire trailer park thinks he has settled down with Jack, They are all very happy for this formerly repressed man, who seems to finally be coming out of his shell. Ennis sees that maybe this can be used to make Cassie jealous, and agrees to let Jack stay while Ennis pursues Cassie.

No one in the park wants them to separate, and they keep conspiring to keep them together, until Jack actually leaves, and Ennis is forced to invent a future with Jack.
Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on June 17, 2007, 06:40:15 am
by - bjblakeslee (Thu May 4 2006 10:56:59 )  Ignore this User | Report Abuse 
 
UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 05:16:57 

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"The Gaytrix: Reloader-Busters"


Plot Synopsis:

Now we see that everything in the first movie was a program simulation as part of an enslavement campaign - a campaign to use gay humans as batteries in an alien computer system.

Jack Neosty, Ennis Delmorpheus, and the remaining crew of gay resistance fighters battle heterocombot sentinels of the heteromachine army that have enslaved the gay human race in the Gaytrix. Neosty begins to have visions of Delmorpheus plunging to his death.

With continued training, Neosty begins to understand how to nuance his superhomoid powers, such as the ability to read the sexual orientation codes people around him and scan the data codes of everyday objects.

People are waking from the Brokeback Gaytrix and attempting to live in the real world. In the city of Signal of Zion, thousands of heterocombot sentinels dig towards Signal of Zion to eradicate the gay human race.

The Oracle tells Neosty to find the keymaker and fit into the keyhole and to get to tickling those tumblers. If Neosty fails, gay mankind is doomed to taken over by the heteromachine army. The battle moves to SIgnal of Zion - the last remaining real gay city. Agent Aguirre Smith returns, to infect the all-seeing computer and destroy Jack Neosty. A battle wages with several permutations of Agent Aguirre Smith, who appears in an incarnation of a giant BetterMost Marshmellow Man.

Neosty, Delmorpheus and the other ghostbuster rebels must win a fierce battle to take the key to the source lock and uncover the code that reveals things Neosty would rather he hadn't known.

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on January 30, 2009, 09:57:46 am
Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40   2 days ago (Tue Jan 27 2009 14:21:39)   
   

UPDATED Wed Jan 28 2009 06:23:50

Here's my idea for a prequel. I'm afraid it isn't very good. (Neither is the movie I've ripped it off from):

Brokeback Daddy Dearest

Mr. Delmar: What's wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me. I buy you beautiful dungarees and yellow plaid shirts, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do. Three dollar dungarees on a wire hanger. We'll see how many you've got if they're hidden somewhere. We'll see... we'll see. Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. You've got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Ennis, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed. You live in the most beautiful shack in Riverton and you don't care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-month furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Mexico. Get up! Get up! Clean up this mess!
Ennis: I'm coming, Daddy.

=======

Mr. Delmar: Why can't you give me the RESPECT that I'm EnTITLED to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any STRANGER ON THE STREET?
Ennis: Because I am NOT one of your rodeo fans.

=======

Mr. Delmar: Did you scrub the COW TRENCH today? DID YOU?
Ennis: Yes, Daddy.
Mr. Delmar: Yes, Daddy what?
Ennis: Yes, Daddy Dearest.
Mr. Delmar: When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to MEAN it.

=======

Mr. Delmar: [muttering to himself, hacking down the rose garden] Rodeo royalty! Parted friends... everyone already knows! Rodeo poison! Rodeo poison! Class! You're... class... you're... class... rodeo poison! Eighteen years in the business and we parted friends! Creative differences!
Mr. Delmar: Go on... get the wheelbarrow and the rake!
[suddenly noticing the wheelbarrow has a flat]
Mr. Delamr: Ennis! Bring me the tireiron!

Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GuyMadison   2 days ago (Tue Jan 27 2009 15:03:22)   
   
UPDATED Tue Jan 27 2009 15:04:20

Gotta disagree George...

...it was a GREAT movie!!!

And, the Brokeback Dearest connections are unavoidable.


Personally, I might have done:

Jack: Why can’t you give me the respect that I’m entitled to? Why can’t you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Aguirre: Because I am NOT a fan of stemmin’ the rose!


Also, this one actually could have played out in the short story between Jack and his father:

OMT: Did you scrub the toilet today? DID YOU?
Jack: Yes, Daddy.
OMT: Yes, Daddy what?
Jack: Yes, Daddy F-in’ Dearest.


And, to add one of my own:

Jack: There’s a liquor store to the right.
Ennis: I should’ve known you’d know where to find the boys and the booze.


Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by littlewing1957   2 days ago (Tue Jan 27 2009 16:14:52)   

Jack: There’s a liquor store to the right.
Ennis: I should’ve known you’d know where to find the boys and the booze.

Loving it! 



Everybody should be working on an afghan - Juliet Mills


Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40   2 days ago (Wed Jan 28 2009 04:20:54)   
   

UPDATED Wed Jan 28 2009 04:59:02
More newly discovered scenes from the unproduced prequel "Brokeback Daddy Dearest"

[Ennis has been discovered making out with a boy in a stable]

Mr. Delmar: How? How could this happen, how could you humiliate me this way? I am ashamed to be your father! How could you let this happen?

Principal of the Riverton Middle School: Both students have been put on probation and will have no privileges for a month.

Joan Crawford: Probation. This is appalling. I have devoted myself to making Ennis a proper young rancher. That other cowboy should be EXPELLED.

Principal of the school: Now, Mr. Delmar. When this sort of thing has happened before, we've...

Mr. Delmar: BEFORE? Is this an institution of learning or a Mexican brothel?

Principal: I think you're overACTing, Mr Delmar.

Mr. Delmar: And I think you're UNDERacting, Mr. FancyPants.

============

Mr. Delmar[wiping a bloody tireiron after returning from Old Earl's murder]: I'm not mad at you, Ennis. I'm mad at the blood.


Re: Ideas for a sequel?   
  by GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40   2 days ago (Wed Jan 28 2009 04:35:46)   
   

UPDATED Wed Jan 28 2009 04:43:45
(GREAT!!! for sooo many of the WRONG reasons!)


Mr. Delmar: Ennis! Let's tear down that BITCH of a BEARING WALL, and put a BARN DOOR where it OUGHT TO BE!!
Ennis: Oh, Jesus ****ing Christ!

Title: Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
Post by: Penthesilea on September 14, 2013, 03:02:46 am
by - bjblakeslee 3 hours ago (Fri Apr 28 2006 08:29:59 )   

"Brokebackdraft"


Plot Synopsis:

As a child Ennis Delmar watched his firefighter father die. Years later he joins his old sheep herding buddy Jack who also becomes a shepherd firefighter. Things get really hot as they as they practice handling hoses, and shower with the Baldwin brothers.

Several suspicious fires involving the spontaneous combustion of sheep occur, each one designed to murder someone and burn all the evidence.

Ennis finagles an office job and finds that instead of putting out fires, he is now in charge of setting them.


They shower with the Baldwin brothers!!!! :o ;D :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Thanks for bumping this one, Bruce!  :)
I had completely missed this thread so far.