Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous.
And then March 2006 - I met Callum - in the midst of my brokie obsession. And I decided what harm would a few dates do.. did I really want to be an Ennis? We've been living together for 9 months now so I guess you can say those dates went well! :laugh:
I'm spending on average about $40 a week at the grocery store, but that amount is a little misleading. That doesn't included milk picked up at the convenience store as needed, or 12-packs of soda picked up at the drug store (because it's closer to carry it home from the drug store and I can't manage 12-packs of soda and my regular groceries walking home from the supermarket) as needed, or the corn and tomatoes and other stuff bought at the farmer's market during the summer. I don't bother to add up those amounts. I don't want to know. :laugh:
goody! so far no one has said they spend less than me, so I am go to try real hard to let go of any excess guilt regarding what I spend on food... (I am always like, "Dang, maybe I should have paid a little more on the credit card bills, and endulged in a little less chocolate, or fruit, or wine...")Hi nb. I'm new on this site and saw this topic and thought it was interesting. I probably spend about $50/week, but I don't eat out either. Whatever I buy, I use up and I shop about every 3 weeks. I also buy bottled water which is included in that $50. I figure if I buy good fresh vegies and fruit, that is much better for me than buying other foods that are not nutritious like chips and candy. I can even rationalize ice cream because there is some food value there. ;D My weakness.
::)
Hi nb. I'm new on this site and saw this topic and thought it was interesting. I probably spend about $50/week, but I don't eat out either. Whatever I buy, I use up and I shop about every 3 weeks. I also buy bottled water which is included in that $50. I figure if I buy good fresh vegies and fruit, that is much better for me than buying other foods that are not nutritious like chips and candy. I can even rationalize ice cream because there is some food value there. ;D My weakness.
I am a single woman too. I have been single since 1986 when my second husband died suddenly at age 42. It has been so long now - not to mention that I'm set in my ways - I don't really think I would be interested in anyone to live with - maybe dating for dinner, a movie, dancing. But, much as I hate to admit it, I can't imagine "cuddliing" with a man my age. I am 65 y/o and the guys I see who are my age are very unattractive to me. Of course, it might also be because I've never dated men my age - I was 43 when my husband died. ::) The other problem is that men don't seem to evolve like women IMO. I haven't met one yet that would understand my obsession with BBM. In my age group, they are too threatened. Correct me if I'm wrong and haven't given guys a chance. I'd love your input. I have basically given up altogether and am telling myself that I'm satisfied with just being alone.
Thanks for listening.
Welcome to Bettermost, lonelyinbbm! I'm one of the two moderators on the forum How We Live, the other being Kelda and if you have any questions, please let me know by sending me a PM!Thanks for the welcome Mel. I've been "lurking" around for awhile so I am pretty familiar with the site. L
Hope you enjoy your stay here!
:) Mel
Correct me if I'm wrong and haven't given guys a chance. I'd love your input. I have basically given up altogether and am telling myself that I'm satisfied with just being alone.
Thanks for listening.
I have wondered a lot lately about the "urge to couple" or lack thereof...
Is it cultural, instinctual, societal?
Up until now, I have spent the last twelve years of my life (I am 30) either being 'with someone' or plotting, hoping, wishing to be with someone.
I also think of myself as a rather driven and independent person. When going through my recent break-up, one of the things I looked forward to was not having the burden of another person. Now, I realize that the fact that my relationship was a 'burden' is a problem in and of itself... But I did question whether it was selfish or weird of me to not have an immediate desire to be with another person...
But I think probably, that as our culture changes/evolves we can survive without coupledom. There are ways to have and maintain relationships that help make us whole, without entering coupledom. Not that there is anything wrong with coupledom. I just don't think it has to be one's life goal... And for me, growing up, while coupledom wasn't the only goal I felt I should have, it definitely felt like it should have been included in the list of goals. I don't really feel that way right now.
Hi lonelyinbbm,Hi Amanda. I never believed in being "set in your ways" but as the years have gone by, I see myself in a much narrower way. But, Amanda, you are too young to avoid getting involved with someone. You have the best years of your life ahead of you. I know it is hard, but you need to just get "out there" and find something you like to do - take a course, walk in a walkathon, meet people doing things you enjoy. You don't want to be that old "spinster" who gives out stale candy to the kids at Halloween now do you? :o You know the one who lives in that scary house! :D I'm just kidding, but it would get lonely.
It's great to see you posting here. :)
I think the issue of being "set in your ways" is really interesting... I definitely feel the same way about myself in terms of my daily routines and the way I live my life. It presents an interesting conflict to me. There are many moments when I think it would be great to have a partner and I feel like I should be making more efforts to get out there and try to meet people, but then a lot of the times I just don't really want to or I'm resistant to the idea of having another person involved in my life in a constant way. I've never lived with a significant other (and I'm 32), so I can only imagine that it would be really hard for me to get used to that now.
:-\
Anyway, I think the whole general issue of getting "set in our ways" is probably a pretty common and major issue for singles.
cheers,
Amanda
Heck if I know, lol....Hi nb. I know what you mean about giving advice, but I do think that an outsider can sometimes see another person's relationship issues better than they see their own. So, don't sell your advice short. You have probably helped some people. I know what you mean about "coupledom." The rules have changed and we don't need someone to support us. I'm guessing you are a woman for some reason. But, in my case at least, I was "socialized" to marry, be a housewife and have kids. When I married and my new husband told me to get a job, I was shocked. But, we needed 2 incomes. When I had my second child, I did stay home with the 2 of them for 7 years. I went back to work when my husband left me for another woman. I did marry again and my husband died in 1986.
::)
I have a pretty high opinion of myself, so I used to always try and give my friends lovelife advice... As I found myself putting up with crap I would never have advised my friends to put up with, I realized there wasn't really any point to giving advice. Basically, I think you have to figure out a way to know yourself, and to trust yourself, and then you just choose to try or not to try... There are no right or wrong answers. You just do the best you can. And if you're happy - congratulations! If you're not, you owe it to yourself to try to get happy.
I'm single, but I'm 18 and still in school so my parents pay for the groceries lol.
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heee enjoy it when you can Krisitn - and welcome to bettermost and the How We Live Forum :-*
I was driving home from the grocery store last night (I do all of my best thinking in the car), and I thought, "Hey, there should be a singles thread on Bettermost."
So, here I started one!
I shall tell a few stories about myself and my 'single-ness' I guess, to get things started...
Story 1:
I recently broke-up with my significant other. I had tried to make the relationship work for a really long time, 6 or 12 years, depending on your prospective. And, you know what, it just didn't work, and I realized I could go on struggling and being miserable, or get out of dodge. I chose the latter. I do find it frustrating sometimes that 'the world' acts like you failed, or you didn't try hard enough, when you choose to end your relationship. Maintaining the relationship just for the sake of saying you maintained the relationship is not always a good thing to do.
Story 2:
I received an email from a longtime friend today - someone I email regularly, though not frequently. I announced my recent break-up as news in my reply. I hope my friend is happy for me, and not sad, and not feeling sorry for me...
Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous.
:)
Story 2:
I received an email from a longtime friend today - someone I email regularly, though not frequently. I announced my recent break-up as news in my reply. I hope my friend is happy for me, and not sad, and not feeling sorry for me...
Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous
I don't cook worth a damn, so being Susie Homemaker and cooking all my meals to save money doesn't work.
Men are just too expensive.
My sister was recently dumped by her young lover. I listened to her grief with sympathy, though I had my doubts about what kind of relationship it really was (my sister's self-esteem is rock bottom and she will consider some guy she gave a blowjob to after a night on the town as the beginning of a 'relationship'). At some point she wailed,
"Well, do you just give up?"
That woke me up because I realized it was not a rhetorical question. Though I had forgotten and not thought much of it, she was well aware I have not dated nor even had sex with anyone in over 4 years now.
I told her that we were just two different people. She had been married and now had a child so relationships with men were very important to her, while I have been for the most part single all my life, and relationships with men were just something that kinda came and went.
The longer I stay alone, the longer I like to stay alone and after much thought, have decided that men are just too expensive. I'm a feminist of the old school and believe in equal dating. He treats me, I treat him and believe me, he gets the better end of the deal because men eat a great deal. My restaurant meals consist of an entree and some ice tea. My last few exes idea of dinner was wine, an appetizer, a salad, an entree and dessert!
Even eating at home was expensive. My idea of an at-home meal left them hungry, so much larger portions and/or snacks were the order of the day.
I was going broke fast dating them.
Hey Dela.
Yer right, most men can be expensive. I, myself, am usually just content with a burger and fries as my appetite over the years has shrunk considerably. LOL
Ok, I actually don't know the average I spend on groceries as it tends to fluctuate depending on what I need to get at the time.
I have not actually been in a relationship yet. But, I am more then ready now. I actually chose to wait till I had sorted myself out and raised my self esteem and got older so I could get together with someone in the age group I'm interested in with out it seeming too odd.
But now, I'm ready for my, uhh, own "BBM" experience so to speak. However, patience is a virtue. ;D
Sincerely, Kat.
Recently I started dating but nothing sparked not even a click, pretty sad isn't it.
Single and happy for the most part. I've been in a few relationships. I've come to the realization that is not always them, sometimes it is me. I can be self centered at times. And you are always the last to know you are being self centered until someone points it out.
I've lived alone now for the last 10 years. It doesn't bother me. Thankgoodness for the internet. That helps kill any bordom and need for outside contact when needed. What I do misss is having single friends to do things with. No, not just sex. LOL. Although a few friends with benefits doesn't hurt. ::)
Are intimate relationships necessary?
Although a few friends with benefits doesn't hurt.
I spend at least $60 a week on groceries, but I also spend at least that much eating out.
Interesting posts on this thread and I'm in agreement with a lot of the posts - I like to be on my own and have my own space. Relationships are way too complicated for me. I don't want to compromise and I like a LOT of downtime. I guess I sound very selfish and self-centered. :P
Not at all! You've got to be selfish some times!I don't think its selfish either. I have always enjoyed some time to myself. I guess thats why I like shift work so much. Some time with a partner and some time for myself too
I'm single, but I'm 18 and still in school so my parents pay for the groceries lol.
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heee enjoy it when you can Krisitn - and welcome to bettermost and the How We Live Forum :-*
Just saw this post, thank you. :)
Well I am 19 now (20 next month) and my parents still pay for the groceries! And I am still single. :( Hopefully the right girl will come along someday.
two other guys want to meet next week. They are aged 55 & 61. I told them I would be willing to meet AS FRIENDS. I think they are both lonely. If they try to turn this into a romantic thing, I'll cut them off quickly.
Why is that, Chuck? Could you elaborate?
And the search continues......
(http://i730.photobucket.com/albums/ww303/chriskarl85/4b58e289.jpg)
This is probably only marginally relevant, but I don't feel single anymore. After about fifteen years of casual dating and not even looking for a real partner, the mindset being that I found love once, so what are the chances? Besides, I work very well on my own.
Now that has changed. I love my ex husband dearly, but I never knew things could be this good. Frankly, I'm scared spitless that I will mess this up.
I find I'm consulting him before Brokie trips - not for permission, but just because I want him with me.
This is the first time ever I can envision growing old with someone. Not anytime soon of course.
I don't know what my point is, except that everything has changed and I am thrown by it. I'm not sure I know how to be part of a couple anymore logistically, except of course the basics - mutual respect and love and consideration.
You and your ex-husband ....... ?
You happy?
I hope so!
:-*
This is probably only marginally relevant, but I don't feel single anymore. After about fifteen years of casual dating and not even looking for a real partner, the mindset was that I found love once - so what were the chances? Besides, I work very well on my own.
Now that has changed. ...
I find I'm consulting him before Brokie trips - not for permission, but just because I want him with me if possible.
This is the first time ever I can envision growing old with someone. Not anytime soon of course. ;)
Yee-haw, friend!! :D :D :D
I'm sorry, Chrissi - I wasn't clear - which is what happens when I try to make long posts from my phone.
No, my ex-husband is happily remarried, a father, and living in the SF Bay area. We had a great marriage and we're still on good terms, friendly.
It's impossible not to compare this new relationship to the old one, although I realize it's not completely fair- that was a different time and place and circumstance - but on so many ways it is better.
I have never felt this chrerished, loved, adored even, protected. And yes, I've never been happier.
The big BUT tho is that many of the issues involved in my divorce remain unresolved - primarily my commitments to my family of origin. I'm scared that history might repeat itself. I hope I'm older and wiser. And my new guy didn't come from Greenwich, Connecticut and the luxury and wealth that comes with that...we are better matched socio-economically. He's from an immigrant family with a solid work ethic - and he and most of his siblings are brilliant and successful.
Do you not have the option for an age range in your dating profile?If the Internet had been around when I met my husband, I'm sure I would have rejected him. Younger than me, he worked in the alcohol business and smoked. Three strikes against him. However, him being younger didn't make a difference in our marriage, because I have a younger outlook than most women my age. He diversified out of the alcohol business, and he stopped smoking before we married at my request. The Internet puts up artificial barriers. These stories also show that the converse is true. Oftentimes, people who fit in your formula just don't click, they don't have that certain unnameable something, that chemistry.
Most people I know who do such dating have similar experiences. A friend had great chemistry and communication via internet with this guy and he was anxious to meet her. She finally met him and he spent the date ignoring her.
This other guy in Houston kept up a vigorous communication with my sister, until she sent him a picture and he dropped out of sight within a day.
You got to have thick skin and a lot of patience.
The Internet puts up artificial barriers. These stories also show that the converse is true. Oftentimes, people who fit in your formula just don't click, they don't have that certain unnameable something, that chemistry.
If the Internet had been around when I met my husband, I'm sure I would have rejected him. Younger than me, he worked in the alcohol business and smoked. Three strikes against him. However, him being younger didn't make a difference in our marriage, because I have a younger outlook than most women my age. He diversified out of the alcohol business, and he stopped smoking before we married at my request. The Internet puts up artificial barriers. These stories also show that the converse is true. Oftentimes, people who fit in your formula just don't click, they don't have that certain unnameable something, that chemistry.
Then, there's the concept that Annie Proulx explored in our favorite story. Jack and Ennis came together on paper before they met in person. Their meeting was less than ideal, hardly a word was spoken. Based on the first ten minutes of the film, what chances would you have given their relationship to succeed, much less blossom into a mating for life? But it did. I think Annie Proulx's premise was that the enforced relationship on the mountain where neither one could leave worked magic. It made them get to know each other and FIND the hidden chemistry. I think it also caused each one of them to change so that they complemented each other, balanced each other. That's why she had them change roles.
This is probably only marginally relevant, but I don't feel single anymore. After about fifteen years of casual dating and not even looking for a real partner, the mindset was that I found love once - so what were the chances? Besides, I work very well on my own.
Now that has changed. I love my ex-husband dearly, but I never knew things could be as good as they are now. Frankly, I'm scared spitless that I will mess this up.
I find I'm consulting him before Brokie trips - not for permission, but just because I want him with me if possible.
This is the first time ever I can envision growing old with someone. Not anytime soon of course. ;)
I don't know what my point is, except that everything has changed and I am thrown by it. I'm not sure I know how to be part of a couple anymore logistically, except of course the basics - mutual respect and love and consideration.
Im doing a happy dance for you Lynne!!!!!
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*