I don't forgive....not for major stuff. Don't like to set myself up to be hurt again.
well, for most people. Some that I have a previous relationship I can forgive SMALL things..
this actually is not as simple as I thought at first!
:laugh: :laugh:
It's a good question isn't it Jess?
I inadvertently hurt someones feelings today and I didn't mean to. They felt I was criticizing them and I wasn't. They asked for my opinion and I offered it in the most gentle way I could. They recoiled at me and then told me I was no longer their friend. I told them I was sorry and they refused to forgive me. And I feel very hurt now.
On the drive home, I kept thinking about the movie The Color Purple, and particularly the scene I posted up above. I guess this is why I asked the question. Is the whole world like this now? I never thought this person would react like this. They have criticized me numerous times, and I always tried to view their criticism as helpful information. But apparently it's different when I do it. Even when I try to be as kind as possible as I do it. :'(
I always try to forgive and forget. Usually I'm pretty successful with the forgiving part if I can put the person out of my mind and out of my life (if the offense is serious enough) but I find I struggle with forgetting. My good opinion once lost is usually never again regained in the same measure. I would never strike out or demean them but I would keep my distance if I could not avoid them altogether.
I'd like to believe that people are not malicious, that sometimes things are just mistakes, poor judgement, a miscalculation, a misunderstanding or personal, cultural or lifestyle differences but one hurt to many has taught me that there are some people in the world who are just plain mean for no good reason other than it gives them pleasure to cause others pain or problems. I am especially offended by the sneaky ones, those who do so hiding behind someone or something else, or pretending to be someone they are not instead of owning their actions and opinions.
*Jess giving a standing ovation!!*
you stated exactly how I feel, Dottie. Those sneaky people...they are an alien breed. I just can't think like that...
Maybe we could set up a scenario.. you have someone who hurts you over and over, and you keep
letting it go and letting it go. They do not even acknowledge it that they have done anything wrong..So you continue to take all the blame for the difficulties. You forgive, and even if you dont think you have done anything
wrong..Apologize over and over...Then that person tells you that if you would stop doing that, you wouldnt
have to keep apologizing...Are you still supposed to keep apologizing..and forgiving, when you are repeatedly
being hurt...?
Hey David,
This is a hard one , i am a soft , loving person i will help anyone i can , sometimes i hate myself for this , as i have been used and taken advantage of because of this . This is down to the heart and mind really , if someone says sorry i will forgive them , but i will not necessarily forget what they have done especially if it is really hurtful , my mind will forgive them but mt heart may not , and so even if i think i have made peace and forgave someone and told myself i will forget about it , in my heart i may not `Really Feel` that i have.
I don`t know if this makes sense. I agree with comments about sneeky people i dislike those completely. but if i found someone who i disliked , i knew disliked me equally , sad alone in need of help i don`t think i could turn my back on them.
I don`t know if this makes me sound like an idiot or a saint but thats me . x
I almost alway think that I've forgiven... but the more I look at myself the more I realize that I really do hold grudges despite my best intentions. I also have a horrible habit of being a bridge-burner.
:-\
I almost never forgive and why?
The people who have hurt me and/ormine the majority of the time have done nothing to deserve my forgiveness. They're almost never sorry for what they've done to hurt me, most never apologize or show any compassion for my pain or remorse.
So why do they deserve my forgiveness?
I understand sometimes why people do what they do, but if they're adults - and they almost always are - they are in complete control of their lives and actions, so that makes what the hurt they cause and their blithe attitude about it even more despicable.
Good to see you back Delalluvia..how was the trip?/
yes, that is what chaps me about forgiveness...all the aggressor has to do is say "Hey sorry about that" and they skip off scot free....while the victim is left to pick up the pieces...(AND gets hassles from people telling them they need to forgive "do it for yourself')
bah humbug!
I forgive and forget! You have to let things go or they will slowly eat you alive. The other person has forgotten all about it and you're left stewing in your own juices.
Get angry ..... rant and rave ..... sulk for a bit ... then let be ..
Susie (http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_1_201.gif)
I forgive and forget! You have to let things go or they will slowly eat you alive. The other person has forgotten all about it and you're left stewing in your own juices.
Get angry ..... rant and rave ..... sulk for a bit ... then let be ..
Susie (http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_1_201.gif)
Holding on to grudges and hate only hurts you.
My Granny used to say that hate only destroys the vessel that carrys it!