BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond => Heath Ledger Remembrance Forum => Topic started by: mvansand76 on January 25, 2008, 07:25:46 am
-
Ok, this must sound crazy.... but it's what's been popping up in my mind several times the last couple of days. :-\
Although I hardly believe it is possible, but to make it easier for myself, I like to believe that Heath's death was staged and that instead of dying he has left to lead a more carefree life somewhere away from everything. I like to imagine walking into a cafe in Amsterdam in a few years and seeing somebody sitting in the corner, smoking a cigarette, drinking a latte, looking eerily like Heath.
I know, crazy.... But I feel so sad and I don't know what else to think to make it easier.....
:'(
-
Ok, this must sound crazy.... but it's what's been popping up in my mind several times the last couple of days. :-\
Although I hardly believe it is possible, but to make it easier for myself, I like to believe that Heath's death was staged and that instead of dying he has left to lead a more carefree life somewhere away from everything. I like to imagine walking into a cafe in Amsterdam in a few years and seeing somebody sitting in the corner, smoking a cigarette, drinking a latte, looking eerily like Heath.
I know, crazy.... But I feel so sad and I don't know what else to think to make it easier.....
:'(
Mel, I was talking to a Brokie on the phone last night who voiced pretty much the identical thought. It's not what I'm picturing, but you are clearly not alone with this idea.
-
Ok, this must sound crazy.... but it's what's been popping up in my mind several times the last couple of days. :-\
Although I hardly believe it is possible, but to make it easier for myself, I like to believe that Heath's death was staged and that instead of dying he has left to lead a more carefree life somewhere away from everything. I like to imagine walking into a cafe in Amsterdam in a few years and seeing somebody sitting in the corner, smoking a cigarette, drinking a latte, looking eerily like Heath.
I know, crazy.... But I feel so sad and I don't know what else to think to make it easier.....
:'(
There is some open space between what we know and what we try to believe. :'(
You know, when my father died nine years ago, I never thought of him as dead during the first time. I always tried to think he was on vacation, he woudln't call now, because he's on vacation, but in a some weeks, he would call me.
The term "trying to believe" really hits the nail on the head here.
For now, I'm still checking the banner of BetterMost several times a day. Every time it hits me again. It can't be, it can't. I'm still trying NOT to believe the news. Of course I know, but I try not to.
Guess this sounds just as crazy, but I don't care.
-
Mel, I was talking to a Brokie on the phone last night who voiced pretty much the identical thought. It's not what I'm picturing, but you are clearly not alone with this idea.
Glad I'm not the only one... It's hardly a realistic thought, and the whole staged death thing is ridiculous of course, but it's something to make it easier...
:'( :'( :'(
There is some open space between what we know and what we try to believe. :'(
You know, when my father died nine years ago, I never thought of him as dead during the first time. I always tried to think he was on vacation, he woudln't call now, because he's on vacation, but in a some weeks, he would call me.
The term "trying to believe" really hits the nail on the head here.
For now, I'm still checking the banner of BetterMost several times a day. Every time it hits me again. It can't be, it can't. I'm still trying NOT to believe the news. Of course I know, but I try not to.
Guess this sounds just as crazy, but I don't care.
Yes, Chrissi, I totally understand what you mean, every time I see it somewhere, the words Ledger and dead in one sentence, it just throws me off course. I don't think I want to believe it. I don't think I want to let it sink in that Matilda will never know her father.
Am wearing my crazy Joker stockings today... People at work asked me about them and I told them...
-
There is some open space between what we know and what we try to believe. :'(
You know, when my father died nine years ago, I never thought of him as dead during the first time. I always tried to think he was on vacation, he woudln't call now, because he's on vacation, but in a some weeks, he would call me.
The term "trying to believe" really hits the nail on the head here.
For now, I'm still checking the banner of BetterMost several times a day. Every time it hits me again. It can't be, it can't. I'm still trying NOT to believe the news. Of course I know, but I try not to.
Guess this sounds just as crazy, but I don't care.
It is the same with me. I am still very much shocked and attacked by the terrible banner destroying my hopes I kept subconciously building in my mind during the day. I hate the entrance to Bettermost lately.
-
It is the same with me. I am still very much shocked and attacked by the terrible banner destroying my hopes I kept subconciously building in my mind during the day. I hate the entrance to Bettermost lately.
I think I understand. But how can we not have our feelings for Heath all over the banner? It's what we are all thinking of.
There will come a day, not too long from now, when we will have some things on the banner that aren't Heath-related. And in a way, for me, that will be even sadder. :(
-
I feel the same as you all do. This may sound corny but it almost seems like a dream and when the dream is over, Heath will still be alive. I get a knot in my stomach when I think about the reality of the situation.
One of my fantasies was that I'd be in Brooklyn one day, since I don't live far from NY, and I 'd get a chance to meet or just run into Heath. That fantasy is gone. :'( I am still very distraught over Heath's passing, like you all are, and I feel so bad for little Matilda and his family.
However, I am grateful to have Bettermost where I can share how I feel with Brokies who understand. Just writing about some of the feelings that I am experiencing helps to ease the pain. :( And I thank all of you for being there for me and for each other during these extremely trying and stressful times.
-
I feel the same as you all do. This may sound corny but it almost seems like a dream and when the dream is over, Heath will still be alive. I get a knot in my stomach when I think about the reality of the situation.
One of my fantasies was that I'd be in Brooklyn one day, since I don't live far from NY, and I 'd get a chance to meet or just run into Heath. That fantasy is gone. :'( I am still very distraught over Heath's passing, like you all are, and I feel so bad for little Matilda and his family.
However, I am grateful to have Bettermost where I can share how I feel with Brokies who understand. Just writing about some of the feelings that I am experiencing helps to ease the pain. :( And I thank all of you for being there for me and for each other during these extremely trying and stressful times.
{{{{DEB}}}}}
-
Thanks Mel- I needed that :) and {{{{{{{{MEL}}}}}}}}}}