BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum

Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond => Heath Ledger Remembrance Forum => Topic started by: ednbarby on April 27, 2008, 09:58:21 am

Title: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: ednbarby on April 27, 2008, 09:58:21 am
This is very strange.  And yet, not.  Heath has been appearing in my dreams pretty much every night for the last two weeks.  Not generally in any macabre way, but as if he is someone I know who is still very much alive.  He is kind of a brother figure in the dreams.  I've never dreamt of him in all my Brokeback/Ennis loving days.  Ennis and Jack have appeared before, but never Heath or Jake.

This isn't strange, really, because my Dad is dying.  He is currently under hospice care in his home and his time is running very short.  I went up to NC to spend time with him and my stepmom and to say goodbye last week.  He is just a shell, now, of the man he used to be, thanks to the evil bitch that is glioblastoma (grade 4 brain cancer) and her evil sister, Temador (chemo"therapy").

Shortly after my Mom died many years ago, I had dreams of people I had greatly admired but never known personally who had passed before her.  I think it's the mind's way of dealing with the death of someone very close - the death of someone who was admired - loved, even - but distant - is easier. 

In this case, though, I awake comforted, feeling at least for a little bit that Heath is still with us.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Artiste on April 27, 2008, 10:02:09 am
Good that you have such dreams.

I am praying for your dad!


And for you too!!

Take care,

hugs!
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: belbbmfan on April 27, 2008, 10:05:52 am
Barb,

I'm glad that Heath is giving you comfort at this very difficult time for you. Thank you for sharing this with us.

My thoughts are with you and your family...

Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Ellemeno on April 27, 2008, 10:10:20 am
Barb, I'm sad to hear about your dad, glad to see you here.  :-*
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: MaineWriter on April 27, 2008, 10:39:39 am
Personally, I think Heath has been dropping in on lots of folks--he's been very present in my mind the past week or so. If folks remember, he came to me on January 24th and we had a nice conversation (the little quote in my signature line comes from that). The other night he was back and he told me again, he didn't leave to make us all sad. I told him, "I know that, but lots of folks are still having a hard time dealing with you being gone, myself included." He just nodded and said he understood.

Barb, I am glad he found his way to you. I am so sorry for your dad, but thank God for hospice!

Hugs,

Leslie
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: souxi on April 27, 2008, 11:00:06 am
I hope no one shoots me for this, but here goes anyway. I honestly think, that all these dreams of Heath are just that, dreams. Most of you who have said that Heath appeared to you have always been in bed when this happens and it,s always at night right? So presumably you arn,t sitting up in bed with a cup of coffee reading a book, your asleep. I find it very hard to beleive that all of a sudden Heath Ledger just appears to random people, some of whom he doesn,t even know for a chat. Why does this always happen at night? Why not during the day when your doing the washing up or the shopping? Sorry but I,m very cynical about all this, and I simply think that your all having dreams about him, very vivid ones obviously but dreams nevertheless. Thats just my opinion and I honestly mean no offence to anyone so please don,t shoot me for it.  :)
BTW Barb I,m sorry to hear about your father.  Thats very sad, but at least his final days on this earth will be peacful and pain free, well I certainly hope so anyway.  :-*
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: ednbarby on April 27, 2008, 11:23:59 am
Oh, I don't think he's really visiting me.  I think my mind is conjuring him up for me to help get itself through this awful time - I think our minds are incredibly powerful things.  They can both destroy and resurrect us - sometimes both at once.

I had a dream several months after my Mom died that she and I were walking hand in hand in this field of vibrant green grass - green the very color of newly budded leaves in the Spring, and it was literally vibrating with the color.  She let go of my hand, and smiling back at me, disappeared into the mist.  I awoke feeling very much at peace - that she was free of pain and sorrow and in a better place.  And I didn't then and still don't believe in an afterlife, yet the dream gave me peace.  Again, my mind's way of easing the weight of missing her so much.  I feel that same peace now whenever I see that color for real.  I saw it in England several years later when I went there for the first time, and I saw it outside my parents' house, in the green of the newly budded leaves on all their many, many trees in their wooded lot.  A flood of peace flowed over me again when I saw it.  The mind is a powerful thing, and its drive to survive awful times can be incredibly strong.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: RouxB on April 27, 2008, 06:58:18 pm
Barb  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Next time he visits any one of you, can you please send him to my house? I'll PM you the address. I miss him so much, I, I, I just miss him so much.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: MaineWriter on April 27, 2008, 08:43:13 pm
Barb  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Next time he visits any one of you, can you please send him to my house? I'll PM you the address. I miss him so much, I, I, I just miss him so much.

I'll try to open a channel to you, Roux. We both have tattoos, I think that is a good way to bring him close.

Open your mind, open your heart. It works, it really does.

L
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Artiste on April 27, 2008, 08:50:28 pm
Heath is just part of happiness, even in dreams, and that is great!!
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: MaineWriter on April 27, 2008, 08:52:13 pm
I hope no one shoots me for this, but here goes anyway. I honestly think, that all these dreams of Heath are just that, dreams. Most of you who have said that Heath appeared to you have always been in bed when this happens and it,s always at night right? So presumably you arn,t sitting up in bed with a cup of coffee reading a book, your asleep. I find it very hard to beleive that all of a sudden Heath Ledger just appears to random people, some of whom he doesn,t even know for a chat. Why does this always happen at night? Why not during the day when your doing the washing up or the shopping? Sorry but I,m very cynical about all this, and I simply think that your all having dreams about him, very vivid ones obviously but dreams nevertheless. Thats just my opinion and I honestly mean no offence to anyone so please don,t shoot me for it.  :)
BTW Barb I,m sorry to hear about your father.  Thats very sad, but at least his final days on this earth will be peacful and pain free, well I certainly hope so anyway.  :-*

I am not going to shoot you Souxi, but maybe you should turn down your cynicism meter just a bit. There are things in the world we don't understand or know and when we open ourselves to the experience, we then learn things we didn't know.

At one point, when I was working on my fourth graduate degree, the professor drew a circle on the chalkboard. He divided it into quarters and then divided the first quarter in half (eighths). He pointed to the first eighth slice and said, "This is what you know." Then he pointed to the next eighth slice and said, "This is what you know you don't know." Then he pointed to the rest of the pie (three-quarters) and said, "This is what you don't know you don't know."  Realizing this changed my life.

And I have spent alot of time since then learning the things I didn't know I didn't know.

L
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Ellemeno on April 27, 2008, 10:49:55 pm

At one point, when I was working on my fourth graduate degree, the professor drew a circle on the chalkboard. He divided it into quarters and then divided the first quarter in half (eighths). He pointed to the first eighth slice and said, "This is what you know." Then he pointed to the next eighth slice and said, "This is what you know you don't know." Then he pointed to the rest of the pie (three-quarters) and said, "This is what you don't know you don't know."  Realizing this changed my life.

And I have spent alot of time since then learning the things I didn't know I didn't know.

L


I like this story, Leslie, thanks.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Brown Eyes on April 27, 2008, 11:54:41 pm
{{Barb}} I'm so sorry to hear about your father.  You and your family certainly have my best wishes.  :-*

I really like hearing these stories about people dreaming about Heath.  Somehow, even hearing these accounts is comforting to me.  Believe it or not, I don't think I've ever had a dream about Ennis or Jack... and not about Heath or Jake either.  I have had dreams about typing on BetterMost though!  Quite a lot.

I can't help but note the eery similarity between Brokies dreaming about Heath and Ennis dreaming about Jack.  :'( 

Sometimes I'm really struck by how many sad and almost spooky parallels between this real life situation and BBM.  It's like BBM was teaching us lots of lessons that have really come into play throughout this ordeal.





Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: optom3 on April 28, 2008, 12:13:45 am
I am so sorry to hear of your father.I do however believe that the human brain is a truly incredible thing.Way before I was an optometrist I was a clinical chemist.When doctors were choosing Patients for transplants,particularly bone marrow.They would always and I do mean always,chose the px with the most positive attitude.
These were cynical men of science,educated to the nth degree,But still convinced of the part the mind and attitude plays in the healing process.
That changed my attitude.Just a simple example,you go to work one day,and are feeling fine,then a couple of people mention that you look poorly/tired.
How many of us actually then start to feel sick or tired.The reverse being equally true.
If we allow ourselves to be open,the mind has the capacity to amaze.This from a once very cynical scientist.
I hope that your father is kept pain free,and comfortable.If he is given enough morphine he will be very calm and relaxed,as well as pain free.
I also believe your dreams are your brains way of bringing you some comfort.It is one reason I hate the fact that I am having to take sleeping tablets at the moment,no dreams.
Dreams can be restorative,in times of great stress.
Take good care of yourself and enjoy your dreams.If you ask Artiste nicely he migh send you a couple of nights of Jake.He often dreams of him.I am sure he could spare a night for you.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: souxi on April 28, 2008, 02:16:44 am
I am not going to shoot you Souxi, but maybe you should turn down your cynicism meter just a bit. There are things in the world we don't understand or know and when we open ourselves to the experience, we then learn things we didn't know.

At one point, when I was working on my fourth graduate degree, the professor drew a circle on the chalkboard. He divided it into quarters and then divided the first quarter in half (eighths). He pointed to the first eighth slice and said, "This is what you know." Then he pointed to the next eighth slice and said, "This is what you know you don't know." Then he pointed to the rest of the pie (three-quarters) and said, "This is what you don't know you don't know."  Realizing this changed my life.

And I have spent alot of time since then learning the things I didn't know I didn't know.

L

Yep I agree, there are things we don,t know and many things still to be discovered, but until someone can come up with some convincing "evidence" to convince me otherwise, I,m gonna remain cynical and sceptical. I stand by what I said, it was a dream, obviously very vivid, but a dream nevertheless. If it makes people happy to think they have truely had this experience well that,s fine. I have no problem with that atall. I shall exercise my righ to remain sceptical though, sorry. I take a LOT of convincing.  :)
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Penthesilea on April 28, 2008, 02:19:21 am
(((Barb)))

Thinking of you.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Kelda on April 28, 2008, 02:19:58 pm
Barb...

My thoughts are so with you right now..  :-* :-* :-* :-*

Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: ednbarby on April 28, 2008, 02:47:02 pm
As if to prove my theory to myself (and maybe that's all it was), Jack appeared in one of my dreams last night.  Not Jake - Jack.  And only Jack.  In all the Ennis/Jack dreams I had back in the day, they were always together, and in the periphery.  This was just Jack, talking to me, as if I were part of his family or a dear old friend.  It was 39-year-old Jack, pornstache and all, just as the Heath who has visited me is 28-year-old Heath, with longish hair and looking awfully tired.

I wish I could remember what Jack and I said to each other (or what Heath and I said to each other in those dreams, come to think of it), but my recollection of them now is fleeting.  I just remember him there, clear as day.  We were at a baseball game, and he threw out the first pitch, then came to sit next to me.  When he was sitting next to me, he was wearing the brownish hat he wore the last time he saw Ennis, and then, it would seem, a plaid shirt of some kind - very unlike Jack and more like Ennis/Jake.

It's official.  I'm completely insane.  But if this is what insanity means, I don't mind hanging out with it for a while.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: chefjudy on April 28, 2008, 05:03:52 pm

Barb - if you think that Jack and/or Heath have visited you, then perhaps they really have.  I can vouch for
visits from beyond.  Due to an automobile accident, my father was turned from a vibrant, funny, intelligent
hard working guy into a spastic-quadriplegic with no motor skills left.  After he died almost
20 years later, he would pop into my dreams.  And always he would be his normal, smiling
happy self with no afflictions or bodily impairments anywhere.  I always thought it was because
I wanted to remember him the way he was before the accident.  But the fact remains
that he did appear more than once to me.  I don't remember that he said anything, but several
of my siblings reported the same thing.

As Shakespeare wrote" there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in
your philosophy" - a line from Hamlet that I never forgot.....................

Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Brown Eyes on April 28, 2008, 08:38:20 pm

As Shakespeare wrote" there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in
your philosophy" - a line from Hamlet that I never forgot.....................



That really is a tremendous quotation judy!  :-*


Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: RouxB on April 28, 2008, 10:38:13 pm
It is Heath's "moving" that was the catalyst for me to look beyond what I "know" to be true. Hearing of others' dreams about him and about Michelle's visits with him (don't know how true that is) gives me enormous-and I do mean BIG-comfort. Intellectually, I believe there exists an entire world comprised of what I don't know and what I don't know I don't know but emotionally my tendency was towards skepticism. Heath has completely turned that around and now I totally embrace all things being possible. In the halcyon days of BbM, I dreamed of E&J pretty much every night. Not so much anymore and never H & J.  But H is on my mind all the time- I am just trying to move that to the next level, whatever that may be.

Leslie, I had my tattoo tweaked and now it is just about just right.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Brown Eyes on May 19, 2008, 10:04:32 am


OK, so I'm here to report on a really unusual Heath-related dream that I had last night.  It's unusual in lots of ways... and one of which is that I very rarely remember my dreams at all.  But, this one was very vivid and very cool. 

In the dream I was walking through a big gallery filled with lots of contemporary art of all sorts of different styles, sizes and colors.  And all the pieces were listed on the gallery wall as being by a wide variety of different artists.  But, as I walked through the room and looked at each work, I kept having epiphanies that each work had been mis-attributed by whoever hung the art on the walls.  As I walked along, I disovered that each of the (very different looking) works of art were in fact made by Heath Ledger.  So, in the process of this I felt like I was discovering that Heath was secretly a really talented painter and got all excited about the idea of collecting his art.

Anyway, that was the gist of it. There was more to it than that, but that's the basic outline.  Do any Heathens out there know if Heath ever made any attempts at studio art?


Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Ellemeno on May 19, 2008, 10:55:48 am

OK, so I'm here to report on a really unusual Heath-related dream that I had last night.  It's unusual in lots of ways... and one of which is that I very rarely remember my dreams at all.  But, this one was very vivid and very cool. 

In the dream I was walking through a big gallery filled with lots of contemporary art of all sorts of different styles, sizes and colors.  And all the pieces were listed on the gallery wall as being by a wide variety of different artists.  But, as I walked through the room and looked at each work, I kept having epiphanies that each work had been mis-attributed by whoever hung the art on the walls.  As I walked along, I disovered that each of the (very different looking) works of art were in fact made by Heath Ledger.  So, in the process of this I felt like I was discovering that Heath was secretly a really talented painter and got all excited about the idea of collecting his art.

Anyway, that was the gist of it. There was more to it than that, but that's the basic outline.  Do any Heathens out there know if Heath ever made any attempts at studio art?





That's a great dream, Amanda.  Coincidentally, Mini-Meno and I just read a book called "Museum Trip" yesterday, by Barbara Lehman, where a kid walks through a museum and incidental to the story, there are renderings of many famous paintings and sculptures lining the walls.  The story never mentions the art, but I recognized most of them.  I'm sure you would recognize all of them.

Anyway, in terms of visual art by Heath, I think of the five videos of his that we know he directed.  The four I've seen in their entirety have quite a graphic arts flavor to them.


Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: sel on May 19, 2008, 01:10:57 pm
Anyway, that was the gist of it. There was more to it than that, but that's the basic outline.  Do any Heathens out there know if Heath ever made any attempts at studio art?
I can't remember where I have read it but I swear some time back to have read something about him saying something along the line of "If my career isn't successful I can always paint".
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Meryl on May 19, 2008, 04:37:35 pm
I also remember reading that Heath had done quite a bit of painting.  He was a real Renaissance man.  8)

Amanda, that's a great dream, not only because you're in the art field yourself, but because of all the attention given lately to the portrait of Heath by Vincent Fantauzzo.  On a psychic level, I think we all absorbed Heath's intense creative energy.  You translated it beautifully in your own terms.

Some time ago, I had a brief dream about Heath.  We were friends, and he was showing me the cover of a new book about film.  The cover was a photo of an audience listening to a lecture.  Right in the middle sat Heath, and I was next to him.  Needless to say, I woke up very happy.  8)
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Penthesilea on May 20, 2008, 09:50:48 am
Needless to say, I woke up very happy.  8)

The same happened to me last week. I also dreamed of Heath and woke up feeling happy. I don't remember the dream, only how I saw him standing there (don't know where) and that we talked.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Fran on May 20, 2008, 02:34:38 pm
I can't remember where I have read it but I swear some time back to have read something about him saying something along the line of "If my career isn't successful I can always paint".

I found this at mtv.com (http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1580272/story.jhtml):

Ledger also enjoyed painting.

"I love what I do, but if it all came crashing down, it wouldn't be the end of the world," he told The Sunday Times in 2000. "I'd just sit on my arse and paint."

Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: sel on May 21, 2008, 04:16:03 am

I found this at mtv.com (http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1580272/story.jhtml):

Ledger also enjoyed painting.

"I love what I do, but if it all came crashing down, it wouldn't be the end of the world," he told The Sunday Times in 2000. "I'd just sit on my arse and paint."


That's it Fran! that's what I read! Thank you for finding it.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Fran on May 21, 2008, 01:30:59 pm
That's it Fran! that's what I read! Thank you for finding it.

You're welcome.  :)
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: BelAir on May 24, 2008, 11:56:12 pm
you know, i'm slightly surprised this thread isn't even a month old yet.  i would have thought lots of folks were dreaming of Heath.  maybe people are just reluctant to talk about their dreams. 

back in the brokeback fever heyday, i never really dreamt of jack and ennis.  i fell asleep with them on my mind, woke up thinking about them, but it wasn't really dreaming... just an ongoing continuation of the previous night's thoughts.  i did have an occasional jake and heath dream.  they were never in my dreams together and the dreams had nothing to do with their lives, only mine.  my 'favorite' heath dream is one when he cured me of cancer.  I had horrible cancer of the mouth (in my dream), and somehow, he made it all go away.

one of the more recent dreams (i.e since his death) - i spoke with him, like it was a regular day, about how he was doing, and all in all, things seemed fine, not perfect, but fine...  later on in the dream, i was talking with Leslie, who had spoken with him separately and we were sort of comparing notes... checking that we were both satisfied with how he was doing.  and we were.

the other night - i just had scattering images of dreams (no true plot per se) but I woke up thinking, 'oh, heath was there in one of the scenes'

...

Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: ednbarby on May 26, 2008, 09:38:43 am
My Dad is doing much better lately - he may even recover, to the furthest extent he can, from this last round of chemo after all.  Not so strangely enough, Heath has not appeared in my dreams in weeks.

Jake has, though.  But that's a whole other thing.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Penthesilea on May 26, 2008, 12:58:18 pm
My Dad is doing much better lately - he may even recover, to the furthest extent he can, from this last round of chemo after all.  Not so strangely enough, Heath has not appeared in my dreams in weeks.,

Hey Barb,
that's good to hear :). I send furthermore good wishes to you and your dad.


Quote
Jake has, though.  But that's a whole other thing.

Enjoy!
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on December 30, 2008, 11:19:55 am
He won't let go..

Heath being in the top stories of many 2008 reviews (in magazines, online etc. ..) it comes all back. Two nights ago - I was in Paris - I dreamt of Heath again. This time I (or, not sure if it really was me) and a director who did direct Heath in a film (but I don't know which director - it wasn't Ang Lee), sat together in a dark room watching scenes of films with Heath and each time his face appeared it would change into the face of other actors (Johnny Depp etc) and the director would each time comment on how good these other actors would be (and how they would look like Heath) in representing Heath's character in that scene.. In my dream, I would never agree with the director..

Also, what I sometimes do in a crowd on the street when I see a person that resembles Heath, I think about what actor would one day 'become' the next Heath.. But of course, noone will ever replace him. Still, it so bugs me that he's gone. .. It bugs me so much. I still feel angry really. It's probably a mean thing to say, but I'm angry because he was so careless about his sleeping problem and all the medication he felt he needed to come to some kind of rest and peace. But in all this delirium I feel he did not think about what the outcome could be, especially with respect to his daughter. I feel terrible for Michelle and Mathilda. He should have gotten his act together, for Mathilda. Especially for her.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!..

It's been almost a year now, that he's gone..  :'(

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Penthesilea on December 30, 2008, 11:28:49 am
(((Jude)))
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Kelda on December 30, 2008, 12:02:07 pm
He won't let go..

Heath being in the top stories of many 2008 reviews (in magazines, online etc. ..) it comes all back. Two nights ago - I was in Paris - I dreamt of Heath again. This time I (or, not sure if it really was me) and a director who did direct Heath in a film (but I don't know which director - it wasn't Ang Lee), sat together in a dark room watching scenes of films with Heath and each time his face appeared it would change into the face of other actors (Johnny Depp etc) and the director would each time comment on how good these other actors would be (and how they would look like Heath) in representing Heath's character in that scene.. In my dream, I would never agree with the director..

Also, what I sometimes do in a crowd on the street when I see a person that resembles Heath, I think about what actor would one day 'become' the next Heath.. But of course, noone will ever replace him. Still, it so bugs me that he's gone. .. It bugs me so much. I still feel angry really. It's probably a mean thing to say, but I'm angry because he was so careless about his sleeping problem and all the medication he felt he needed to come to some kind of rest and peace. But in all this delirium I feel he did not think about what the outcome could be, especially with respect to his daughter. I feel terrible for Michelle and Mathilda. He should have gotten his act together, for Mathilda. Especially for her.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!..

It's been almost a year now, that he's gone..  :'(

j.U.d.E.

Hey Jude.
 :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Ellemeno on December 31, 2008, 07:06:59 am
I join the j.U.d.E hug and kiss club too.


Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on December 31, 2008, 08:57:25 am
:-* :D :)  :P :-* :) :D :-* :-* :laugh: :-* :-*

Ohoh! Hugs and kisses back at you all!!
Hope you are having a great last day of the year!

 :-*  :) :-*  :D :-* :-* :) :-*  :-*  8):-* :-*

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: BelAir on January 02, 2009, 11:33:28 pm
I join the j.U.d.E hug and kiss club too.




me three!

 :)
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Ellemeno on January 05, 2009, 08:06:44 pm
I took a nap this afternoon, and dreamed that someone (maybe Celeste) and I went to the little deli/snack bar downstairs from the office of The Masses.  She was inside, seeing if she could find out anything interesting.  I was leaning in the open doorway, looking out, and suddenly realized that Heath had surely been in this doorway many times.  I suddenly felt weak, excited, thrilled, and hoped to see him while we were there.  In the dream I didn't remember that he'd died.


Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: BelAir on January 05, 2009, 09:01:16 pm
I took a nap this afternoon, and dreamed that someone (maybe Celeste) and I went to the little deli/snack bar downstairs from the office of The Masses.  She was inside, seeing if she could find out anything interesting.  I was leaning in the open doorway, looking out, and suddenly realized that Heath had surely been in this doorway many times.  I suddenly felt weak, excited, thrilled, and hoped to see him while we were there.  In the dream I didn't remember that he'd died.




I am curious whether you were happy or sad when you woke up...
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Ellemeno on January 06, 2009, 01:52:01 am
I am curious whether you were happy or sad when you woke up...

Very happy.  Til I remembered reality.  I can't believe reality.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on January 06, 2009, 07:00:32 am
Very happy.  Til I remembered reality.  I can't believe reality.
Elle, neither can I! Why did this had to happen? Everyday I ask that question. So much he could have done.. and we'll never see it.

It's weird that we have these dreams.. I have never ever dreamt about any other actor in my life. Have you? He had and still has so much effect on us. Why did this have to happen?..

Fabienne, your message about dreadding to log in on the 22nd gave me goose-bumps..

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on January 06, 2009, 09:29:53 am
Also, this year he would have turned 30. It's just so odd to know that this will never happen.. Soon Jake will be older than Heath..  :-\

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Monika on January 06, 2009, 10:06:58 am
Also, this year he would have turned 30. It's just so odd to know that this will never happen.. Soon Jake will be older than Heath..  :-\

j.U.d.E.
:-\
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: optom3 on January 06, 2009, 10:16:42 am
Also, this year he would have turned 30. It's just so odd to know that this will never happen.. Soon Jake will be older than Heath..  :-\

j.U.d.E.

Now that  is very sad, somehow it would almost be easier to bear if it had not been a preventable accident. That is the bit that I really struggle with. Back to dreams, I had a really odd one the other night.I was not going to post it as it seemed so silly.

One of Heath's friends had told him about Bettermost and about the Florida mini brokie meeting. The postings on the site had continued, with me arranging to go to New York with the love of my life (long story) and lots of people sayingdon't do it. While there we went to the cafe that has just opened, and which was his project. We sat drinking wine at the chess table, when in walked Heath. He looked as he did in AKT, but wearing torn jeans and a grey and white striped Tshirt. He was wearing all the leather bracelets I loved on him.

He heard our accents and asked if we were from England, then I started to tell him about my Scottish ancestry, and he told me about his. He and I were smoking, which was not allowed, but as it was his cafe, no one said anything. The love of my life was sitting there fuming and eventually stormed out. I woke up and was hit by a massive wave of sadness. Too silly really.

It was the same sort of sadness that you get when you have broken up with someone.Go to sleep and escape the sadness for a while. You wake up and for a few glorious seconds you forget, then wham, reality bites.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: LauraGigs on January 06, 2009, 01:41:40 pm
Actually I think that dream is really cool Fiona!  A good story with lots of symbolism, Heath has all his proper Heath-y accoutrements, et cetera.  And getting to sit with him and discuss what you have in common? Sounds pretty sweet.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: optom3 on January 06, 2009, 02:26:56 pm
Actually I think that dream is really cool Fiona!  A good story with lots of symbolism, Heath has all his proper Heath-y accoutrements, et cetera.  And getting to sit with him and discuss what you have in common? Sounds pretty sweet.

It was cute.
I know where it came from. I had read about the chess table in his cafe/restaurant project, then later I had been telling Mandy about a very tenuous link between me and Heath, sad but true!!!  His mother was from a Scottish clan who fought with the clan I come from against the McLeod's, in a famous battle.So I told her indirectly I was linked to Heath !!!!
Coincidentally, the love of my life,(see first post and reason I left England)  will be in Florida from, wait for it, Jan 22nd to Jan 24th.We were going to meet, then I summoned all the courage I have and said no.I knew if I saw him one more time, it would just hurt me so badly it would take me centuries to recover.I have 3 amazing children who have made their lives here.It would appear, no matter how much I wish otherwise, I am a mother first.I can tell you that hurts, particularly when they are hideous to me.
Somehow it all became linked in my mind and hence the dream. It was a real bummer when I awoke and arrived back on planet earth though.It was one of those dreams which seem so real, they are almost tangible.
Now Jan 22nd is going to deliver a double blow, I am considering getting extremely drunk !!!!! No correction, I am going to get very drunk, no bout adout it !!!!!
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on January 07, 2009, 03:19:40 am

                            fOR YOU FRIEND


                  [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq2yer7EMjk&watch_response[/youtube]



                                                             :) :) :) :) :)
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: optom3 on January 07, 2009, 08:40:25 am
Thankyou so much, that is one I had not come accross before. Lovely video and song.Let's hope we all find that rainbow one day.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: BelAir on January 09, 2009, 07:31:01 pm
Well, here's mine...

what I wrote the morning after... (with a few edits for clarity)

1/8/09
I had a Heath dream.  We were at a house a la Laurel Canyon or Rose Bowl, some other people were there - no one from real life that I knew - and Heath was there and we were all watching The Dark Knight.  Heath was in the house watching too, sort of like he was just fresh from playing The Joker, like after a play or something.  (He had the shoulder length sweaty hair and t shirt, but no make-up or costume.)  And in the dream, it's not that he was dead, but I knew that once the movie/night was over, I would not get to see him again.  And in the dream, I kept getting frustrated because people were interrupting/getting in the way of me watching both the him and the movie (I was trying to watch him watch the movie).  I wanted to be able to see him, and at the same time be able to think, "This is the last time I will see you."  But it never worked out because of all the distractions.  And in the dream, I never got that moment.  The dream ended because the alarm clock went off...    Though it was a sad, unfulfilling dream for me, Heath himself was not sad, etc.  It was all my worries, not his.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on January 09, 2009, 10:20:11 pm
Well, here's mine...

what I wrote the morning after... (with a few edits for clarity)

1/8/09
I had a Heath dream.  We were at a house a la Laurel Canyon or Rose Bowl, some other people were there - no one from real life that I knew - and Heath was there and we were all watching The Dark Knight.  Heath was in the house watching too, sort of like he was just fresh from playing The Joker, like after a play or something.  (He had the shoulder length sweaty hair and t shirt, but no make-up or costume.)  And in the dream, it's not that he was dead, but I knew that once the movie/night was over, I would not get to see him again.  And in the dream, I kept getting frustrated because people were interrupting/getting in the way of me watching both the him and the movie (I was trying to watch him watch the movie).  I wanted to be able to see him, and at the same time be able to think, "This is the last time I will see you."  But it never worked out because of all the distractions.  And in the dream, I never got that moment.  The dream ended because the alarm clock went off...    Though it was a sad, unfulfilling dream for me, Heath himself was not sad, etc.  It was all my worries, not his.

That's sad and beautiful all at once. He had no worries in your dream..

Have you ever met him in real life?

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: BelAir on January 09, 2009, 10:54:17 pm
That's sad and beautiful all at once. He had no worries in your dream..

Have you ever met him in real life?

j.U.d.E.

nope, j.U.d.E.

Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on January 12, 2009, 08:02:31 pm
nope, j.U.d.E.

Me neither and it's one big regreat! Especially since I had the chance at least to see him at the BAFTAs in 2006. I was in London and we had found a place near Leicester Square within the crowd. I did see Jake Gyllenhaal (took pictures) and Ang Lee, but Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams mysteriously managed to enter the Odeon Theatre without passing in front of us.. There was only one way to get into the Theatre and we were standing where we could see everybody walking passed us, but somehowr Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams managed to get in some other way. I blame the heavy rain - typical! - and I guess they did let people in somehow, passing the journalist stand, but not the rest of the crowd.... I saw them from afar with their umbrella (at least I think I did), but it was dark and too far away to take pictures. :-\ :'( :(

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: j.U.d.E. on January 12, 2009, 08:53:28 pm
I'm not sure if this fits this thread, but I don't know where else to post it.

This week-end I re-watched "Wedding Wars" - for those who don't know it, it's about a gay couple (Shel and Ted), one of which (Shel) is going to be the wedding planner for his slightly homophobic brother (Ben). It turns out, that Ben, is all against agreeing with giving equal rights to same-sex couples to marry (Ben is marrying the governor's daughter, who is running for re-election - the governor, not the daughter). Shel is unhappy about this and goes on strike. It threatens the couple's wedding and the governor's re-election. Anyway, at some point, when Shel first starts picketing all by himself, in front of the governor's house, in the middle of nowhere, his closeted boyfriend Ted makes fun of Shel, as Shel is planning to camp outside and keep going for as long as it takes. Ted, then says to Shel, that it will be hard sleeping outdoors, especially since Shel hates camping and especially since Heath Ledger is not going to come join him and cuddle up with him....... Aaaaaaawh..

The strike than hits the entire US and it does remind you of the Prop8 demonstrations, even though the movie was made earlier. Quite topical though.

It's a sweet movie and well-acted in my opinion.

j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Dreaming of Heath...
Post by: Penthesilea on January 13, 2009, 02:02:37 am
Ted, then says to Shel, that it will be hard sleeping outdoors, especially since Shel hates camping and especially since Heath Ledger is not going to come join him and cuddle up with him....... Aaaaaaawh..
j.U.d.E.

 :) Love that line.
Guess it would have thrown me, if I were caught unawares in a movie by it.