BetterMost Community Blogs => Our Daily Thoughts - The BetterMost Community Blog Network => Skipping Stones Across the Pond of Life => Topic started by: Phillip Dampier on February 15, 2006, 03:54:26 pm
Title: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 15, 2006, 03:54:26 pm
For those interested in learning about the daily ups and down of getting this site off the ground, I present my periodic "blog" or journal about its progress.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 15, 2006, 04:05:35 pm
As of writing, this is day four of BetterMost (Wednesday). As you can see, things are now slowly evolving in the forums on here as the site look and feel gets tweaked and I get the hang of the forum software.
Challenges:
Lots of guests but not very many people seem to take the time to register for the forums. It takes about two minutes to do, but people don't seem to be doing it. This is contrary to my usual personal experiences - I guess I am much faster about registering. For every one person registered, I see about nine unregistered visitors, so the site is seeing some browsing.
Although you aren't seeing huge mega-messages from me in the last day or so, it doesn't mean I am ignoring the site. Behind the scenes, I am learning about how to deal with the advertising elements of the system, which might one day defray bandwidth costs, as well as just getting the site listed and recognized by Google. It's actually harder than I thought it would be.
Figuring out forum formats. I appreciate the input from some of you about the site and what you'd like to see. It's like the mountain at the top of the screen - wide open and still sorta empty, so I can try all sorts of things to make this place work for each of us.
Site Promotion. I am not one to want to go out and be sleazy about promoting this site by flooding message forums with promotions for it. If you like what you see and participate in forums where people are discussing the movie and how it affects them, let people know about BetterMost. Better yet, write some messages on here yourself so we can start building some traffic.
Plans:
For the rest of the week, I'll be focusing on site promotion, tweaking the forums further, finding some new Brokeback movie resources (if you can follow my general format example when posting your own, that will be helpful to people looking for something specific), and starting to outline some tutorials you can follow on using the forum software. I'll also be participating in the discussions that do occur here.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 17, 2006, 01:13:07 am
It's just turned Friday morning here in western NY (well, just after midnight anyway) and we're headed into the first full weekend the site has been online. Hopefully I will be able to do more posting over the weekend.
A major windstorm is set to strike the northeast tonight and early tomorrow and the weather people claim there could be widespread power outages if trees take out the power or, eeks... the cable modem. If I suddenly go missing, we can blame the weather.
Some users from Annie Proulx's own forum will likely take some time to stop by over the weekend on the forums. It will be interesting to see if we can pick up a few longtime fans of Annie's writings to help give us some perspective there.
Also, it's day six and Google still hasn't found the site. Argh....
On the advice of some web geniuses, http://www.beyondbrokebackmountain.com has been registered and is a duplicate of BetterMost. It's part of the effort to help properly brand the site. Either URL gets you to the same place.
It was also nice to pick up a few new users today. If I can add a few a day, I'm happy with that.
More from me by the weekend.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 19, 2006, 11:30:08 pm
We are now one week into the experiment that is BetterMost. We finally turned up in a search engine today, albeit buried at #30 unless you get real specific - Yahoo! now has us indexed (as well as the search engines that rely on Yahoo!'s engine). I was surprised by that because Yahoo! was notoriously difficult to get a listing on for a long time. Google continues to be our problem - their search engine still hasn't found the site.
Thanks to 25 folks who joined during the first week. Of course, keeping you coming back for more will be the ongoing challenge of the site. I've tried to bring some content and projects in for our first week, especially in the forum for moving beyond the film.
Writing messages inspires others to write - we definitely need to see some more participation if we can get this thing jump started. I am noticing a definite fall off in traffic on some of the more general Brokeback movie forums as people begin to move on. If you participate on one and want to mention this site, that would be great. I am always uncomfortable joining forums elsewhere just to push my own site. It's almost spam like, and while I have contributed my fair share to other forums about the movie as a whole, I don't want to invest a huge amount of energy on those when I need to devote it to this own site. So if you can spread the word, that would be a great way to help the site. Remember, we're bettermost.net.
I hope week two will see some more messages from people other than me. ;)
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 21, 2006, 03:31:15 pm
I am happy to see we finally managed to make it into Google, albeit we're buried unless you know to type BetterMost. Rankings go up based on people linking to the site, so if there is an appropriate site you visit that has links to other BBM resources, ask them to list us!
I'm also happy to see some more message traffic starting. Keep it up. I am working behind the scenes to put together Brokeback Mountain Radio, which will let you stream music from the soundtrack and music I am searching for that fits the mood and theme of the film. To start, I'm going to blend a lot of instrumentals in and see how that goes. It will definitely be more background than foreground music to start. If you have any music requests, let me know and I'll see if I can fit it in.
I am assembling music right now, then have to re-encode it, log each song into the rights payment system (this will be a legal service) and get the stream up and running and linked through here.
I'm also working on an interview and some side issues.
I'm not seeing people doing some homework on the Now What forum. Remember, we don't simply want the site to be about the movie itself. Talk about the film will eventually die down as time passes. This site's relevance to people will depend entirely on carrying things forward from the film. We can talk about BBM, but let's also keep our eye on going forward.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 02, 2006, 08:01:09 pm
Problems problems problems with Live 365 since last night. Their customers are lighting the torches as forming a mob as I write this. They changed their DNS address last night (the numeric address that ties into live365.com) and it's taking forever for Internet service providers to update their address tables. Until they do, the site is not reachable. Road Runner customers, like myself, will likely be among the last to see the update. Your ability to get to BBM Radio depends on your ISP right now.
I continue to update content on the home page of this site, so I recommend people bookmark http://www.bettermost.net (http://www.bettermost.net) and not just the forum. Usually content posted there crosses over to the forums, but not always. The home page is important because that seems to be where we generate the most revenue to help pay for the site. I try and keep such things an unobtrusive as possible, but I will be tinkering around with them in the days ahead.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 08, 2006, 02:01:42 am
An update - I evidently got the dander up of one of the administrators on another forum in promoting Brokeback Mountain Radio because the person thought it was some giant profit making venture and I was spamming the board. :-[
I want to bring up a disclaimer here about the whole concept of advertising and whether BetterMost is some future Fortune 500 powerhouse.
First, as to our own site here, this is a labor of love and some therapy as well. The ads that you see do not even begin to cover the costs of hosting the site itself. I doubt they ever will.
Second, as to live365 which hosts Brokeback Mountain Radio for me, all of the advertising you may see there when launching the player or listening to the stream is their own. Not only don't we receive anything from it, we pay a monthly fee out of pocket just to bring the service to you. I don't have any control over the ads you may see or hear on live365. That is just part of the cost of having a site there. In return, the artists and publishers get compensated with royalty payments and we are in full compliance with the law respecting copyrights.
Without contributions, this place will almost certainly never pay for itself, and that's okay right now because this represents one of my goals that I've talked about in other forums on BetterMost. It's about committing to change and using the emotional energy from the movie to help propel me forward, and that is what BetterMost is helping me do. It's also therapy for me because I have you folks to help support me and vice-versa.
I have never been a person comfortable with shilling my own projects, especially at the expense of anyone else. I provided a similar explanation to what I am writing you guys to the forum administrator in hopes of clearing the air, while respecting their decision at the same time - I am a guest there like on any forum I might visit during my day.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 11, 2006, 09:01:45 pm
I am going to begin looking for some enhancements to the forum here thanks to some suggestions.
First, I'll be looking at installing a chat module into the system. I'm not sure whether this will offer instant messages or a full fledged group chat room system yet. I have to see what is open to the current version of this software. There seems some interest in it so I'm game.
Second, there will be some look and feel changes to the system going in over the next week.
A reminder that people should bookmark the www.bettermost.net address and not the forum itself because new features, articles, and enhancements will be rolled out on the front page and not always noted in the forums.
I have been a bit quieter in the forums for the last day or so because I have been dealing with some side effects of a shot I got in my pinkie related to an auto accident I was in last year that broke my wrist. There are some complications from a treatment I got Friday and I have been a bit out of it.
A lot of people have been asking me about Stephanie Miller since I posted some audio in the Resources forum. She is a highly entertaining liberal talk show host heard on several radio stations across the country. Her show is about 1.5 years old now and she has a weekday three hour program. He co-hosts are Jim Ward who does most of the impressions/voices and Chris Lavoie who is the producer and usually the guy laughing and telling Stephanie she's gone too far.
Her program has three regular segments, one in each hour:
Right wing world - a review of the most outrageous things heard on Fox News Channel and right wing talk radio Stand up news - a review of news reports from around the world done with a comedic bent Entertainment news - stories about what's going on in Hollywood, where the show originates
Saturday is the quietest day of the week here on BetterMost because people are actually not sitting in front of their computers. If you've run out of messages to read in the forums, here is Friday's Stephanie Miller program (all three hours without commercials) provided as an introductory sampler. Enjoy....
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: BBMGrandma on March 12, 2006, 07:46:22 am
Philip...I just found Stephanie Miller on my local AirAmerica Station....Saturdays 6-9 am!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY....she's GREAT!! That's my favorite station ANYWAY...just have never caught her show. Saturdays 6-9 I'm usually Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'in!! Thanks for telling us about her!!
Nancy
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 12, 2006, 11:08:28 pm
Philip...I just found Stephanie Miller on my local AirAmerica Station....Saturdays 6-9 am!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY....she's GREAT!! That's my favorite station ANYWAY...just have never caught her show. Saturdays 6-9 I'm usually Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'in!! Thanks for telling us about her!!
Nancy
I am a big believer in making sure we don't get too heavy and emotional around here. Sometimes we need some good laughs. If you really like her, you can subscribe to her download/podcast service which will deliver every show to you. Unfortunately, she's a bit pricey, but if you get hooked, it's worth it. I suspect she'll eventually go daily on your local station. A lot of Air America Radio affiliates are replacing Jerry Springer or Mark Maron's morning show with Stephanie Miller because her show works better in morning drive.
My other favorite show is Randi Rhodes, who is heard on Air America. Once you get over her accent (allow seven days), she is a real firebrand and entertaining too. Now her show can be downloaded for free, but she's been on vacation all this past week so if you want to hear her starting with Monday's show, check out the link below to download the commercial free version. She does four hours a day!
http://www.randirhodesarchives.com/
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 12, 2006, 11:09:46 pm
Whew... a marathon posting session tonight. At least four hours worth of writing, and I'm still not even into the Safe Haven forum yet. I think I'll rotate the order of replying to posts from now on so I get a chance to get to every forum!
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: BBMGrandma on March 13, 2006, 03:47:25 am
Randi Rhodes....she's my HEROINE!! I adore that gal. She TELLS IT like it is....big time!!! And she does get 'randy' LOL GREAT laughs!!!
Title: Re: The Media & Me
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 14, 2006, 12:34:38 am
Yes, Randi is great when she is fired up about something. You can also read her moods real easily and know when she is getting tired and burned out because the show suffers. But then she goes on vacation and comes back and bam... she's back. She was never better in the days after Katrina hit New Orleans.
I was just spending time writing messages tonight with Rita "Sucrets" Cosby blaring at me on MSNBC. My God that woman has a voice for newspaper writing....
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: BBMGrandma on March 14, 2006, 05:16:53 am
I was just spending time writing messages tonight with Rita "Sucrets" Cosby blaring at me on MSNBC. My God that woman has a voice for newspaper writing....
I spend the whole time....clearing my throat...Whenever I listen to "Raspy Rita" I have to admit though...she DOES get her job done.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: iristarr on March 14, 2006, 01:48:32 pm
OK, let me in on it -- who is Raspy Rita? Iris
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: BBMGrandma on March 14, 2006, 04:07:41 pm
LOL Iris....Rita Cosby....a reporter on MSNBC!! She always sound as though she has a froggy in her throat. It's sooo irritating to listen to...but I like the stuff she reports.
and BTW....Hi Iris.....HUGSSSSSSSSS....Nancy
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 14, 2006, 04:38:31 pm
Oh gosh... Rita Cosby is on weeknights on MSNBC at 9:00pm ET with endless reports about missing white women, people who fell off cruise ships, and a murder victim in NYC... night after night, week after week, month after month. Her voice is utter torture... something wrong with that woman. A far better choice is Keith Olbermann's Countdown from 8-9pm ET. It's news and fun... and picking on Bill O'Reilly. Great stuff.
Title: Can't Hardly Wait for Weird Science Before Breakfast Club
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 14, 2006, 04:55:24 pm
I had occasion last night to waste two hours of my life on Can't Hardly Wait, one of perhaps one jillion teenager-coming-of-age films. There were actually a few laughs which kept me on the channel, but when it was all over, I thought here we have another example of Hollywood excess. The same basic premise done over and over again. My generation's teen angst film was probably The Breakfast Club or another one of John Hughes' endless tales of high school drama. But it really doesn't matter because it's always the same premise. Even Weird Science had the same basic concept wrapped into a quasi sci-fi twist.
Recipe:
Jocks Social Outcasts Cheerleaders Drug Users Sluts One or more untouchables (fat, giant braces, bad teeth, whatever) Clean cut innocent youth
Mix them all together into the same tired cliches, throw them in a party or force them in a room together and watch in amazement as they come to understand their nuances and vulnerabilities. Oh please.
Can't Hardly Wait was another one of these and it had a brooding, bug-eyed Ethan Embry (pre-Dragnet for TV) fawning throughout the movie for the best girl in school who was just dumped by the biggest jock. Embry's character got the cynical and ironic social outcast best friend to pal with, and we also got to watch the head of the physics club come alive and gain acceptance after getting tanked and letting loose. Along the way, we get to see everyone's vulnerabilities exposed and the jock becomes the loser and the loser become popular.
The Breakfast Club confined its angst with a smaller group held for detention, but it was the same basic premise.
I notice that it is rare for a gay character to appear in one of these films - maybe they were smart enough to skip the whole affair and go to the movies instead! But I'm not sure if these movies are designed to echo high school life or reinforce the expected social order of the pre-college years. I'm not thrilled with the message that social lubrication via spirits is the ticket to group acceptance either. But then I've always felt that way, even as a teenager. Yeah, that puts me in the Janeane Garofalo-outcast group, but that was okay with me back then. I've never been drunk (I despise the taste of alcohol, what can I say) not have I ever smoked, nor gotten high. It just never interested me.
Since we've been discussing the social messages of Brokeback, it reminded me to write about the other white meat - teen angst movies.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: iristarr on March 14, 2006, 08:41:40 pm
So is Raspy Rita on FM radio? Can you tell me what frequency? only listen to one or two radio stations and am quite ignorant of what is out there anymore.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 15, 2006, 09:12:35 am
Lynne, she's on MSNBC, a basic cable news channel. If you have cable, MSNBC is likely to be a part of it.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 17, 2006, 05:43:36 pm
Been on the phone with Idaho today finalizing his computer configuration. Everything seems to be going okay. The last thing is the ISP. That might be done tonight if we can find a few in his area.
This weekend, I will be fooling around with some things on the forum. I might experiment moving the advertising on the forum pages to appear beneath the first post in a message instead of on the side. The ads will be smaller then. I will also ask John to help me with the chat room module. I hope to also begin introducing some of the nice pics a lot of you have sent.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: BBMGrandma on March 17, 2006, 09:34:14 pm
Oooooooo PHILIP....are you gonna make us feel around in the dark again....on this forum? LOL....just kidding!! Whatever you do it FINE with me. And...I will feel as though I've died and gone to BrokeBackMountain with a chat room for all of us!!! Now...once again...do you EVER get any sleep? LOL
Hugsssssssss....Nancy :-* ps....can't wait for Idaho to join us. BTW...did you EVER get my PM about Idaho and his phone number?
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 23, 2006, 05:42:00 pm
As our street gets completely rebuilt, the local power utility has arranged some delightful power cuts as they upgrade our facilities over the next week or so. They managed to exceed their outage schedule this morning, with no power from just after 9am until just after 3pm, and this is anticipated to recur. Obviously with no power I can't be on the site (or any site), so I am behind in updating some things which I'll have to try and handle during the evenings.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: BBMGrandma on March 23, 2006, 11:06:45 pm
Hi PHilip....
I've been spending a lot of time in San Francisco with my DEAREST friend in the world....who is VERY VERY ill. He's in intensive care....and being tested for all sorts of things. He's gay...and I've been SO fearful over the years about his having safe sex. Anyway...I haven't been spending too much time here the last few days. I'm soo tired and going to sleep early. The driving is so hectic...what with the traffic and such. I'll be back up to speed with postings and such....as SOON as I can!!
Please send some positive thoughts for my dear friend. I love him SOO much!!! :'(
HUggggggggggg.....Nancy
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 25, 2006, 08:21:55 pm
I've been spending a lot of time in San Francisco with my DEAREST friend in the world....who is VERY VERY ill. He's in intensive care....and being tested for all sorts of things. He's gay...and I've been SO fearful over the years about his having safe sex. Anyway...I haven't been spending too much time here the last few days. I'm soo tired and going to sleep early. The driving is so hectic...what with the traffic and such.
My best wishes and hopes for him (and you)! I see a lot of younger people who believe they are essentially indestructable and the concept of safer sex is not reaching them until someone has a disaster story who is near and dear to them.
Title: An Update
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 25, 2006, 08:26:35 pm
We've got another five weekdays of potential power cuts here during the daytime. It is really starting to cut into my time spent on the site here and reducing the time I can spend answering messages and writing articles. I'll be very glad when they are done messing with the electrical facilities. I was watching them last week and they are literally up on the top of the power poles taking a sledgehammer to those wooden branch-offs that they can hang wires on either side of the pole on.
| ----- <- the branch-off | |
It took them around six hours to knock off three of those off the poles, and cut the old power lines connected to them, tear off the old insulators and hardware, toss it on the ground, and then install new hardware and get the newly-strung power cables ready to go live. They have another 18 or so to go, and they turn the power off to the street while they are working on it.
What a mess.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 26, 2006, 11:15:56 pm
Spring is getting to be late here in western New York. It's still only around freezing and the sun is once again not out as much as it should be. I've been physically exhausted the last couple of days. I used to be able to be on here until 1-2am, but lately I'm barely making it to 11pm. Since I work from home, I normally attend to the forums and such during the day, but with the power issues that has gotten to be more difficult.
Today I was just physically blah. Headache earlier and just tired overall. Who knows why.
John is working on the chat room module, which is a few weeks late now. We decided to go with one not specifically written to work with this forum software, but it should still work okay. A change to the server needs to be made to allow it to be installed. It should pick up your existing handles when you enter the chat room. Otherwise it will be fairly self-explanatory.
I'm also putting up a Paypal donation link to help us defray some of the costs behind this site. I'd like to consider expanding Brokeback Mountain Radio to have three times the size of the playlist (to around 10-11 hours instead of the current three), but the cost will average $30 a month for that, and we'd need contributions to carry that forward. Inevitably, I am going to find some volunteer "DJ" types who I can bring together as a team so we can work on updating and freshening the service together instead of waiting for me to update the playlist every week or so. I'm a big believer in delegating things for the betterment of everyone.
I've noticing the continued trend of forum activity dropping off on most of the Brokeback Mountain forums. When the DVD comes out, that will probably change again.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Peter John Shields on March 27, 2006, 02:47:22 am
Hi Philip, It is the opposite here - Summer is still here in Melbourne, Australia. It is Summer here from October/November through to March/April - so we have a couple more weeks of warm weather to go. I have been really tired too - I think it might be too much sun,
Stripey (Peter)
Title: Re: Can't Hardly Wait for Weird Science Before Breakfast Club
Post by: Peter John Shields on March 27, 2006, 02:51:50 am
My generation's teen angst film was probably The Breakfast Club or another one of John Hughes' endless tales of high school drama.
Hi Phil, I loved the Breakfast Clulb - I watched it the first time when I was 18 and it made me feel like I had missed out on my teenage years. I thought it was so sorrowful at the end where they all have to separate to go off and lead their normal lives - very true to life,
Stripey (Peter)
Title: Wyoming Blizzard Causes Crash; Kills 6
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 27, 2006, 10:04:53 am
Life in Wyoming in late winter....
Crash In Blizzard Conditions Closes I-80, Kills 6
(AP) LARAMIE, Wyo. At least 20 vehicles crashed in blizzard conditions on Interstate 80 west of here Sunday, killing at least six people.
Wyoming Highway Patrol Sgt. Stephen Townsend said both semis and passenger vehicles were still being cleared from the scene at about 9:30 p.m. Sunday, some seven hours after the crash occurred about 9 miles east of Elk Mountain in Carbon County.
The interstate was closed from Rawlins to Laramie because of the weather, and an additional 50 miles from Laramie to Cheyenne was closed at the request of Laramie officials; there was no parking left in Laramie for semitrailers. Meanwhile, the patrol also closed U.S. 30 -- which often serves as a detour when I-80 is closed -- in the Laramie area because of weather conditions and reports of crashes.
An undetermined number of injured people have been transported to hospitals in Laramie and Rawlins; Townsend didn't know whether there were additional fatalities or injuries because officers had not been able to reach all of the vehicles.
Patsy Carter, chief executive officer of Carbon County Memorial Hospital in Rawlins, said at 6:30 p.m. that nine people from the accident had been evaluated at the hospital but said none had been admitted.
A nursing supervisor at Ivinson Memorial Hospital in Laramie said no one had been admitted, but wouldn't say whether anyone from the accident had been evaluated.
Fire department and rescue units were dispatched from Elk Mountain and Laramie to the accident scene.
Troopers at the scene Sunday night reported zero visibility due to strong winds and blowing snow. The patrol said the interstate would remain closed until it is safe for traffic.
Local Laramie residents were allowed to travel west beyond the road-closure gates at Cheyenne if they could prove to law enforcement that they live in Laramie or are students at the University of Wyoming. The highway was reported to be clear and dry between Cheyenne and Laramie.
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 31, 2006, 01:23:33 am
A big development for BetterMost today as we adopt the folks from the Pierre Tremblay forum from IMDB. They are all refugees from IMDB's Brokeback Mountain forum who found refuge in one of the quiet forums for/about Pierre Tremblay who worked on the film Brokeback Mountain. Unfortunately that got overrun as well and they have been hunting for a friendly new home and landed here.
Most of them aren't aware of the overall mission of BetterMost but they'll see as they venture out into the other forums in due course. I have been a participant on the Tremblay forum myself and they are a very devoted and committed bunch to the message of Brokeback. I know its a very sudden flood of new people into our small community, but I think overall we're seeing a great infusion of new friends. And I was worried things were quieting way down after the Oscars. :)
I'm still doing a ton of work behind the scenes on BetterMost. I learned today the power issues are now resolved in the neighborhood so I get 21st century living back!
Title: Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
Post by: Phillip Dampier on March 31, 2006, 03:05:58 am
Randi Rhodes, a great liberal talkshow host heard in several cities, was in rare form today commenting about the new chief of staff's apparent fetish over presidential hands. Load this into your ipod and listen at home, at work, or in your car. :D
My big question for this weekend: Will BetterMost achieve its 200th user this weekend? :)
Asked and answered, Phil, and just a few days after the weekend. :)
My big question is HOW are you managing all this? From where I'm sitting, I can't imagine you having a spare second!
Excellent job.
-Lynne
Title: Re: Phil's Lewis the Psycho Cat Fan Site
Post by: Phillip Dampier on April 12, 2006, 09:44:18 am
Heh... thought changing the subject might attract a few people in. (Lewis the cat is, of course, the attack cat in Connecticut that has a body count, including the Avon lady - and has a the distinction of being the only cat with a restraining order and hasn't been on Cops.)
This week is Phil Puts Off Doing Taxes until the last week and then discovering one group didn't send me the papers I need. So I am offline a lot until I get them done and out the door.
http://www.connpost.com/news/ci_3646541
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on April 16, 2006, 11:03:20 pm
My taxes are done and the Easter weekend comes to an end and spring is finally starting to arrive in earnest here in western NY. I have a bunch of random thoughts I'll group together, differentiating thought-changes with a color-change.
I spent last night with a friend who provided me the seed for my message in Now What about material things not providing true happiness. It's very interesting how often I am using Brokeback Mountain as a parable for various life situations these days. It's a story with many parables itself, so I suppose that's inevitable.
My usual reaction to people hurting is a desire to help them find ways to stop hurting. I've always been a problem-solver kind of friend to people. Unfortunately, when you figure you have found some answers and the person just can't pick up what you are putting down, it gets frustrating real fast. Here's a guy who tries incredibly hard to be well-liked and accepted, and he needn't bother because he has those inherent qualities by default. In fact, his efforts end up backfiring when he lays on the praise and generous thoughts so heavily that you start doubting his intentions, especially when his actions don't match his glowing words. Then you start believing the person is playing you by buttering you up.
I am convinced we all have these self-doubt demons in us that lead us to doubting we can make this or that work in our lives. That sure has been the case in my own over the years. The only way out of Demonland is to, step by step, prove those demons wrong. BetterMost has helped there.
Learning about IdahoLonely's plight tonight was a bit shocking to me, if only because I hadn't noticed he'd been offline for more than a week and I hadn't heard from him. Doing your taxes will do that to you, as well as spring cleaning and trying to catch up on the things you didn't accomplish for half the winter because you were too busy visiting Brokeback Mountain over and over again.
My personal goal is to not let the movie's message slip away from me, because that could be a major threat to my drive to change. It's easy to fall back into bad habits when you stop believing.
Showtime has been running The Game, circa 1997 starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn once again. It was definitely a message-movie, complete with some paranoia about what is real and what isn't. It is a great film for an adult audience who enjoy watching characters stuck in a grinding life pattern find change in their lives by something shaking them up. If you haven't seen it, consider renting it or watching it. Yes, there are scenes over the top that seem to lack "real world" credibility, but it's still entertaining.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Aussie Chris on April 16, 2006, 11:32:52 pm
My personal goal is to not let the movie's message slip away from me, because that could be a major threat to my drive to change. It's easy to fall back into bad habits when you stop believing.
I've wondered aout this too Phillip. That rational part of my mind trying to tell me this is just a phase and things will return "normal" (read: to the old ways) soon enough - a temporary popular craze - like yo-yos. But just like asking yourself if you're crazy means that you're not, the evidence of the quality of people that have been drawn here, and the fact that we all believe in this message of Brokeback, tells me that this is not just devotion for a film. You have played an important part in creating this environment, now you have to have faith in the process as it unfolds. Best wishes, Phillip.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: YaadPyar on April 16, 2006, 11:58:54 pm
Hmmmm - I don't think there's any going back. I think you/me/us - are different. It's not just a hope or desire, but a reality exemplified by the very fact that this conversation is taking place here, in a world entirely of your own design.
There's no turning back from the impact your vision has already had on so many. The change is unfolding, not some elusive mythical creature floating up ahead. It's here and now already. Real life unfolds in such ordinary ways it's hard to notice it's happening sometimes...I think I want to go back and notice all the change. I know it's there, and think I've discounted its importance because it's been in such small and ordinary ways.
And because the impetus for this change is something that's a secret from most people I know. I can talk about the change, but with most folks, I can't talk about the movie, and so this process has been more underground than usual for me.
Hmmmm - I wonder if that's the same for all of us? The change we're experiencing being a bit hidden even to ourselves since the source has been such a secret...?! I'm gonna ask tomorrow over at CT (after a good night's sleep).
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: BBMGrandma on April 17, 2006, 02:59:12 am
Hey My Friends...
The thoughts that perhaps Brokeback Mountain will EVER slip out of my life...just strengthens my will to KEEP it in my life....forever!! This story/movie/forum has helped me SO very much through these last few weeks. As I sat at Everett's services on Thursday...our 'boys' and their faces and their feeilngs kept zinging through me...endlessly. Ennis kept repeating to me...."if you can't fix it....you just hafta stand it..." And Jack...."it doesn't have to be this way....." and Jack..."it's nobody's business but ours..." and on and on. There were people who got up to the podium to say a few words....bawling their eyes out....who never had the compassion nor decency to visit Everett while he lay there dying. There were others who sat there quietly grieving...who HAD been there with Everett....who DID hold his hand....who earned my respect. And every lesson I learned that day....somehow...tied into Brokeback. These feelings will be with me...always!! I've learned more than a few of life's lessons from our 'boys'. I've learned to TELL the ones that you love....that you LOVE them....!! I've learned that turning away from a problem...doesn't solve it...it only makes it harder to figure out when it returns again. I've learned that whatever stage you're in...in LIFE....it makes it joyous if you can laugh and play!! Hold hands with someone you love...and HOLD on tight. Hold someone's hand that you DON'T love...and make them feel loved. Give of yourself....but be wise enough to know when the offer isn't accepted...and move ON. I'm climbing Brokeback Mountain...one step at a time. I don't WANT to climb it any faster....I want to savor each step...and learn from it. And lastly....I'm learning that love doesn't come knocking on your door...you've got to OPEN that door and step outside and FIND IT!!
I hope all of you know how much love you've all given to me during these difficult times. I'd come in here...with tears in my eyes...and ALWAYS left....smiling through those tears.
Thank you doesn't seem like enough.....but love does!!
Much LOVE and warm HUGS....Nancy :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Aussie Chris on April 17, 2006, 04:26:42 am
Thank you doesn't seem like enough.....but love does!!
Awww Nancy, you're just the sweetest, most lovable BBM grandma in the world. I think most of us feel exactly the same.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on June 27, 2006, 11:23:35 pm
It has been quite awhile since I have updated this, so I figured now would be a good time.
For the past eight years or so, I have been able to identify a pattern of recurring summer depression/anxiety/energy drain that is exactly opposite what most people seem to experience. Spring is a season of excitement as the days grow longer and you can be outside and get comfortable. Fall is always my most contemplative season. The days grow shorter, but it's a "safe" time too. Winter is dark around here, and it can carry some annoyances when the weather is bad, but I manage through it okay. But summer for whatever reason brings this big energy drain and things that wouldn't bug me so much at other times bug me now. The best times are the weekends with the long days which let you drive around and see the countryside. But I just don't seem to accomplish as much as I should, and am easily distracted by television or other things.
So after Memorial Day, the whole summer thing hit me again. It came on quite quickly and it has been very irritating this year so far. Family health matters have made a big contribution to the concern, but I definitely notice things stress me more this time of year over others. The energy drop is the worst thing of all. Just tired a lot.
This year, the suspicion is that there is a physiological explanation for this. That would be nice if everything could be identified and resolved in some way, because it definitely cuts into my ability to get things done. Hypoglycemia may be part of this, but I am suspicious about why this is a factor for me in the summer and not as much other times of the year.
The thing I fear a lot is losing the energy and drive the movie gave me back in January when I saw it for the first time. It's been six months now and I need a recharge of that emotional push the movie gave to me. The thing I am most glad about is that there is a great team of moderators and users who are keeping things going while I work on re-energizing. I am very glad this isn't all on my shoulders, but is a group effort that would not succeed without the number of caring folks who help keep the forums going, and of course all of our great users who come and visit and make time in their day for BetterMost and the vision I tried to create here.
I take solace in that every day!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: YaadPyar on June 27, 2006, 11:42:04 pm
Lots of healing good wishes heading your way, friend.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: vkm91941 on June 28, 2006, 05:06:59 am
Lots of prayers and positive good wishes for you Phillip. Know that I care and I'm holding you in my heart as well :-* You done something so wonderful by creating this lovely and loving place for us, we could never do any less for you.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Andrew on July 09, 2006, 04:06:20 pm
Phillip, I have to second what the old hands here have said. I am so grateful to you for all the work you've done to make this place and make it a welcoming, useful and fun place for so many people. It's so easy to take it for granted, then I read all you were going through when you were setting it up and get really in awe of your combination of energy, technical knowledge, political passion and human warmth.
I hope somebody, maybe a creative doctor or maybe you doing your own research, can find out what the summer blahs are about. Chances are it's a couple unrelated things mixed into an unhealthy brew. Those unholy alliances are always so hard to fight, you concentrate on fighting one of the bad partners and the other gets behind you unawares. So often one is physical and one is mental. I would definitely try to find out if others with hypoglycemia ever experience this.
I know I hate the heat and the humidity this time of year and have the AC grinding almost all the time. If that means I get less exercise than I need, of course that makes it worse. The Northeast usually goes from too cold to too hot without anything between (I'm living in Boston). A lot of times I don't get out on weekends till the early evening when it moderates. At least in my neighborhood there are pretty places to walk, from the Emerald Necklace (a string of parks and ponds running through Boston) to Arnold Arboretum and the beautifully landscaped nineteenth-century Forest Hills Cemetery. I did that last night, walked around an hour, said good night to the birds as they did their last things between the grass and trees and felt a lot better for it.
GLBT contra dancing is another local resource I just started using, just down the street at the UU church. I 'cant' dance' but I'm learning and so is everybody else. It's fun to try to move through all the brain-challenging patterns and in the end you have taken everybody's hand and spun everybody in the room around a few times. And looked in their eyes, which keeps you from getting dizzy during the swings!
There are definitely times of the week where a sadness is more likely to come over me, and I know it's from past associations. Sunday nights when the fun was coming to an end and I had to do the homework I had put off, while my mother was also getting depressed because she had to get planning her week's kindergarten activities. These things can stay with you long after you stop having homework. You have probably already dug around in your past to know what came into or went out of your summers when you were growing up. My experience is that it's working crawling around in the muck just a bit just in case you have the Eureka experience and find that one bad summer event from way back that you had repressed. Or maybe, it was the structure and stimulation of the school year you always missed, since I have the feeling you really enjoyed and excelled in some of your classes.
Anyway - hope you're getting the better of it this year. My warmest wishes and thanks! Andrew
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on July 09, 2006, 08:22:14 pm
I experence something similar when summer comes, I am just overwelmed with things happening. I get to the point I don't want to do anything but hide from the world.
Perhaps part of it is the business of the season, molecules vibrating at a higher frequence due to heat, all that. Good luck to you finding answers and thank you for your hard work with bettermost, it is a major part of my day.
Title: Root Canals
Post by: Phillip Dampier on October 16, 2006, 09:57:10 am
It's bad enough I already have more crowns than British royalty, but this morning's crown prep turned into another full blown root canal. I think I've had three. The good news is that root canals are the most over-hyped "painful" procedure in dentistry. It's not really anymore painful than any other dental treatment involving the drill, except after the numbing meds wear off. Then it's time for the Vicodin or other pain meds. There is nothing worse than standing in a pharmacy waiting for a prescription as the numbing meds wear off. I usually find a day or two of prescription meds are all that's needed.
The most painful part of the whole thing is the bill. For a tooth, it's $915 for the crown and $800 for the root canal. And guess who doesn't have dental insurance....
And the silliest thing, I actually thought a moment about what someone like Jack or Ennis would have done - probably a tooth pull. One of the critics who didn't love BBM complained that casting Hollywood "pretty boys" in the starring roles made it an "uncredible" film. In his eyes, a realistic portrayal, especially in later years, would have been a lot harder look on their faces and at least one tooth missing here and there.
In all of the things in our "real lives" it continues to amaze me that I still wonder "what would Jack or Ennis have done."
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on October 16, 2006, 06:47:32 pm
Yes, if they couldn't stand the pain anymore they would have had it pulled....no way would WE pay that much to save a tooth, just don't have that kind of money.
We also don't go to the dentist...I haven't been in about five years...we just floss and brush and cross our fingers. Don hasn't been in over ten...
We wouldn't be too concerned about just having it pulled; especially if it was a back tooth that is not too obvious.
It is the same thing by the way with eye care. I have not had my eyes checked since school. Don had his checked once a few years ago when he got a splinter in one while sawing a fallen tree...had to go the emergency room to get it out and they checked his eyesight then.
we don't keep insurance on ourselves. We don't go for well checks...only go to the doctor when we are injured or so sick we HAVE to go.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Andrew on October 16, 2006, 07:09:08 pm
...Meanwhile, our forum members in Canada, Europe and Australia are probably experiencing either sadness or outrage at this very specific example of the sorry state of healthcare in the United States, Jess...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on October 16, 2006, 07:16:54 pm
...Meanwhile, our forum members in Canada, Europe and Australia are probably experiencing either sadness or outrage at this very specific example of the sorry state of healthcare in the United States, Jess...
you think I should erase it?? Am I being unpatriotic? :P
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on October 16, 2006, 07:18:39 pm
I have a friend in England who is outraged and appalled that we are on well water!
He says it is the governments responsibility to supply basic necessities to its citizens!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on October 16, 2006, 08:54:09 pm
so it has been about twelve hours...how are the pain meds holding? Hope you are not hurting TOO much.
Don't be macho...if you are hurting USE the meds!!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ffrn on October 17, 2006, 06:13:23 am
...Meanwhile, our forum members in Canada, Europe and Australia are probably experiencing either sadness or outrage at this very specific example of the sorry state of healthcare in the United States, Jess...
You are so right Andrew. I simply cannot believe a country that is supposedly as advanced as the USA, doesn't have universal health insurance. Our system isn't perfect but it is miles better than yours.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on October 17, 2006, 07:55:43 am
Poor Phillip, hope your feeling better. Toothaches are the worst kind of pain if you ask me.
My family flipps out when I tell them I don't have insurance. I rarely have had it, and I am not about to pay for it. I would rather put my money in a medical savings account, where I could rob to go on trips to Alberta.
Yes, it is a shame a country the size of the United States cannot care for its citizens, but if it did how could it go all over the world saving everyone from theirselves? (Big Sarcasm here).
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on October 19, 2006, 02:53:33 pm
Actually, I broke the silly tooth while eating... a jellybean! One quarter of it sheared off. I have been remarkably pain free, however. It turned out the nerve inside the tooth was 50% necrotic so while he was doing the crown prep (which honestly bothers me more than a root canal - it's a solid 10 minutes of drilling to drill the tooth down to its surface) he managed to enter the pulp canal, which was inflamed and under some pressure anyway, so it was clear a root canal was needed. He ripped out the nerve itself (which honestly was not painful, and in my previous ones the twang only hits you for a second, so even that is not bad). Then he did a little prep with the files going in and cleaning out the canal pathways (which is completely painless).
What gets me is about two hours after the procedure when the throbbing starts, which is why I got my Vicodin script. But I only needed two tablets over that day, and I have been totally pain-free. The worst part was the freakin bill.
I have to go back next Monday at 9am to finish clearing out the canal, then wait another two weeks for the permanent crown to arrive and get glued on.
Dental coverage is awful in the United States. You pay a lot per month and end up with a $1000-1500 maximum plus often a 50% co-pay. For someone who is self-employed, the monthly insurance rate adds up to $1000 a year anyway, so there is absolutely no point in having the insurance.
Medical coverage is also outrageous. I just dropped our highly rated Blue Cross plan (Blue Choice - an HMO) for Preferred Care, a competing plan. For John and I, the monthly premium was around $700 with Blue Choice and they were raising the prescription drug co-pay to $7 for tier one (generics), $50 for tier two (expensive generics + moderately priced/common brand names), and $100 for tier three (newest brand name drugs mostly). John takes two blood pressure pills so that would have been $150 a month just for those. Forget it. Preferred Care charges us around $650 a month I think, and the co-pays are $10/$25/$40.
Insurance locally has been going up around 12% a year. It's already well beyond most people's car payments, and within a decade, it is likely going to exceed a lot of mortgage payments. We're approaching the breaking point. Yes, the health care quality is often the best in the world with not a lot of waiting and often a choice in providers, but it's becoming unaffordable for the middle class with no end in sight. There should be a way of devising a hybrid system similar to a social medicine program but with some built-in choices and perhaps some private insurance add-ons for greater choice in medications or providers.
Title: Re: Root Canals
Post by: opinionista on October 25, 2006, 01:29:52 pm
And the silliest thing, I actually thought a moment about what someone like Jack or Ennis would have done - probably a tooth pull. One of the critics who didn't love BBM complained that casting Hollywood "pretty boys" in the starring roles made it an "uncredible" film. In his eyes, a realistic portrayal, especially in later years, would have been a lot harder look on their faces and at least one tooth missing here and there.
Funny, I thought about this the other day when I went to see the Black Dahlia. I didn't know anything about her murder so after the movies I went to the Crime Library online to find out more about Elizabeth Short. In the movie they show her as a young beautiful but rather poor woman, with perfect teeth. However, according to Crime Library, her teeth were practically rotten because of lack of proper hygiene due to her extreme poverty. She used to put wax on them so people wouldn't notice. So it got me thinking if Ennis would have teeth problems too, and not just a tooth missing or two, but a mouth generally in bad shape due to his poverty.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on April 26, 2007, 12:25:05 am
You said somewhere that you have started listening to older country and western music. Where are you finding them? cause I have looked on Urge and Napster and am having a real problem finding them!
any website info you can share?
:)
and who in particular are you listening to from back then?
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on April 27, 2007, 07:20:42 pm
I will have many hours available for premium members to grab copies of as I continue to build the radio special. I have access to a radio station music provisioning service which gives me access to stuff even if out of print.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on April 27, 2007, 10:23:36 pm
I will have many hours available for premium members to grab copies of as I continue to build the radio special. I have access to a radio station music provisioning service which gives me access to stuff even if out of print.
ARGH!
You lucky stiff!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on April 28, 2007, 03:10:38 am
OK - that's outa my league - I got the pop tunes, not the country ones ... (and when am I gonna be gettin your country version a 'The Boxer'? Hunh??)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on July 08, 2007, 10:23:30 pm
ok we gotta get out of Phil's blog....meet you in the Grill...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on July 08, 2007, 10:41:44 pm
If you are looking for other versions of the song, I probably have 10 of them.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Sheriff Roland on July 08, 2007, 10:52:25 pm
Hey Phil
Can you get me a copy of Roger Whittaker's 'Mon pays bleu'? Mine's corrupted.
Ha! I just googled Whittaker (ta see if I had spelled his name correctly) and guess what? The tunes' his only french song (well, except for 'Mammy Blue') on his latest greatest hit CD! It's a french version of 'Durham Town'.
Has special meaning for me. My youngest sister died from a car accident at the age a 13, about the time the song came out. Her classmates sang that song (with a few words altered) at her funeral. Made me crumble ... the power of music!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on July 09, 2007, 04:04:59 pm
Now THAT's funny :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I like that I made ya laugh. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life: My Thyroid & Me
Post by: Phillip Dampier on July 19, 2007, 12:37:56 am
Well, after having a lot of test results shipped down to Pittsburgh because of the atypical nature of them, there is an answer for me and my ongoing thyroid issue. I'm one of those 3% of cases that present with atypical hyperfunctioning colloid nodules and at least one of them is firing off hormones that are telling my body I am in some sort of starvation mode. So this explains why a cold I had several weeks ago left with with more than a month of hoarseness (one of the nodules had swollen and was pressing near the voicebox) and, more importantly for me, why I have ballooned up to giant economy family size despite my ongoing intense exercise efforts. No matter what I eat, my body says, "oh my god... it's the first food in weeks... store every bit of it!" I also am prone to hot flashes. It's like menopause... one minute fine, the next minute the perspiration is everywhere.
Yay.
The good news is I have an answer for what is going on, and these are typically benign and not cancerous. The complicated news is that generalized thyroid hormone therapy is potentially ineffective for me because I do not have traditional hypothyroidism, and as they deal with the nodule issue, that could resolve the hyperfunctionality and then I'd also be on medication for the same thing, and getting off the meds can be a real problem. The bad news is the first stage treatment for this is having ethanol injected into the nodules with teeny tiny needles to shrink them, and then potentially going with radioactive iodine (yum), plus ongoing tests to ensure nothing else pops up.
Whatever. For me, I just want justice on behalf of those like me who can eat a rice cake and gain three pounds vs. selected others who can wolf pizza down and not gain an ounce.
But I shall live, and hopefully with treatment things will resolve. John is going crazy having to deal with my high tuna diet (a can of tuna alone is a typical lunch for me - keep the protein high and the carbs on the low side), and John thinks tuna smells. But I can also have my sushi and eat it too.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on July 19, 2007, 12:48:04 am
Here is the Roger Whittaker in both French and English...
http://www.divshare.com/download/1307972-c80
http://www.divshare.com/download/1307975-a6a
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on July 19, 2007, 12:51:09 am
wait a minute...tuna by itself?? no bread? no crackers? You are sick!
:laugh: :laugh:
:P
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shasta542 on July 19, 2007, 12:59:09 am
Glad you found out so you can treat it, Phillip.
Quote
I also am prone to hot flashes. It's like menopause... one minute fine, the next minute the perspiration is everywhere.
Relating here.
Quote
I just want justice on behalf of those like me who can eat a rice cake and gain three pounds vs. selected others who can wolf pizza down and not gain an ounce.
Here, too. There is no justice.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on July 31, 2007, 03:39:38 pm
I totally sympathize with all of your symptoms Philip. Hope you feel better soon. :-\
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on August 02, 2007, 12:43:42 am
Hey Phillip - it was awesome seeing you down by the water on Moon Night, skipping real stones across real water. I LOVED spending time with you and John. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 19, 2007, 03:17:56 pm
Since people have been talking about the roof work being done here, I thought I'd share some pics of the house and the general vicinity, and the drama unfolding on now what is right over my head!
The front of our home has been mostly re-roofed. The new shingles are in place and other than a stability board still in place for the contractor, it's a done deal. What is completely wrong about all this is that the leaves are -still- working their way off the trees, at least a month later (a side-effect of global warming perhaps - they've never stayed on the trees this long and I've lived in Rochester, NY my whole life), and, of course, the air conditioner still in the window because I haven't gotten around to taking it out yet! And in picture three, you get to see the contractor's truck. My car is on the sidewalk.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on November 19, 2007, 03:20:59 pm
so are you expecting to save a ton in fuel bills this winter to offset the pinch of the reroofing? It"s a beautiful house by the way...!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 19, 2007, 03:25:35 pm
It looked serene enough in the front yard, but when you get to the back....
A few points:
That's Levi up on the roof pounding away. That room below where he is standing with the sliding glass doors is essentially "the mayor's office" because that is precisely where I am seated right now and where 90% of BetterMost work gets done by me. The other 10% is done in John's office, located up where the second story window on the far right of the picture is located.
The last picture is of the garage, which has a tarp over it because the giant truck delivering three full palates of shingles couldn't squeeze them in the garage all of the way so the door is up. Because it's so cool up here now, the shingles are stiff so he has a kerosene heater going in the garage warming up the shingles so they are pliable. The neighbor's cat absolutely loves it, and can usually be found sprawling on top of the shingle pile whch retains the warmth really well in the garage.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on November 19, 2007, 03:26:26 pm
Wow, it is amazing Phillip, to see where you all live, it is like the revealing of detail in an on going sculpture.
Beautiful home.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 19, 2007, 03:30:15 pm
And now here is the backyard, such as that is (the house, built in 1940, had the rear addition built in two stages in the 1950s and mid-1980s, evident by the ridiculous "wet bar" in the huge kitchen here -- since neither John or I drink, it's now a cocoa and tea nook), as most of our open yard space is in the front. Note the homage to John Twist with my ratty, falling down wooden fence that the carpenter ants have been consuming. We never got around to replacing it this year.
That fallen down plastic lawn chair is my statement about how one reacts to getting a near-$14,000 bill to replace the entire roof. This is a big house, and it's now becoming a four week project, but it's still scary money.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 19, 2007, 03:45:10 pm
And now a few random shots. In picture one, check out the leaves still on the trees bordering us from our neighbors. I spent yesterday raking and blowing the yard and it's becoming clear we'll still be raking in December. Picture two and three shows the view up and down our street, eastbound and then west. The year BBM came out, the entire street was torn up and dug out, replaced from the soil level up, which created a year of chaos, dust, and one-way driving. It looks better now though.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 19, 2007, 03:48:39 pm
And finally, leaves leaves leaves.... A full-resolution picture (http://www.phillipdampier.net/leaves 2 fullsize.jpg) of the latter picture is also available. Western New York is big on maple trees and also produces maple syrup.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 19, 2007, 03:57:54 pm
so are you expecting to save a ton in fuel bills this winter to offset the pinch of the reroofing? It"s a beautiful house by the way...!
Probably not too much. The insulation under the roofing was done well. The problem was, we had the original roof circa 1940 up there (cedar shakes which are hand dipped in tar and then coated in tiny stones - a major fire hazard and now required to be torn off if roof work is done), plus an additional two layers of standard, now worn shingles. We also had a bad ice dam and some water leaks in John's office last winter because water was getting in over by the dormer on the third floor. It all had to come off, and I replaced them with GAF Architectural 50-year shingles (by the way, the price difference between 30 and 50 year shingles turned out to be $400(!)... everyone contemplating a roof replacement or shingle work should always price check 50 year shingles, which cost only a fraction more than 30 year shingles when you price the whole contract.) Around this area, because of the huge snowfall (120 inches on average per winter), a 50-year roof really lasts around 40, which is long enough for me not to have to do it again.
Western NY utility rates for natural gas and electric are obscene. Our gas and electric bill averages between $260-350 a month here, depending on the season. We are on the budget billing for gas which keeps payments stable. We had a $500 natural gas bill one month during the 2004-2005 winter! We also have the old school steam heat/radiator system, which is hardly energy efficient. A programmable thermostat with a sensible temperature reduction at night during the winter and regular boiler maintenance paid for itself in a matter of months in savings.
And thanks to everyone for the nice comments. I'm glad to share with you some pics of where all of this stuff came together to create this place.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Penthesilea on November 19, 2007, 04:10:22 pm
Your house is beautiful. It's cute (yes, houses can be cute in my book) from the front, but even more so from the back. Love the glass doors and the terrace.
And dang, I'm really happy we have only one tree in the backyard :laugh:. Enough leaves fo me.
Quote
I'm glad to share with you some pics of where all of this stuff came together to create this place.
Thanks for sharing and describing where BetterMost is put together. It's cool to actually see the place and picture you behind the glass doors. 8)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on November 19, 2007, 04:13:48 pm
Quote
Around this area, because of the huge snowfall (120 inches on average per winter), a 50-year roof really lasts around 40, which is long enough for me not to have to do it again.
What do you mean? That brings us to your 80th birthday party, don't it? That backyard looks perfect for a Brokie get-together. Lovely house, yard and trees. It's great you both have offices in your home. My partner and I do too, but now that I have a laptop, the recliner in my living room tends to be my office. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on November 19, 2007, 04:17:44 pm
Gawd, a 50 year roof! We only recently got 30 year shingles here.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on November 19, 2007, 04:44:34 pm
Philip, your home is beautiful..It looks so friendly and comfortable. I am very familiar with the fall leaf thing. My whole yard is covered. I like the windows and dormers on your house. And I love the slice of life photos.. I always like looking at pictures where it looks like the people there, just stepped inside, and we get to see how they were just before...I may be a voyeur. Oh well sorry.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brokeback_Dev on November 19, 2007, 07:24:08 pm
Hi Phillip. I dont make it over here too often.. Awesome pics. I saw a tree yesterday with ORANGE leaves. It was so cool.. On in a million. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on November 19, 2007, 07:24:45 pm
Phillip - I think im going to use your leaves as my wallpaper - and lovely to see where you live - I'm with Chrissi - that house is cute!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on November 30, 2007, 07:43:53 pm
Errand Day Cut Short
Friday is my usual errand day when I take care of the various shopping and other needs. Today's errand day was cut severely short, however, when at 11:30 this morning, my car had a head-on collision with a vehicle that inexplicably turned right in front of me, at a 45mph intersection.
Needless to say, every airbag went off in the car, pieces of my car were thrown across several lanes of traffic, and my car is kaput. I have been getting some medical attention because yet again, an airbag deployment threw my right hand into the gear shift (it broke my wrist in a similar 2005 accident). But after an afternoon of medical tests, it looks soft tissue, but I cannot hold a pen or do a lot of typing because of pain right now.
The other driver was ticketed and deemed 100% at fault, but this is the second major accident I've had to deal with in two years! And it looks like the 2005 Malibu that replaced the 1998 Malibu destroyed in the first accident may be joining its predecessor in the junkyard.
Needless to say, my ability to write my usual long-winded posts and deal with some matters will be restricted until I can get the pain under control. And then I get to deal with the loathsome potential of having to play the buy a new car game with dealers right during the Christmas season.
Argh....
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on November 30, 2007, 07:52:08 pm
damn!
Phillip, I'm sorry to hear this, and that you went through it, but thank God you are ok!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Jeff Wrangler on November 30, 2007, 08:16:12 pm
Jesus H.! :o
So glad you're all right, Phillip.
Automobiles can always be replaced. You can't be.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on November 30, 2007, 08:19:57 pm
Friday is my usual errand day when I take care of the various shopping and other needs. Today's errand day was cut severely short, however, when at 11:30 this morning, my car had a head-on collision with a vehicle that inexplicably turned right in front of me, at a 45mph intersection.
Needless to say, every airbag went off in the car, pieces of my car were thrown across several lanes of traffic, and my car is kaput. I have been getting some medical attention because yet again, an airbag deployment threw my right hand into the gear shift (it broke my wrist in a similar 2005 accident). But after an afternoon of medical tests, it looks soft tissue, but I cannot hold a pen or do a lot of typing because of pain right now.
The other driver was ticketed and deemed 100% at fault, but this is the second major accident I've had to deal with in two years! And it looks like the 2005 Malibu that replaced the 1998 Malibu destroyed in the first accident may be joining its predecessor in the junkyard.
Needless to say, my ability to write my usual long-winded posts and deal with some matters will be restricted until I can get the pain under control. And then I get to deal with the loathsome potential of having to play the buy a new car game with dealers right during the Christmas season.
Argh....
Phillip - poor you - I'm so glad you are okay.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Front-Ranger on November 30, 2007, 08:21:40 pm
my ability to write my usual long-winded posts and deal with some matters will be restricted until I can get the pain under control. And then I get to deal with the loathsome potential of having to play the buy a new car game with dealers right during the Christmas season.
Argh....
<Front-Ranger puts on best Mr. Bill imitation> Ohhh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Sending love, chicken soup, cherry cake, singing bluebirds, etc. to Mayor Phillip...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: southendmd on November 30, 2007, 10:02:43 pm
Talk about a GDBOAUS!
So glad you made it OK.
Wishing you quick recovery, good pain meds, and a new Malibu with a big red bow under your tree. (John, are you listening?)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on November 30, 2007, 10:05:40 pm
Dang I am so sorry to hear that Phillip, shit. Hope you will be out of pain soon.
That sux. :-\
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: delalluvia on November 30, 2007, 10:55:13 pm
Thankfully you're OK. I was going to say something about getting good deals on 2007 cars at the end of the year when the new 2008s are already here, but you buy used cars. Dang.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on November 30, 2007, 11:33:48 pm
Oh Phillip! I'm so sorry to hear this news. Hope you feel better very, very soon and that dealing with the car situation isn't too much of a pain.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: TXdoug on December 01, 2007, 12:08:42 am
Thoughts and Prayers for a SPEEDY recovery, Phillip :o
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: LauraGigs on December 01, 2007, 12:21:06 am
Definitely, Phillip. I'm sure glad it wasn't any worse.
I hear the auto market is slow (and winter in general is slower than summer) so you should do okay; you're a smart guy, after all.
But the important thing is that you're safe. I for one am thankful those airbags went off . . .
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Luvlylittlewing on December 01, 2007, 12:27:44 am
Friday is my usual errand day when I take care of the various shopping and other needs. Today's errand day was cut severely short, however, when at 11:30 this morning, my car had a head-on collision with a vehicle that inexplicably turned right in front of me, at a 45mph intersection.
Needless to say, every airbag went off in the car, pieces of my car were thrown across several lanes of traffic, and my car is kaput. I have been getting some medical attention because yet again, an airbag deployment threw my right hand into the gear shift (it broke my wrist in a similar 2005 accident). But after an afternoon of medical tests, it looks soft tissue, but I cannot hold a pen or do a lot of typing because of pain right now.
The other driver was ticketed and deemed 100% at fault, but this is the second major accident I've had to deal with in two years! And it looks like the 2005 Malibu that replaced the 1998 Malibu destroyed in the first accident may be joining its predecessor in the junkyard.
Needless to say, my ability to write my usual long-winded posts and deal with some matters will be restricted until I can get the pain under control. And then I get to deal with the loathsome potential of having to play the buy a new car game with dealers right during the Christmas season.
Argh....
Wow, Phillip! I'm so sorry to hear about your accident! I'm just so glad you're okay, and I'm sending a lot of positive energy your way! I hope the pain subsides very soon. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on December 01, 2007, 12:35:41 am
oh my goodness, what terrible luck! best wishes for a speedy recovery, Phillip!!!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: serious crayons on December 01, 2007, 12:57:23 am
Phillip, I just saw this! I sprained one finger a few years ago and it was such a long drawn-out GDBOAUS that I could only shudder at what an actual car accident might be like. Today I am dealing with some back pain, but I will stop complaining now!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery and fortuitous car-shopping.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Lynne on December 01, 2007, 01:01:11 am
Yikes, Phillip! Car accidents are scary. What bad luck! I hope your wrist is feeling better soon, and you have my sympathies with the car shopping too!! Take care of yourself, friend. -Lynne :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: lil darlin on December 01, 2007, 01:08:12 am
Philip, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been hurt in a car accident. All my good wishes are with you. I will send up a prayer of hope that your wrist will mend nicely, and that you are able to get a new car soon. Buying a car is such a hassle. Take care dear mayor. I'm sending postive thoughts and smiles to you. A friend in CA, lil darlin, glory
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Meryl on December 01, 2007, 01:31:29 am
I'm sendin' up a prayer of thanks to your guardian angel, Phillip! I'm very happy it was the Malibu that took the brunt of that bust-up and not you! :P
I hope you're not in much pain. Pick out a nice new model with lots of comfy safety features, okay? :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on December 01, 2007, 01:54:07 am
Phillip, we're with you and will be on best behavior and not add to your problems right now. PM me any tasks you need me to do.
Car accidents suck. Hugs to you and John.
Clarissa
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: jstephens9 on December 01, 2007, 01:55:12 am
Phillip, That is terrible news, but the good thing is that you are ok. Like someone else said, cars can be replaced, but you can't. It does sound though like you would be in a lot of pain with the injuries you do have. So take care of yourself and remember those of us at Bettermost are all wishing you a very speedy recovery. Also remember that you have created through Bettermost the most caring group of people I have ever known so you know you got a lot of thoughts and prayers with you.
Jack
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kerry on December 01, 2007, 07:20:54 am
Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Phillip. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: MaineWriter on December 01, 2007, 09:10:28 am
Oh Phillip,
Sorry to hear the news but as a good friend said to me once, "A car is just a piece of metal with a motor in it." At least you are safe and thank God for airbags!
Talk to Nutmeg Guy (David) about car buying. He knows how to get great deals on great used cars on the Internet. Save yourself alot of hassle.
Leslie
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on December 01, 2007, 09:43:30 am
Well the 2008 Malibu looks fine, they even have a hybrid, which I am not so sure I would jump into buying a Chevy hybrid just yet.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Penthesilea on December 01, 2007, 11:38:39 am
Thank God you're all right. Car accidents are always scary, like Lynne said before. All the best for a speedy recovery Phillip!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: TXdoug on December 01, 2007, 11:40:00 am
How are you feeling today ? Hope your pain is under control. WOW !!! a 2008 Malibu is in your future ? What color ? Take Care. ;)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Fran on December 01, 2007, 12:05:45 pm
So sorry to hear about your accident, Phillip. I'm sending healing thoughts your way.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shasta542 on December 01, 2007, 12:06:28 pm
I'm glad you're okay Phillip! Best wishes for a speedy recovery...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Wayne on December 01, 2007, 12:45:32 pm
:-\ I hope you're feeling all better soon Mister Mayor!! :-* :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: belbbmfan on December 01, 2007, 12:50:02 pm
Best wishes for a speedy recovery from all of us here Phillip.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: David In Indy on December 01, 2007, 02:38:01 pm
{{{PHILLIP}}}
I hope you feel better real soon, buddy! I've had a couple of incidents with my car during this past year too, and both times the airbags deployed. I'm glad they were in my car but they sure do hurt!
Take care of yourself Phillip, and I'm glad you will be okay. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: opinionista on December 01, 2007, 03:39:34 pm
Get well soon Phillip! I'm so glad it wasn't a serious accident but I know it is always a nuisance. I had one in 2003. It wasn't serious but it was annoying for a while!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: RodneyWY on December 01, 2007, 04:27:44 pm
Wishing you quick recovery, good pain meds, and a new Malibu with a big red bow under your tree. (John, are you listening?)
Let me add my 2 cents worth . . . Cars can be replaced. It's much more difficult to replace a friend. May your pain meds be sufficient for a quick and full recovery. It's shouldn't be so difficult to find a new car. Wishing you a speedy decision. You might be able to find a really great deal with the holidays upon us!
RodneyWY
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 01, 2007, 05:04:27 pm
Thanks everyone for the nice thoughts. I am glad to report no bones broken in this accident. I have soft tissue damage in my thumb and right wrist - the airbag will throw your hand into the gear shifter when it deploys. I am about 30% better than yesterday, which is very good for me considering what I went through in 2005. The best I can describe it is a bad muscle pull. Writing is impossible, but I am doing okay pecking with my two index fingers for a limited period. I *think* things will be physically more or less back to quasi-normal by Monday, we'll see how fast the hand heals. Ibuprofen does help.
The airbag experience is always bizarre. They open so fast. The old Malibu had giant round balloons that blow into your face. The new one had this horizontal bag in the steering wheel that was designed to keep your body out of the steering wheel. The passenger side one was larger. You get this cloud of corn starch and the nasty gross smell, and your ears ring. After they go off, your car basically goes into dead mode with the emergency flashers going. I couldn't turn my car off and it dumped all of the fluids into the road. We had fire trucks, an ambulance and two sheriff cars respond.
I was essentially in shock for a good part of yesterday, initially contemplating doing my usual shopping errands post-accident. But when I got to the grocery store, the employees who knew me took one look and ordered me to go home. I was in zombie mode. It's very odd when you get into this daze and things just seem to happen around you.
I have been dealing with State Farm Insurance for the car matter and as soon as personal injury is involved in NY, you get a lot of calls from them. I delivered my sworn recount of the accident last night by phone. On Monday, the car will be towed from its current location to the car dealership's collision center to determine if they will repair it or "total it." I will try and get some pictures and post them (we still have some pictures around here of the 2005 accident).
I'm being told that since the car is only two years old, the inclination is automatically to try and repair it unless the damages near the value of the vehicle. If it's too expensive to fix, then they "total it" meaning I send the title papers for the car to the insurance company and they basically buy it from me for market value.
The biggest thing is the amount of irritation this causes me during the busy holidays. If it's going to be repaired, it will probably be there three weeks. If it's totalled, then I have to go play the car buying game (which I loathe). I buy new cars and try and keep them as long as possible. I may eschew Chevrolet and go towards a Hyundai or Honda or Toyota if I am forced to buy a new one. GM cars are cheaper upfront but their quality over time still is not what it should be.
But for now I'll wait and see what I learn next week.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Jeff Wrangler on December 01, 2007, 06:34:19 pm
I may eschew Chevrolet and go towards a Hyundai or Honda or Toyota if I am forced to buy a new one. GM cars are cheaper upfront but their quality over time still is not what it should be.
FWIW, I have a friend who has a Hyundai Elantra, and he's very happy with it.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brokeback_Dev on December 01, 2007, 06:54:55 pm
I am glad you are doing okay after your accident.. That other person did not deserve to be behind the wheel of a car.! Hope your's is a speedy recover and your not left with too many aches and pains.
dev
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: yb on December 01, 2007, 08:20:52 pm
Phillip, my best wishes and get well soon.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: j.U.d.E. on December 01, 2007, 09:07:19 pm
Phil! Glad to read that you are feeling better today! Let the injuries heel! It's better than having chronic pain later.
Just today I witnessed a car accident. Neither of the cars was driving very fast, but it sure made a hell of a noise!
Get well soon!
j.U.d.E.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: brokeplex on December 01, 2007, 09:19:11 pm
Happy "get well" Trails!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: BelAir on December 01, 2007, 11:44:47 pm
I drive a Hyundai and I love it. (I'm glad your friends/acquaintances sent you home from the grocery store!)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on December 02, 2007, 12:24:00 am
I am very sorry to hear about your accidents Philip. I know what that is like for sure. I hope you feel better soon, and have no lasting problems. As has been said before, cars are replacable, you are not. Be well.. janice
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Lumière on December 02, 2007, 01:22:36 am
Wishing you a speedy recovery, Phillip. Get well soon!
~M
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Mikaela on December 02, 2007, 06:51:22 am
Best wishes for a speedy recovery to you, and for a quick and easy new car-buying process too. So glad to hear the physical injuries weren't worse, that accident certainly sounded severe enough. I hope you're not too shaken from it all, that kind of thing is nerve-wracking to say the least. And hopefully, now you've had more than your full share of bad luck on the car driving front, and so this won't ever happen again. *knocks on wood*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Dagi on December 02, 2007, 08:46:12 am
Dear Phillip,
I´m glad to hear that weren´t injured severely. Bad enough like this though.
I hope you recover soon!
Dagi
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on December 02, 2007, 10:16:53 am
If it's totalled, then I have to go play the car buying game (which I loathe). I buy new cars and try and keep them as long as possible.
try the leasing option, I've been doing nothing but leasing cars for the last 20 years. its a better deal all around.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kd5000 on December 02, 2007, 02:11:38 pm
Phillip,
I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I'd had my close calls with bad drivers, but so far, nothing too serious.
At least, if it's totalled, you will get a new car. Get the safest model out there, is my advice. It's such chore, car shopping and all, especially this time of the year.To have to go shopping for one out of the clear blue would be even worse.
I'm always get attached to my old car (oh the trips we took together). Have any idea what sort of car your going to get??
I hope matters resolve themselves in a hurry and am grateful your injuries weren't serious.
Best regards and good luck,
KARL
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: mariez on December 02, 2007, 03:23:18 pm
Hope you can feel all the positive energy and best wishes being sent your way, Phillip! Good luck with the car shopping!
Marie
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Pipedream on December 02, 2007, 05:17:16 pm
Thank God. I'm so glad you are ok, Phillip! Get well soon!!!
ANKE
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 02, 2007, 06:11:03 pm
Again, thanks everyone! I am very happy to report I am probably 80% recovered. The wrist pain is now diminished - it's noticeable only if I press on my hand. Typing is now only causing me some minor twinges above my wrist. I think in another day or two this will be a done deal.
On Monday I will begin learning the disposition of the PHILJOHN mobile (it's our license tag). I suspect if they do fix it, we'll not see it again for three weeks. But I have my mom's old Buick Park Avenue (the land yacht), so besides the $50 in gas I had to put into it yesterday, we'll be okay for a car for now.
I'll be missing my XM Radio though!
Anyway, emotionally I am fully back as well. I think having been through this once before has made this second mess easier to deal with. I mostly dread the hassle.
We should be back on track with BetterMost stuff starting Monday morning.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: John Passaniti on December 02, 2007, 06:48:45 pm
And now a few random shots. In picture one, check out the leaves still on the trees bordering us from our neighbors. I spent yesterday raking and blowing the yard and it's becoming clear we'll still be raking in December. Picture two and three shows the view up and down our street, eastbound and then west. The year BBM came out, the entire street was torn up and dug out, replaced from the soil level up, which created a year of chaos, dust, and one-way driving. It looks better now though.
Phil isn't the only one who takes pictures. Following his picture, is a picture of what our street looked like while they were tearing it up.
Anyway, emotionally I am fully back as well. I think having been through this once before has made this second mess easier to deal with. I mostly dread the hassle.
We should be back on track with BetterMost stuff starting Monday morning.
Our awesome leader! You are an inspiration to us all!!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on December 02, 2007, 07:15:28 pm
I suspect if they do fix it, we'll not see it again for three weeks. But I have my mom's old Buick Park Avenue (the land yacht), so besides the $50 in gas I had to put into it yesterday, we'll be okay for a car for now.
??? Are you not entitled to get a rental car (and the other party's inscurance pays for it) for the time it needs to either buy and deliver a new one or have the old one fixed?
Title: Re: Car Hell
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 05, 2007, 06:08:35 pm
So it begins again. Got a call from the collision shop. It turns out it would cost $14,000 to repair the car (engine replacement, H frame replacement, undercarriage bent), which means it's only a matter of time before I get the caller ID: TOTAL LOSS UNIT from State Farm, just like last time. So this means I have to get back into the market.
My early goal will probably be to secure a 2008 Malibu (GM's car that works for me best) but I may look around again. I have to pay off the $6600 still owing on the 2005 from whatever settlement I get. It's always a perpetual car payment. People keep aiming for me.
I'm going through the week in a haze from all of this. This is the absolute wrong time of the year for me to have to worry about this stuff!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on December 05, 2007, 06:10:59 pm
yikes!!! i haven't ever had a car payment! I buy my cars old and fix them up. I don't know how you stand it!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 08, 2007, 12:09:01 am
This morning John and I cleared out the contents of our soon-to-be-junked 2005 Malibu. We got some pictures of the damage from the accident. The hood was intact after the accident but they tore it off at the car dealership during the evaluation process of deciding whether to fix it or junk it. They are junking it.
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 1.jpg) Clearly the driver's side didn't bear the worst of it and my headlamps are actually still there. But the entire frame was bent and you can also see the driver's side panel is dented in slightly.
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 2.jpg) Now the passenger side is very bad. Remarkably, the engine compartment bore all of the major destruction. The tires are fine. The windshield has a small hole in it and is cracked on the passenger side as well. From what I do not know - perhaps the passenger side airbag exploding.
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 3.jpg) Check out that windshield hole closer up, and the massive amount of twisted metal up in the front. The passenger side door and everything behind the engine compartment was untouched in the accident.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 08, 2007, 12:14:46 am
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 4.jpg) Inside the passenger compartment, some mystery tissues, a rubber band and some leaves, but the star of the show is the airbags that blew. They are a heavy canvas like material, and the dealership sort of stuffed them back into the compartments. The passenger side one is much larger than the the driver side, which seemed mostly designed to keep your chest off the steering wheel. My right knee had the most pain after the accident, and for the first time, I can now see why. Check out the lower dash between the steering wheel and the radio, and you'll see a piece of the dash broken and hanging down. When the accident happened, my knees were thrown forward into the dash, and the right one was worse. The steering wheel airbag also threw my right hand down and to the right, and the gear shifter was no doubt what stopped by hand and caused me the pain there during the last week. Also notice that the passenger compartment is basically undamaged.
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 5.jpg) A serious close-up of the engine compartment.
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 7.jpg) Head-on... apply directly to the airbag.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 08, 2007, 12:16:25 am
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 8.jpg) You can see the windshield damage much better in this one.
(http://www.phillipdampier.com/malibu/2005 Malibu 9.jpg) A look inside from the driver's side.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on December 08, 2007, 12:20:38 am
good lort..think how bad your CHEST would be hurting if not for that airbag! the pain in your wrist is a small price to pay...
that is a good example of how good this car does in a collision. How fast did you say you were going when you hit?
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 08, 2007, 12:25:18 am
good lort..think how bad your CHEST would be hurting if not for that airbag! the pain in your wrist is a small price to pay...
that is a good example of how good this car does in a collision. How fast did you say you were going when you hit?
45 mph (it's a fast road in the town of Perinton, NY which is where the grocery store is located I visit every Friday.) Now as soon as this guy was in my path, I hit the brakes instantly, but there just wasn't enough room to brake. I didn't obviously hit him at that speed because I was braking for at least a second, but considering the damage it was fast enough!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 08, 2007, 12:28:28 am
In some lighter news, I have brought home Christmas Treezilla 2007. I really can't help myself. It's another Frasier Fur, which are popular in western New York and are trucked up from the Carolinas. It's another 7' tree and because it was still tightly wrapped, I am not sure exactly how wide this one is going to be.... Last year's conquered the living room.
John hates Christmas in general: "Phil, when are you going to get over the silly sentimentality and icons of Christmas" and either actively dislikes or ignores the Christmas tree project, so I'm bringing my 6'4" cousin over to help assemble things tomorrow.
Photos will be taken. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on December 08, 2007, 12:32:21 am
Wow! Phillip, the pics of your car are just overwhelming. I'm so glad you escaped serious injury.
look forward to the pics of your tree!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on December 08, 2007, 01:25:16 am
In some lighter news, I have brought home Christmas Treezilla 2007. I really can't help myself. It's another Frasier Fur, which are popular in western New York and are trucked up from the Carolinas. It's another 7' tree and because it was still tightly wrapped, I am not sure exactly how wide this one is going to be.... Last year's conquered the living room.
John hates Christmas in general: "Phil, when are you going to get over the silly sentimentality and icons of Christmas" and either actively dislikes or ignores the Christmas tree project, so I'm bringing my 6'4" cousin over to help assemble things tomorrow.
Photos will be taken. :)
Hey Mayor,
Well, I think you more than deserve a little fun and holiday cheer with putting up the Christmas tree after all you've been through lately. Hope you have a great time decorating. :)
(http://bestsmileys.com/christmas1/10.gif)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: David In Indy on December 08, 2007, 05:41:13 am
Oh God Phillip! Thank God you are okay!! Those pictures are conjuring up really bad visions for me. I was in a car accident about a year ago, and those pictures of yours look eerily like mine. I skidded across two lanes on I-465 and collided against the guard rail. I guess in both of our cases, we had an angel sitting on our shoulder. Those airbags hurt like hell, but I'm glad they were in my car.
I'm so happy you are okay.
{{{PHILLIP)))
Please take good care of yourself! :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on December 08, 2007, 08:41:57 am
geesh Phillip - Jess is right - glad you had such a safe car.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: MaineWriter on December 08, 2007, 08:53:45 am
Those pictures are awful, Phillip. Yikes...glad you are safe!
Treezilla....heh heh heh....
My old house has small rooms and low ceilings, so we look for the smallest tree on the lot. Here in Maine, most trees come from Canada.
L
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: belbbmfan on December 08, 2007, 01:44:57 pm
Jeez Phillip, thank god for airbags!
I'll look forward to the decorarting pics! My husband's in the same categorie as you I think. I think we'll have to cut the top of the tree he bought home today, otherwise, it won't fit in our living room.
He'll be decorating tomorrow too, together with the kids. And I'll be making egg nog for the first time in my life! :o
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on December 08, 2007, 02:01:00 pm
ai yi yi!
(I havent got any airbags I don't think... my car is a 1988.) But then again I've never hit anything so....
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: MaineWriter on December 08, 2007, 02:01:43 pm
John hates Christmas in general: "Phil, when are you going to get over the silly sentimentality and icons of Christmas" and either actively dislikes or ignores the Christmas tree project, so I'm bringing my 6'4" cousin over to help assemble things tomorrow.
No, that's not quite right. I don't hate Christmas. But Phil makes this mistake every year; he sees that I have no interest in the iconic trappings of Christmas, but completely ignores my search for meaning and worth in the holiday itself. For example, Phil will repeatedly point out that I have zero interest in setting up a Christmas tree, stringing garland, putting lights in the windows, etc. But Phil doesn't ever talk about the few times in my life when Christmas actually produced in me a sense of joy and wonder and gratitude and happiness. And the reason for that? Because the joy and wonder and gratitude and happiness didn't come from the things you can buy in a store. They came from reflection and introspection and a genuine tear that falls not because some Hollywood director cued a violin swell or a some hackneyed archetype of Christmas crossed my path.
And yes, Phil is correct that I wish he would get past all this nonsense. But what Phil constantly misses is the next part-- I don't just want to get rid of it, but replace it with something personal and meaningful and worthwhile to both of us. I want to replace the idiotic Christmas traditions that have been sold to us since we were kids and replace it with a new Christmas tradition that's based on something real.
Yeah, I hate Christmas. I want to replace the gift-giving between our family members with buying a toy for the kids who are case numbers in the local Department of Social Services. I want our family to get together and donate our time to a group like Habitat for Humanity. I want to replace the time I would travel to see family members who barely remember me to spend some time with the elderly in our neighborhood who have nobody. I want to see all the money wasted on gifts people don't need to be donated instead to a cause (like a local hospice). Or in short, I want Christmas to be spent not worrying if the star on the top of the tree is on straight, but coming up with new and creative ideas to do something for others.
Yeah, I hate Christmas.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shasta542 on December 08, 2007, 08:33:08 pm
"I want to replace the gift-giving between our family members with buying a toy for the kids who are case numbers in the local Department of Social Services. I want our family to get together and donate our time to a group like Habitat for Humanity. I want to replace the time I would travel to see family members who barely remember me to spend some time with the elderly in our neighborhood who have nobody. I want to see all the money wasted on gifts people don't need to be donated instead to a cause (like a local hospice). Or in short, I want Christmas to be spent not worrying if the star on the top of the tree is on straight, but coming up with new and creative ideas to do something for others."
:)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on December 08, 2007, 08:37:21 pm
One of the hardest parts of being a couple is figuring out that middle ground...each person giving up enough that they can meet in the middle. But you two have been through a lot together...you'll make it thru this too.
The holidays are SUCH a stressful time and this year sounds like it is gonna be a doozy in your household, John, so much going on....wishing you both as much peace and comfort you can get. Be kind to one another.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on December 08, 2007, 08:58:56 pm
Glad to see you probably don't look like that car Philip. You and John are both healthy and strong, and have a warm and wonderful place to live. You can get another car.. and the trees will come and go..But you can count your Christmas a wonderful time of year, as long as you care for each other and are thankful for all you do have. Forgive my butting in.. but its how I feel about it... Merry Christmas, Yule, whatever.. Janice
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on December 10, 2007, 06:01:47 am
Wow Phillip I have never had the experence of airbag deployment, but I am glad they are standard anymore.
John I agree with you about the holliday I am fond of calling Xmess. I think my family is starting to come around to the fact that we all have everything already so it is kind of pointless to try and give gifts. I never decorate for it, but I do enjoy icicle lights so much I have a couple of rooms illuminated but them year 'round.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on December 10, 2007, 06:35:22 am
We had early gift-exchange with my in laws today because we'll be away at Christmas. We have really pared it down. The group of us is basically made up of three small families. Each family as a unit gives the individuals of the other two small families one small, simple present that we KNOW they want. For example, my sister in law's family gave me a pair of potholders because on Thanksgiving, while standing in my kitchen I told her that would make a great gift for me. My family gave my sister in law photo printer paper, because she told me recently her husband (Lord of the Computer at their house) won't "let" her "waste" "his." Now she has her own.
Anyway, Mr. Meno, MiniMeno and I arrived for the gift exchange with 6 small to medium presents to hand out to 6 people. Everybody got something they wanted enough. Done.
I want to be that way with my side of the family on Christmas. We are super-fortunate to have our needs met.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 10, 2007, 06:48:18 pm
Well, here we go again. My father's cancer has returned and has now gotten into the liver, which is not at all a good sign. At the moment, doctors are not certain the cancer is spreading in an uncontrollable way, and want to do a new CT scan three months from now. I'm not satisfied with that treatment plan and we'll be consulting with Roswell and possibly one of the cancer treatment hospitals in New York City to see about beginning some sort of chemotherapy a.s.a.p., to arrest the development of what has already appeared. Colon cancer that appears in the liver or lungs is indicative of stage four of the disease and life expectancy can really only be increased by controlling the spread of the cancer cells in hopes of either slowing it down or stopping its advancement. There is no real cure at this point.
Emotionally, this is obviously a major hit after my mom passed away from cancer in November 2006. But there are options remaining to us which could keep him reasonably healthy for quite sometime.
This is also a reminder to everyone to not put off colon cancer screening (colonoscopy) at age 50 (40 if you have a family history). I'll be getting my first one after the holidays. The earlier a polyp can be seen and removed before becoming cancerous, the better.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on December 10, 2007, 06:51:43 pm
I am so sorry Phillip, my god that is bad news, I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers.
Please know that your extended family is here for you.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on December 10, 2007, 07:04:11 pm
oh Phillip. I'm so sorry :'(
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on December 10, 2007, 07:17:31 pm
it sounds like your more aggressive plan makes more sense, Phillip... very sorry to hear about the developments... best wishes to you and your Dad.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: MaineWriter on December 10, 2007, 07:22:53 pm
Going to Roswell for a second opinion, or Sloan-Kettering in NYC certainly sounds like a very good idea. Like you, I would not be happy to be told to wait three months for another CAT scan. I think you are wise to be assertive in this case.
And your colonoscopy advice is good, too. The procedure itself is not bad at all and the prep isn't as awful as it used to be. Colon cancer is one of the very few cancers that can be prevented with screening.
I'll be thinking of you and your Dad, Phillip, and holding you in my thoughts.
Leslie
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on December 10, 2007, 09:57:40 pm
Oh Phillip. :( I'm so sorry to hear your news. And, I agree that is sounds like a good idea to get some alternative opinions from other hospitals and doctors.
Sending you best wishes.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Wayne on December 10, 2007, 11:16:43 pm
Wishing the best for you and your dad Phillip.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Meryl on December 11, 2007, 01:08:02 am
Phillip, I'm so sorry to hear the news about your father. I'm sending you lots of energy and prayers now. Take care of yourself, too.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: belbbmfan on December 11, 2007, 02:42:38 am
We're sending you our best wishes for you and your dad. Take care.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Penthesilea on December 11, 2007, 05:37:56 am
Oh Phillip, I'm so sorry to hear the sad news :(. You are in my thoughts and I send my best wishes to you, your dad and John.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Scott6373 on December 11, 2007, 09:45:55 am
Phillip,
I am sorry to hear of your father's health issues. Know that you are in Rick's and my thoughts. Remember to breathe!
Scott
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Jeff Wrangler on December 11, 2007, 10:18:26 am
Sorry to hear the news, Phillip. Good thoughts and prayers comin' your way for all of you. ...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brokeback_Dev on December 11, 2007, 10:46:31 am
You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. We can only hope and pray for the best. Definitely get that second opinion. Take good care of yourself too.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 11, 2007, 11:03:46 am
Thanks to everyone. We may approach Sloan-Kettering if Roswell also wants to take a wait and see approach. This whole thing is just crazy. What is also evident in how much things have changed in my life since BBM is the back-of-my-mind consideration of Ennis' coping without both parents a lot earlier in life, sort of reminding me some people have it even worse than I.
My biggest fear is going through a year of declining health for him similar to what happened with my mom and the enormous stress that put on her as well as the entire family. I'm doing reasonably okay with this right now because the situation isn't immediately dire.
Meanwhile, the police report for the car accident arrived and couldn't have been written more in my favor. I didn't realize there were two witnesses to the accident who gave their info to the sheriff's deputy. State Farm has settled for around $12500 after the $500 deductible which I'll likely get back in the spring after subrogation, plus a $150 inconvenience bonus (I didn't rent a car so they pay $10 a day to help you with gas/inconvenience for borrowing someone elses.)
The biggest inconvenience in driving the land yacht my mother had - the 2001 Buick Park Avenue Old People Edition is the $52 it costs to fill it up. After driving this boat around, it clues me in better why people who drive these things often irritate me because they are 10 miles under the speed limit and take forever to get up to speed. That's because it takes a lot to get these things up to the speed limit, and the entire feel of the driving experience and the engine noise encourages people to drive slower. A V6 Malibu has serious get up and go and is much more responsive than the Park Avenue.
The biggest thing I am missing, outside of the car itself, is the XM Radio, which I got hooked on and have managed to keep going in the car through their retention plan (when you threaten to cancel because it costs too much and you tell them you heard about a yearly plan for $77 they give to people to keep the service, they usually let you have that plan over and over again.) I can't stand local radio.
BTW, State Farm pays nothing for a total loss for what used to be the add-ons XM Radio and OnStar (I only had XM) which they call "subscription services." Both are now standard on all GM vehicles, so it's becoming a dead issue, but they encouraged me to take the XM Radio box out of the trunk and keep it/sell it. I had managed, of all things, to leave the garage door opener in the Malibu after cleaning it out on Friday so yesterday we returned to the car dealer to collect both of those things. The car will be towed to an auction house for scrap later today. My father seems to think based on the lack of damage to the interior and rear that the car will likely live again through a technique they call "clipping."
Everything north of the windshield wipers will probably be sawed off on my car, and they'll find some totalled Malibu that got rear-ended and basically weld together someone else's undamaged front end to my undamaged passenger compartment and rear end and create a "new" car out of it.
What a concept. I wouldn't own something like this, but for someone who wants something under $5000 with a refurbished engine and a perfectly good interior and rear (and six month old Michellin tires I just put on the thing which were completely undamaged), it might work for them.
Alternatively, they will simply take the thing apart and resell individual undamaged components as "salvaged parts."
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on December 14, 2007, 01:24:05 pm
Phillip, I'm sending as much positive energy and prayers to your dad.
I can't believe they would take a "wait and see" approach with cancer. Makes no sense to me at all.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 17, 2007, 10:12:16 pm
The Blogging Experience
BetterMost continues to experiment with the concept of independent blogging by our individual residents in threads they essentially own and control to report on their lives, experiences, challenges, and more. It's a concept that can be liberating and maddening at the same time, because each person's blog is essentially their own home and property here in the community.
Sometimes things can get controversial in individual blogs, and it's always important to remember that these differ considerably from our other forums here because the owner of the blog can determine what messages can stay, and which need to go. At first glance, this would seem to remove any concept of freedom of speech and expression within a blog, because the author can censor whatever he or she wants. But actually this isn't the case, because any blogger here can raise any issue they like in their own blog. As long as the first and most important rule of BetterMost is never violated -- no personal attacks, discussions can be free-wheeling and debates can develop over issues raised in different blogs. And if someone wants a post or reply removed from their blog, they have the right to ask for that and you should avoid taking that too personally. In fact, you can still voice your opinion on an issue removed from one blog by posting it in your own. Just remember not to personally attack anyone in the process.
The freedom and power Our Daily Thoughts provides is a double-edged sword, because the community here can observe all actions, good and bad, and will often develop impressions of people based on how they conduct themselves in their blogs (and visiting and replying in others). The best impression you can make is to be tolerant of diverse opinions, try to be respectful in presenting your own views, and know when to stop kicking an issue to death. If I find someone's views intolerable and completely out of the realm of what I personally find acceptable, I'm not forced to spend time reading them, and nobody else is forced to either. I think it's always important to spend your time here focusing on the things that provide you enjoyment and fulfillment, and to avoid those things that distract or prevent you from finding that enjoyment or fulfillment.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: dot-matrix on December 18, 2007, 01:09:31 am
Wise words Phillip. Thank You once again for being the voice reason in an emotional and volitile situation.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 20, 2007, 01:10:20 am
I am nearing my 3,500th public message here (it's actually been more than that when you consider I tend to delete my own expired administrative-oriented messages.) That puts me above the average user, but hardly near the top of the pile with several folks well above 10,000 messages.
Christmas is coming fast this year and I am barely finished with Treezilla, the Christmas tree for 2007. This is about the latest I have ever erected a tree, and I have a suspicion this particular holiday season will fly by mostly unnoticed. I'm just not in the mood for it for some reason. I'm not upset that I'm not in the mood - I just don't feel very holiday-giddy. I suspect the car drama from a few weeks ago coupled with my father's medical issues are mostly responsible for this, but also just the busy-ness factor. So much to do and not enough time to do it, especially after this past weekend's snowstorm which kept me outdoors shovelling repeatedly.
I am still shopping for others for Christmas, so I'm going to be obsessed with that for the next day or two, which is also why the banner this week was late.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: injest on December 20, 2007, 01:17:12 am
I am hearing from a LOT of people that it just doesnt' 'feel' like Christmas this year... :-\
don't know what the cure is...but it seems the blues have hit everyone all at the same time.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on December 20, 2007, 02:56:44 am
Yes, i have the urge to just forget all of it but the Christmas dinner...make dinner and have everyone just visit,, done deal.. bah humbug... I am ms scrooge :P
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 28, 2007, 06:41:52 pm
My rampage begins as I seek out who in what mall decided to give me a rotten cold which erupted on Christmas Eve of all times. ARGH!!!! I am sitting here with the Puffs Plus (the lotiony tissues) and hacking my head off. I hate colds.
This sort of frosted the whole Christmas season cake for me. I'm glad to be done with it this year. I never got into it anyway.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on December 28, 2007, 07:05:21 pm
Scrooge mode OFF:
I didn't celebrate Christmas, now I can relax with everyone who didn't enjoy it and pretend I suffered along with all of you!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on December 31, 2007, 06:07:23 pm
Well, the cold is now in my ears which is driving me crazy. I hate the plugged ear thing, but I always get it. This is one of the more rotten colds I've had.
And goody, another big winter storm is on the way here for tomorrow. Another foot of snow to go with the 30+ inches we got during December. Argh...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shasta542 on December 31, 2007, 06:15:18 pm
Sorry you're sick for the holidays, Phillip. Hope you feel better ASAP!!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on January 01, 2008, 11:19:38 am
Hope you and John have a wonderful and prosperous New Year. I hope you and all of your family as well, have a healthier and more comfortable year also.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on January 04, 2008, 09:46:49 am
Happy \new Year Phillip - I hope it brings what you need and want and health for the family - thanks for creating BM!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on January 06, 2008, 07:32:40 pm
Phillip, thank you for all you give us here. Happy New Year, Friend!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on January 06, 2008, 08:11:17 pm
Phillip, thank you for all you give us here. Happy New Year, Friend!
I send the exact same thoughts back in your direction!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life - Ski Banff & Walgreens Print Sale
Post by: Phillip Dampier on January 06, 2008, 08:15:07 pm
I've been heartened to see the banner ad from time to time today inviting me to "Ski Banff!" That immediately brought up some great memories from this past July, and I finally finished uploading and cropping and captioning all of my pics from our great Alberta filming location trip on Walgreens website and have about 400 prints waiting for me to pick up tonight! I am too much a perfectionist, carefully having to label and crop everything and organize it. These should have been printed ages ago.
Walgreens allows you to "share" photo albums to let friends have the opportunity to review -and- obtain prints their own (and at 10c each until 1/12 using the coupon code JOY - for in store pickup or by mail). If anyone wants me to "share" my albums with them, just send me a PM with your account info on Walgreens (the e-mail address you have used to register with them online) and then you'll have access to my uploaded full resolution pictures, which can be printed at any desired size by Walgreens. I suppose I should probably get some mousepads and other goodies made up, but if you can't wait for me....
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on January 06, 2008, 09:51:55 pm
I just picked up the photos ... all 440 of them! I kept Walgreens busy today. This was my first experience doing online photo developing for in-store pickup, so I learned a few things:
1) All of my pics are in the raw original hi res format. You will want to manually crop the ones you select - you can move them side by side or up and down (the vertical ones need you to manually center them the way you want from right to left and the horizontal ones need to be moved up or down slightly because of the variations in 4x6 photos vs. their current digital resolution). Cropping is real easy. You can zoom in and re-center whatever in the pictures you want to keep.
2) The cropping is not exact. I cropped mine very tightly and it turned out to be too much on a few where the tips of trees or edges of signs I zoomed in closely on got cut off. It's not awful by any means, but you should always leave some leeway on the sides because when the pictures print, they will be slightly smaller than the cropped image you work with online. I selected the entire album to print and then choose the option to review my pictures in the order, which let me crop them one by one. I learned to save my work every 20 pictures or so, because if Walgreens website has a problem, you lose all of your unsaved cropping work. You can select as few or as many pics to print as you like.
3) Walgreens only prints on glossy paper for in store pickup - matte finish is also available if you want home shipped delivery. I chose mine with no borders on the edge. You may want to use borders if you are used to pictures having them. Glossy paper looks fine, although it's slightly thinner paper stock than traditional film paper.
4) The images print slightly darker than the on screen version, but only slightly so.
5) I spent oodles of time carefully attaching captions to every picture. Some photo places print your captions on the back of the photo, which is what I was hoping for here. No go with Walgreens - argh... lots of time spent working on that, too.
6) The images are organized by date order, and in most cases, are chronological. They are numbered. All of these pictures were posted in the Alberta Pilgrimage mini-forum, so if you want to use another processor to print copies, you can download each picture from there in a high resolution format.
7) The estimates Walgreens provides for completion of your order was very conservative. I wasn't anticipating having all of my orders finished before Tuesday, but they were all done early this afternoon, within 12 hours of placing the order.
8) Don't forget to use the coupon code JOY in the box towards the bottom of the online order form and then hit the box to retotal your order. You should receive the discount immediately for all orders of 30 prints or more. The coupon is good for up to five uses per account and expires 1/12/08. It's one of the lowest prices (10c per 4x6) of the year for Walgreens and a lot of people are taking advantage of it.
If you have any questions, just let me know.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: underdown on January 08, 2008, 08:32:18 am
3) Walgreens only prints on glossy paper for in store pickup - matte finish is also available if you want home shipped delivery. I chose mine with no borders on the edge. You may want to use borders if you are used to pictures having them. Glossy paper looks fine, although it's slightly thinner paper stock than traditional film paper.
And don't forget, if you want to put pics in frames, it's usually best to choose to have borders, and trim them if necessary, so that the frame does not cover part of the pic. :)
Rob
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: John Passaniti on January 09, 2008, 07:03:25 pm
4) The images print slightly darker than the on screen version, but only slightly so.
This statement really doesn't mean much. Phil doesn't calibrate his monitor (for "color temperature", brightness, contrast, and "gamma") and even if he did, I don't know if Walgreen's uses any specific color-matching system. Most people don't calibrate their monitors, so the same images can look wildly different. That's one of the problems that web designers have-- take the image on the top of this page. I can clearly see the texture of the individual trees on my monitor, but someone who has their monitor a bit darker or with other settings may not see the same thing. This is also why when I pick hues, saturations, and luminance values, I'll tweak my monitor's settings to see what it looks like over a range of settings. You can never get the same look everywhere, but you can try to find a happy medium.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on January 24, 2008, 10:22:49 am
Mornin' Phillip, I was wondering how your Dad and family are getting along. Hope he has had some good news, there certainly is room in the world for it right now.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Dagi on January 24, 2008, 04:48:56 pm
Hi Phillip,
just meant to drop by and say thank you for all the work you are doing to help your Brokie Pals through this hard time.
{{{{Phillip}}}}
Dagi
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on January 24, 2008, 07:46:32 pm
Mornin' Phillip, I was wondering how your Dad and family are getting along. Hope he has had some good news, there certainly is room in the world for it right now.
Sorry I didn't reply to this sooner... things are hopping around here and I think I haven't been able to get down past the first half dozen forums....
We are consulting with Roswell and then if we don't like what they have to say, we'll send dad to Sloan Kettering in NYC. Right now we don't know if the spots on his liver are growing, staying the same, or what. But we also don't want to sit around and wait to find out because of what we went through with my mom. So no big news either way at the moment. We'll see what February brings.
And thanks to Dagi and Kelda for their nice thoughts. But it's a team effort around here, and on some things I don't know what works best, which is why I rely on everyone else to help out! :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on January 30, 2008, 11:15:35 pm
Hey Phillip, thinking of your dad.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on January 31, 2008, 01:06:23 am
Yes, absolutely, I'm sending my best thoughts to you and your father as well.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 12, 2008, 01:25:29 am
The latest developments:
1) Dad's blood tests reveal the cancer has returned aggressively and he will be undergoing another scan on Wednesday and then we're likely back to the chemo. He ended up in the hospital over the weekend when he did his fire department physical and his heart rate was twice the normal rate. He finally admitted to ordering and taking one of those online "energy booster" medications (this is why we have spam, people). I'll say, the product has four different variations of caffeine and other stimulants. It might as well be speed. No wonder the heart rate shot up. It's stuff like this that give people strokes. Folks need to stop ordering these supplements over the Internet. They may be labeled innocently enough, but any stimulant product like this carries the major risk of heart rate increases into the danger level. He's learned his lesson.
2) I am still fighting off the Xmas eve cold, which deteriorated into bronchitis and sinusitis, and I learned today after sitting in the doctor's office for several hours that I have a very mild form of pneumonia - walking pneumonia (oh boy - who knew walking would cause that... heh). It's not that big of a deal, and I've been given a special inhaler and got some additional meds to take. The primary symptom, which reminds me of last year, is that my voice is shot and is usually near-gone after 20 minutes. Also, my mouth is very dry all the time, no matter how much water I drink. This is a big nuisance more than anything else.
I feel absolutely fine and normal except for the occasional wheezing, coughing, and a voice that says "Marlboro" was a part of my life, even though I've never smoked a thing in my life.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on February 12, 2008, 02:57:22 pm
:-\
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Ellemeno on February 13, 2008, 11:53:58 pm
Oh Phil, I'm glad your father told what he'd been taking. Sounds like slowing down is hard on him. Also, good you figured out what you needed. Wishing you lots of healing...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: louisev on February 14, 2008, 12:16:08 am
oh Phillip, so sorry to hear of all the complications! I hope your dad is doing better, and I hope you are doing better! No shoveling for you!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shasta542 on February 14, 2008, 12:25:44 am
Keeping you and your dad in my thoughts, Phillip. I hope you shake that cold/bronchitis soon. Take care!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on February 14, 2008, 01:04:06 am
Hi Phillip,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and about your own health woes at the moment. You're most certainly in my thoughts. :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: SFEnnisSF on February 14, 2008, 01:06:11 am
Hang in there Phillip. :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: BBMGrandma on February 14, 2008, 03:14:21 am
Awwww....Philip.....I'm so sorry to hear you're a little under the weather....both physically and emotionally...!!! Hang in there my friend. ::::hanging a little candlelight at the end of the tunnel for ya::::
And BTW.....an old Grannie recipe here for coughs and colds....<sinus too>
HOT WATER Fresh LEMON....<squeeze in the water> 1 tbsp of HONEY Five or six whole cloves A Jigger of rum/whiskey/brandy
Get under the blankies....rub some Camphor on your chest....and drink!!!
Bye for Now Philip......Nancy
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: TOoP/Bruce on February 14, 2008, 05:55:14 am
((((Phillip))))
Take care of yourself, Phillip. My thoughts are with you...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: mvansand76 on February 14, 2008, 06:27:42 am
{{{{{Phillip}}}}}
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I will be sending him and you lots of positive energy all the way from the Netherlands...
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: j.U.d.E. on February 14, 2008, 07:16:28 am
Sorry to hear this, Philip!
Sending you 1 000 big hugs!! :-* :-*
j. U. d. E.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: belbbmfan on February 14, 2008, 07:35:43 am
Hey Phillip,
Take good care of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your dad right now.
hugs Fabienne
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kerry on February 14, 2008, 09:22:43 am
You and your Dad are in my thoughts, Phillip. Take good care. :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: nova20194 on February 14, 2008, 09:42:13 am
Sending positive thoughts to you and your Dad.
Get well, Phillip.
Bob
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Shakesthecoffecan on February 14, 2008, 09:50:46 am
So sorry to hear of these developments. Sending positive thoughts to you and yours.
Happy Valentines Day to you and John. :-* :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Jeff Wrangler on February 14, 2008, 09:53:42 am
Hey, Phillip,
So sorry to hear you and your dad have hit some rough sledding. :(
Thinking of you both. ...
Jeff
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: loneleeb3 on February 14, 2008, 09:57:42 am
Hey Phillip! I am so sorry to hear of your current tribulations. My Dad is fighting Cancer right now as well and it looks like it's wining. However, they can do some remarkable things so don't give up hope!! As for yourself young man! Get some rest and drink fluids balh blah blah blah..... You know the drill! You ain't gonna be no good to nobody unless you take good care a you! Thoughts and prayers are going out and up for you and yours today!! Richard :-*
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on February 14, 2008, 09:57:51 am
Phillip, I'm sorry to hear you have so much to deal with now!
Sending you positive thoughts and vibes, and keeping your dad in my prayers.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: southendmd on February 14, 2008, 10:01:39 am
Phillip, sorry to hear about your Dad's bad news. Take care of yourself and thanks for all you do for us.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: serious crayons on February 14, 2008, 10:57:46 am
Phillip, I'll send you and your dad some good healing thoughts. Hope you and John have a happy Valentine's Day.
Katherine
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: tamarack on February 14, 2008, 11:08:26 am
Aw, Phillip. I'm sorry things aren't going so well at the moment. I've experienced walking pneumonia myself, so I can certainly emphasize with what you're going through.
Granny's recipe looks interesting. It sure couldn't hurt.
Take care of yourself, too.
Lauren
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Lumière on February 14, 2008, 02:23:52 pm
Phillip ~
Sending Many Warm, Healing Thoughts to your father and yourself. Get well soon. Happy Valentine's Day to you & yours. :)
~M
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: mariez on February 14, 2008, 02:58:26 pm
Hi Phillip,
I'm adding my positive thoughts to all the others. Hope they offer some comfort. (I've had pneumonia twice - once was the "walking" kind - so I can really relate.) Take care.
Marie
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: MaineWriter on February 14, 2008, 03:09:06 pm
Phillip,
So sorry to hear all this illness news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad.
Leslie
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ednbarby on February 14, 2008, 04:08:59 pm
So sorry to hear of this, Phillip. Hope you're starting to feel better.
My Dad is battling cancer, too - glioblastoma multiforme (a very aggressive form of brain cancer). He just started Round 2 of chemo this past Friday. If you ever want to talk to someone who understands all too well, you know where to find me, bud.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Meryl on February 14, 2008, 06:46:44 pm
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: memento on February 14, 2008, 07:13:23 pm
Phillip,
So sorry to hear about your Dad's illness. Remember to take care of yourself too. Happy Valentine's Day to you and John.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on February 14, 2008, 07:34:46 pm
Take care of yourself, and hope you get better soon. Sending you special good thoughts for you, and your father. He is lucky to have a caring son and son in law like you and John.......feel better soon. janice
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Pipedream on February 15, 2008, 04:55:16 pm
Get well soon, Phillip!!!! And your Dad, too!!! :-\
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Aloysius J. Gleek on February 17, 2008, 05:42:04 am
Peace and Tranquility to you, Phillip, to your family and friends.
xxx John
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: ptannen on February 20, 2008, 01:38:02 am
Phillip,
Sorry to read about your Dad and that you are sick, too. I'm also sending along my good wishes and thoughts to you.
It was great to meet you and John in Alberta and I hope we cross paths again. I've never been to Rochester and other parts of upstate NY (even though I grew up i nYonkers and NYC), so I may pay you guys a visit one of htese days.
Hugs,
Pete
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Phillip Dampier on February 22, 2008, 07:53:29 pm
Thanks to everyone for their well wishes. I am very glad to report that the CT scan they performed showed no change or growth in the spots they identified, so he's been giving a tentative clean bill of health and a request to return in three months for another scan. We are still going to pursue a second opinion, probably at Sloan-Kettering, just to see if their is any preventative chemotherapy or other treatment that can arrest any potential development.
But a sigh of relief for us for now.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on February 24, 2008, 09:19:09 am
yay! :D
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: belbbmfan on February 27, 2008, 03:18:35 am
That's good news about your dad Phillip. That must be a big relief to you.
:)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on February 27, 2008, 04:50:56 pm
It's so nice to hear your positive/ reassuring news Mayor! :)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on March 09, 2008, 02:45:43 am
glad to hear the good news!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Brown Eyes on April 25, 2008, 11:52:28 pm
Happy Birthday Phillip!
I hope you had a wonderful day!
8)
If you're still in the mood to celebrate, come check out the parade in town! ;) :) http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,20262.0.html (http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,20262.0.html)
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Front-Ranger on October 12, 2008, 03:50:53 pm
I was reading in the weekend tabloid about how Queen Elizabeth keeps small animal amulets in her purse for good luck. The source of the info was Phil Dampier, author of the book What's in the Queen's Handbag. Phillip, you never cease to amaze me with your multitalents!!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on November 27, 2008, 12:57:18 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to wish you a very happy and healthy holiday season!!!!
Title: Happy Holidays, Phillip and John!
Post by: Lynne on December 25, 2008, 01:49:00 am
Wishing you, John, and your loved ones a wonderful and stress-free holiday season and all the best in the upcoming year!
Thank you for the gift of BetterMost - the hard work you both expend - to make an Internet home for us. I'm looking forward to another year together in our little Wyoming community!
I was reading in the weekend tabloid about how Queen Elizabeth keeps small animal amulets in her purse for good luck. The source of the info was Phil Dampier, author of the book What's in the Queen's Handbag. Phillip, you never cease to amaze me with your multitalents!!
Phillip has neither confirmed nor denied writing this book!!
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on May 24, 2011, 03:28:52 pm
Phillip, my sincere condolences on the loss of your father. Peace be to him, and to you and your family at this time.
Love, Meryl
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Kelda on December 21, 2011, 01:37:59 pm
Yes, sorry to hear your news.
Best wishes to you.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: CellarDweller on December 27, 2011, 10:04:10 am
Phillip, my condolences on the loss of your father. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family at this difficult time.
Title: Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Post by: Peter John Shields on January 30, 2012, 01:30:50 am
Hi Philip, So sorry to hear about the loss of your Father. Hope you have had alot of peace and quiet since his passing. My thoughts are with you. Peter