BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Our BetterMost Community => Chez Tremblay => Topic started by: Phillip Dampier on April 03, 2006, 02:26:01 pm
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Attention All Users
I have received a substantial number of messages from BetterMost users regarding users appearing on the forum as hidden. This happens when a user sets their profile to not Show others your online status. Many users have expressed concern about this option potentially being abused by trolls if/when they reach this site. It has further caused a lot of suspicion about the merits of this option being used by users.
Because I've had well over a dozen members contact me about this matter, I am going to be turning off the "hidden" option for members effective April 5th. I wanted to give advance warning before doing this so users are aware of the change.
I want to let users who did choose not to be listed in the online status that you did absolutely nothing wrong, nor has anyone who has used this option been a concern to me at all. But considering the sensitivity of forum members who have been through a lot during the Troll Wars, I'm going to turn this option off for now.
Thanks for your understanding.
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Wow - a sensitive, thoughtful and proactive administrator? Phillip, you're a doll. Us refugees from IMDb aren't used to such nice treatment - it will take some getting used to! :)
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Wow Philip, if bettermost were a hotel I would give it 7 stars! I love it here and as Nicole said we are not used to the briliant treatment we recieve here, I feel spoiled! :-*
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Phillip, you're just too good to us. I was wondering about that. Thanks again for EVERYTHING! :-*
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Hi Phillip,
Thanks for everything, the site is amazing. I wouldn't know the first thing about creating such a thing but I'm glad people with that knowledge are out there!
The 'hidden' thing has been interesting to me. When there's only one person hidden and they are posting, it's kinda easy to figure out who is hidden! That has been endlessly amusing me.... hehehe...
OK, that's all on the hidden thang and thanks again...
:) Jimmy
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Paranoia reigns. Can't we get over it?
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Paranoia reigns. Can't we get over it?
Hopefully after several weeks or bliss around here, these kinds of concerns will drift away... to Sweden. :)
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Paranoia reigns. Can't we get over it?
Hopefully after several weeks or bliss around here, these kinds of concerns will drift away... to Sweden. :)
Hopefully. Please don't take what I said as having anything to do with you, or your site. I was there, I reported trolls, hell I dug up the little twerps picture...but I don't feel like living in fear either.
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My goodness Surf, you rarely have anything nice to say do you? Always something contrary or patronizing (ie: your disparaging of Windows comes to mind), and your posts are just generally unpleasant and have a lot of attitude. Rarely anything positive.
I'm just going to have to learn not to read your posts here as there's no ignore feature.
You know what, I think I'm done here anyway. I'm not on the same wave length of anyone here anymore and yeah, Windows DOES stink. Sorry. Adios.
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I've noticed you've been pretty bitchy...I guess that's not the same wave length as everyone here.
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My goodness Surf, you rarely have anything nice to say do you? Always something contrary or patronizing (ie: your disparaging of Windows comes to mind), and your posts are just generally unpleasant and have a lot of attitude. Rarely anything positive.
I'm just going to have to learn not to read your posts here as there's no ignore feature.
Okay, folks. Everyone needs to settle down on this. First, no personal attacks on here... ever (except disparaging trolls, it's fun for venting). My ultra important top number one mega nuclear super duper serious rule is no personal attacks. There is nothing wrong with debating issues, but leave personalities out of it.
We are all one big family here and we need to be here to support each other. We can't do that if people lash out at each other. I won't allow this to happen because it would be just as bad as the trolls.
Thanks for understanding this.
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Oh Phillip, another reason to love you....
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Phillip, I have no problem with blatant sucking up, so...
You're the best website owner guy ever!
Seriously, you've made us feel so welcomed and it appears, you've even listened to our complaints. We aren't used to that, so we thank you.
Has anyone noticed if I'm invisible?
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(You're invisible?)
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erm....I can see you sparkle, so either I'm Haley Joel Osmett or you're not invisible!
;D
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Okay, folks. Everyone needs to settle down on this. First, no personal attacks on here... ever (except disparaging trolls, it's fun for venting). My ultra important top number one mega nuclear super duper serious rule is no personal attacks. There is nothing wrong with debating issues, but leave personalities out of it.
We are all one big family here and we need to be here to support each other. We can't do that if people lash out at each other. I won't allow this to happen because it would be just as bad as the trolls.
Thanks Phillip - thanks for this and for everything. 'Nuf said. :angel:
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I was just wondering if I was one of the hidden people and didn't realize it.
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No you're not hidden sparkle. Am I?
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nope Courtney, you're visible. :)
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I like the idea of turning off the hidden capability feature. I can't figure out what benefit it has. The transparency here is so healthy!
Surf, I PMed you.
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I was just wondering if I was one of the hidden people and didn't realize it.
You have to chose to be hidden...
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Phillip wrote: Okay, folks. Everyone needs to settle down on this. First, no personal attacks on here... ever (except disparaging trolls, it's fun for venting). My ultra important top number one mega nuclear super duper serious rule is no personal attacks. There is nothing wrong with debating issues, but leave personalities out of it.
We are all one big family here and we need to be here to support each other. We can't do that if people lash out at each other. I won't allow this to happen because it would be just as bad as the trolls.
Thanks for understanding this.[/quote[
Thank You Phi, you are so rightl...Words to live by People listen up!
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I hope Surf hasn't gone for good. Hell, braving blizzards to go to Santa Monica - he's the mailman of Brokies. And as for slagging off Windows, doesn't everybody?
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While I understand why the feature is being turned off... I'm somewhat saddened by it. You know, the whole sacrificing freedom for security thing... it all seems like what's going on in our country today.
I've been one of the people opting for the hidden option... but I was only doing it for this week because I've been doing a lot more lurking than I have been posting. I had planned to turn it off whenever I got back into the swing of things and was done with my "me time" week.
I understand why people might be wary of the "hidden" feature... but I don't understand why so many complaints were filed when nothing bad happened. Here I had been reamed for being so sensitive during the first days... and here people are submitting complaints because a user has opted to be hidden? Weird...
I will have to express my disappointment with this... simply because the deactivation of it has come from no happenings whatsoever. Just a not of paranoid tremblayans. All I really have to say is that if I've "gone of the deep end" because I think there should be a few people in charge of the inviting... then I don't even know what this is.
There have been no troll posts whatsoever... no reason to even suspect that the hidden users are trolls. I could understand if there was a reason to deactivate it... but in my eyes, paranoia is not a reason. I shall be riding out the hidden feature until whenever it is kicked this week. I think most people have realized that usually when there's two hidden, I'm one of them. I don't know who the other person is that is opting to be hidden... but he doesn't seem to be causing any trouble.
That's all from me.
David
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Hey Stud. I agree, I didn't really have a problem with the hidden feature since this site is so well moderated (yay Phillip!). That being said, I kinda like being able to see who else is on the board or on the same thread with me. Were you afraid someone would try to talk to you directly if they saw you were there when you didn't want to be posting?
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Actually, I was just tired of people saying to me: "I thought you were taking a break, I thought you were taking a break, why are you still here, I thought you were taking a break, you keep coming here, I thought you were taking a break."
Yeah, I've been lurking from time to time the past several days... but I haven't been posting as much... the hidden feature just allowed me to lurk freely without people knowing that I was here. I actually liked it a lot and I felt free to lurk a lot more than I did before I found out how to do it.
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I'm not sure anybody was exactly complaining about the hidden people, just expressing some range from curiosity to concern. StudDuck isn't the only one who has used the hidden feature. Don't worry, be happy. Let's enjoy Shangri-la.
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Hey Stud,
I thought you were taking a break. I thought you weren't coming here. ??? ;D
Come out, come out little hidden one. We'll find ya like an Easter egg and toss ya in our basket!
Ugh. No more latte for me... :P
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I'm with surf on this. I think removing an option that is well used on other boards of this type is a bit overboard.
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I feel very strongly that we have no business coming here on Phillips board and then start insisting on changes to suit ourselves as if we were the only posters here. This is NOT right. Everyone here should have the option of using any and all features available on this board. But Not to dictate what others will use.
When you see hidden at the top of the screen you KNOW it's a registered member who for his own PERSONAL reasons chooses to lurk. Learn to accept this feature and get use to it. That's my suggestion for everyone.
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I totally agree, Vic!
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I admit that I was one of the people who just today wrote and asked Phillip about the hidden feature. I was curious about it, and I freely admit that I was worried a little about it.
I was freaked out! Plain and simple. I think most of us are kind of "burned" by what happened last week--and in the past few weeks--at the old stompin grounds. Before, we never knew how many people were lurking, and most of the time we sure as hell didn't think it was any trolls, cause they'da been right out in the open in the good ol' days....
Now, because of the trouble with people like iluvbbm/"Michelle," and because here we can SEE that there might be lurkers, we are seriously paranoid about them, when in truth we ARE a lot safer here than we ever were before.
Even though it's great to be here, we are seeing in the past day or so the effects of last week. We were in survival mode and were united against the common enemy last week, and now that we have the space to fall apart a little, there's bound to be a few waves to rock our boat. We've been through our own version of an earthquake in cyberland. Tempers and fears flare up in crisis or post-crisis. We all might need to sit back and take more of a "me-week" like Studly is trying to do, if he could lurk in peace.
So, now that I understand the "hidden" feature more, and have been reassured from reading people's reasons to use it, I agree with Victoria, Del, Studly, Surf, and everyone who is in support of NOT turning it off but allowing it to be used. I trust Phillip to know what is going on with anything here. I think we can handle that some of us would like to stay abreast of what is going on here without being pressured to play the game or contribute a post, or respond to PMs. No one has said anything to ME if I am just cruising and not sayin' much, but then again, I'm not the studly wonder that David is!!
By the way, if you can't tell, David, we love you more than all the whiskey and elk meat in the world, and we sure would hate to see you go! I also agree with you about the political thing re: wiretapping and how we are being asked to sacrifice freedom for security. I would rather have the freedom to lurk and trust that our Administrator is finally one we can trust to keep us safe from any major harm.
I don't want Phillip to feel like he needs to do anything more for us than he has already done, so I would vote to let things just stay the way they have always been. We are just getting all our kinks out from the move, from the hectic and rather sad circumstances in which we had to leave our old home. Please forgive us for our jumpiness Phillip. We're alll like horses with a low startle point right now and need a good ride or two from Jack!!!
(Did I just say that? Yep!)
;)
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Jenny makes a good point that I think needs to be emphasised for everyone here. NO ONE is hidden from Phil. He can see the name and IP address of everyone logged on to the system no matter what their settings. And he is a vigilent webmaster. We are in good hands here folks.
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Totally agree with Vic - friend, you are the voice of reason. We shouldn't impose out fears on everyone else, not to mention that the measure requested is a bit paranoid.
Phillip, you are incredibly nice and accomodating, and I am forever grateful to you for opening your "home" to us. Please don't give in to the request of removing the "hidden" feature. I have no intention of using it, but I find the principle of the whole thing wrong.
Surf, I'm with you.
Moni
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OK, so I realized that I thanked Phillip for doing this before I really thought about it. I just thought "wow, he got requests and is now accomodating them. That's so nice!" I had wondered about the point of the hidden feature and didn't understand why anyone would want to use it. After reading Studly's thread I now see the point. Phillip, I love you for letting us use your space and I love the way you have it now. I think you must have made the hidden feature for a reason. I don't see this as being a problem with trolls. We will not have threads getting automatically deleted here. We have an actual person who reviews the situation first. The only problem I have with the hidden feature is that I think it's fun to see who is reading the same thread as me. (Oh look, Elle is reading this funny post with me, or whatever.) I think it gives more of a feeling of closeness. But maybe that's just me....
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I'll keep reading your views and decide on this tomorrow based on what I see from you guys.
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I don't like the hidden feature and haven't heard a good reason (for me) to have it.
David StudDuck, you posted a great big, "I won't be around for a week, I really am going to take a break, you won't be seeing me, I'll be off away doing my own thing, so you won't see me, i won't be here, don't look for me because I won't be around" sort of a post. So if people are expressing surprise that you are here and posting, that seems reasonable on their part. Just a consequence of your post, I'd say. And that they care about you.
I do have confidence in our administrator Phillip's discernment. But I like seeing who's in the same room with me. Seems to me, when you don't want to be seen, don't come around. Then when you're ready, come back. If you don't want to answer your PMs, don't. If you don't want to read your PMs, don't.
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Clarissa, I see your point and I agree with it.
I know you don't think that because the "ignore" feature means nothing to us, it shouldn't mean anything to anyone. I know that just because we like to see who's reading the same thread we read, it doesn't mean everybody should be obligated to be visible to please us.
Yes?
I see the "ignore" featue as a mean for privacy, a thing some people care about more than others, I guess.
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Hi Friends,
I appreciate that people are concerned about intruding on Phil's design and running of this site, but I don't think we need to worry about Phil being personally invested in the 'hidden' feature. He posted the following when this first came up on March 31st.
Hi... I actually don't think I ever saw something like that before. The only thing I think it *could* be is if someone has clicked off the box Show others your online status? which turned on by default under Profiles. You guys can experiment with that and see if that is it. I only run the forum and I don't even know what everything does. ;D
Let me know if that's what it is.
My personal preference is for transparency. I remember how plesantly surprised I was, when I first saw that who's in a thread is listed here. It was like walking into a room and seeing old friends, and new people to get to know. And like any gathering, not everybody's going to be talking, some people are going to be just listening. I've done that a lot and have never felt pressured about it.
However, I understand the points people who like the hidden feature have made. Either way it works out, for me personally, it's finally a case of let be, let be.
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Clarissa, I see your point and I agree with it.
I know you don't think that because the "ignore" feature means nothing to us, it shouldn't mean anything to anyone. I know that just because we like to see who's reading the same thread we read, it doesn't mean everybody should be obligated to be visible to please us.
Yes?
I see the "ignore" featue as a mean for privacy, a thing some people care about more than others, I guess.
Hi Moni, I'm not sure if you misunderstood me, or if I'm misunderstanding you. I think you are thinking I said the opposite of what I said, which is - I don't like the "hidden" feature. I hope we won't use it. (Though if it stays, I'll live with it.) And I don't understand about coming here looking for privacy. While you want privacy, a forum with 194 members is not the place to be, seems to me.
I'm not sure how my tone is coming across in writing - just want you all to know, I'm just expressing my opinion in a plain-spoken way. Not upset. In fact happy to hear all preferences.
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I agree with Studly, Victoria, Del, and Jenny. While I personally like being open and friendly here, and seeing who's up and about with me (hey, insomniacs like company!) I also understand the pleasures of lurking. I know when I came to the Brokeback board lo those many months ago, I lurked for a good long while to get comfortable. It wasn't malicious, or disingenuous. Mainly, it was just plain shyness. I felt stupid because I didn't feel like I had a lot of interesting things to contribute.
Others of a more extroverted personality may think this is bewildering, but I think a number of people on this board are shy. Let them be, until they're comfy enough around us to come out. As all Tremblayans know, to be 'outed' involuntarily ain't nice. I really like the idea of letting people make their move in their own good time.
Plus, the Tremblayans are a pretty tight-knit group. We might seem a bit intimidating to newbies. Let's let the hidden feature stand, and our fearless and unflappable leader Phillip can make sure nobody's being naughty.
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Plus, the Tremblayans are a pretty tight-knit group. We might seem a bit intimidating to newbies. Let's let the hidden feature stand, and our fearless and unflappable leader Phillip can make sure nobody's being naughty.
I'm for keeping the hidden option for shy people. I'm in favor of transparency but not everyone is comfortable about that.
Someone earlier posted something about the U.S.'s current paranoia sneaking into our forum. Personally I don't mind if the government listens to my conversations. As long as they don't get judgmental about it and I can listen to theirs. I'm guessing that they've got a lot more to hide than anyone they're bugging... That was so off topic. Our government's been on my mind lately.
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Our government's been on my mind lately.
Welcome to my world, K. :-\
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I have no problem with the hidden feature because if someone turns out to be a troll, I know you guys will boot him/her from the board immediately.
What I don't understand though, is why any of us would want to be hidden when viewing the board? That is rather strange to me.
And saying "because I just wanted to lurk and not post" makes no sense to me too. Most of the time I am on this board, I do not post. Simply because I really like reading what you guys have to say but I don't have much to add myself. I am not an extrovert and very shy, but I do not understand why someone would want to remain hidden, especially if you're a long time member of Chez Tremblay.
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Hey, as long as Phillip is screening the people who are registering on BetterMost and can see who is hidden, then we have no reason to fear the hidden lurkers.
Personally, I think it is odd that anyone would want to be invisable to the people that invited you here. Its not like there is "instant messaging" where you can get pounced on by people when you sign on. And what difference does it make how much or how little a person is signed in?
I don't care if the "Hidden" feature stays or goes. As long as Phillip keeps the trolls away, I'm happy.
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I've just now noticed the hidden person for the first time and it kinda creeps me out.