It’s become a term of affection among, for lack of a better word, the sisterhood.
A man can be a “prick,” “dick” or “asshole,” none of which is considered unspeakably bad. Not so for a woman. We reserve our worst for other words, those that begin with “c” and “t” and conflate an ugly image of female genitalia with the behavior and/or attitudes of women. That’s why they are so offensive. They reduce women to the purely bodily and declare that a woman’s body is inherently offensive at the same time.
“Bitch” comes from a different tradition of insult, in which a person is compared to an animal — in this case, a highly sexualized one — and so stripped of some of his or her humanity. Think “cur,” which has an air of old-fashioned quaintness about it. “Bitch” doesn’t have any overtones of a lost, imperial past.
Outside of dog-breeding circles, the meaning of the word has evolved. Tell a man that he is “someone’s bitch,” and you’ve emasculated him. You’ve reduced him to the level of a woman, which, if the slur is used effectively, is the core of the insult.
Any woman who is labeled a bitch is, on the other hand, someone who won’t give what’s asked of her. She has broken the social contract that demands women be pliable and accommodating.
Are they trying to offend, or are they attempting, in a ham-handed way, to appeal to young women who want to see themselves as rule-breakers? Because I’m not sure that retaining the initial letter and only gesturing to the rest of the word is any less offensive than just saying it. If network standards-and-practices departments allow dialogue to contain the word, then just go ahead and use it in the title. On the other hand, if “bitch” is too incendiary to appear in a show’s title, it shouldn’t be allowed so liberally once the action starts.
We are already familiar with the double use of words once reserved for bigots and misogynists. Marginalized subcultures often reclaim words that have been used to hurt them. But the process is awkward. They speak to a history of relations — whether they be racial, sexual or gender — that have been complicated, at best, and brutally unjust, at worst. Examples aren’t hard to find. While some people are seen as allowed to use the “n-word,” our general discomfort with it isn’t surprising in a country where young black men are in danger just walking down the street. The same process has been seen in the gay community, which has embraced “queer.” (Remember “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” which didn’t have to tiptoe around a formerly offensive word, because it had been so widely accepted.) “Fag,” on the other hand, inhabits that stranger space, in which context is everything: Spat out by a homophobe, it’s hate speech. Used by one gay man to refer to another, it can be an affectionate form of in-speak.
If TV executives, their nervous eyes trained on Nielsen ratings and the bottom line, can’t figure out our attitudes about how we think and talk about women, then neither can we.
I used to breed dogs in the 70's and have always called female dogs "bitches"
Recently I was chastised by a new breeder when I said that she had a "beautiful bitch".
She said that they used the word female, now.
Seems that even a bitch isn't a bitch anymore. :-\ :laugh: :laugh:
Let me offer another angle. Calling a man a "bitch" is emasculating, but not because it reduces a man to the level of a woman, but rather his masculinity is so damaged that he "becomes" a woman. The opposite insult would be calling a woman "butch," "bull-dyke," or saying "she's got a dick." Those insults are intended to strip away her femininity, therefore she "becomes" a man. Its about gender reversal.
Seriously, I wonder how it's taken if a woman is told she's got balls. ... ???
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that a woman has a dick, but just last night on Law and Order: SVU, someone described Det. Olivia Benson as "having a hard-on" for a certain supposed criminal who turned out to have been wrongfully convicted.
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that a woman has a dick, but just last night on Law and Order: SVU, someone described Det. Olivia Benson as "having a hard-on" for a certain supposed criminal who turned out to have been wrongfully convicted.
That's another good example of dissing male anatomy.
Having balls is generally a compliment to whomever is being spoken of. Apparently having "balls" is good, having a "dick" is not. Kinda twisted.
I was watching this old black and white movie on TCM a few months ago, and this woman was holding a small dog in her arms. Something alarmed the dog and she got loose and ran out the door. The woman then shouted "My bitch! My bitch! Somebody get my bitch!"
:laugh: :laugh:
Sorry! I this has NOTHING to do with the article, but I couldn't help it! :-\
I do think that it is relavent. It is an instrument of language. English, has many places where the particular words have many meanings. Sometimes they are nouns, and sometimes adjectives. I personally use the word bitch quite often, and do not think of it as a forbidden word. I only use it when I am particlarly unfond of someone. Like.."I am now dodging bombs. I know that there are many of her fans here." One in particular but I cannot abide Madonna. I will not say here why. But it is much more than my approval or disapproval of her as a musician.
I do not ever use the N words, the C word or most of the other nasty epithets in common usage today.. Whore being one. I would never call anyone that. It is over the line. Even if a person has that bent, or is in that employ. It is just over the line. Just as the N word is.
Personally I think using mean words is less a problem than to actually do bodily harm.."sticks and stones," so to speak... It, Means you are your own person....but when I say she is a bitch...I mean the most annoying self obsorbed and hateful person I can describe... So there are limits to which even I subscribe to independant behaviors.. When you do not have regard for others...it is to be a "BITCH"
I agree with this assessment of "asshole." But I disagree about "prick" or "dick." As a matter of fact, "prick" was the more polite term used back when "dick" was considered too rude. Either way, these words have the same effect on men that the "c-word" or the "t-word" have on women in terms of the dehumanizing bodily reduction. And I'll tell you that personally, I like penises very much...starting with my own. So I still cringe when I hear those words, and being called such really pushes my buttons...unless--as has been pointed out--the speaker is using them in jest.
I should also point out that while the "c-word," the "t-word," the "p-word" and "dick" are not allowed on network TV, "prick" is.
Let me offer another angle. Calling a man a "bitch" is emasculating, but not because it reduces a man to the level of a woman, but rather his masculinity is so damaged that he "becomes" a woman.
Let me offer another angle. Calling a man a "bitch" is emasculating, but not because it reduces a man to the level of a woman, but rather his masculinity is so damaged that he "becomes" a woman.
The opposite insult would be calling a woman "butch," "bull-dyke," or saying "she's got a dick." Those insults are intended to strip away her femininity, therefore she "becomes" a man. Its about gender reversal.
I don't think "dick" or "prick" are the equivalent of the c-word. Who in the real world have you ever heard refer to it as the "d-word"? That word is tossed around casually by men and women, boys and girls, sometimes attached to "head." Whereas "cunt" is pulled out by only the rudest people in only the most extreme situations.
No, the equivalent of "dick" is "pussy," which is used pretty casually. Though neither, interestingly, is often applied to a woman. Nor is "asshole," for that matter.
I don't think "dick" or "prick" are the equivalent of the c-word. Who in the real world have you ever heard refer to it as the "d-word"? That word is tossed around casually by men and women, boys and girls, sometimes attached to "head." Whereas "cunt" is pulled out by only the rudest people in only the most extreme situations.
According to the website Rap Genius, which records and explains rap lyrics, there are 8,222 rap songs with the word "bitch" in them, including over 100 with the word right in the title. Titles -- and these include songs by the biggest names in rap -- include "Shut Up Bitch Swallow," "Bitches Ain't Shit," "Fuck My Bitch," "Bitch Suck Dick," "Bitches on My Dick," "Break that Bitch," and "Violate that Bitch." Also, "Sophisticated Bitch" and "Bitches in Paris" and "Please Respect the Bitch" (good start, yo). And the romantic ballad "I Love My Bitch."
Of course, "bitch" is better than "ho."
Bitch-related rap anecdote: A rumor went around for a couple of days recently that Jay-Z had publicly sworn off using the word "bitch" since his daughter was born. It turned out to be fake, which Jay-Z casually confirmed when asked about it on TV. Nope, he had no plans to change his use of an offensive slur. However, a month or two earlier, a feud cropped up between Jay-Z and Lil Wayne, partly based on Lil Wayne recording a song in which the phrase "your bitch" implicitly referred to Beyonce. In Jay-Z's mind, apparently, it's fine to use "bitch" with abandon when applied to women in general, but it's a huge insult when applied to one's wife.
I used to think reclaiming slurs was a reasonable idea, but I've come to find the process so fraught with pitfalls that maybe it's better to just not do it.
The cultural hold-out from that social contract is that any word that insults women is by default more heinous than any word that insults men. Chivalry isn't quite dead yet.
Perhaps it depends on the slur, but I was never happy or comfortable with reclaiming "queer." And, curiously, the only people I ever met personally, face-to-face, who had no problem using that word, were invariably at least a decade younger than me, if not more.
(OT and BTW, welcome back, Katharine. I've been missing you.)
Yeah, I've always wondered about whether offensiveness lingers regarding the q-word, considering it's in the title of a TV show and the name of a field of academic studies.
Though I'll have to say I'm not really fond of using "balls" to mean courage. That's insulting to women, as well.
Though I'll have to say I'm not really fond of using "balls" to mean courage. That's insulting to women
??? Um, see my post above re examples of use of the word "bitch" by millionaire rappers whose music sells millions of copies to millions of people, who win Grammys and star in movies and get profiled in the New York Times and the New Yorker and are basically the toast of modern pop culture.
Or perhaps you can point me to 8,222 similarly offensive uses of the word "dick" in songs by women, including more than 100 with the word in the title itself?
As for the c-word, I believe you're incorrect about its heinous status being due to chivalry. I think it's heinous because it is sort of on par with the "n-word" (when used by white people) or the "f-word": the ultimate offensive slur used against a historically oppressed population. There is no equivalently heinous word for men (dick) or white people (honky) or straight people (breeder) because those groups, collectively, have been historically privileged.
I think you're missing my point. Rappers, etc. use all the curse words they can on purpose. Its part of their "schtick." I'm talking about plain-old everyday discourse.
I don't think most people who find the c-word or n-word heinous speech are thinking "that person shouldn't be using such offensive language against these poor, oppressed people."
He seemed to take great pleasure in calling me a bitch. I let it go. Consider the source.
Oh, sorry. I thought when you said "culture" you meant culture. But you mean everyday discourse, as in what I hear people say in person? Even then I'd say "dick" and "bitch" are at least equally common.
The point is, slurs used to insult those groups carry more power to hurt and offend than slurs used against dominant groups. As a member of two out of of those three dominant groups, I can attest that I'm not particularly stung by "honky" or "breeder," nor have I known any other members of those groups who were. They're more like, "Yeah, OK, fair is fair, there should be some insulting term for the other side." But in practice, they just aren't as insulting.
"Dick" might not seem as horrible as the "c-word" by society at large, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have the same impact on individual men as the "c-word" has on individual women. Moreover, if using "bitch," the "c-word," etc. is demeaning to all women, the same goes for "prick," "dick," etc. for all men.
So the next time I'm at my favorite bar up here in rural Pennsylvania (which won't be until next month), I can call a 300 lb. biker "cracker" to his face, and he'll just laugh it off?? I don't think so. I think I'd be picking my black ass up off the floor.
Here's why I would dispute that: I hear individual men call other men "dick" all the time. I can't even remember when I last heard a woman call another woman the "c-word." Can't say it's never happened, but it's not a common occurrence.
Sorry, I know it's nice to feel just as victimized as the people in the opposite camp, but it doesn't always work that way. I'll grant you supposed "victim" status in regard to race and sexual orientation, but you'll have to give the same to me when it come to gender.
But I will tell you that few white people feel stung by "cracker." And on the small chance they did, I would absolutely guarantee you that they are working class or poor. Whereas class does not determine a black person's reaction to being called a racist slur by a white person. So in essence, "cracker" is a slur against class, not race.
That is different from making a truly racist remark, such as the one that African Americans are so injured by.
Non-white people use "cracker" or "redneck" as a slur for whites. That is racist. There is no difference between me sitting in a barbershop in the hood complaining about "crackers" with other black men, and a bunch of white men sitting in a barbershop complaining about "niggers." No difference at all.
I disagree. Not as long as the white men in their barbershop have a much better chance of having jobs, wealth, security, etc., than the guys in the black barbershop. (Admittedly, the specific white guys in some certain specific barber shop may not. But white guys in general? Sure.) As long as there is a cultural power imbalance, the slurs do not carry equal sting, because the two sides do not have equal power to back the slurs up with violence and/or financial protection.
Let's take another comparison. If I'm a heterosexual walking past a gay bar late at night, and I hear someone yell out, "Breeder!" (not necessarily a likely scenario, but bear with me), how intimidated am I going to feel? Maybe somewhat, I guess. But will I really feel no less intimidated than a gay person would walking past a non-gay bar late at night and hearing someone yell out the f-word?
Or maybe you're saying the two scenarios are equivalent in a morality kind of way. In that case, I still disagree.
I say its racism in both barbershops because each group of men is expressing malice towards members of the other race because of the others' race. The power imbalance does nothing to make the words of the black men not racist.
As for the "sting" factor, that is going to vary from person to person. You might not be terribly offended by being called a "cracker," but another white person would.
I ran headlong into this back in 1986 when I was working in Bermuda. A few months into the run of the show I was doing down there, a talk-show host did a series of interviews with a handful of members of my cast. I was one of them. The host was a young, attractive black woman, and most of the employees at the radio station were also black. While she and I were in the studio prepping for the interview, I noticed a very handsome, young white man in the booth working with the black sound engineer. They were laughing about something, but I could not hear them through the glass. I asked the host, "So who's whitey?" Immediately, the white guy's head snapped in my direction, and as our eyes met, his whole face and body sort of slumped. Then he left the booth. Even though we weren't on air yet, the microphone in the studio was on, and I didn't know it. The host told me that the guy was an intern from the college.
My point is that I clearly offended that young white man. And all it took was "whitey," which as negatively-charged words goes, carries only about 1 electron as far as society is concerned. But for that young man it was enough.
Sure, if you take the two situations out of all other real-life contexts, the words are equivalently offensive. But when you add three real-life factors -- that black people are in the minority, that as a group they hold less power, and that historically they've been severely oppressed by people who openly used those very slurs against them (whereas a black man using slurs against a white person would be taking an enormous risk) -- they acquire different weights.
Non-white people use "cracker" or "redneck" as a slur for whites. That is racist. There is no difference between me sitting in a barbershop in the hood complaining about "crackers" with other black men, and a bunch of white men sitting in a barbershop complaining about "niggers." No difference at all.
So A is less offensive than B. Fine. But both A and B are still offensive (in this case racist). Different people will be offended by both A and B to varying degrees. To bring this back to the original topic, "dick" is less offensive than the "c-word," yet both are offensive, and different men and women will have varying reactions to them.
P.S. Oh, BTW, Bermuda is indeed only about 1/3 white. But keep in mind that they are still one of the last British Crown Colonies. That means that England is actually in charge. So my handsome, young, white victim was part of the power class. In the situation, maybe not. But in general, certainly. And black Bermudians were all to happy to remind me not to be fooled by all the black faces I saw. They knew who called the shots.
Agreed here, too. But that's little comfort to your "whitey."
I know. It was one of those moments where you just look in the mirror and say "idiot."
Most of our insults are gender based and sexual and mostly geared toward being someone on the receiving end of being fucked (hence women and men who like being penetrated). So you can see who dominates the insult development.
Hence, why asshole, pussy, 'being someone's bitch', c--t and whore are worse insults than being a prick, dick or ball-breaking bitch.
Excellent point. It even gets as basic as "fuck you" and "go fuck yourself." The imply that being fucked is bad, whereas presumably fucking someone else would be OK.
Exactly.
And being told to 'stick that up your ass", "Up yours".
Hence all such words, are ultimately basically homophobic in derivation... not wishing to be penetrated, at all! Therefor, can I then
make the logiical conclusion, they are saying in essence, stay celebate? :-\
Why so? I don't necessarily remember hearing that fucking is to be non-consentual... Most of the time, fortunately, I believe it is consentual.. It is a noun, not an adjective.
Most of my customers are rednecks and f**k is used alot.....verb, adjective, adverb, noun, etc. Without that word
some of them would be almost voiceless.
At work, I'm the old bitch...yes, I am old and I have my moments but my customers do respect me.
They know not to f**k with the old bitch. :laugh: :laugh:
I think, in many areas, the word 'bitch' has not so much been 'reclaimed' as been overused and thus its impact lessened. My close friends and I were calling each other bitches jokingly years before it became popular to do so. We noted that outside our very tight group, other women were offended when we called them that. In the years since, it's come to have a myriad of meanings, but mostly I only use it in the context of referring to a mean person - male or female.
In all honesty, I can't claim to be one of the forum members who doesn't curse much, though I'm careful about the setting. When I'm volunteering in the kitchen of our local Senior Center, no one has yet heard me say that "this f**king dough won't rise." ;)
And my father, bless him, contributed to setting a good example for me. I noticed that he started saying "Shit!" when something exasperated him only after he had heard me saying it. So I guess I was a bad influence on my old man! :laugh:
When I first heard swear words, I thought they were something only kids said and that adults hadn't heard of them.
the culture has been increasingly vulgarized decade after decade, words are used in public now that no one in "polite society" would have used 50 years ago. I guess that is progress, at least we are less inhibited about some things.
but then......... there is also political correctness balancing that out with new inhibitions and restrictions. the more things change the more they stay the same.
the culture has been increasingly vulgarized decade after decade, words are used in public now that no one in "polite society" would have used 50 years ago. I guess that is progress, at least we are less inhibited about some things.
but then......... there is also political correctness balancing that out with new inhibitions and restrictions. the more things change the more they stay the same.