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The following Christmas carols were written by government officials. Can you guess the original titles? (answers are at the bottom of the page...don't peek!)
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1. Move Hither The Entire Assembly Of Those Who Are Loyal In Their Belief
2. Embellish Interior Passageways
3. Vertically Challenged Adolescent Percussionist
4. First Person Singular Experiencing An Hallucinatory Phenomenon Of A Natal Celebration Devoid Of Color
5. Soundless Nocturnal Period
6. Majestic Triplet Referred To In The First Person Plural
7. The Yuletide Occurance Preceding All Others
8. Precious Metal Musical Devices
9. Omnipotent Supreme Being Elicit Respite To Ecstatic Distinguished Males
10. Caribou With Vermillion Olfactory Appendage
11. Allow Crystalline Formations To Descend
12. Jovial Yuletide Desired For The Second Person Singular Or Plural By The First Person Plural
13. Commence Auditory Reception The Announcing Cherubs Vocalize
14. Kris Kringle Will Be Arriving In The City In The Not Too Distant Future
15. Bipedal Traveling Through An Amazing Acreage During The Period Between December 21st And March 21st In The Northern Hemisphere
16. Its Arrival Occurred At Twelve O'Clock During A Clement Nocturnal Period
17. Exclamatory Remark Concerning A Diminutive Municipality In Judea Southwest Of Jerusalem
Answers
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Answers: 1. O Come All Ye Faithful, 2. Deck The Halls, 3. The Little Drummer Boy, 4. I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas, 5. Silent Night, 6. We Three Kings, 7. The First Noel, 8. Silver Bells, 9. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, 10. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, 11. Let It Snow, 12. We Wish You A Merry Christmas, 13. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, 14. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, 15. Walking In A Winter Wonderland, 16. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, 17. O Little Town Of Bethlehem
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HAHA! Thanks, Dot, for the festive intellectual challenge! :laugh:
I couldn't figure out 15 and 16, so the government won on those. ;D
This is a great idea for our Holiday Forum. I hope others have some fun things to add. Love your pretty graphics, too. 8)
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Dot, these are great! OK, I've got one:
18. Extremely cold one, made out of a crystalline precipitation.
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Next holiday song puzzle up >>>
19. Both parents were involved in this Xmas scene? ???
=aside= Dottie
Nice holiday game You did here and
good "A" that You posted at ABCz!!
And thank You for your nifty pmail.
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I think I've got the answers, Paul and Dre! Highlight to read:
18. Frosty the Snowman
19. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
;D
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Merry Meryl!! You got it on #19 with "I Saw Mommy Kissin Santa Claus" (Santa aka Daddy). A very good solve by You!! :)
PS Yellow color is kool showin the answer when You highlight over the yellow to reveal words!! More fun!! :D
Next up holiday song puzzle >>>
#20. A way to travel during the holidays. ???
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I think I've got the answers, Paul and Dre! Highlight to read:
18. Frosty the Snowman
19. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
;D
Meryl, that yellow is WAY TOO bright! I cannot read it!
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Meryl, that yellow is WAY TOO bright! I cannot read it!
That's the point, Natali. ;) I didn't want people to be able to easily read my answers in case they still wanted to make a guess.
You can see the answer by left clicking and running the cursor over the text. 8)
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I am so glad you folks are enjoying this! Here's another game for you so.......Test your knowledge!
Christmas Trivia Test ~ Novice Level
1. Know your reindeer
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Which of these names does NOT belong to one of Santa’s reindeer?
A) Comet
B) Prancer
C) Blitzen
D) Klaxon
2. Planting kisses under kissing plant
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At Christmas, it is traditional to exchange kisses beneath a sprig of which plant?
A) Ivy
B) Yew
C) Holly
D) Mistletoe
3. A web not for browsing
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In the Ukraine, what does it mean if you find a spider web in the house on Christmas morning?
A) Good luck
B) Misfortune will strike in the coming year
C) The winter will be unusually cold
D) Your house needs cleaning!
4. The prize is in the pudding
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In many households, part of the fun of eating Christmas pudding is finding a trinket that predicts your fortune for the coming year. For instance, finding a coin means you will become wealthy. What will you be if you find a button?
A) Poor
B) Famous
C) A bachelor
D) Called away on a trip
5. That’s frumenty for you
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If you were given some frumenty at a Medieval Christmas party, what would you probably do with it?
A) Eat it
B) Burn it
C) Put it in your sweetheart’s hair
D) Use it to polish your boots
6. Second verse
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Many of us are quite familiar with the first verses of the traditional Christmas carols, but how well do you know the rest of the lyrics? For instance, what is the first line of the second verse of Angels from the Realms of Glory?
A)“Christ by highest heav’n adorèd”
B) “Shepherds in the fields abiding”
C) “Shepherds why this jubilee?”
D) “Don we now our gay apparel”
7. No name for a king
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Which of the following names does NOT belong one of the Three Kings?
A) Caspar
B) Balthazar
C) Teleost
D) Melchior
8. Ho-ho-ho, Watson
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One of the adventures of Sherlock Holmes takes place during the Christmas season. Which of these does the tale hinge upon?
A) A burglar disguised as Father Christmas
B) A blue diamond found in a goose ü
C) A cat trapped in an organ pipe
D) A poisoned flask of Napoleon brandy
9. Man of letters
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Which well-known author of fantasy fiction also created a book called The Father Christmas Letters?
A) Lewis Carroll
B) J.R.R. Tolkien
C) E. Nesbit
D) C.S. Lewis
10. Who crafted that carol?
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One of the most loved Christmas books is A Christmas Carol. Who wrote it?
A) Mark Twain
B) Charles Dickens
C) Hans Christian Andersen
D) Thomas M. Sawyer
Answers
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Answers:
1 D A klaxon is actually a powerful electric horn. Its name comes from a German word meaning "shriek".2 D In ancient Scandinavia, mistletoe was associated with peace and friendship. That may account for the custom of "kissing beneath the mistletoe".3 A There once lived a woman so poor, says a Ukrainian folk tale, that she could not afford Christmas decorations for her family. One Christmas morning, she awoke to find that spiders had trimmed her children’s tree with their webs. When the morning sun shone on them, the webs turned to silver and gold. An artificial spider and web are often included in the decorations on Ukrainian Christmas trees.
4 C A ring means you will get married; while a thimble predicts spinsterhood. The idea of hiding something in the pudding comes from the tradition in the Middle Ages of hiding a bean in a cake that was served on Twelfth Night. Whoever found the bean became "king" for the rest of the night
5 A Frumenty was a spiced porridge, enjoyed by both rich and poor. It was a forerunner of modern Christmas puddings. It is linked in legend to the Celtic god Dagda, who stirred a porridge made up of all the good things of the earth.
6. B The other suggested lines come from (a) Hark, the Herald Angels Sing, (c) Angels We Have Heard On High and (d) Deck the Halls. The words to Angels from the Realms of Glory were written by Scottish journalist and poet James Montgomery (1771-1854). Montgomery was a supporter of parliamentary reform and a prolific writer. About 100 of his hymns are still in use.
7 C The names of the wise men, with their places of origin, their stations in life, and even their number, come from legend and story, not from strictly religious tradition. One historical source gives them the Persian names Hormizdah, Yazdegerd and Perozadh. A teleost, on the other hand, is actually a fish. The word refers to any member of the large group that includes eel, salmon and plaice.
8 B In "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle" Holmes manages to recover the jewel but, in the spirit of the Christmas season, allows the repentant thief to go free — on the condition that he leave England for ever.
9 B The Father Christmas Letters consists of letters written to the Tolkien children by Father Christmas. It was published in 1976. The illustrated letters describe adventures and events at the North Pole.
10 B A Christmas Carol tells the story of one harrowing Christmas Eve in the life of a miser named Ebenezer Scrooge. The book was an instant hit, and Dickens wrote a new Christmas story each year from then on.
Master and Expert editions will be posted in the coming days…Enjoy ;D
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I think I've got the answers, Paul and Dre! Highlight to read:
18. Frosty the Snowman
19. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
;D
Clever, Meryl. You're right!
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Christmas Trivia Test ~ Master Level
1. How to build a goat
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In Sweden, a common Christmas decoration is the Julbukk, a small figurine of a goat. Of what material is it usually made?
A) Candy
B) Straw
C) Uranium
D) Fir wood
2. Feeding the wren
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What is the Irish custom of "feeding the wren" or "hunting the wren" on December 26?
A)Taking one’s in-laws out to dinner
B) Carrying a wren door to door, to collect money for charity
C) Leaving a basket of cakes at the door for passers-by
D) Putting out suet and seeds for the wild birds
3. The Nutcracker’s enemy
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In Tchaikovsky’s ballet "The Nutcracker", who is the nutcracker’s main enemy?
A) A girl called Clara
B) The King of the Mice
C) Dr. Almond
D) Drosselmeyer the magician
4. The which of endor
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At lavish Christmas feasts in the Middle Ages, swans and peacocks were sometimes served "endored". What does that mean?
A) The feet and beaks were coated with gold
B) The guests knelt in adoration as the birds were brought in
C) The birds had been raised on grain soaked in brandy
D) The flesh was painted with saffron dissolved in melted butter
5. Christmas shear
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All through the Christmas season in old England, "lambswool" could be found in the houses of the well-to-do. What was it?
A) Imitation snow used in decorations
B) A brew of hot ale with roast apples floating in it
C) The material used for knitting Christmas gifts
D) A fluffy confection made from almonds and sugar
6. Snip, snap, dragon!
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The ancient game of Snapdragon has been part of English Christmases for over 300 years. Players are egged on by a chant, part of which goes, "Take care you don’t take too much, Be not greedy in your clutch, Snip, snap, dragon!" What is "the dragon" in this game?
A) A costumed child
B) Flames of burning brandy
C) The oldest male in the room
D) A “snapper” made from fireplace tongs
7. A well-run gaggle?
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In Victorian times, most Londoners would have been familiar with the "goose club". What was it?
A) A pantomime troupe specializing in slapstick
B) A stout stick used for slaughtering geese
C) A banjo-like instrument used in door-to-door caroling
D) A method of saving to buy a goose for Christmas
8. The mystery of the smoking bishop
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After Scrooge has reformed his life at the end of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, he invites Bob Cratchit to join him for some "smoking bishop". What did he mean?
A) A fast variation of chess popular in Victorian London
B) A premium pipe tobacco
C) A hot spiced drink
D) A Christmas pudding, soaked in brandy and set alight
9. Traveling turkeys
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In Victorian England, turkeys were popular for Christmas dinners. Some of the birds were raised in Norfolk, and taken to market in London. To get them to London, the turkeys:
A) Were herded by sheep dogs
B) Flew
C) Rode in huge wagons called “turkey-vans”
D) Were supplied with boots made of sacking or leather
10. Cratchit if you can
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Many movies on Christmas themes have been made for television and the cinema over the years, including dozens of versions of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Which of the following films has NOT yet been made?
A) The Jetsons’ Christmas Carol
B) Popeye’s Christmas Carol
C) Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol
D) Mickey’s Christmas Carol
Answers
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Answers[/u]
1 B Scandinavian Christmas festivities feature a variety of straw decorations in the form of stars, angels, hearts and other shapes, as well as the Julbukk.
2 B One explanation for this St. Stephen’s day custom refers to a legend in which the saint was given away by a chattering wren while hiding from his enemies. Children cage the wren to help it do penance for this misdeed. Often the children carry a long pole with a holly bush at the top — which is supposed to hide a captured wren. An artificial wren may also be used.
3 B The King of the Mice, usually represented with seven heads, leads his troops against the nutcracker’s toy soldiers. He loses the battle when Clara, the heroine, stuns him with a shoe.
4 D In addition to their painted flesh, endored birds were served wrapped in their own skin and feathers, which had been removed and set aside prior to roasting.
5 B "Lambswool" was the drink that filled the wassail bowl. Sugar, eggs and spices were added to the ale, and toast floated on top with the apples. Poor people would bring their mugs to the door hoping for a share of the steaming drink.
6 B When the room is dark, a bowl of raisins soaked in brandy is lit. Who will be brave enough to claim the prize from the fierce dragon flames?
7 D Goose clubs were popular with working-class Londoners, who paid a few pence a week towards the cost of a Christmas goose. The week before Christmas, London meat markets were crammed with geese and turkeys, many imported from Germany and France.
8 C Mulled wines were popular festive drinks in 19th-century London. They were undoubtedly much safer to drink than the untreated water. To make Smoking Bishop, take 6 bitter oranges and stick them with 6 cloves each. Put them in a bowl, cover with (cheap) red wine, and set in a warm place for a day. Squeeze the oranges into the wine and strain. Add port. Heat, and serve with a cinnamon stick.
9 D The turkeys were walked to market. The boots protected their feet from the frozen mud of the road. Boots were not used for geese: instead, their feet were protected with a covering of tar.
10 B The Internet Movie Database lists hundreds of movies with "Christmas" in the title. Amongst those you may not yet have seen: A Messy Christmas (1921), An All Dogs Christmas Carol (1998), Goat Christmas (1997) and The Bad Man’s Christmas Gift (1910).
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Christmas Trivia Test ~ Expert Level
This is the Expert Level quiz, featuring ten of the more arcane questions from the AHA! Christmas trivia collection. I hope you enjoy it. ;D
1. Imp repulsion
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In Greek legend, malicious creatures called Kallikantzaroi sometimes play troublesome pranks at Christmas time. What should you do to get rid of them?
A) Placate them with gifts of rice pudding
B) Burn either salt or an old shoe
C) Sing hymns in a loud voice
D) Throw your sandals at them
2. The merry lads of Yule
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The jólasveinar, or "yule lads", are a traditional part of an Icelandic Christmas. What are they?
A) A band of thirteen gift-giving goblins
B) In charge of Santa’s reindeer
C) Woodcutters
D) The best male singers from each village
3. Opening night
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George Frederick Handel’s great Christmas oratorio, The Messiah, was first performed in 1742. Where did the performance take place?
A) London
B) Dublin
C) Vienna
D) Jerusalem
4. Greetings and grumbles
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The first commercial Christmas card is generally agreed to have been the one shown above. The card had a hostile reception from some people. Why?
A) It depicted a family, children as well as adults, drinking wine
B) A mass-produced card was felt to violate the Christmas spirit
C) The ivy leaves bordering the design were once a pagan symbol
D) The card’s popularity raised fears of a paper shortage
5. Whence the poinsettia?
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The poinsettia is a traditional Christmas flower. Where did it originally grow?
A) Canada
B) China
C) Mexico
D) Spain
6. What’s in Caesar’s salad?
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Some people like to hide a coin or trinket in the Christmas pudding. This may have originated in the ancient custom, in Rome and elsewhere, of concealing a particular object in food. What was it?
A) A key
B) A piece of parchment with a fortune written on it
C) A ruby or sapphire
D) A dried bean
7. The merry Prangster
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What important contribution to our Christmas customs was made by Louis Prang, who came to the USA from Germany in the 19th century?
A) Printing the first special Christmas edition of a major magazine
B) Being first to use an image of Santa Claus in an advertisement
C) Publishing the first children’s book featuring Santa Claus
D) Popularizing the sending of printed Christmas cards
8. Christmas message, by George
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One fairly modern Christmas ritual is the British monarch’s broadcast to the people on Christmas day. The first was given by George V in 1932. Who wrote the king’s speech?
A) The king himself
B) Children’s author Enid Blyton
C) Rudyard Kipling
D) Sir Winston Churchill
9. Urning your keep
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The “Urn of Fate” is part of the Christmas celebrations in many Italian households. What is it?
A) A jar full of fortunes
B) A game in which players toss coins into a cup
C) An actual urn containing presents
D) A special decoration that recalls the fragility of life
10. Grandfather clause
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In Lithuania, if Kaledu Senelis, or Grandfather Christmas, appears to the children on Christmas Eve to hand out presents, the recipient must:
A) Find the gift while blindfolded
B) Guess what the gift is, or pay a forfeit
C) Kneel to receive the gift
D) Perform a song or poem before receiving the gift
Answers
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1 B The pungent burning stench drives off, or at least helps discourage, the Kallikantzaroi. Other techniques include hanging a pig’s jawbone by the door and keeping a large fire so they can’t sneak down the chimney.
2 A From December 12 until Christmas Eve, the yule lads come down one at a time from the mountains. Each has a personal trick, such as stealing milk or slamming doors. They often leave presents for good children, and sometimes a potato for the bad ones. In olden times, the yule lads — who were themselves the children of monsters — had a much darker nature. They were so feared that in 1746 a law was passed to prevent them being used to frighten children.
3 B Handel (1685-1759) seems to have been a kind and generous man. The Messiah was written to aid charities in Ireland. It was a success there from its original performance, though it was not immediately popular in England. Handel’s favorite charity in London was the Foundling Hospital. He conducted performances of The Messiah there until 1754.
4 A The card was the brainchild of Sir Henry Cole, a leading cultural light in Victorian England. He later became director of the Victoria and Albert Museum, among many other accomplishments. The card was painted by John Calcott Horsley. It shows a family feast, under which appear the words, "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to You". Side panels illustrate Christmas charity — feeding and clothing the poor.
5 C In Mexico, the poinsettia is known as the "Flower of the Holy Night". It was brought to America by the diplomat Joel Poinsett in 1829. Among other accomplishments, Poinsett also played an important part in founding the Smithsonian Institution.
6 D During the Roman Saturnalia festival, a dried bean would be hidden in the food. Whoever found it was then "master of the revels" — a king for the holidays. Even a slave could be the lucky one. In medieval times, a cake was eaten on Twelfth Night (January 6), during the most boisterous party of the year. The "King of the Bean" ruled the whole party.
7 D Prang was a Bavarian-born lithographer. He settled in Boston, Massachusetts in the 1850s and established a successful printing business. He invented a way of reproducing color oil paintings, the "chromolithograph technique", and created a card with the message "Merry Christmas" as a way of showing it off. He went on to produce a series of popular Christmas cards. By 1881 he was printing more than five million cards annually.
8 C No doubt Kipling’s fine writing contributed to the enormous success of the broadcast, which was also heard overseas. It began, "I speak now from my home and from my heart to you all..." Queen Elizabeth II continues the Christmas broadcast tradition to this day.
9 C The Urn of Fate is brought out on Christmas Eve. It holds a wrapped present for everyone. The mother tries her luck first, then the others in turn. If you get a present with your name on it, you keep it; otherwise, you put it back and try again. Italian children also put out shoes or stockings to receive presents on Epiphany (January 6). Their gift-giver, Befana, rides through the air and slips down the chimney to deliver presents.
10 D The gifts are usually given after the traditional Christmas feast of twelve meatless dishes, which itself does not begin until the first star appears. Each diner at this special meal — the Kucios — must at least sample each of the dishes
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20. A way to travel during the holidays. ???
Holiday song answer: Sleigh Ride :D
(highlight to read)
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Urban Myths of Christmas
No celebration is more intwined in urban myths, religious or secular, than is Christmas. Some Christmas "myths" turn out to be true and some "truths" turn out to by myths!
Untrue Urban Myths:
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)Jesus was born on December 25. (The idea of celebrating the birth of Christ on December 25 was first suggested early in the fourth century. This was a clever move on the part of Church fathers, who wished to eclipse the December 25 festivities of a rival pagan religion.The celebration of Christmas took permanent hold in the Western world in 337 with the Roman emperor Constantine. Christianity had become the official state religion in 313 AD. By 354, Bishop Liberius of Rome reiterated the importance of celebrating not only Christ's death but also his birth.)
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)Angels Sang at Christmas (The Bible never says that the Angels sang! Read it closely!!) The Bible tells of three wise men who travelled from afar on camels to visit the infant Jesus as he lay in the manger.(Mathew 2:1 tells us: "Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem . . . ". That is the extent of it. There is no mention of THREE wisemen and no mention of camel! Also, Matt 2:11 states "And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him . . . ". Note that it mentions a child in a house, rather than a baby in a manger... so this is a postbirth event.)
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)The modern image of Santa Claus was created by Coca-Cola(Haddon Sundblom drew his first Santa portrait for Coca-Cola in 1931... which popularized an existing image of Claus. In 1804, the New York Historical Society was founded with Nicholas as its patron saint, reviving the Dutch tradition of St. Nicholas as a bringer of gifts. In 1809, Washington Irving published his satirical A History of New York, by one "Diedrich Knickerbocker," poking fun at New York's Dutch past, St. Nicholas included... in Dutch, "Sinterklaas". Irving revised his History of New York in 1812, adding details about Nicholas' "riding over the tops of the trees, in that selfsame waggon wherein he brings his yearly presents to children." In 1821,William Gilley wrote a poem about a "Santeclaus" who dressed all in fur and drove a sleigh pulled by one reindeer. On Christmas Eve of 1822, Clement Clarke Moore, wrote down and read to his children a series of verses; his poem was published a year later as "An Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas" ...more commonly known today by its opening line, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . .")
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)Two of Santa's reindeer were named 'Donner' and 'Blitzen.' (In 1822, Clement Clarke Moore wrote down in his "An Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas" ...more commonly known today by its opening line, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name. "Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now, dash away! dash away! dash away all! " The song about Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer first made the mistake in Donder's and Blizten's names! )
The suicide rate increases significantly during the winter holiday season. (1985 Mayo Clinic report: "Fewer suicides than expected may occur on weekends and major holidays because it may be easier to repress troublesome thoughts during these times of greater social interaction." )
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)Poinsettia plants are poisonous to humans. (The poinsettia poison myth had its origin when a young child of an Army officer in Hawaii died of poisoning, incorrectly assumed to be a poinsettia leaf. A 50 lb. child would have to eat more than 1.25 lbs. or 500 - 600 leaves , according to the POISINDEX Information Service. Handbook of Poisonous and Injurious Plants lists the symptoms of eating Poinsetta as vomiting as a side effect of ingesting otherwise harmless poinsettia leaves.)
Man dressed as Santa Claus gets stuck in chimney and dies. (This story has been around for almost as long as the Santa Claus legend itself. It is a variation of the motif of juxtaposing an otherwise happy occasion with a senseless tragedy. Note Ella Fitzgerald's "Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney," Jimmy Boyd's "Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney," and Gisele MacKenzie's "Too Fat for the Chimney." )
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)The "Immaculate Conception" refers to the birth of Jesus. (The Immaculate Conception has nothing to do with either the birth of Jesus or any virgin birth. It is a specific dogma of Roman Catholicism which decrees that the Virgin Mary was preserved free from original sin by divine grace from the moment of her conception. Although this dogma had been argued since the 12th century, it was not made official Pope Pius X did so in 1854. Since then December 8 has been observed as a Roman Catholic feast in commemoration of the Immaculate Conception.)
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)Candy canes were created to symbolize Jesus, their shape representing the letter "J" and their colors standing for the purity and blood of Christ... and were started in Indiana (Candy canes were most assuredly NOT created by "a candymaker in Indiana" who "stained them with red stripes to show the stripes of the scourging Jesus received." Candy canes have been in existance long before there ever was an Indiana! They initially bore neither red coloration nor striping -- the red stripes were a feature that did not appear until a few hundred years later, at the beginning of the 20th century. More elaborate Christmas coloration and decoration have been added to these candies in recent years ... for purely marketing purposes.)
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)The song The Twelve Days of Christmas was created as a coded reference to important articles of the Christian faith. (See our Twelve Days of Christmas site for the complete low down. This 1870 English Christmas song with origins running deeper in history in France was merely a silly Children's memory game.)
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)'Xmas' is a modern, disrespectful abbreviation of the word 'Christmas'. (X is a substitute for the Greek, Chi, which was an early church representation of Christ. It has been around for a long time and had no meaning of disrespect.)
Strange but TRUE:
(http://forum.campushbg.se/images/smiles/icon_xmas.gif)Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created for Montgomery Ward department stores. (Rudolph began in 1939 when the Chicago-based Montgomery Ward company (a chain of department stores) asked one of their writers, 34-year-old Robert L. May, to come up with a Christmas story which could be given away to shoppers as a promotional gimmick. The chain had been been buying and giving away coloring books for Christmas every year. To save money, they wanted to create their own booklet. It was loosely based on the Ugly Duckling.)
(http://forum.campushbg.se/images/smiles/icon_xmas.gif)Christmas cards date to 1843. (English school children made their own and sent gave them to each other before this date. The first formal card was designed in 1843, by J.C. Horsley, in England. It was lithographed on dark cardboard. It consisted of a color print of a party of grownups and children with glasses of wine raised in a toast over the words "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you." Since it only cost 1 penny to send a card at that time, the custom caught on quickly.)
(http://forum.campushbg.se/images/smiles/icon_xmas.gif)The holiday season abounds with superstitions. (There are too many to mention! Why do we put up Christmas trees? Why do we kiss under mistletoe? Why do we "deck the halls" with green branches? Does Holly and Ivy really have healing powers? How did caroling get started? Which story is true about Green and Red? Which of the many versions of the Yule Log is correct? The list goes on!)
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Hey, Holiday Dottie, full of incredible Xmas information!!
In Santa's reindeer trivia You mention two reindeers names were changed Donner and Blitzen. At the end You say Donder (that one I get why) and Vixen. So is it Blitzen or Vixen and what was it changed from??
Dre ;) and thanks for your pmail re ABCz "W".
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Hey, Holiday Dottie, full of incredible Xmas information!!
In Santa's reindeer trivia You mention two reindeers names were changed Donner and Blitzen. At the end You say Donder (that one I get why) and Vixen. So is it Blitzen or Vixen and what was it changed from??
Dre ;) and thanks for your pmail re ABCz "W".
Hi Dre! I love Christmas and I love my neices..so I'm always gathering info to play games with them...hence all this trivia. As for the reindeer: Ooops typo on my part, the problem was with Blitzen, in the first renditions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Blitzen was sung and published as Blixen (sounds like Vixen) ::) Sorry for the confusion.
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Play Dress the Snowman
http://www.allthingschristmas.com/northpole/games/snowman/snowman.html
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Did you know: (http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/wiseman.gif)
The twelve days of Christmas are the twelve days between Christmas and Epiphany (January 6th), which is when the three wise men supposedly arrived on the scene. It is NOT the twelve days before Christmas as many erroneously believe.
The tradition of giving a gift on each of the twelve days is pretty much gone, at least as practiced in the USA. However, in some families, the tradition of giving Christmas gifts on each of those twelve days persists.
Most people know of The Twelve Days of Christmas from the song of that name.
ORIGIN OF "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS"
Below is printed a popular urban myth about "The Twelve Days of Christmas" that first hit the net in 1995 via an article from Catholic Information Network (by Fr. Hal Stockert of Fishnetsite) that later withdrew its page. However, the urban myth has spread through the net like DNA, though the original source as long withdrawn its claim to the story. (Don't feel bad. We were taken by that page, too!) However, according to A Celebration and History(ISBN 0-679-74038-4), by Leigh Grant, the written lyrics to "The Twelve Days of Christmas" first appeared in Mirth without Mischief in the early 1780s in England. Grant states that the tune to which these words are sung apparently dates back much further and came from France. Mirth without Mischief describes "The Twelve Days of Christmas" as a type of memory game played by children at that time. A leader recited the first verse, the next child recited the second verse, and so on until someone missed a verse and had to pay some kind of penalty in the game. There was no religious significance. At anyrate the popular urban myth makes a good story... at least as good as the song itself, so here is a slice of urban myth culture for you:
An Underground Catechism (**an urban myth**)
Most folks, I believe, are familiar with the Christmas song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas". If you listen to the words carefully, it seems like nonsence set to rhyme and music. However, it was written with a serious purpose.
It is more than just a list of twelve silly gifts. Catholics in England during the period 1558 to 1829 were prohibited by law to practice their faith either in public or private. It was illegal to be Catholic. [Note: Parliament finally emancipated Catholics in England in 1829.]
"The Twelve Days of Christmas" was written in England as one of the "catechism songs" to help young Catholics learn the basics of their faith. In short, it was a memory aid. Since the song sounded like rhyming nonsense, young catholics could sing the song without fear of imprisonment. The authorities would not know that it was a religious song. Actually, the catecism to which it referred was rather ecumenical so could probably be claimed to be protestant if cornered.
The song's gifts had hidden meanings to the teachings of the Catholic faith. The "true love" mentioned in the song doesn't refer to an earthly suitor, but it refers to God Himself. The "me" who receives the presents refers to every baptized person. i.e. the church. The partridge in a pear tree is Christ Jesus, the Son of God. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge in memory of the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered thee under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but thou wouldst not have it so..."
Here is a complete list of the 12 symbols with their meanings*:
1 Partridge in a pear tree = The One true God revealed in the person of Jesus Christ
2 Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity
4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch" which contain the law condemning us of our sins.
6 Geese A-laying = the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments of the Catholic faith
8 Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping = the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed
*original source of symbol meaning: an article from Catholic Information Network that we discovered in 1995 by Fr. Hal Stockert of Fishnet. We then discovered some other resources that backed-up this article, but later discovered that these all linked back to Stockert's article. In actuality, it seems that the words originated around 1780 in England and the music much earlier from France. The song was merely a child's game with no religious significance.
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Thanks for posting this Dottie. I have ALWAYS wondered what this song meant. I always thought "somebody is getting an awful lot of presents" and who would want a bunch of swans, geese, turtle doves and partridges?
It's also interesting you mentioned Jesus revealed as a partridge. I have seen him dipicted as a stork too. The Catholic church I went to as a child had a large stork etched into the front of the altar. He had his wings spread out wide, and blood dripping from his breast where his heart had been pierced. Jesus is often depicted as another animal - the lamb, but rarely a stork. I wish I could remember the story behind the stork the nuns told us in Catholic school. It was very beautiful! :D
Thanks for posting this Dottie!
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7 Sinful Santas
Wrath, sloth, greed, lust... These Kris Kringles have a ho-ho-whole lotta explaining to do ~by Michael Slezak from EW
Sloth
The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974)
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Dude literally works one day per year, gets a case of the sniffles, and thinks he's gonna call in sick? Hell to the Noel!
Envy
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
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Santa, or rather the Grinch in Santa's clothing, was literally green with envy when he stole the Whos' holiday booty in the beloved animated TV special.
Wrath
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
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He knows if you've been bad or good, and in this 1984 horror flick, Santa took an ax to folks who fell into the latter category. Thankfully, blood went well with his classic crimson suit.
Greed
Bad Santa (2003)
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Okay, so Billy Bob Thornton's title character could've been the poster child for any number of deadly sins, but using his job as a shopping-mall Santa to case the joint definitely qualifies as greedy.
Lust
The Santa Clause 2 (2002)
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We just made ourselves a little queasy associating Tim Allen's Kringle with holiday lovin', but then again, he did attempt to get his sexy on with the local principal (Lost's Elizabeth Mitchell) in the second chapter of Disney's holiday trilogy. Sorry, that was horrible; we'll never say anything like it again.
Hubris
The Spirit of Christmas (1995)
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If Merriam-Webster were up-to-speed on profanity-laden animated shorts, it would certainly illustrate the word ''hubris'' with a picture of Santa from this South Park precursor — perhaps one of him tossing Jesus over his head like a rag doll.
Gluttony
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
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Far be it from us to ridicule anyone for packing on some extra insulation during the chilly holiday season, but the St. Nick of Rankin/Bass' 1964 special was a few pounds away from eligibility on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. We totally blame that enabler, Mrs. Claus.
http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1568789_1%7C%7C249578%7C0_0_,00.html
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Urban Myths of Christmas
(http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/christmastree.gif)Candy canes were created to symbolize Jesus, their shape representing the letter "J" and their colors standing for the purity and blood of Christ... and were started in Indiana (Candy canes were most assuredly NOT created by "a candymaker in Indiana" who "stained them with red stripes to show the stripes of the scourging Jesus received." Candy canes have been in existance long before there ever was an Indiana! They initially bore neither red coloration nor striping -- the red stripes were a feature that did not appear until a few hundred years later, at the beginning of the 20th century. More elaborate Christmas coloration and decoration have been added to these candies in recent years ... for purely marketing purposes.)
Dotte, I am so disappointed in this! For generations, Hoosier children have been told candy canes were started in Indiana. It was one of our "claims to fame" and our little state doesn't have too many of those!
Well, we will always have Santa Claus, Indiana! Up until 20 years ago, many of the world's Santa Claus letters were sent to this little Indiana town for processing. These days, more and more of the Santa letters are being mailed to North Pole, Alaska; although Santa Claus still does do some processing.
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'Twas Eleven Nights Before Christmas
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'Twas 11 nights before Christmas and all through Town Bettermost
The chatters were chompin' at the bit to be startin' and
fan fiction writers were creating and impartin.
The ABC'z Playerz were nuzzled all snug in their beds
While visions of topics danced in their heads.
And Ellemeno in her kerchief, Phillip in his cap
Had just settled down for a long western nap,
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprung from my bed only to find a drunk chatter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters while some others rehashed,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
Now Phillip, Now Elle, now David and Vince
On Milli and RouxB on Mandy and Jess,
To the top of the scroll, to the top of the room,
Now dash away! Dash away all of the gloom.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little goof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Sheriff Roland came with a bound.
A bundle of boy toys he had flung on his back,
It sure beats the kicks and the server attacks.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry...
He promised to keep all the bans in him buried.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his face was PC, dontcha know.
He had a broad face, and a round little belly,
That spun all the posts like a airplane propelly.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Kicking the chatters, he's such a big jerk ( just kidding)
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Posted some porn , and up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a long range scud missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight....
"Happy Christmas to All! No Beans Tonight!"
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Hey Dot ..
That is really cute!! :D Can I have beans anyway? ;D
~M
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Hey Dot ..
That is really cute!! :D Can I have beans anyway? ;D
~M
Yup! :laugh: you stick with beans but I won't! ;)
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That was a scream, Dottie! Loved it!
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Perfectly delightful, Dottie! Thanks for the early taste of Xmas cheer.
Scott (sometime ABCz Player)
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What makes you think we ABCz playerz ever sleep?! :) "I" is insomnia...
That was great, Dottie.
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Hey, Dottie, your 11 days before Xmas about the BBM members here is kool!! It's real kool including the ABCz Playerz who probably think about words to play every day!! Your holiday thread makes it beginning to look a lot like Christmas!! Thank You!! :)
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Yea Dottie - there's sumthin wrong with this little Christmas cheer a yours - you'd never , ever, ever, ever hear me say:
"No Beans Tonight!"
I love ma beans just too much fer that!
Thought you'd 'preciate the correction - truly unacceptable portrayal a yer sheriff
Seriously I loved it too - thanks fer makin me the main character a yer show! (But I'm serious - don't nobody ever mess aroundwith ma beans!)
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The ABC'z Playerz were nuzzled all snug in their beds
While visions of topics danced in their heads.
That was excellent, Dottie.
Scott (sometime ABCz Player)
Scott, you should play more often.
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Dottie, I love it! And being immortalized in this poem is wonderful.
Thanks for all you add around here. I can't belive you have only been here a couple of months, i feel like you are an old-timer already. Hug, Elle
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Thanks for all the fun things and that great poem, dottie! You're the Mistress of Christmas! 8)
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You are very Welcome Meryl! I'm just glad everyone is enjoying them ;)
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May we look forward to more of them in the next day or two Dottie?
I'm enjoying them too although I was a little hurt when I found out candy canes didn't start in Indiana! :'(.... ;)
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May we look forward to more of them in the next day or two Dottie?
I'm enjoying them too although I was a little hurt when I found out candy canes didn't start in Indiana! :'(.... ;)
I'll keep sharing David as long as there's someone interested in what I have to share :D
My neices and I are in a contest to see who can stump whom with holiday riddles....here are some of the one's that got me. Highlight the answer line to see it (thanks for the tip Meryl)
Q: What bites and has no teeth?
A: Frost
Q: How many seconds are there in single year?
A: Only 12, January 2nd , February 2nd , March 2nd….
Q: Why do you go to bed on Christmas Eve?
A: Because the bed can’t come to you
Q: If Santa rode a motorcycle, what kind would it be?
A: A Holly Davidson
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem
Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
A: Have a furry merry Christmas and a Happy Mew Year!
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho, ho, ho.
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish
Q: What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
A: Santa Clues
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I first posted this on my thread in our Daily Thoughts but thought I'd post here to because more folks might see it. ;)
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Did you know that "Cowboy Christmas" is a loose term that describes the time that begins (unofficially) after the Reno Rodeo in Nevada and runs through the 4th of July weekend (or through most of July, depending on who you ask).
It's affectionately called Christmas Time by cowboys and cowgirls because of all the rodeos taking place (34 or so just in the holiday week!) and the tremendous amount of money to be won. It's extremely important in the quest to make it to the Wrangler NFR, because a good run during Cowboy Christmas can potentially make or break a cowboys chances to enter the top 15 at years end.
Here are just some of the rodeos happening during 'Cowboy Christmas':
• Rocky Mountain Stampede in Greeley, CO.
• Dinosaur Roundup Rodeo in Vernal, UT.
• Cody Stampede in Wyoming.
• Prescott Frontier Days in Arizona.
• Ponoka Stampede in Alberta, Canada.
And many, many more....
It's the best time to be a rodeo hand!
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Now ain't that interestin ? ;D
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same with this one :-\ if it's a repeat, sorry
Santa's(http://www.santas.net/penguin.gif) Favorites
Sayings, Superstitions and Quotes
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• "To have good health throughout the next year, eat an apple on Christmas Eve."
• "Eat plum pudding on Christmas and avoid losing a friend before next Christmas."
• "On Chrismas Eve all animals can speak. However, it is bad luck to test this superstition."
• "The child born on Christmas Day will have a special fortune."
• "Wearing new shoes on Christmas Day will bring bad luck."
• In Ireland it is believed the gates of Heaven open at midnight on Christmas Eve. Those who die then go straight to Heaven.
• If you refuse a mince pie at Christmas dinner, you will have bad luck for the coming day.
• If you eat a raw egg before eating anything else on Christmas morning, you will be able to carry heavy weights.
• "Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green."
• "Good luck will come to the home where a fire is kept burning throughout the Christmas season.
• "Place shoes by side on Christmas Eve to prevent a quarreling family."
• "A clear star-filled sky on Christmas Eve will bring good crops in the summer."
• "A blowing wind on Christmas Day brings good luck."
• In Greece, some people burn their old shoes during the Christmas season to prevent misfortunes in the coming year.
• In the Swedish countryside, from cock crow to daybreak on Christmas morning the trolls (wicked elves) roam about.
• In Devonshire, England, a girl raps at the henhouse door on Christmas Eve. If a rooster crows, she will marry within the year.
• You will have as many happy months in the coming year, as the number of houses you eat mince pies in during Christmastime.
• "Shout 'Christmas Gift' to the first person knocking on your door on Christmas Day and expect to receive a gift from the visitor.
• A three year old once gave this reaction to her Christmas dinner:
"I don't like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate."
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Dottie, I think many people here are interested in these. They're a lot of fun.
Okay. Now I'm going to go check out what you just posted. :D
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Reindeer Quips.
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What Reindeer Talk About During Their Christmas Flight...
10. "Sheesh! What's he been eating this year? ROCKS?"
9. "He shouts all our names all the time, sure, but do you really think he knows which one is which?"
8. "I never knew Donner had a tattoo THERE."
7. "Sure...HIS seat is a flotation device. What about us?"
6. "Tried those new lite oats? You really should."
5. "Man, I hope we pause on a rooftop soon. I'm beat."
4. "HEY! Watch the antlers there, buddy!"
3. "Did you hear you-know-who got a nose job?"
2. "You know, after a few hundred miles, these jingling bells really get annoying!"
And Finally...
1. "So, you want to go someplace afterward for some reindeer games?"
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Politically Correct Santa?
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And Equal Employment had made it quite clear,
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops,
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe...had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing for unauthorized use of his nose,
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion,
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological,
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word these days.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth."
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LIFE LESSONS FROM A SNOWMAN
(http://www.heathersanimations.com/Snow/snow_anm.gif)
* It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.
* Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.
* Wearing white is always appropriate.
* Winter is the best of the four seasons.
* It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.
* There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.
* The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.
* It's not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts.
* We're all made up of mostly water.
* You know you've made it when they write a song about you.
* Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!
* Avoid yellow snow. Don't get too much sun.
* It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet.
* It's fun to hang out in your front yard.
* Always put your best foot forward.
* There's no stopping you once you're on a roll.
(http://www.heathersanimations.com/Snow/snow.gif)
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Santa Stats
(http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/REINDEERE.gif)
There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)
December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.
Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.
Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.
At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.
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I understand we have quite a few medical personel as members here, you should all enjoy this one. From Kindred Jester: Patty Wooten RN
Case Report:
Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome
Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no.1, December 1997
Dr. Iman Elf, M.D.
On January 2, 1997, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, presented to my family practice office with complaints of generalized aches and pains, sore red eyes, depression, and general malaise. The patient's face was erythematic, and he was in mild respiratory distress, although his demeanor was jolly. He attributed these symptoms to being "not as young as I used to be, HO! HO! HO!", but thought he should have them checked out. The patient's occupation is delivering presents once a year, on December 25th, to many people worldwide. He flies in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, and gains access to homes via chimneys. He has performed this work for as long as he can remember. Upon examination and ascertaining Mr. C's medical history, I have discovered what I believe to be a unique and heretofore undescribed medical syndrome related to this man's occupation and lifestyle, named Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome, or ASBPDS for short.
Medical History: Mr. C. admits to drinking only once a year, and only when someone puts rum in the eggnog left for him to consume during his working hours. However, I believe his bulbous nose and erythematic face may indicate long-term ethanol abuse. He has smoked pipe tobacco for many years, although workplace regulations at the North Pole have forced him to cut back to one or two pipes per day for the last 5 years. He has had no major illnesses or surgeries in the past. He has no known allergies. Travel history is extensive, as he visits nearly every location in the world annually. He has had all his immunizations, including all available vaccines for tropical diseases. He does little exercise and eats large meals with high sugar and cholesterol levels, and a high percentage of calories derived from fat (he subsists all year on food he collects on Dec. 25, which consists mainly of eggnog, Cola drinks, and cookies).
Family history was unavailable, as the patient could not name any
relatives.
Physical Examination and Review of Systems, With Social/Occupational Correlates: The patient wears corrective lenses, and has 20/80 vision. His conjunctivae were hyperalgesic and erythematous, and Fluorescein staining revealed numerous randomly occurring corneal abrasions. This appears to be caused by dust, debris, and other particles which strike his eyes at high velocity during his flights. He has headaches nearly every day, usually starting half way through the day, and worsened by stress. He had extensive ecchymoses, abrasions, lacerations, and first-degree burns on his head, arms, legs, and back, which I believe to be caused mainly by trauma experienced during repeated chimney descents and falls from his sleigh. Collisions with birds during his flight, gunshot wounds (while flying over the Los Angles area) and bites consistent with reindeer teeth may also have contributed to these wounds. Patches of leukoderma and anesthesia on his nose, cheeks, penis, and distal digits are consistent with frostbite caused by periods of hypothermia during high-altitude flights. He had a blood pressure of 150/95, a heart rate of 90 beats/minute, and a respiratory rate of 40. He has had shortness of breath for several years, which worsens during exertion. He has no evidence of acute cardiac or pulmonary failure, but it was my opinion that he is quite unfit due to his mainly sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits which, along with his stress, smoking, and male gender, place him at high risk for coronary heart disease, myocardial infarction, emphysema and other problems. Blood tests subsequently revealed higher-than-normal CO levels, which I attribute to smoke inhalation during chimney descent into non-extinguished fireplaces. He has experienced chronic back pain for several years. A neurological examination was consistent with a mild herniation of his L4-L5 or L5-S1 disk, which probably resulted from carrying a heavy sack of toys, enduring bumpy sleigh rides, and his jarring feet-first falls to the bottom of chimneys. Mr. C. had a swollen left scrotum, which, upon biopsy, was diagnosed as scrotal cancer, the likely etiology being the soot from chimneys.
Psychiatric Examination and Social/Occupational Correlates: Mr. C's depression has been chronic for several years. I do not believe it to be organic in nature-rather, he has a number of unresolved issues in his personal and professional life which cause him distress. He exhibits long-term amnesia, and cannot recall any events more than 5 years ago. This may be due to a repressed psychological trauma he experienced, head trauma, or, more likely, the mythical nature of his existence. Although the patient has a jolly demeanor, he expresses
profound unhappiness. He reports anger at not receiving royalties for the widespread commercial use of his likeness and name. Although he reports satisfaction with the sex he has with his wife, I sense he may feel erotic impulses when children sit on his lap, and I worry he may have pedophillic tendencies. This could be the subconscious reason he employs only vertically-challenged workers ("elfs"), but I believe his hiring practices are more likely a reaction formation due to body-image problems stemming from his obesity. The patient feels annoyed and worried when he is told many people do not believe he exists, and I feel this may develop into a serious identity crisis if
not dealt with. He reports great stress over having to choose which gifts to give to children, and a feeling of guilt and inadequacy over the decisions he makes as to which children are "naughty" and "nice". Because he experiences total darkness lasting many months during winter at the North Pole, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) may be a contributor to his depression.
Treatment and Counseling: All Mr. C's wounds were cleaned and dressed, and he was prescribed an antibiotic ointment for his eyes. A referral to a physiotherapist was made to ameliorate his disk problem On February 9, a bilateral orchidectomy was performed, and no further cancer has been detected as of this writing. He was counselled to wash soot from his body regularly, to avoid lit-fire chimney descents where practicable, and to consider switching to a closed-sleigh, heated, pressurized sleigh. He refused suggestions to add a helmet and protective accessories to his uniform. He was put on a high-fibre, low cholesterol diet, and advised to reduce his smoking and drinking. He has shown success with these lifestyle changes so far, although it remains to be seen whether he will be able to resist the treats left out for him next Christmas. He visits a psychiatrist weekly, and reports doing "Not too bad, HO! HO! HO!".
Conclusions: Physicians, when presented with aerial sleigh-borne present-deliverers exhibiting more than a few of these symptoms, should seriously consider ASBPDS as their differential diagnosis. I encourage other physicians with access to patients working in allied professions (e.g.Nightly Teeth-Purchasers or Annual Candied Egg Providers) to investigate whether analogous anatomical/ physiological/psychological syndromes exist. The happiness of children everywhere depend on effective management of these syndromes.
(http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/nakedsant.gif)
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Santa Stats
(http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/REINDEERE.gif)
There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)
December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.
Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.
Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.
At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.
Yeah, I posted something about this in another thread Dottie. It's pretty funny. :D
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=6862.0 (http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=6862.0)
Thanks again for posting these! :D
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(http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/alce10.gif)Santa's Reindeer.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish andGame, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them,from Rudolph to Blitzen........had to be a girl. We should have known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost.
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(http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/alce10.gif)Santa's Reindeer.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish andGame, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them,from Rudolph to Blitzen........had to be a girl. We should have known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost.
LOL
Well, women and a few gay men probably.
Not me though. I get lost in parking lots.
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Oh David :laugh: You never fail to make me smile! Let's see if I can return the favor;
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
(http://www.heathersanimations.com/xmas/newsantalaf.gif)
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Dog lover that I am this one really appeals to me
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/114/christmasdoganimmu7.gif) (http://imageshack.us)
CHRISTMAS DOG
By Shel Silverstein
Tonight's my first night as a watchdog,
And here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs,
While I'm guardin' the stockin's and tree.
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6674/christmasdog1by5.gif) (http://imageshack.us)(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6674/christmasdog1by5.gif) (http://imageshack.us)(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6674/christmasdog1by5.gif) (http://imageshack.us)
What's that now---footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who's this down the chimney?
A thief with a beard---
And a big sack for robbin' the house?
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7056/christmasdog1azi7.gif) (http://imageshack.us)
I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt.
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air.
I've frightened the whole bunch away.
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6581/christmasdog1bni9.gif) (http://imageshack.us)
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again.
The stockin's are safe as can be.
Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow
And see how I've guarded the tree.
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7609/christmasdog1ckb7.gif) (http://imageshack.us)
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When we think of BBM Xmas we think of You >> Dottie!! That Dawg Xmas story is fun. :laugh:
Season's
Greetings
-
The Heroes of Christmas
?twas the night before Christmas and all through Wyoming
Ennis del Mar was driving, although it was snowing.
The foreman had called, said, ?We need you here now.?
He hadn?t known that the streets weren?t plowed.
But the jolly old elf was desperate that night
And needed del Mar to help him take flight.
The reindeer were birthing, the wrong time of year
To be short of stock with Christmas so near.
The girls were nestled, all snug in their beds
As Ennis had kissed the tops of their heads.
Alma had grimaced over his leaving.
?Why you?? she had protested, not quite believing.
??cause I know my trade when it comes to the stock
That Santa Claus needs to keep up with the clock.?
So Ennis drove on with a devil-may-care
Attitude in his driving, intent on being there.
Far off in Childress, a blue-shirted man
Had just settled down to eat beans from a can
The memory of which brought a tear to his eye
As he thought of old Brokeback, with three years gone by
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
He jumped off the couch to see what was the matter.
An ancient blue truck had pulled up to his house
And out sprang his Ennis. ?Are you a man, or a mouse?
There?s an old man in red needs our help right away.
We must leave this minute, I?ll brook no delay.?
Jack?s jaw hung open, ?cause he was too stunned
To say much of anything, ?cept, ?Gotta go, hon!?
So northward they drove to the aid of St. Nick
Through the snow falling faster, now several feet thick.
To the stables they raced once the place was in sight
There Mrs. Claus stood, her face pale with fright.
?Thank goodness you?re here. We?re all in a tizzy.
The fawning?s been keeping the elves far too busy
To take time away to finish the toys
And load up the sleigh, so hurry in, boys.?
They found Mr. Kringle inside the first stall
Leaning back, looking tired, his head on the wall.
?We?ll take it from here, sir. I?ve brought Jack Twist
And several Basque herders, who?ll make sure none are missed.
They?re the best in the biz when it comes to the care
Of small frightened creatures who run here and there.?
?But how will the sleigh fly without my reindeer?
There?s no other animal with as keen of an ear.?
But Ennis was ready for this question, too.
He waved to his truck. ?Do you think this?ll do??
The Basques were unloading his trailer behind
And out stepped Cigar Butt, with his gait so fine.
This surprising occurrence made Santa Claus smile.
?Ennis, my son, you drove many miles
To save Christmas Eve for the kids of the world.?
He cleared his throat, then a parchment unfurled
And, standing up tall, he beamed as he read
From the crispy new paper. ?Hear this,? he said.
?I declare Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist to be
The heroes of Christmas. Signed, Joe Aguirre.?
They gaped at the red-suited man in the room
As he took off his mask. No glower of doom
On that face so familiar, the one they had hated.
They now knew the truth, unanticipated.
Gawwwwwllllyyyyy, Barbara! Wow. Wow. Wow. Hug. :)