BetterMost, Wyoming & Brokeback Mountain Forum
Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond => Brokeback Mountain Open Forum => Topic started by: vince55 on December 07, 2006, 10:57:56 pm
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I am a 58 year old gay man who has seen Brokeback at least 5 times. I come from the era of Brokeback which was the early 60's. The movie profoundly affected me in several ways. During that period of time the gay culture was underground. There were very few clubs or bars you could go to without fearing a police raid. I was actually in a bar raid where paddy wagons arrested about 100 people for being in a homosexual establishment. We also feared leaving clubs without being escorted to our vehicles in fear of being bashed. As far as my professional life, I was in the education system which was definitely not the place to be. I had to remain closeted and fearful of being outed. I had pictures of various girls on my desk as a decoy and the lies were excessive. The isolation was horrible. In addition I was an only son in a first generation Italian family. When my father found a note I had written to another gay man, he began drinking heavily which in a short time killed him.
I had the opportunity of having an eight year relationship with someone. We broke up in 1981 and he died of AIDS in 1989. Since then, I more or less gave up on relationships and stopped dating. I haven't lived with anyone since 1981. I retired to Florida from New York about 2 years ago. Last October when Hurricane Wilma hit Florida I was alone and suffered a heart problem and ended up with a pacemaker. I've kept my life filled with a few friends but never wanted to pursue a relationship until Brokeback Mountain. When I saw Ennis looking out that window all alone it made me realize that you shouldn't give up on love and you need to take risks. I never wanted to risk the chance of being hurt again in a relationship but BBM made me realize that the alternative (Ennis) was not the way.
I work part time at a furniture store and I met another gay man who asked me out. I never would accept a date from anyone. BBM made me change my mind and I decided to take a chance. To make a long story short, we've been together 7 months now and very happy. If it wasn't for BBM, I would have never found my own Brokeback Mountain. Thanks Ennis! And Thanks to ANG LEE [/b] for showing everyone the isolation and the fear we experienced!
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I work part time at a furniture store and I met another gay man who asked me out. I never would accept a date from anyone. BBM made me change my mind and I decided to take a chance. To make a long story short, we've been together 7 months now and very happy. If it wasn't for BBM, I would have never found my own Brokeback Mountain. Thanks Ennis! And Thanks to ANG LEE [/b] for showing everyone the isolation and the fear we experienced!
Wonderful! Congratulations! Hope things continue to go well for you and your special someone! Thanks for sharing--that's what we're here for! ;)
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Hi Vince!
Welcome to BetterMost and thanks for sharing that great story!
Stay a while and look around. You want a cup of coffee dontcha? Piece of Cherry cake?
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Vince, thank you so much for telling your story. It gives me a lift to know that you found the courage to take a chance and it paid off. I hope you stick around and enjoy being here at BetterMost! 8)
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Ennis had that same effect on a lot of us, Vince, gay and straight. I've been adhering to the More Jack, Less Ennis philosophy for four or five months now and it seems to be working out really well!
Welcome to BetterMost.
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welcome to the forums lookin forward to seeing you around and great story !
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What a touching story Vince! And with such a happy ending or should I say a happy continuance :D Good for you! Thanks for sharing.
Dottie
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Bless you Vince, Thank you for sharing your story with us. What perseverence it takes to live in this world, I don't know you but reading of what you went thru makes me pround to call myself a gay man. Hope you;ll stay around and continue to share.
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Great story, Vince! I'm glad you decided to turn this heart-wrenching tale into something positive. I, too, after all the tears (which continue to flow) have been more willing to pursue any stirring of the heart with someone since watching this tale. I have turned their tragedies into something instructive, so to speak.
I've not yet "had the opportunity," but am more convinced than ever before that individual happiness cannot be achieved if we let what others say or do restrict us from reaching for any dream or goal.
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Vince, thanks for sharing your wonderful story! This is one of the happiest consequences of seeing BBM that I've heard of yet.
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Hi Vince. Thank you for sharing your heart-felt story. Far too many people still don't undertand the fear and isolation we face and experianced. We've been through a lot and we are going to make it. I'm glad BBM affected you in a very positive way. It has done a lot of good things to many of us and make us really think about what we really want in life. It has spawn many sites, like Bettermost, that we can pour our guts out and people will listen. Best of wishes to you and your little darlin. Please stay around as there are many interesting people here and lots of stuff to talk about.
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Hey there, Rick,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It's hard to imagine all you've gone through. It seems that although we each have our personal reasons for being so moved by Brokeback Mountain, our stories seem to have common themes - loneliness, isolation, tragedy, missed opportunities....
I hear much truth here:
When I saw Ennis looking out that window all alone it made me realize that you shouldn't give up on love and you need to take risks. I never wanted to risk the chance of being hurt again in a relationship but BBM made me realize that the alternative (Ennis) was not the way.
I am so happy for the happiness you've found and wish you all the best! You deserve it!
...but am more convinced than ever before that individual happiness cannot be achieved if we let what others say or do restrict us from reaching for any dream or goal.
Vince - that's a wonderful way to summarize my feelings too. I'm trying to apply many of what I call 'my lessons' from BBM to my own life. It's no magic bullet, in my case, but I feel for the first time in many years that I am moving in the direction that is right for me.
-Lynne