You all thought you got rid of me.....lol.....well you know I always have to come here to share things that I don't feel comfortable sharing elsewhere
“Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl)” and “Glory Bound”……..songs such as these reminds me of a time probably around the summer of 1972……when a never ending memory happened to me. These songs always and will always remind me of a guy named Bill Stockton from Cincinnati, Ohio who I have never seen again since the morning I left Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. People in general don’t seem to realize that people who are growing up “gay” have the same thoughts, feelings, or whatever you want to call them that “straight” people do. I have absolutely no idea if Bill was gay or straight. It didn’t really matter at the time. I felt a connection to him and I will never forget him. When my parents left the beach that morning I cried to myself all the way back cause I knew I would never see him again. He made an impression on me that still lives today and that was decades ago. I think it is safe to say that I will never forget him as long as my mind continues to remember things. I have wished so many times that I could go back and relive those moments again.
I really have never forgotten those few short days or any of the events when I met Bill that summer. Some of it is a little foggy, but not too much so. My parents and I were staying at the Yachtsman which at the time was new and did not have the center tower as it does now. In fact there may have only been one part of the hotel at that time. I was at the pool and I honestly do not remember for sure if it was me smoking a cigarette or him. I think it must have been me. All I know is I saw a guy there at the pool that day that would become ingrained in my mind forever. I seriously would not be able to tell anyone now what he looked like. It was one of those things that was so strong the mental part of it really takes over in my mind what he looked like. I know he looked great. That much is for sure. Anyway, I was looking at him, but not staring at him. He came up to me and I believe did ask for a cigarette. I gave him one and we started talking. I have no idea what we did talk about. All I know is I had those feelings that have remained so rare over the rest of my life. You know it is those feelings you cannot put into words. It was a connection and I’m sure he felt it too.
I think at some point that day after we talked and were in the pool that we went up to his family’s hotel room and had sandwiches. I remember his father saying that their last name was Stockton like the town in California. Bill and I made plans to go to the Pavilion that night which was the big amusement park there, but I had to get my parents to go out to eat earlier than usual. I remember I worked so hard at that cause my main thoughts were about spending time with him. We did get back in time, but Bill was nowhere to be found. I remember my heart sank if I even knew at the time what that was. It turned out Bill was stuck in the elevator at the hotel. Finally, I knew what was going on and eventually they got him out. We went out to the Pavilion and of course we were supposed to be looking for girls. I don’t think we really were cause when we found some we both ended up not wanting to have anything to do with them. I remember us standing in line to ride the Octopus……I even remember exactly where it was located in the park. He was telling me that it would be his last summer to do things like that cause he was joining the service. He said he was 18, but even then I really did not believe that. I think I was maybe 14 or 15, but I was saying I was 17. You know what it is like during those years. That was our night and our only night. The next morning my parents were ready to leave since it was time for the vacation to end. I remember going up to where his room was, but it was too early to see Bill again. I’m sure he and his family were still asleep. I wish I could or would have left a note so that maybe he would get in touch with me again, but I didn’t. Instead I laid in the back seat of the car crying all the way back very secretly to myself. Sure I was sad to leave the beach, but I was sadder to leave Bill. I even thought of ways to try to get back down there before he left, but of course I couldn’t. I never was to see him again. I have wondered over the years what may have happened to him. I guess that will always remain a mystery. All these years later after so much has gone on in my life I still think of him and that time. If only I could have seen him one more time. I know how rare it really is to feel a connection with someone that strong.
