Author Topic: What do we all do for a living?  (Read 15361 times)

Offline serious crayons

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #40 on: July 27, 2007, 02:18:26 am »
That wasn't me who said that!  My child's only four, I think yelling at her til my throat hurt would be traumatic for her.

It was me! And I did it when my children were four, five, six and ... well, they're 11 and 12 I still do it sometimes. Not quite on a daily basis, but still.

Traumatic? Yes, absolutely. My kids' childhoods were -- and still are -- traumatic for all concerned.  :-\

Quote
  Besides yelling doesn't seem to be the motivator for her.   "Wow, all you have left is to put your shoes on and then we can GO!" still works with her pretty well.   I do a whole lot of "Hey, as soon as you [FILL IN BLANK A], then we can [FILL IN BLANK B]!!"  :)
 

I tried all of those things and more, and none of them ever worked for me. Ever. Yelling until my throat hurt wasn't so much a strategy as an inevitable normal human reaction.

I still get astounded sometimes about how persuadable other kids can be. For example, the other day I heard what appeared to be a grandmother explaining to a girl of maybe four why junk food is bad for you. The girl, immediately and utterly convinced, said passionately, "They shouldn't even sell it!"

Wow, I thought. There are kids in this world who, when they hear an adult tell them something, immediately assume they are right and adopt that opinion themselves.

My kids assume I am right about purely factual matters only. What a word means, for example. When it comes to opinions, they have always, always had their own.


Offline Shasta542

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #41 on: July 27, 2007, 02:20:34 am »
Quote
I still get astounded sometimes about how persuadable other kids can be. For example, the other day I heard what appeared to be a grandmother explaining to a girl of maybe four why junk food is bad for you. The girl, immediately and utterly convinced, said passionately, "They shouldn't even sell it!"

How cute!!
"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"

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Offline Kelda

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #42 on: July 27, 2007, 03:38:07 am »
It was me! And I did it when my children were four, five, six and ... well, they're 11 and 12 I still do it sometimes. Not quite on a daily basis, but still.

Traumatic? Yes, absolutely. My kids' childhoods were -- and still are -- traumatic for all concerned.  :-\
 

I tried all of those things and more, and none of them ever worked for me. Ever. Yelling until my throat hurt wasn't so much a strategy as an inevitable normal human reaction.

I still get astounded sometimes about how persuadable other kids can be. For example, the other day I heard what appeared to be a grandmother explaining to a girl of maybe four why junk food is bad for you. The girl, immediately and utterly convinced, said passionately, "They shouldn't even sell it!"

Wow, I thought. There are kids in this world who, when they hear an adult tell them something, immediately assume they are right and adopt that opinion themselves.

My kids assume I am right about purely factual matters only. What a word means, for example. When it comes to opinions, they have always, always had their own.



heh, a little bit of yelling every now and then doesn't hurt kids too much I'd say!

I'm sure I'll do a bit of yelling when it comes my turn!
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Offline Ellemeno

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #43 on: July 27, 2007, 04:45:06 am »
Katherine - sounds like you've got real thinkers there.  :)  For real. 

I don't know what to say about the trauma.  I believe you, but I sure didn't see any samples of you yelling when I spent four blissful days with you - blissful in significant part BECAUSE of you.  :-*


Offline isabelle

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #44 on: July 27, 2007, 06:32:37 am »

I tried all of those things and more, and none of them ever worked for me. Ever. Yelling until my throat hurt wasn't so much a strategy as an inevitable normal human reaction.





Hi Katherine,

I agree with you on this one! You are not the only one who ends up yelling at your kids, whatever the age! I have done it with mine too (and it still happens , but more rarely), because I do not want to hit them (and it is not my 'natural' reaction to hit either!) But there are times when THEY do the screaming (before YOU), and things can get out of hand and you start yelling.

Like yours, my kids have a mind of their own! And although it is very hard as a parent, in the long run I think it is all the better for them.

Be careful there, though, Katherine: take care of yourself. I heard 7 months ago that I had developed an auto-immune disease that is stressed induced, and I am certain that the level of stress induced by child-rearing and yelling at them (which actually increases the stress) is no alien to my developing this.
Now I try to preserve myself, and just send them to their bedroom if they start being a nuisance, with the advice to stay in there till they calm down, or I "promise" to deprive them of something they like/want to do if they don't. At the ages of 6 and 13, this still works (when all else fails).

And believe me, they are NOT traumatized. They may be pains at home sometimes (and less and less so), but are perfectly behaved at school and at other people's houses, and always get praised for it!
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Offline serious crayons

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #45 on: July 29, 2007, 03:00:02 am »
Merci, Isabelle, Clarissa, Kelda and Shasta.

It's weird. I actually don't have a particularly hot temper, I don't think, but the kids really bring it out in me. And then I always wonder, when strangers see the kids acting up and me yelling at them, if they think, "Well, no wonder they misbehave, with a horrible mom like that!" when actually, in my mind, it's the reverse. People assume parents should mold their kids' behavior, but really don't give much thought to the idea that it can also work the other way around.

My kdis are not particularly well-behaved at school. I've had calls from just about every teacher my older son (the harder one) has ever had. The teachers are perplexed, because he is gifted and gets perfect grades and incredible test scores but disobeys instructions and constantly disrupts the classroom. Luckily, as he gets older I've heard less blame in their voices. With younger children, there is the assumption that misbehavior is a sign of faulty parenting. (Good school work, on the other hand, is never a sign of good parenting -- the blame/credit thing only follows certain channels).

I do send him to his room -- compared to his easier younger brother, he has probably spent literally close to 100 times the hours in time outs -- even though that in itself is a very stressful thing. He refuses to go. When he was younger I could pick him up and carry him, kicking and screaming and grabbing doorframes, and often had to stand there holding his door closed with all of my strength while he threw himself against it like a rabid wolverine. He would build what would otherwise be a 10-minute time out for a minor infraction into an all-night affair that disrupted the entire family ...

Well, anyway, time outs have been harder to enforce now that he's too big to pick up and carry. Luckily, as he has gotten older and more rational he's easier to deal with. He has always felt that he was right about everything. When he was four, him being right meant running out in front of cars in the Target parking lot. Now that he's 12, his idea of right is slightly more reasonable. But there's still a long ways to go ...

Anyway, the qualities my kids have that drive me crazy are qualities that will serve them well once they become adults. Stubborness, high energy, confidence, singlemindedness, strength of will, refusal to be intimidated by ANYONE. On top of intelligence and creativity, they should do well. And when they win their nomination or award or election or whatever, no one in the audience will be clapping harder than me (or sighing a bigger sigh of relief).

OK, sorry for blabbing on. Back to other people's jobs.


Offline Shasta542

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #46 on: July 29, 2007, 03:05:35 am »
Whew! Just reading that made me tired! :P

I think you sound like a very good and patient mom!!
"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"

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Offline Kelda

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #47 on: July 31, 2007, 09:31:23 am »
I have split this thread where we began to talk about discipline on David's suggestion and moved it to the Dealing with young kids and teenagers thread - hope noone minds!

Now - back on to what we do for a living!

Is anyone else a full time Mom or dad?

Or has anyone got an exciting career?? C'mon Jake and Heath if you're online masquarading as a normal person! - tell us about your job!!!

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Offline louisev

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #48 on: August 07, 2007, 01:35:51 pm »
What do you do? 

Software development and deployment consultant.

More than one thing?

I wrote novels and poems - IN MY SPARE TIME!!!

Work at home?

Not often.

Seasonal work?   FT, PT, variable, on call, hourly? 

Full time.

Are you doing what you wanted to do?     

It pays for the house and it pays for the editing *some of it * and the printing when I put out a book.

Would you prefer some other line of work? 


oh yeah, being a famous novelist is what I intend when I finally get discovered!
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Offline jwt94901

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Re: What do we all do for a living?
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2007, 11:37:53 am »
What do you do?   
I am a full-time community college English instructor.

More than one thing?
Not now.  I used to teach at two or three different places but have not done so since 2005.

Work at home?
Just grading essays or creating lesson plans! 

Seasonal work?   FT, PT, variable, on call, hourly? 
I sometimes (usually) teach one class in the summer for extra money.  I am FT and am able to set my schedule, within reason, as to how I like it. 

Are you doing what you wanted to do?     Would you prefer some other line of work?   
Yes, although many years ago I never dreamed of being a teacher.  I must say, though, if I were able to go back in time and change my famly dynamics, and "what was expected or requested" of me, particularly by my father, I would definitely have donet hings a lot differently and most likely be doing something entirely different now.  Still, I greatly enjoy my work and love teaching, although I loathe the political landmines I have had to roll through or step around ever so gingerly.