1. I’m feelin’ a bit moby today.
I'm feeling sick today!!
2. According to the hickory we’re late.
According to the CLOCK we're late.
3. I put on me best whistle.
I put on my best top?
4. Allo’ me old china.
Allow me old fish?
5. He always rabbits on about something.
he always bleats on about something
6. Them bloody teapots are under foot again.
Them bloody strumpets are under foot again!
7. She’s always on the dog.
She's always on the stoop.
8. I kicked this geezer in the berlins.
9. My bloody pitch kept me late again.
My bloody plague kept me late again..
10. Old Jim is brown.
Old Jim is impaired!
11. Get your plates off the table.
Get your goons off the table.
12. He shouldn’t be drivin’, he’s elephants.
He shouldn't be drivin', he's got beers!
13. It’s my shout, I’ll get you a pig.
14. My bloody cherry ran off again.
My bloody bloke ran off again.
15. I’d like you to meet the trouble.
I'd like you to meet the faker.
16. I’ve lost the keys to the mickey.
I've lost the keys to the house.
17. I’ve got no sausage.
I've got no legs!
18. Next thing I know he's got his Oliver in my face.
I CAN"T say that one!!!
19. That sounds robin.
20. 'e can't afford it - 'e ain't got a corn.
He can't afford it - he ain't got a Bob!
I'll post the answers in a few days. In the meantime .... anyone fancy a Knees Up??