To expand a bit on caring for someone at home---just our own situation:
Dad was not mean or violent, but he was very agitated. He'd want to get up from the table as soon as he was done eating, so I'd have to jump up and help him get up, supervise his toothbrushing, try to get him settled, etc. It made it very difficult for mom or me to do anything like water plants, do dishes, laundry, run errands, etc. because he needed to be watched. He'd come out of his bedroom and nearly topple over because he'd forgotten his walker. Or he'd be up and wanting to go into the bathroom several times at night, making it tough for us to get any sleep until we hired a night nurse--which, at a rate of $20 per hour for 8 hours, really adds up financially.
As I said, the situation was taken out of our hands due to his increasing illnesses and then his insurance and Medicare took over the bills, thank goodness.
On a side note, a bit OT: Sometimes I get a bit upset if I hear anyone say that they would never put a parent in a SNF, that they would care for them at home no matter what, etc. Mostly, these folks have never been in the predicament that we were in. They don't understand the fatigue, the costs, the drain, the stress, etc.
Are there some crappy facilities? Sure, but there are also okay ones and pretty good ones. The nursing/rehab place Dad was in got him an air bed that was low to the ground so he wouldn't get bedsores and wouldn't fall out of it as he nearly did at home, used no hand restraints like they did in the hospital (seeing dad restrained was horrible--they did it because he was combative and might have flung himself to the floor, but it was still a nightmare), kept a close eye on him, tried their best to get him to eat and drink, kept him clean, exercised him, etc. They did the best they could with a tough situation, just as we had tried to do at home.
Okay, sermon over.