My aunt the nurse just called.
She had spoken with my mother yesterday and she was worried about the tone in her voice.
"I just wanted to tell you what the doctors told me the last time I took your mom to the doctor."
"OK."
"I was told you mother probably won't see her next birthday."
My mom's birthday is in April.
I said, "Oh?"
I didn't know what to say. What do you say to something like that?
Instead I reassured my aunt that I had just - not a half hour earlier - been at my mom's visiting, taking groceries. She had eaten a big bowl of soup and crackers, a big mug of milk while I was there and had been in good spirits. We had made plans to take her to her new church on Easter weekend.
My mom's favorite holiday.
I knew she had had a digestive oopsie the day before but she'd been very sick to her stomach then. She was better now.
I suppose my aunt was trying to be helpful, letting us know if we didn't already that my mom had basically been sent home to die.
My matter of fact reply, "Yes, we know. We talk to the doctors. Mom told us." must have nonplussed her. I suppose she must have been expecting some drama?
We've been living with this for so long, we know she's fading and there's not a damned thing any of us can do about it. It's massively sad and depressing and you feel so helpless, but what good does it do to linger on it?
She's alive now, so I let her live.
I try to let her live her life, be as independent as she can be, while helping when she can't. We talk work, neighborhood and family gossip, politics.
My aunt suggested we send hospice nurses to check on my mother and she thought someone should check on her every day.
I let that suggestion hang in the air.
My aunt - my mother's sister, with no young children, no husband and long retired - did not volunteer.
So I just said, "We call her almost every day, someone goes to visit at least 2-4 times a week."
I guess, I don't know why she called. Just an FYI, I suppose.
So now, I'm pretty bummed but am going to try to not let it get me too depressed.
I'm betting she will make it to her birthday.