Hey there, Del,
I want to offer some comfort too, though I know how tough it is when things get this bad.
You can definitely tell me to mind my own business - no harm, no foul. But my own mom has had to have a ventilator and feeding tube on two different occasions, while the doctors played with antibiotic cocktails to suppress her MRSA infection.
I'm only saying this because the last time was 2006? or whatever year Katrina was, and although she was weak and spent several months in a nursing home afterward, Mom was back home as quickly as possible and there still. Actually she hasn't had anything serious since then (knock wood and cross everything possible).
Are you sure this feeding tube business is the beginning of a final outcome? Oftentimes, there's always hope. If my mother's doctor hadn't been so confident about the last MRSA fight, I would have denied her the last four-plus years of her life because the first time she had so much mental damage when she came back. He saved her life, when I would chosen differently. I'm thankful he's a man I have always been able to trust with her.
Ultimately, that doesn't matter at this moment, tho. I think you should do your best to be grateful for the time you've had with her and the things you've been able to do for her, no matter the result. You'll never regret that. And, as sad as it is to say, I doubt you'll ever feel like you've done enough, no matter what you've done or do from here on out. I think it's one of those mother/daughter things.
Keep us posted on her condition and how you're doing, please. I'm keeping you close in my thoughts, as always.
Lynne