Some years ago, I was doing my grocery shopping at the supermarket. Pushing my trolley around the isles. Minding my own business. After a while, I became aware that people were looking in my direction and laughing. At first I ignored it and pretended they were looking at someone else. It's just my old agoraphobia problem flaring up again, I told myself! They're not
really laughing at me. But sure enough, they were laughing at me. Looked down at my fly. Nope, that was okay - closed-up tight. Continued on my way, trying to ignore the attention I was generating, as best I could. And then I saw it! Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed a quizzical bobbing head and outstretched claws! It was the biggest praying mantis you've ever seen. And it was sitting on my shoulder, devoutly praying up a novena that would do any zealous novitiate nun proud! "Thank god," I thought, "It's only a praying mantis. I haven't grown a second head, after all!" Pretending like I knew he was there all along, and endeavouring to maintain a stoic demeanour, I made my way to the nearest exit, abandoning my purchases en route, and deposited my newly made friend in a bush by the supermarket door. I still have no idea how that praying mantis got on my shoulder. Must have brushed against him on the way to the store. Who knows? Could have been worse, I suppose. I mean, it could have been a tarantula! In which case, it wouldn't have just been embarrassment that I would have had to contend with. There would have been a small matter of my soiled britches, also!