Author Topic: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)  (Read 17179 times)

mvansand76

  • Guest
Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« on: August 29, 2007, 06:26:21 am »
Never started a thread for a story that hasn't been posted yet, but I heard it through the grapevine and I thought I would start a topic for this so that Amy knows where to tell us all about this new story!

She posted on EJ that she is planning to post chapter one of this new story next Thursday.

Amy, if you can't tell us what it is about, we will start speculating, OK?

 :laugh:

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2007, 09:50:33 am »
Hi, guys!  I wanted to post something here, but wasn't sure where to put it.   ;)  Yes, next Thursday I will be posting the first chapter of my new AU!AU, "Turbulence."  I don't really want to give too much away at this point (partly b/c, as usual, I'm writing by the seat of my pants and don't have a clear idea of where the story is going...LOL).  I will say that it's a modern day AU!AU.  And don't expect too much....I honestly think Shades was probably the best BBM story I'll ever write, so this one most likely won't measure up.  But I'm having fun with the writing process and just getting back into the swing of things.  Anway, thanks for the enthusiasm and encouragement!

Offline MaineWriter

  • Bettermost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,042
  • Stay the course...
    • Bristlecone Pine Press
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2007, 09:56:07 am »
Welcome, Amy! Good to have you back and good to have you writing again!

Leslie
Taming Groomzilla<-- support equality for same-sex marriage in Maine by clicking this link!

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2007, 10:21:39 am »
Ok guys, let the speculation begin....

 ;D

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2007, 10:30:12 am »
Welcome, Amy! Good to have you back and good to have you writing again!

Leslie

Thanks, Leslie!  I had to take a break to get my RL in order (amazing what ignoring it for six months will do!  LOL).  But I was missing Jack and Ennis and the fun of posting, so I thought I'd give it another whirl.   ;)

Offline Brown Eyes

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,377
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2007, 10:32:22 am »
Wow!  This is really exciting news!  Can't wait to read the new story. :)
the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2007, 12:34:11 pm »
Terrific news!  Mel and I were recently talking about SOG and wishing for a new story - and here it is! 

Counting down the days...

Thanks, Amy!

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2007, 12:38:37 pm »
Hi, guys!  I wanted to post something here, but wasn't sure where to put it.   ;)  Yes, next Thursday I will be posting the first chapter of my new AU!AU, "Turbulence."  I don't really want to give too much away at this point (partly b/c, as usual, I'm writing by the seat of my pants and don't have a clear idea of where the story is going...LOL).  I will say that it's a modern day AU!AU.  And don't expect too much....I honestly think Shades was probably the best BBM story I'll ever write, so this one most likely won't measure up.  But I'm having fun with the writing process and just getting back into the swing of things.  Anway, thanks for the enthusiasm and encouragement!

Isn't it great to step back in? It's still an exciting world!

Ok, Turbulence, I'm thinking pilots on a plane, I'm thinking stewards on a plane (ha, the stories my stewardess sister tells me...), I'm thinking fighter jets (mmm... they don't experience turbulence), I'm thinking.... what am I thinking?  :-\

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2007, 01:12:08 pm »



       Well this is very exciting news.  All of your stories have been wonderful.  I am sure this
one will be no different.                                                                          janice



     Beautiful mind

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2007, 04:57:22 pm »
YEEEEAAAAAAA!!!!!!!  :D  :D


I can't WAIT to start reading this story!!!!

Thanks Amy!!!  :-*  :D

And thanks to Melissa for starting this thread and telling us about it!  :)
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline Marina

  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 415
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2007, 12:01:06 pm »
Amy, you are too modest.  If I Asked and Shades of Grey I thought were wonderfully written stories, and I enjoyed them very, very much.  Looking forward to this one too. :)
“Only within the moment of time represented by the present century has one species -- man -- acquired significant power to alter the nature of his world.”
~Rachel Carson~

~Looking back on it, they both realized it was the best thing they ever had.~  - A Mother's Love

Offline LauraGigs

  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,447
    • My Design Portfolio
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2007, 01:52:17 am »
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of If I Asked !

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2007, 12:21:48 pm »
T-2 days and counting!   :D

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2007, 02:50:39 pm »
You know what, Amy, I think you are the first writer with a thread for a story that you haven't even started posting yet!

 ;D

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2007, 04:11:03 pm »
You know what, Amy, I think you are the first writer with a thread for a story that you haven't even started posting yet!

 ;D

Aaah!!  That just makes me more nervous!  :D  I probably shouldn't have announced I was posting ahead of time, but I needed something to force me to stop being lazy and write already.  LOL

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #15 on: September 05, 2007, 02:43:03 pm »
Aaah!!  That just makes me more nervous!  :D  I probably shouldn't have announced I was posting ahead of time, but I needed something to force me to stop being lazy and write already.  LOL

Not to make you more nervous or anything, Amy, but ...T-1 day and counting!!!!!!  :D

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #16 on: September 05, 2007, 03:15:05 pm »
Not to make you more nervous or anything, Amy, but ...T-1 day and counting!!!!!!  :D

Marie

Wooooooweeeeeee yeeeeeaaaaah! Are you going to keep your weekly posting schedule, as usual, Amy?

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #17 on: September 05, 2007, 04:18:26 pm »
Wooooooweeeeeee yeeeeeaaaaah! Are you going to keep your weekly posting schedule, as usual, Amy?

I've been dreading that question and it's one I was going to address when I posted the first chapter.  I honestly can't promise weekly postings this time around.  It's what I'm hoping for, but I can't guarantee it.  Writing Shades and posting once a week was really hard on my real life and I don't want to stress myself out the way I did last time.  Having said that, knowing myself, I seriously doubt it will be more than 10 days or so between chapters at the longest, but I'll just have to see how it all plays out once I start posting.  I'll do my best!

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #18 on: September 05, 2007, 04:27:35 pm »
I've been dreading that question and it's one I was going to address when I posted the first chapter.  I honestly can't promise weekly postings this time around.  It's what I'm hoping for, but I can't guarantee it.  Writing Shades and posting once a week was really hard on my real life and I don't want to stress myself out the way I did last time.  Having said that, knowing myself, I seriously doubt it will be more than 10 days or so between chapters at the longest, but I'll just have to see how it all plays out once I start posting.  I'll do my best!

I know what you mean about the weekly posting, I've been trying it, and it worked out for a while, but then RL things intervened and I got off schedule. Now it's working again, but I am not even sure how long. Don't worry about it, Amy, and don't ever let RL suffer from writing...

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #19 on: September 05, 2007, 06:35:46 pm »



        Try and throw in one of your famous chase scenes.  That was like none other.  Wonderful,

and seat of your pants exciting....               just sayin....no pressure....... :D



     Beautiful mind

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #20 on: September 05, 2007, 06:39:46 pm »


        Try and throw in one of your famous chase scenes.  That was like none other.  Wonderful,

and seat of your pants exciting....               just sayin....no pressure....... :D

LOL!!  I wish I could, but this fic is completely different from Shades.  Probably way more boring.  It's definitely not action packed, I'll say that much.  Sorry!

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #21 on: September 06, 2007, 11:24:51 am »
Hi, guys!  Chapter One is up at http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/9228.html

Hope you enjoy it!

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #22 on: September 06, 2007, 12:47:05 pm »
Hi, guys!  Chapter One is up at http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/9228.html

Hope you enjoy it!

Thank you, Amy!  Of course I enjoyed it.


SPOILERS







Wow.  And so we end the first chapter with .......Jack and Ennis, alone, on a mountain.  Wow, again.  This is some damn fine writing.  You can lay to rest any feelings of nervousness, or that this wouldn't measure up, or that the readers shouldn't expect much.  And boring?  Impossible.  My heart doesn't pound like that when I'm reading boring.  You hit all the right notes with the "is this the end of my life" portion - not melodramatic and not overly rational.  Very real.  And I really like the intimacy of the first-person narrative.  Already looking forward to more - who is Ennis del Mar and why was he on his very first plane ride?  Terrific, Amy.  Thanks!

Marie


The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #23 on: September 06, 2007, 02:25:01 pm »
Thank you, Amy!  Of course I enjoyed it.


SPOILERS







Wow.  And so we end the first chapter with .......Jack and Ennis, alone, on a mountain.  Wow, again.  This is some damn fine writing.  You can lay to rest any feelings of nervousness, or that this wouldn't measure up, or that the readers shouldn't expect much.  And boring?  Impossible.  My heart doesn't pound like that when I'm reading boring.  You hit all the right notes with the "is this the end of my life" portion - not melodramatic and not overly rational.  Very real.  And I really like the intimacy of the first-person narrative.  Already looking forward to more - who is Ennis del Mar and why was he on his very first plane ride?  Terrific, Amy.  Thanks!

Marie





Yeah, what she said....  ;) You said it perfectly Marie!

You know whats's so funny? I was on the train back home from work (when I left work at 5.30 PM my time (Holland) Amy still hadn't posted her first chapter and so I went home still not knowing what this story was going to be about) and suddenly, I thought plane crash! This is so weird, because after that, I thought "No, the story can't be about a plane crash, because planes don't crash because of turbulence!"

 ::)

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #24 on: September 06, 2007, 02:27:36 pm »


    Amy:

       I bow down to the mistress of suspense and drama.  That was an awsome beginning Amy.
I love love loved it.  The only thing wrong with it, is having to wait for more. 
       It was just like being there... but without the fire burns                     love          janice



     Beautiful mind

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #25 on: September 06, 2007, 03:58:26 pm »
Super good first chapter Amy!!  :D

I'm enjoying it just as much as I enjoyed SoG.

Did I just say that? I never thought I would hear myself say that! Well, I guess I didn't hear myself say it because I typed it!  :laugh:

But I digress.

I can't wait to read chapter 2! And I completely understand if you need to take some time inbetween chapters. But please don't leave us hanging for too long, okay? Because this is REALLY good!  :D

**********************SPOILERS!!!***********************************


*********************SPOILERS!!!************************************




This almose seems like one of those "Lost" deals. You know the TV series I'm referring to? Anyway I'm wondering how they will get off that mountain, but I'm glad they found some extra clothes and protection from the wind and snow.

Thanks Amy!! I love your story!  :)
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #26 on: September 06, 2007, 04:03:14 pm »
Super good first chapter Amy!!  :D

I'm enjoying it just as much as I enjoyed SoG.

Did I just say that? I never thought I would hear myself say that! Well, I guess I didn't hear myself say it because I typed it!  :laugh:

But I digress.

I can't wait to read chapter 2! And I completely understand if you need to take some time inbetween chapters. But please don't leave us hanging for too long, okay? Because this is REALLY good!  :D

**********************SPOILERS!!!***********************************


*********************SPOILERS!!!************************************




This almose seems like one of those "Lost" deals. You know the TV series I'm referring to? Anyway I'm wondering how they will get off that mountain, but I'm glad they found some extra clothes and protection from the wind and snow.

Thanks Amy!! I love your story!  :)

Hey sweetie, you're online!  :-* And you read Amy's first chapter! Yeeeeeeeh!  ;D

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #27 on: September 06, 2007, 04:08:48 pm »
Hey sweetie, you're online!  :-* And you read Amy's first chapter! Yeeeeeeeh!  ;D

It's very very good!

I didn't want it to stop!  :laugh:

 >:( >:(

I was disappointed when I reached the end of the chapter because I didn't want it to end. I got really involved in the story.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #28 on: September 10, 2007, 07:43:00 am »
The writing is very high quality, certainly.  But...


SPOILERS
























But I had a problem with believability, considering Jack has both broken ribs and a broken wrist, how he could possibly  have managed to drag Ennis out of the wreckage or even tugged on him slightly.  Or carried blankets, or rolled over a dead weight full sized man.  One handed?  A broken wrist renders the entire hand useless.  And hurts like hell, which is not mentioned at all after the crash is over.

Anyone besides me have a problem with believability there?
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #29 on: September 10, 2007, 07:54:53 am »
Didn't the broken ribs and wrist happen when he fled the exploding plane?

I am not sure...  :-\

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #30 on: September 10, 2007, 08:09:15 am »

SPOILER







it is first mentioned when he jumps from the wreckage, but it says in the narrative he wasn't sure when it happened, which I'm not sure makes it any clearer.  Even in a crash, I would think the snapping of  one's wrist would register.  I've been in car crashes but obviously not a plane crash.  At any rate, my believability factor was triggered by the narrative of Jack moving around gathering up things and rolling over the dead man etc, with no mention of his injuries which, if they are snapped bones in his wrist and snapped ribs, he would hardly be able to drag anything, with his good hand, and certainly not be able to heft anything of any weight with broken ribs, one-handed.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #31 on: September 10, 2007, 04:42:38 pm »
SPOILER







it is first mentioned when he jumps from the wreckage, but it says in the narrative he wasn't sure when it happened, which I'm not sure makes it any clearer.  Even in a crash, I would think the snapping of  one's wrist would register.  I've been in car crashes but obviously not a plane crash.  At any rate, my believability factor was triggered by the narrative of Jack moving around gathering up things and rolling over the dead man etc, with no mention of his injuries which, if they are snapped bones in his wrist and snapped ribs, he would hardly be able to drag anything, with his good hand, and certainly not be able to heft anything of any weight with broken ribs, one-handed.



******************SPOILERS!!!*****************************************************




Well, I thought the plane crash was totally believable. Obviously, I have never been in a plane wreck, but I'm sure there is much confusion and chaos. And when people are severely injured, the body produces narcotics (I forget what it's called) which prevents them from feeling pain. And even if they could feel discomfort, the instinct to survive would take over and motivate them to get to safety in spite of the pain and their injuries.

Remember the stories of the grandmother lifting the car off the grandson? I realize this is an urban legend, but people will do amazing and seemingly impossible things during a crisis.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #32 on: September 10, 2007, 05:18:40 pm »
that is possibly true, but to me, if I am wondering how someone can turn over a dead man with a broken wrist and scavenge a wreck for blankets with broken ribs, then the story has an issue of believability for me, if it isnt an issue for you then enjoy!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #33 on: September 11, 2007, 05:23:45 pm »




     I was in a car crash one time.  I had a dislocated thumb, and a giant knot on my eye where it connected to the steering wheel on impact.  I felt totally fine, when the police officer asked if anyone was injured, I said no im fine...
      After we had emptied the car into the back of the police cruiser and got into the back seat for him to drive us fifty miles to the nearest hospital.  My endorphins *David stopped working, and then it hit me.  I had a hand I could hardly move, and a big lump on my head..So yes its possible to do that....I have also heard of Rodeo riders being killed, after an injury that they said was fine.  They walked over sat at a bench, and died sitting there...Those endorphins are very powerful things.



     Beautiful mind

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #34 on: September 11, 2007, 05:53:36 pm »



     I was in a car crash one time.  I had a dislocated thumb, and a giant knot on my eye where it connected to the steering wheel on impact.  I felt totally fine, when the police officer asked if anyone was injured, I said no im fine...
      After we had emptied the car into the back of the police cruiser and got into the back seat for him to drive us fifty miles to the nearest hospital.  My endorphins *David stopped working, and then it hit me.  I had a hand I could hardly move, and a big lump on my head..So yes its possible to do that....I have also heard of Rodeo riders being killed, after an injury that they said was fine.  They walked over sat at a bench, and died sitting there...Those endorphins are very powerful things.

Yes. That word sounds familiar. I remember a doctor telling me those endorphins are very closely related to morphine. It's a very powerful narcotic produced in the brain. It totally numbs the pain for a short while.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #35 on: September 11, 2007, 06:02:36 pm »
well that is where I run into the believability problem.  The pain, yes.  However, endorphins will do nothing for allowing a broken joint to support a hand when it is broken, regardless of the pain.  if only one of the bones in the wrist is broken it is physically possible to lift very very light things, possibly, for a short time, but not if both bones are broken - the wrist will not move to allow the hand to carry.  I got this information from two people who have had broken wrists.  One of them broke his wrist being thrown from his motorcycle.  He was able to put his hand on the handlebar, but was not able to apply the clutch.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #36 on: September 11, 2007, 07:14:47 pm »



       ok



     Beautiful mind

Offline Brown Eyes

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,377
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #37 on: September 12, 2007, 09:59:17 pm »


Yeehaw!  Chapter 2 is up already.  8)

http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/9663.html


the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #38 on: September 13, 2007, 12:59:41 pm »

Yeehaw!  Chapter 2 is up already.  8)

http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/9663.html

SPOILERS



Thanks, Amanda. 

That feeling of being completely lost and abandoned is so intense.  It's hard to wrap your mind around it as a possibililty, let alone have to deal with it as a reality.

So...now we know more about Ennis.  I like Carpenter!Ennis - that's a good fit.  And their situation certainly is conducive to personal revelations.  I really liked the sort of ebb and flow of their conversation - how they each were able to talk the other back from the edge. 

So many questions....from what point in the future is Jack narrating?  How long will they be stranded?  I look forward to seeing what the next chapter brings. 

Marie

The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #39 on: September 13, 2007, 03:10:55 pm »


So many questions....from what point in the future is Jack narrating?  How long will they be stranded?  I look forward to seeing what the next chapter brings. 

Marie




Yeah, I was thinking what could happen is that they are rescued pretty quickly and go back to their own lives and then start to miss something. I am probably totally wrong on this, though!

midwest-girl

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #40 on: September 13, 2007, 09:18:33 pm »

Yeah, I was thinking what could happen is that they are rescued pretty quickly and go back to their own lives and then start to miss something. I am probably totally wrong on this, though!

You could be on to something.... ;)

Offline notBastet

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,276
  • no way out but through
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #41 on: September 13, 2007, 11:09:55 pm »
Something I think is interesting, is when Jack first saw Ennis on the plane (and later) how he referred to a sense of calm that he felt.  (I am paraphrasing, not quoting exactly.)  When I think of Ennis and Jack's relationship [throughout fanfic], I usually perceive Jack as the rescuer, and Ennis as the rescuee.  And I mean this in an emotional sense, not a physical one.  I liked that this started off a little differently.  I am wondering if this dynamic will continue to play out... each giving and taking a little from each other. 
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #42 on: September 14, 2007, 03:30:03 am »
You could be on to something.... ;)

Really??

 :P  ;D

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #43 on: September 14, 2007, 01:01:16 pm »
Something I think is interesting, is when Jack first saw Ennis on the plane (and later) how he referred to a sense of calm that he felt.  (I am paraphrasing, not quoting exactly.)  When I think of Ennis and Jack's relationship [throughout fanfic], I usually perceive Jack as the rescuer, and Ennis as the rescuee.  And I mean this in an emotional sense, not a physical one.  I liked that this started off a little differently.  I am wondering if this dynamic will continue to play out... each giving and taking a little from each other. 

I'd noticed that, too, Kelly - you've articulated that so well.  I imagine the need for this dynamic will only increase once they are "physically" rescued from the mountain.  They will both have an awful lot to deal with ..... on so many levels. 

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline blacktears

  • Jr. Ranch Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 36
  • Hudson Heartbreak
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #44 on: September 14, 2007, 04:00:00 pm »

Yeah, I was thinking what could happen is that they are rescued pretty quickly and go back to their own lives and then start to miss something. I am probably totally wrong on this, though!

This is what I'm hoping for actually. I have to confess the idea of a plane crash used as a plot device doesn't do much for me. I'm not much one for using massive disaster to catapult a story or bring two characters closer together. To me its the little things that can do just as much 'damage' as a plane crash. I don't know, it seemed a little over the top to me, as if it had been done before, recycled as it were. The writing is fantastic but the plot line has yet to grip me. So I'm really anxious for them to get down off the mountain (as opposed to the story lol) and explore their relationship elsewhere.

I liked the first chapter better than the second. I felt as if the second chapter was a lot...explaining? Sometimes you can show and not tell and I felt there was too much telling in this chapter. It seemed like the author tried to get into the two pasts of both people all at once. I'm a reader who doesn't care for much back story (and I always cringe when our boys are married lol). I guess I just felt a little beat over the head with all of the back story in the last chapter.

The description is spot on and lovely and I'm going to wait and see what happens when our boys return to their 'normal' lives before making an opinion on the story as a whole. It's always silly to do that only a few chapters in. I have no idea where midwestgirl is taking this and I like that element. I like to be surprised.  :)
Proud Supporter, Writer, and Reader of RPS

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #45 on: September 14, 2007, 04:27:22 pm »
This is what I'm hoping for actually. I have to confess the idea of a plane crash used as a plot device doesn't do much for me. I'm not much one for using massive disaster to catapult a story or bring two characters closer together. To me its the little things that can do just as much 'damage' as a plane crash. I don't know, it seemed a little over the top to me, as if it had been done before, recycled as it were. The writing is fantastic but the plot line has yet to grip me. So I'm really anxious for them to get down off the mountain (as opposed to the story lol) and explore their relationship elsewhere.

I liked the first chapter better than the second. I felt as if the second chapter was a lot...explaining? Sometimes you can show and not tell and I felt there was too much telling in this chapter. It seemed like the author tried to get into the two pasts of both people all at once. I'm a reader who doesn't care for much back story (and I always cringe when our boys are married lol). I guess I just felt a little beat over the head with all of the back story in the last chapter.

The description is spot on and lovely and I'm going to wait and see what happens when our boys return to their 'normal' lives before making an opinion on the story as a whole. It's always silly to do that only a few chapters in. I have no idea where midwestgirl is taking this and I like that element. I like to be surprised.  :)

I like the idea of using a plane accident as a plot. It makes the story very exciting, and it keeps the story open for many different possibilities. It keeps us guessing because we have no idea where Amy will be taking this story. And I think backdrops are also very important in a story. Backdrops often provide useful information for later on. Backdrops help to explain why characters act and think the way they do. They also add depth to the story and help us to connect with the characters.

I very much enjoyed chapter 2 and I can't wait to read the next one!  :D

Thanks for sharing your story with us Amy. I love it!  :)
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline blacktears

  • Jr. Ranch Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 36
  • Hudson Heartbreak
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #46 on: September 14, 2007, 04:38:52 pm »
I like the idea of using a plane accident as a plot. It makes the story very exciting, and it keeps the story open for many different possibilities. It keeps us guessing because we have no idea where Amy will be taking this story. And I think backdrops are also very important in a story. Backdrops often provide useful information for later on. Backdrops help to explain why characters act and think the way they do. They also add depth to the story and help us to connect with the characters.

I very much enjoyed chapter 2 and I can't wait to read the next one!  :D

Thanks for sharing your story with us Amy. I love it!  :)

Sure back stories are important but I think there are other ways to show than just back and forth dialog. That's just my opinion. It felt like it was squeezed in and it was too much, all at once for me. A character can still act and think the way they do without an entire chapter on their pasts. I just would have liked to have seen that aspect of the story handled in a different manner, that's all. It's nothing against the author or the story, just my opinion and that's what we're all here for right?  :)

Good to have your input David, I love discussion like this  :)

Proud Supporter, Writer, and Reader of RPS

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #47 on: September 14, 2007, 04:43:23 pm »
I think this discussion is great!

I actually disliked the first chapter and liked the second, BECAUSE of the dialogue and the narrative.  Unlike so many fan fictions which are heavily larded with hyperbole, adjectives and multiple adverbs to describe the heightening awareness of Jack and Ennis's erotic longing for one another, chapter 2 was straight on dialogue and narrative and flowed quite naturally.  It is the first chapter I didnt care for due to the way the injuries were described and handled.

And I'm not a big fan of disaster backdrops.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #48 on: September 19, 2007, 07:46:17 pm »
Chapter 3!

http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/9840.html

I've always enjoyed first-person, and I think it works especially well in this story, a very natural fit -  and I love experiencing Ennis through Jack's mind.  I'm anxious to see how we'll learn about how Ennis is doing once the rescue takes place (and I'm hoping that rescue is imminent - how much more can they take before hypothermia and frostbite get the better of them?   :(  ).

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #49 on: September 25, 2007, 04:11:04 pm »
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Amy posted this on her lj today:

http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/2007/09/25/

She's a gifted writer and I wish her all the best.

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

  • Guest
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #50 on: September 25, 2007, 04:36:50 pm »
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Amy posted this on her lj today:

http://midwest-girl.livejournal.com/2007/09/25/

She's a gifted writer and I wish her all the best.

Marie


Oh shit.  :(

Offline David In Indy

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 18,447
  • You've Got Male
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #51 on: September 25, 2007, 05:31:32 pm »
Oh shit.  :(

What Melissa said.  :(

I'm sure Amy has her reasons for doing this, and those reasons are good ones. I for one would like to thank her for all the wonderful hours of reading she provided us over these past months, and if she ever does publish a book, I will be the first in line to purchase it!

Good luck in your endeavors! And even though you won't be writing fanfic anymore, please continue posting messages here on Bettermost, okay? We enjoy chatting with you!  :)
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline Brown Eyes

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,377
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #52 on: September 25, 2007, 09:44:37 pm »
Well, we have some great finished stories by her already.  So, we can be very grateful for those.  But, like the rest of you, I'm also sorry to see that this one won't be finished.  It's nice of her to let us know what's going on.
the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: Turbulence - new story by midwest-girl (Amy)
« Reply #53 on: September 25, 2007, 10:07:24 pm »





         Well thats a heartbreaker.  I am sad..I really like her stories.  Maybe she will get back to it
some day...hopefully.   
         Good luck with your future endeavors.  You have been one of my favorites.



     Beautiful mind