My feeling on this issue is that lesbians are much more accepted in society than gay men as they are non-threatening to the heterosexual male and not that unlike heterosexual women in many of their relationship pursuits and nurturing habits. When was the last time you saw a lesbian gay bashed? Of course, we can't really refer to the Brandon Teena story which is not a lesbian story at all, rather a transgendered example and exists on its own terms, meaning it had as much to do with other churning factors in that little peer group as it did with her sexuality.
In the city where I reside, I see female couples holding hands everywhere, and no one bats an eye. If you are a gay male couple, try doing that outside of a certain gay mecca neighborhood and see the eyebrows--and other things--that will be raised. There's something about what gay men "do" that doesn't sit right with society. Lesbian proclivities are less threatening and don't seem as transgressive in the eyes of most.
What's interesting is how little gay men and lesbians really seem to have in common beyond the orientation issue. Gay men are raised and socialized as straight men are, and I would assume that the same is true for lesbians and straight women. This is why I have many straight male friends--we see eye to eye on many things and ways of expressing ourselves. They are sensitive and more in touch straight guys, but in many ways we are the same. On the other hand, I have much less in common with lesbians it seems. I'm making some generalizations I suppose but they are my perceptions of my own experience.
rt