"A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms."
"And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."
"Auto Repair Service. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."
"Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person."
"Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00"
"Dog for sale. Eats anything and is fond of children."
"Dog kennel, suit medium sized dog, good condition, very turdy ..."
"Extensive collection of Soviet military surplus for sale by newly independent republic. Wide selection of armor, jets, light naval vessels, and fissionable materials at bargain prices. All sales "as is", lingering radiation on some items. Buyer pays delivery expenses."
"Fat balding smelly lazy repulsive unemployed WM oaf seeks voluptuous female love slave to fetch beer, change channels, pick up dirty clothes, and suck toes."
"For Rent: Six-room hated apartment."
"For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar."
"For Sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers."
"For Sale - Diamonds $20; microscopes $15."
"For Sale - Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy."
"For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex."
"For sale by author, signed copies of my extensive 1,950 page expose of the Kennedy assasination and its connection to sunspot activity."
"For sale by owner, Encyclopedia Britannica, excellent condition. No longer needed. Husband knows everything."
"For sale to kind master. Full grown domesticated tigress, goes daily walk untied, and eats flesh from hand."
"Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover."