Cellar Scribblings

[CellarDweller]

I was at a cocktail party and a former co-worker wanted to shake my hand... he kept reaching his hand out to shake hands, but I couldn't get my arm to function or move to engage in shaking hands.  I kept looking down at my arm, which was like dead weight, and wondering why it wouldn't behave like normal.  Strange! 

yeah, that's different....hmmmm   wonder what it means?

[Brown Eyes]

Have you ever tried keeping a systematic dream journal?  I've heard it can be very interesting, but I've never tried it myself.

[CellarDweller]

I have to admit, no, I've never done that.

[dejavu]

with my luck, that would translate into a dream where I'm being eaten alive by overgrown wildflowers.

   

You never know, Chuck!  They might be monsters!

    

[CellarDweller]

Poor kitty Blaze is not a happy camper today.

Went to his litter box, and found he had the runs.  Well, it's gotten to the point that the poor guy can't make it to the litterbox.  He'll be sitting, get up to go to the box, but not make it, then meows in a panic, and runs off and cleans himself.

He has an appointment for tomorrow.  We've filled his bowls with water, and only given him dry food for dinner.

[CellarDweller]

Hiya BetterMost friends!!!!

Happy Tuesday!

Hope that everyone is welll!!!!

[CellarDweller]

Well, lemme give you a Blaze update.




Blaze had gone to the litterbox this morning, and all was normal.  So on the basis of that, dad cancelled the appointment.


BIG MISTAKE.

Dad stepped out, and mom was in the living room with Blaze.

To put it politely, Blaze exploded.  All over the couch, and carpet.  Thankfully, they're dark colored, and mom got it cleaned up quickly.

She and dad got him into the cat carrier, and took him to the vet.

When the opened the cat carrier, Blaze refused to come out of the case.  When they managed to get him out, he hunched his back, fluffed out his tail, and growled.

The nurse grabbed him by the back of the neck.  Blaze in turn stood up on his hind legs, and turned and scratched her.  She let him go, and he turned and pooped and peed all over the table.

Vet:  "hmmmm.......that's an odd color stool."



They tried to catch him and take his temperature, he let out a howl and hiss.

Vet:  "I don't think I'll take his temperature."

Mom:  "I think he should get his claws trimmed."

Vet:  "Yeah....I don't think so."



They managed to corner him, and give him two shots.  One an antibacterial, and one for the diarrhea.


Vet:  "well, he's still eating, has a healthy appetite, and as we all saw, he has plenty of strength.  I don't think it's anything major, but we'll run some tests.  It's probably just a bug.  If he continues to go like he did here, you'll have to bring him back.  I hope the shot works, I need recovery time."



 

[Katie77]

Well, to use a pun.......it really does sound like Blaze has got the SHITS with the world.

(I hope the medication worked)

[Katie77]

I have posted this before......but after reading about Blaze's trip to the Vet, I have to post it again........

Giving pills to cats and dogs
 
 
CATS:

 

1.   Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

 

2.   Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

 

3.   Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.  Put band aid on left thumb.

 

4.   Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

 

5.   Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

 

6.   Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

 

7.   Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

 

8.   Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

 

9.   Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Throw pieces of towel in garbage.

 

10.  Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

 

11.  Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

 

12.  Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

 

13.  Tie the little ****'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. Pray vigorously while performing all steps.

 

14.  Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

 

     15.  Arrange for Cat Rescue to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet

     shop to see if they have any hamsters or fish.

 

 

DOGS:

 

    1.   Wrap it in bacon or slice of luncheon meat.

 



 

[CellarDweller]