Cellar Scribblings

[injest]

You know I didn't mean Bettermost. I love Bettermost. I was talking about work. And Monika that is not a very nice thing to say to me 

awww...{{{Jack}}}

we love you!! we DO!

[CellarDweller]

Hiya BetterMost friends!!!!

Got to work today on time with no incidents! 

And it's Thursyday arleady! 

[Katie77]

Morning Chucky......hope you have a good Thursday.

[optom3]

Chucky, heres some advice on how to give your cats medication........

Giving pills to cats and dogs
 
 
CATS:

 

1.   Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

 

2.   Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

 

3.   Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.  Put band aid on left thumb.

 

4.   Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

 

5.   Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

 

6.   Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

 

7.   Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

 

8.   Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

 

9.   Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Throw pieces of towel in garbage.

 

10.  Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

 

11.  Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

 

12.  Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

 

13.  Tie the little ****'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. Pray vigorously while performing all steps.

 

14.  Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

 

     15.  Arrange for Cat Rescue to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet

     shop to see if they have any hamsters or fish.

 

 

DOGS:

 

    1.   Wrap it in bacon or slice of luncheon meat.

 



 

That was as funny to read as a good 10 minutes of Billy Connolly.  My mum had to have a tetanus and stitches in her finger after trying to give one of their cats a pill. It got so bad, they trudged back to the vet each evening and paid him a small fee to administer the dose !
With my dogs as the article says, stick pill in small piece of meat, job done.

[optom3]

Gee Chucky.......even as a straight woman, I got a little "tingle" looking at those pics.

Maybe I was a gay man in a former life.....

Ditto, thank god it is not just me.

[Lynne]

Happy Thursday, Chuckie.

Thanks for the phone call the other night.  It really helped to talk with you.  You're a good listener and a good friend.

See you in a week or so.

Love,
Lynne

[Jeff Wrangler]

Watch out Chucky.......Jess is headin this way with a shovel full of horse shit......

As if this were something new. ...   

[CellarDweller]

Oh guys!!!

did you know that some BetterMost members are participating in the AIDS Walk in Boston?




You can support us by clicking this link!


http://www.aac.org/site/TR/Events/AWB08?px=1589770&pg=personal&fr_id=1080&et=r90jgEXe1l-v4PYJUluF7g..&s_tafId=9970

When the page opens, just click "Support Lynne" (she's the team captian) and follow the instructions!

[CellarDweller]

Hiya BetterMost friends!!!!

Welcome to Friday!

Hope everyone has cool plans for the weekend!

[CellarDweller]

Hiya guys!

Just wanted to give an update on Blaze.

Vet called Tuesday, and said that his blood tests were normal.  The x-rays however, seem to indicate Blaze has Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  We at least now have a diagnosis about what the problem is.

The vet has suggested that we bring Blaze back for an endoscopy (I think that's how it's spelled) and try new food.  Mom is up for the new food, however, Blaze hates the vet, and she thinks he's been there too much in recent times, and that it would only further traumatize him, so we're going to see what managing his diet entails, and how he responds.

We've added an extra litter box on the 2nd floor, and for the past 3 days, and limited his food intake to certain times of the day, instead of leaving food for him to munch on all day.

For the past 3 days, there have been no accidents.