Author Topic: Keeping BetterMost Alive...  (Read 9921 times)

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« on: May 13, 2006, 01:59:52 pm »
I am starting to plan strategies for BetterMost for the upcoming summer season to keep the site evolving and interesting for users, new and old.  We'll always be dealing with Brokeback Mountain - it's the one thing we all have in common.  But I also am aware that this site will need to always be working on new projects and ideas to make it interesting enough to come back to month after month.

I am always interested in receiving ideas and suggestions about new things we could offer, or ways to improve the site.  What makes BetterMost somewhat different from the other fan sites out there is our emphasis on social networking and personal development.  We're not just about the film itself, but more about the people who were affected by it.  So BetterMost needs to be a place people can visit to talk about anything they want to talk about with people they have built friendships with.

If you have ideas, please share them.  We don't anticipate becoming the next MySpace, but we're not going to stand still and stagnate either.  :)
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Offline newyearsday

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2006, 02:07:18 pm »
Hey Phillip, this is sort of along the lines of suggestions and improvements, but just wondering if you saw the PM I sent you a while back (a week or so ago) about little aesthetic things to do to make the site a little more easy and visually pleasing to use. Thoughts? Responses?

But I am glad you are bringing up this topic. I know it's been on my mind too somewhat lately, esp. how I can contribute more to the depth here...it  is something I have on a back burner, to be brought to a front burner when a few other projects are under control/finished.

« Last Edit: May 13, 2006, 02:08:56 pm by newyearsday »
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Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2006, 08:01:28 pm »
I love the idea of this space evolving.  I will think on this for sure.  Appreciation once again for all you do, Phillip.
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Offline Two_mules

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2006, 09:12:09 pm »
  We're not just about the film itself, but more about the people who were affected by it.  So BetterMost needs to be a place people can visit to talk about anything they want to talk about with people they have built friendships with.

That is such a refrershing attitude, Phillip. One community I was a member of was driven off a message board because the guy running it didn't like the way we made it a community. He decreed that (for example) wishing each other happy birthday was off topic. We upped and left.
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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2006, 09:21:21 pm »
I like the community idea as long as it is related to the original subject of Brokeback Mountain, whether it is the movie of the Annie Proulx short story.

But, I see a lot of stuff that has absolutely no connection whatsoever with the topics brought up in the story or movie. And the fact that some of the graphics, meaning posted pics, keeps being reposted AND reposted in member's replies and takes up broadband width space.

I am not a fan of any of the actors in the movie and their real lives don't even seem to be very much related to the AP story anyway. I do like what they did in the movie and should be commended for that. I have known and/or met several people who were in Hollywood's show business and they were just common folk and easy to talk to.

Offline Sheyne

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2006, 11:03:17 pm »

I'll have a muse on this too, Phillip. I mean, yes, we came here originally to talk about Brokeback Mountain but - and I'm directing this to TJ mostly - but it was always going to be inevitable that we would exhaust our regular discussions about the movie and start to talk about other things.  This is not a bad thing.  BBM was just our meeting point. It was the catalyst that created this community and now its to the point where we're going to start branching off into other topics.

I'm extremely grateful for your forward-thinking attitude, Phillip. I don't want to see our watering hole dry up neither - I love coming here - I come here now for the people as well as the conversation.

We'll see what we can all come up with together.

 :)
Chut up!

Offline newyearsday

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2006, 11:39:21 pm »
Sheyne!! I love your sig line--LOVE it! And yes, we are a community now (like it or not!) I love it, and I think one of the advantages of that is that hopefully, we feel safe to go even deeper in revealing and exploring what this movie can teach us about life and how to live it. (Right Keren?)

Jenny
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Offline maggiesmommy GayLee

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2006, 11:59:28 pm »
I think this is a wonderful idea...we can encourage each other, remensce (sp?) about the movie, go back to it as a reference point...have a WATCH IT AGAIN day, then all get together and see what it said to us that was different or deeper..lots of ways to share our lives, struggles, joys and still connect to BBM...as a matter of fact, who I AM now is because of BBM.... so anytime I post here it is all about BBM...
I celebrate your wisdom and protective spirit....you're awsome...
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2006, 12:30:47 am »
Hey Phillip, this is sort of along the lines of suggestions and improvements, but just wondering if you saw the PM I sent you a while back (a week or so ago) about little aesthetic things to do to make the site a little more easy and visually pleasing to use. Thoughts? Responses?

Yes, I have it and I turned it over to John who is trying to learn more about this software and what can be modified and what cannot.  I have been tweaking things to make it as easy as possible to navigate around here, including increasing the number of posts per page, etc.  My technical skills at modifying the code that makes the software work isn't good enough, so I have to wait on John.  I have kept your PM in my box so it's on the list.

That is such a refrershing attitude, Phillip. One community I was a member of was driven off a message board because the guy running it didn't like the way we madeit a community. He decreed that (for example) wishing each other happy birthday was off topic. We upped and left.

Let's face it.  If we weren't a community building something special with one another, why would people keep coming back night after night.  It's not all about the movie.  I'd like to see lots more general topics grow in forums like Anything Goes.  The movie provokes many of us to do something different in our lives, and this site should always provide a place for updates, no matter what it is you are working on in your life.  I have been trying to wish people Happy Birthday myself when I see it on the calendar.  Heck, I've started congratulating people whenever I see they have achieved a cool number of posts.  One of our great users here hit the big 500 yesterday.  It's a great achievement.

I like the community idea as long as it is related to the original subject of Brokeback Mountain, whether it is the movie of the Annie Proulx short story.

But, I see a lot of stuff that has absolutely no connection whatsoever with the topics brought up in the story or movie. And the fact that some of the graphics, meaning posted pics, keeps being reposted AND reposted in member's replies and takes up broadband width space.

TJ, there will always be a place for these discussions here.  We haven't even seen the pay cable viewers hit here yet, and they'll be coming with the same questions and thoughts we had back in January.  But life is about change and evolving and growth.  Annie Proulx encouraged us to finish the story in our own lives, and that is what a lot of us are doing.  I am doing it myself personally.  If I confined my comments exclusively to the movie, I'd have burned out by now.  The movie is a catalyst for changes in my own personal life.  I started this site to help me build confidence that I could launch something meaningful and it would be useful, not just to me, but to others.  I am working towards other projects as well.

The movie discussion forums continue, and unlike some forums which delete messages after say 30 days, a lot of the remarkable threads here will be here as long as this site is.  Don't worry about the bandwidth and the site space taken up by the informal discussions here.  The entire site can still easily fit on a CD-ROM and still have a ton of space left over.

And to everyone, I agree that as time passes, we are going to keep coming back to the movie, as well as exploring new remarkable things we encounter in our lives and journeys forward.  And I'm sure Annie Proulx herself has some remarkable stories we can explore in the days ahead as well!
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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2006, 01:40:01 am »
Phillip,

Some of my comments here are related to the fact that some of the people posting the stuff which seems a way off from Brokeback Mountain AND that the only connection of Brokeback Mountain and their lives is they took time to see the movie.

Many also seem to misunderstand what Annie Proulx meant with so many of her Wyoming expressions.

But, so many things in the story and the movie, including the dialog or conversations, remind me of my own live and people in my life.

Roland made a comment, in a PM, if I remember correctly, about people from the rural Midwest. Well, in my grade school, high school and college history classes, we were taught that Midwest was EAST of the Mississippi River and North of the Mason-Dixon Line. And states just west of the Mississippi were the West.

In the polls section, I created a poll for people to let others know where in the West of the USA on the East side of the Rockies members live or have lived. I did add "Idaho" as an after thought do to the fact that a friend wanted to include that, too. I have been to Idaho.

Offline Ray

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2006, 02:03:38 am »
Phillip, Fast or slow, I love the direction you're headed.  I stopped talking about the film/story/book/screen play itself some time ago, and as I have written in previous threads, the people who have congregated because of the film are my fascination now.  These people become more real and more important daily.  I love that you see this too and strive to become more than your forum.  BBM was a catalyst for change and for finding people we didn't even know existed, and for trying out our newly learned perspective on the world with understanding and without judgement, and for simply being happy that we are not experiencing difficulties all alone.  We have a wonderful community here and your vision to support that beyond the 'credits' is exactly what most of us hope for.  The movie Brokeback Mountain opened my mind, you people have filled it.  I am happy to progress with you.
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Offline Two_mules

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2006, 06:11:05 am »
Some of my comments here are related to the fact that some of the people posting the stuff which seems a way off from Brokeback Mountain AND that the only connection of Brokeback Mountain and their lives is they took time to see the movie.

You seem to imply that some posters are more worthy than others, TJ. I've not posted a lot on the film in this community, but that's because I did all my discussing, pre- and post-film, on LiveJournal. As long as there are places to discuss the film at BetterMost, I can't see why you would object to off-topic forums. I've been active  in another fandom for 5 years, we still talk about our shared passion, but over five years you need other topics of conversation to sustain the friendships.
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Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #12 on: May 14, 2006, 06:49:33 am »

Phillip, Fast or slow, I love the direction you're headed.  I stopped talking about the film/story/book/screen play itself some time ago, and as I have written in previous threads, the people who have congregated because of the film are my fascination now.  These people become more real and more important daily.  I love that you see this too and strive to become more than your forum.  BBM was a catalyst for change and for finding people we didn't even know existed, and for trying out our newly learned perspective on the world with understanding and without judgement, and for simply being happy that we are not experiencing difficulties all alone.  We have a wonderful community here and your vision to support that beyond the 'credits' is exactly what most of us hope for.  The movie Brokeback Mountain opened my mind, you people have filled it.  I am happy to progress with you.


Wow!  Ditto everything!
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Offline maggiesmommy GayLee

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2006, 11:53:13 am »
Ray,
YOU are the best thing that has happened to me since i first saw BBM...this board brought you and the other fantastic people here into my life. You helped me on an especially bad, vunerable day..you were there, you invited me to the chat room, you talked to me and the others there did too, and before long i felt so much better...i have taken your positive, encouraging attitude with me every day since...BBM changed my life, but YOU and people like you have madt it live in me...You have PM'd me just to say hi, to ask how i am feeling and to tell te to have a good day...that is friendship and human compassion, personified....that is what this board can mean to us...it is the perfect segway to living the life that BBM inspired in a different way in each of us....
I am SO looking forward to the new viewers...i will get my chance to "be there" for them, united with all of you, my new BBM family....some peopl poo-poo the idea of cyber friendship...they are WORNG!!! I have had more support here on this board than i have had with face to face friendships...something about being a bit anomoyous that helps us open up on a level we never would othersiwe....
ok..i have posted x2 here about the same subject, but i can't say enough how much BetterTHANmost means to me..
and you Ray....wow....i just love you, friend...
gaylee   


Phillip, Fast or slow, I love the direction you're headed.  I stopped talking about the film/story/book/screen play itself some time ago, and as I have written in previous threads, the people who have congregated because of the film are my fascination now.  These people become more real and more important daily.  I love that you see this too and strive to become more than your forum.  BBM was a catalyst for change and for finding people we didn't even know existed, and for trying out our newly learned perspective on the world with understanding and without judgement, and for simply being happy that we are not experiencing difficulties all alone.  We have a wonderful community here and your vision to support that beyond the 'credits' is exactly what most of us hope for.  The movie Brokeback Mountain opened my mind, you people have filled it.  I am happy to progress with you.
It is not the Number of Breaths We Take that number our days
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Offline Pipedream

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2006, 12:33:41 pm »
Phillip, thank you so much for making this site such a great place and for letting it live, prosper and devellop!  :-*

= aside = 

TJ, I know that name-calling is forbidden on here, but this time I just can't help it: what a smart-ass you are! Of course, the German word for it sounds much more impressive: Klugscheißer. Why don't you just not read the posts you find annoying?   


« Last Edit: May 14, 2006, 02:40:47 pm by Pipedream »

Offline serious crayons

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #15 on: May 14, 2006, 03:50:05 pm »
Why don't you just not read the posts you find annoying?   

I find that strategy works really well for me! Well, there are only a few posts I find out-and-out annoying. But like everyone else, I find some more interesting than others. My solution has been to read the ones I like, and skip the ones I don't.

Phillip, my vote would be to let anyone talk about pretty much anything they want to, so long as others are not offended. Much as I hate to admit it, there may eventually come a day when our interest in discussing the movie itself will start to fade (it hasn't yet, has it? HAS IT?). I hope that even then, people here will still be interested in talking to each other. So I'm all in favor of whatever works to sustain those connections.

Gaylee, I like your idea of a Watch it Again Day!

Offline Shuggy

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #16 on: May 14, 2006, 07:19:07 pm »
Phillip, thank you so much for making this site such a great place and for letting it live, prosper and devellop!  :-*

= aside = 

TJ, I know that name-calling is forbidden on here, but this time I just can't help it: what a smart-ass you are! Of course, the German word for it sounds much more impressive: Klugscheißer. Why don't you just not read the posts you find annoying?   



On the techie side, I find this an extremely navigable, flexible site with heaps of useful features. Most amazingly, it doesn't have an Ignore button and I've never missed it! On the human side, I find the people here very open and friendly: it IS a community, and a growing and developing one. Bravo, Philip for your plans to keep it so!

=aside=
Pipedream, please cut TJ some slack. He's posted his background here: http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=1010.msg22961#msg22961

Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #17 on: May 14, 2006, 10:04:46 pm »
Some of my comments here are related to the fact that some of the people posting the stuff which seems a way off from Brokeback Mountain AND that the only connection of Brokeback Mountain and their lives is they took time to see the movie.

Really TJ, sometimes you are too much.  The hypocrisy and double-standards reflected in this statement astound me.
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2006, 10:26:58 pm »
Some of my comments here are related to the fact that some of the people posting the stuff which seems a way off from Brokeback Mountain AND that the only connection of Brokeback Mountain and their lives is they took time to see the movie.

I don't think that is a fair comment.  There are a ton of users on here who have posted 700+ messages on this system, even more than I have (I write long, wordy messages so it takes me longer).  I'd say I could make a million bucks if I bottled the enthusiasm people have for this movie and called it Obsession BBM: The Unisex Fragrance for the Outdoor Type. :) The setting is a part of the film, but for those of us who weren't alive in 1963 and have never been to Wyoming in their lives, we *still* got it, trust me.

Quote
But, so many things in the story and the movie, including the dialog or conversations, remind me of my own live and people in my life.

I don't doubt this for a second.  But I wouldn't question other people who can legitimately say the same thing.  For me, I have an Ennis-type friend in my own life, and there is a user on here who can relate to Ennis quite a bit - he's starting to go through some of the same things Ennis did and he lives in Idaho, which isn't exactly the most tolerant state around.

The impact I felt personally was not as much related to the specific characters, although I saw traits of both Jack and Ennis in me and around me, but rather to the theme of missed opportunities and questioning what I was allowing to slip away in my own life.  I *got* the film and it impacted me enough to provoke me to start this site.

I say this to you with respect and kindness - I really do want you to be a part of our family here.  But you do not gain respect and friendship by alienating other people on here by dismissing their own heart-felt feelings and interpretations about the film and its meanings.  Remember Annie also said that people finish the story through his or her life experience, prejudices, world view and thoughts.

I don't think she could tell us to pick up what she is putting down more clearly than she did.  Each of us will take something different from the film and the story.  And if she's okay with that, than so should we all.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2006, 10:28:34 pm by Phillip »
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #19 on: May 16, 2006, 05:09:16 pm »
A bad pun I was told by one of the people I consult with about this site.

Me: On the other side of the ledger, the thing is growing.
Him: Isn't that something Jake said about Heath?



Now that that is out of the way, he also believes BetterMost has plenty of potential to broaden into a social networking site themed on all-things Brokeback but not limited to discussions about the movie itself.  My opinion has always been we gradually revise the theme of the site from "all things Brokeback" to "all the things in our lives that Brokeback changed" and that, of course, includes all of the new friends we've made.

So, if users approve, I'd like to start bringing new features into the mix that emphasize community a bit more than just movie.  None of the old stuff will be removed - I just want to consider focusing new stuff more on our lives in general and less on the movie.

Meanwhile, my next big project, which I am going to delegate to someone else to administer for us, is a BetterMost version of the Welcome Wagon.  Active users here would help greet the new folks, show them the ropes, and help encourage their participation.  I never want any part of this site to be a "clique" where outsiders have to fight their way in.  Having new people welcomed into the discussions will help bring new folks into our many discussions.  I envision one administrator of the program with a team of volunteers who will see new folks register for the system and send them a PM welcoming them and offering to guide their journey on here.

We only have around 50 regular posters on here with 354 members.  I'm sure some of the 354 were one time visitors who either moved on or didn't find the site a good fit and that is fine, but I'm sure there are lurkers out there who would probably join in if they felt more invited to do so.

I like the fact we remain the small-town feel forum out there.

Let me know your thoughts.

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Offline Kelda

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2006, 06:06:23 pm »
all sounds amazing Mr P!! Loving your work! ;D
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Offline RouxB

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2006, 06:20:31 pm »
Thanks from me as well Phillip. I realized about a week ago that I was, while still pretty obsessed with all things Brokeback Mountain, really more obsessed with this forum and all the friends I've made here. My peeps still think I'm crazy but I don't plex about it. I feel as though I've been given a gift (oh Celeste!) that just continues to grow (Ray my love) and multiply (my crazy tent buddies and the ever-present Chris). To keep this fresh and growing is to keep me growing. As long as we don't forget our roots-because I am nowhere near ready to let go of the Mountain, I look forward to seeing your plans made reality. Just as long as I can say "whoa" if you get rid a them beans!


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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2006, 06:26:15 pm »
Responding to your original post, it seems to me like the board is quite lively lately. New things seem to spring up. I'm very interested in the BBM get-togethers; fighting discriminatory legislation; reviewing new media, movies, and books; finding out where film festivals and art houses are bringing back the movie; and, as always, discussing the movie and story.

I've been reading about online communities such as Facebook and I think that BetterMost is an excellent example of such a community. Every once in a while someone gets bent out of shape over something and that may set us back while we mull over the problem but we torque back into our original positions fairly fast.
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Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #23 on: May 16, 2006, 06:39:51 pm »

So, if users approve, I'd like to start bringing new features into the mix that emphasize community a bit more than just movie.  None of the old stuff will be removed - I just want to consider focusing new stuff more on our lives in general and less on the movie.


APPROVED!!!!!!!
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Offline serious crayons

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #24 on: May 16, 2006, 06:48:25 pm »
Responding to your original post, it seems to me like the board is quite lively lately. New things seem to spring up. I'm very interested in the BBM get-togethers; fighting discriminatory legislation; reviewing new media, movies, and books; finding out where film festivals and art houses are bringing back the movie; and, as always, discussing the movie and story.

I've been reading about online communities such as Facebook and I think that BetterMost is an excellent example of such a community. Every once in a while someone gets bent out of shape over something and that may set us back while we mull over the problem but we torque back into our original positions fairly fast.

Were you reading that Facebook piece in the New Yorker, Lee? So was I, just today! And it reminded me of us, too, only on a much larger scale, of course. I think what Phillip calls our small-town feel makes it especially fun.

I am still obsessed with the movie, so I'm hoping we still keep finding things to say about it. But I also feel really lucky to be part of this community. What a fun and unusual experience! Often when I'm not thinking about the movie I am thinking about people here, your various unique personalities, how I'm starting to develop really strong images of each person even if my concrete information is still patchy. So thanks for everything, Phillip!


Offline maggiesmommy GayLee

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #25 on: May 16, 2006, 10:14:48 pm »
APPROVE....APPROVE....APPROVE....APPROVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just awstruck at the dedication Phip hass brought to all of us and this board...he IS the MAN!!!!

Hi Ruby...Ray...everyone!! hope to get back to the chat room...SOON...maybe even tonight!!

GAYLEE
It is not the Number of Breaths We Take that number our days
Rather the Moments that Take our Breath Away

Offline chefjudy

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Re: Keeping BetterMost Alive...
« Reply #26 on: May 17, 2006, 01:50:16 pm »
 :) I keep trying to remember what I was doing this time last year and am drawing a blank - it feels like a lot longer than it actually is since I first came on this board - it's so nice to have a second home.............. :D
Judy


"it could be like this, just like this, always......" Jack Twist