Author Topic: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?  (Read 9051 times)

Offline Nikita111

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Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« on: December 12, 2007, 07:18:22 am »
I am 26 years old and year ago my Dad (53) was diagnosed with bladder cancer. It has been year and two months and he went to 5 surgeries and that tumors were coming back. Until now the results were for the first time negative. I hope, I pray even though I am atheist I thank God or some other higher power for this gift. Well, you never know for how long things stays okay so it learnt us to value each moment and not waste precious time with fights, regrets, blames and those stupid things.

But it also learnt me about my own mortality and I became very vulnerable at that time. Being 26 and thinking of death  was a certain hell for me but I went through. Well, not unharmed. I still have a fear of death but I hope that one day it will lower a bit.

This illness is so ugly. In my country so many people got ill with cancer. It seems like it is everywhere.

 >:(

And the dying of it must be one of the worst.

injest

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2007, 08:27:47 am »
Nikita, I am so happy for you that your fathers' tests are negative. that had to be a difficult thing for you to go through.

 :)

and what a nice 'gift' here at the holidays. I hope you and your father have many holidays before you.

What country do you live in?

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2007, 08:50:34 am »
I'm so sorry for your father's diagnoses.  Cancer is not easy to live with.  My mother was diagnosed when I was 15 years old.  She was in remission for a while, then it came back, back into remission, cancer came back, back into remission, ...it's been a rollercoaster ride my entire life.

Two years ago my sister was diagnosed with the same cancer and of course, now the bullseye is centered on me, since it's now very obvious how hereditary this cancer is in my immediate family.

So far, I'm cancer - free, but I can't count on that lasting.

It changes your life.  And if it's bad for you, imagine how it is to actually have the disease.   :(
I'm trying to enjoy my life now...before anything happens, you know?

It makes you appreciate what is good in life and makes you very impatient with what is little and petty.  Makes you keep things in perspective.

Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2007, 03:25:27 pm »
Nikita - welcome. Cancer is a horrible illness. It cuts so many people in their prime - but for those that get through it - it gives many a new lease of life - reminding them that life is short and theyve got to use the tme they have. Perhaps thats the silver lining of the cloud to those who live through cancer.
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Offline Nikita111

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2007, 03:58:16 pm »
Nikita, I am so happy for you that your fathers' tests are negative. that had to be a difficult thing for you to go through.

 :)

and what a nice 'gift' here at the holidays. I hope you and your father have many holidays before you.

What country do you live in?


 I live in the Czech Republic. It is former Czechoslovakia for American folks. ;D

Yeah, I must say he was never sick. he worked the whole time and once in two-three months he had surgery. then they gave him chemotheraphy but only a local one straight to his bladder. It burnt but it probably helped. I hope so. I pray so.

 ;)

Offline Nikita111

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2007, 04:10:06 pm »
Dear Delalluvia, such a heartbreaking story of yours. I am sorry about your mother and you to have witnessed her fight since your age of 15!?! And I selfishly thought that I am too young for my parents to pass . . . that I am not able to accept their death.

What I agree with that you should chill and not thinking about you might have it or not. Well, I don't believe much in genetic origin of cancer. maybe it is naive of me but I read stories about a psychological background of cancer, of injustice. That had happen to my Dad. He was was betrayed by his friend and lost his job and in 53 he was supposed to start again from nothing. he could not accept it, had huge harm and conflict inside of him and that life experience I believe are the starters for tumors. You might have dispositions from your family but your life journey is the main trigger for this illness. I guess. 

Well, now when his conditions is stable at the moment, he talks to that friend again, bulit himself a new proffesional life and he happens to find peace inside, so taht is why I believe now the results were good. Naive, maybe.

injest

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2007, 08:50:11 am »
Dear Delalluvia, such a heartbreaking story of yours. I am sorry about your mother and you to have witnessed her fight since your age of 15!?! And I selfishly thought that I am too young for my parents to pass . . . that I am not able to accept their death.

What I agree with that you should chill and not thinking about you might have it or not. Well, I don't believe much in genetic origin of cancer. maybe it is naive of me but I read stories about a psychological background of cancer, of injustice. That had happen to my Dad. He was was betrayed by his friend and lost his job and in 53 he was supposed to start again from nothing. he could not accept it, had huge harm and conflict inside of him and that life experience I believe are the starters for tumors. You might have dispositions from your family but your life journey is the main trigger for this illness. I guess. 

Well, now when his conditions is stable at the moment, he talks to that friend again, bulit himself a new proffesional life and he happens to find peace inside, so taht is why I believe now the results were good. Naive, maybe.

well stress does cause  physical symptoms....

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2007, 07:48:33 pm »
Stress certainly doesn't help, I'm sure and neither does having a negative attitude, that's been proven.

However, my educational background is in the biological sciences, so I'm not onboard with stress causing cancer.  If it did, everyone who has ever been in a war or in prison or suffered in natural disasters or lived in horrible circumstances would be coming down with the disease...but they don't.

Offline Kerry

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2007, 11:50:47 pm »

I lost both my parents to cancer.

My Dad was a country boy who smoked from an early age. When he was in his late 50s, he went into hospital to have a small cyst removed from his eye. It required a general anaesthetic and he had to fast prior to the aperation. Smoking was not allowed. When he ate his first meal after the operation, he declared that he had never tasted anything so good in his life and vowed he would never smoke again. And he never did. Though he was free of cancer at that time, the wretched disease had already grabbed hold of him and 10 years later, at age 69, he died of lung cancer.

I was 27 at the time of his death and I experienced a great deal of rage and hatred of cigarette companies following my Dad's death. I blamed them and held them responsible for his death. It was 1977 and lots of people smoked back then. There was no real anti-smoking lobby to speak of. I seemed to be the only one who wanted smoking banned. My how times have changed.

It wasn't just that I'd lost my Dad. My mother also lost her husband. My Mum and Dad were a real Darby & Joan couple who lived for each other. They were inseparable. It took Mum a long time to recover from my Dad's death. In many ways, she never did fully recover. The month of May, when Dad died, was always a bad time of year for Mum.

In 1991, at age 80, cancer took my Mum from me. She had been diagnosed with inoperable bowel cancer. I was sitting by her bed, holding her hand, when she passed away.

I can put Dad's lung cancer down to his smoking and therefore hope there's no genetic connection. However, I fear there may be a genetic weakness with my Mum's bowel cancer, that could impact on me. Mum was always a very healthy eater who loved fruit and vegetables. One wouldn't expect her to be a candidate for bowel cancer. My doctor sends me off to the specialist for a colonoscopy ever three years, because of my family history.
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Offline Nikita111

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2007, 06:18:59 am »
Dear Kerry, I really thank you for sharing. It seems like this disease affects lives of everyone. And I no longer think that I am the only one.

I am so sorry to hear your story. I too have the badfeelings about having bad family anamnesis. My grandpa from Daddy's side died of prostate cancer and he smoked his whole life. Than there is my Dad having bladder cancer. Hopefully in remission. And he never smoked in his life. Doctors told him that this specific type of cancer, in bladder is caused by smoking.  ??? my grandma from Mother's side had bowel cancer and metastasis in liver.

OK, my views are quite nice.....

Offline Katness

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2008, 02:23:40 am »
Both my grandmother's died of cancer. My Mum's Mum had a cancerous tumor in her stomach. Like I said in my blog thread. My Dad's Mum had lung cancer.

It is an ugly disease.

Sincerely, Kat.
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Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2008, 12:01:19 pm »
Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers.
He has colon cancer and though it was caught early the treatments aren't helping.
He is very sick and his hemeglobin has gotten very low.
They are starting some experimental medications next week.
Thank you all.  :-*
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Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2008, 01:28:50 pm »
Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers.
He has colon cancer and though it was caught early the treatments aren't helping.
He is very sick and his hemeglobin has gotten very low.
They are starting some experimental medications next week.
Thank you all.  :-*


 :(

Sorry to hear that, Richard. ...
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2008, 01:29:41 pm »


      you know i will sweetheart.  i hope beyond all hope that something will finally start to help.
Life is shit sometimes.  This seems to be one of those times.

                                     

                                         



     Beautiful mind

Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2008, 04:36:41 pm »
Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers.
He has colon cancer and though it was caught early the treatments aren't helping.
He is very sick and his hemeglobin has gotten very low.
They are starting some experimental medications next week.
Thank you all.  :-*


(((Richard))))
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Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2008, 04:48:38 pm »
Thanks y'all.
It's pretty scary.
Dad talked about beating it before, then he went to just maintaining now he is saying he just wants to out live my Grandmother.
So Hopefully the experimental stuff will help.
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline BelAir

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2008, 09:25:19 pm »
Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers.
He has colon cancer and though it was caught early the treatments aren't helping.
He is very sick and his hemeglobin has gotten very low.
They are starting some experimental medications next week.
Thank you all.  :-*


will be thinking of you and your family...


---
btw, I think this is a very good thread to have.
" a thirst for life, for love, and for truth..."

Offline Katness

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2008, 03:53:34 am »
Lee,

All the positive energy I have is flowing in your direction.  ;D
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If all is not lost, then where is it?

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2008, 11:28:56 pm »
Thanks Kat and Bel!
I sure appreciate it. :-*
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline Artiste

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #19 on: March 17, 2008, 08:44:47 pm »
How is your father now?

Pray that he is better and better!!

Au revoir,
hugs!

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2008, 08:25:45 am »
Hey Y'all!
Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts!
The new regimine seems to be working on the cancer it is keeping it in check and some of his levels have dropped. However the toll it is taking on  his body is worse. So I guess it's a trade off.
Hopefully he can regain some strength when he gets off this round of treatments.
We should know somthing by Tursday as he goes abck to the Dr Wednesday.
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline Dobie1018

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2008, 01:53:29 pm »
loneleeb, I am sorry to hear about your dad.  My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer in the spring of 2002, but unfortunately the chemo and medication she was taking did not help in the long run.   She passed away in October, 2002.  She was 77 years old.  She lived in Connecticut, and I live here in Florida.  Luckily, I was able to get up to see her at the end of September, 2002 before she passed on.  Me and my sisters knew she didn't have long to go, since Hospice was called in to assist us.  It was probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with in my life.  My dad passed away in 1990 due to some heart disease problems.  You never think of being without your parents, no matter how old you get.   They're always Mom & Dad, and you just take for granted they're always going to be around.  It's a real eye-opener when you realize that both your parents are gone, and you are truly now "on your own" without Mom and/or Dad around to advise you.

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2008, 02:00:20 pm »
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, loneleeb,I can understand what you're going through, to see that the chemo is working, but on the other hand seeing him suffer terribly from it. I'm sending you and your Dad lots of positive and healing energy..... :-*

My sister, who is 34, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma half a year ago and has just undergone her 11th chemo and it's wearing her down, she has lost almost all her hair now and feels tired almost all the time. But she is fighting so hard and I'm so proud of her, we're very positive about a good outcome. She will have her second CT scan at the end of the month, so I hope I can get people from all over the world to keep their fingers crossed for her for the day she gets the results!


Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2008, 02:35:34 pm »
I'm so proud of your dad Lee and your sister Mel, and I dont even know them.

and dobie....  :-*
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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2008, 02:37:10 pm »
I'm so proud of your dad Lee and your sister Mel, and I dont even know them.

and dobie....  :-*

Thank you... *hug*


Offline Dobie1018

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #25 on: March 18, 2008, 02:53:05 pm »
Thanks Kelda!  Snavel, I feel very bad for your sister and your family, going through this with her.  I hope she has excellent results from her CT scan.  My sister had cervical cancer many years ago; had her uterus removed, had chemo & radiation, lost her hair, and had a positively miserable time, had to wear a colostomy bag, but she's been cancer free now for at least 10 years, probably more like 12 or 13 years.  I'm hoping the same results for your sister!

Offline Artiste

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2008, 02:57:46 pm »
I had cancer!

It's NOT funny!

Better to prevent it!

Or stop it at the start!

Keep care,
hugs!

mvansand76

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #27 on: March 18, 2008, 03:14:32 pm »
Thanks Kelda!  Snavel, I feel very bad for your sister and your family, going through this with her.  I hope she has excellent results from her CT scan.  My sister had cervical cancer many years ago; had her uterus removed, had chemo & radiation, lost her hair, and had a positively miserable time, had to wear a colostomy bag, but she's been cancer free now for at least 10 years, probably more like 12 or 13 years.  I'm hoping the same results for your sister!

Thank you for the positive words, Dobie, that really helps. I am sorry to hear about your mother, I have no idea what it would be like to lose your mother. *hug*
Glad to hear that your sister is doing fine now!  :-*

Offline Mandy21

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #28 on: March 18, 2008, 03:27:29 pm »
You never think of being without your parents, no matter how old you get.   They're always Mom & Dad, and you just take for granted they're always going to be around.  It's a real eye-opener when you realize that both your parents are gone, and you are truly now "on your own" without Mom and/or Dad around to advise you.

Hey, Rich, I am sorry you are going through this pain with your father.  And Dobie, God bless, you poor thing.  Truer words were never spoken.  My father was the love of my life, he was diagnosed in front of me with Stage 4 terminal bladder cancer in July 2002, went through chemo and radiation multiple times, threatened to kill himself multiple times cause he was in so much pain, my mom finallly put a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order in place at his last hospital.  I was sitting at my house on the couch November 14, 2006 at 11:35 pm, reading, then I got the strangest creepy feeling that I had to go to him in the hospital.  I got in my car, drove the 7 blocks to my mom's house, told her what I was feeling, asked her if she wanted to go along.  She said no only because she could see I was in a hurry to get there, and she, being 78 at the time, would have needed a while to get out of bed and go somewhere.  I raced out to the hospital in the snow, went thru the emergency room doors up to his room, asked the nurse for a diet Pepsi cause I intended to stay there all night, had a couple sips, then went over to his bedside, 12:15 in the morning on November 15, stroked his white hair with my right hand, held his left land in mine, and whispered in his ear,  "Daddy, it's Mandy. I'm here, and I love you."  He took his last breath at that moment, right there in my arms.  Nurses said he was just waiting to hear those words so he could go on to the next world, happy, peacefully.  My daddy and I were always best friends, and my Mom and brother, they were best friends.  I will live the rest of my life, never knowing if he would have died anyway at 12:15 am that morning all alone, or if it was my words in his ear, comforting him, that put an end to his misery.  My daddy was the dearest man that ever lived.  I've still got my mom, though, thank God.  We watch "Dancing with the Stars" together, new season just started last night.  Losing one of them most definitely makes you thank your lucky stars you've still got one left.  I can't even imagine when they're both gone, how empty life will be...
Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #29 on: March 18, 2008, 04:09:51 pm »
Both of my sisters had breast cancer.

The first time my sister would feel a lump when she would examine herself, but it only appeared during the time of the month her hormones were at their highest. She would make an appointment with the doctor and two weeks later--nothing. Finally they were able to catch it at the right time and did a biopsy. They opted for a modified radical mastectomy and subsequently they decided she needed no further treatment and died in an accident 7 years later with no recurrence.

My other sister had a mammogram one summer and nothing. About 6 month later she detected the lump and went straight to the doctor. When the biopsy was done it was bad. A very aggressive form that had already spread to limp nodes. She had a radical mastectomy the following morning followed by months and months of chemo and years of follow up treatment. She lost her hair, her nails, but was able to rally for her sons wedding.  It has been going on 13 years now with no recurrence, but every little thing sends her into a panic.

Me, I am just waiting. I think it is a matter of time.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline Dobie1018

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #30 on: March 18, 2008, 04:23:50 pm »
Very heart-wrenching story Mandy.  You had me all teary-eyed.  I'm sure your dad knew you were there and was comforted by it.   How wonderful that you were able to be with him at the time he passed away.  My mom was in her own home, which was shared with her by my 2 sisters.  So she passed away peacefully in her sleep in her own bed on October 21, 2002.  When my sister went to check on her on that morning, she found that our mom had passed during the night.  It was a long hard struggle for my mom, as well as for your dad, but I am comforted, as I am sure you are, by the knowledge that our parents are at peace now and feeling no pain or suffering.

Offline Mandy21

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #31 on: March 18, 2008, 04:44:29 pm »
 :)

Thank you for that.  I got all teary-eyed myself just typing it out.
Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...

Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #32 on: March 18, 2008, 04:53:59 pm »
Oh Mandy,  :-*

Cancer really is  one bitch of an unsatisfactory sitution isn't  it?
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Offline Mandy21

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #33 on: March 18, 2008, 04:58:19 pm »
Oh Mandy,  :-*

Cancer really is  one bitch of an unsatisfactory sitution isn't  it?

Ha ha, thanks for making me stop crying.  Yes, cancer certainly is, but what can you do....

 ???
Dawn is coming,
Open your eyes...

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #34 on: March 18, 2008, 04:59:27 pm »
{{{{{{MANDY}}}}}}

{{{{{{TRUMAN}}}}}

Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #35 on: March 19, 2008, 04:26:39 pm »
Ha ha, thanks for making me stop crying.  Yes, cancer certainly is, but what can you do....

 ???

 :-*
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Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #36 on: March 19, 2008, 05:13:07 pm »
Today I learned one of the agents in my office will have to have a double masectomy. I really hate that but like she told me, it could be.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #37 on: March 19, 2008, 10:50:39 pm »
{{{{{{{{{Mandy,Mel,Dobie and TRU}}}}}}}}}}
I know what y'all are goin through and have been through.
WIsh I could hug you all in person.
It helps to know your not alone in your trials and tribulations but lord, I sure hate you people I have come to care about have to deal with it too.
Y'all and your loved ones will be in my thoughts and prayers!  :-*
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline BelAir

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #38 on: March 22, 2008, 05:42:42 pm »
Me, I am just waiting. I think it is a matter of time.

?
" a thirst for life, for love, and for truth..."

Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2011, 03:42:58 pm »
bumping some old threads
http://www.idbrass.com

Please use the following links when shopping online -It will help us raise money without costing you a penny.

http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/idb

http://idb.easysearch.org.uk/