Philip...you ARE a wonder...I tell ya!! Thank you SO very much for what you're doing. I'm soo looking forward to having Idaho here with us. I'm gettin that warm blankie ready for him. Betcha a few 'grandma hugs' would be welcome...huh?
I can tell you he is profoundly touched by everyone who has been thinking about him and mentioned you specifically. In fact, *I* am touched by everyone who have been truly moved by people's stories on here. This coming together is exactly what I was hoping for.
Chris has been
extremely frustrated with being cut off from us. He looked forward to getting online and when his local library's web access went down, it was like being cut off for him. He has choice words for technology in Idaho which you could imagine Ennis using without polite company around. He's very upset by it. We didn't get to talk too long on Friday, which is traditionally my errand day anyway, when we were coordinating the order. But he did say the only reason he showed up here and started posting is because he saw other people opening up and sharing their personal stories too. If other people could do it, he could do it too. Safety in numbers. He was also surprised I slapped my real name and picture up on here which he still thinks is an amazingly brave thing to do. But it's not really because, as I told him, I need as much help and support as everyone else does around here and people aren't psychic - you can't get help unless you are open enough to ask for it. Having my real name and picture up is symbolic of that.
He told me (and said it was fine to share it with everyone here) that he is still very frightened by a lot of the things going on in his head, and he's been tempted to try and run away from all of this and try to go back doing things as before, but as I've told him about my own story, once you open the door and start heading forward, it's next to impossible to go back. You can get stuck halfway through, but you can't just pretend nothing happened.
And it's not just him. I know there are people lurking in here reading this who haven't written a thing who are in the same boat as Idaho. As he himself would tell you, be courageous and take the first step and join the conversation here.
He'll call me when Dell delivers his machine and then I'll work through getting him set up and online and back here. To me, he's needed here just as much as I need everyone else. To not help would be a violation of what this place is all about.
I hate getting all mushy here...but DAMN...feels like the first time...in a very long time...I've found a family. <goofy smile> And with Ennis and Jack....right in the middle of us all.
And you are also a very important part of our family. Your emotional connection with me and everyone else through the forums has been absolutely vital, and I appreciate it very much!