16 Things All Good Republicans Know

[ednbarby]

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international  harmony.
 
3. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N.  resolutions against Iraq.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
 
5. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
 
6. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
 
7. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
 
8. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

9. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart, as do oil companies.

10. Global warming is junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
 
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
 
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
 
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary Clinton's cattle trades, but George W. Bush's driving record is none of our business.
 
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
 
15. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what George W. Bush did in the '80s is  irrelevant.

16. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and then blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail is to be expected.

[slayers_creek_oth]

  ...........even a Republican finds this funny...

[ednbarby]

I think this one is my favorite:

6. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

The sad thing is the hard-core right-wingnuts *really do* believe that.

[slayers_creek_oth]

I think this one is my favorite:

6. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

The sad thing is the hard-core right-wingnuts *really do* believe that.

LOL....ain't that the truth...

[JennyC]

I think this one is my favorite:

6. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

The sad thing is the hard-core right-wingnuts *really do* believe that.

This also reminds me of Bush's ABC approach - Abstinence, Be Faithful/Behavior Change, and (if necessary) use a Condom - on fighting global AIDS.  Why do they have to be so righteous all the time?  The HIV/AIDS epidemic in some Africa countries is so startling, to put emphasis on ABC approach, rather than promoting safe sex, and committing resources really shows their true compassion (yes pun intended).

Hi, are we on to political jokes now?  I found a great website with a lot of politic jokes.  Bet that can give me a head start to get in the Mile High Club .

[isabelle]

I like 11. about Clinton. Reminds me of a button you can get on a funny site called "evolvefish":

"Could someone please give Bush a blow job so we can impeach him?"

[vkm91941]

This also reminds me of Bush's ABC approach - Abstinence, Be Faithful/Behavior Change, and (if necessary) use a Condom - on fighting global AIDS.  Why do they have to be so righteous all the time?  The HIV/AIDS epidemic in some Africa countries is so startling, to put emphasis on ABC approach, rather than promoting safe sex, and committing resources really shows they true compassion (yes pun intended).

Hi, are we on to political jokes now?  I found a great website with a lot of politic jokes.  Bet that can give me a head start to get in the Mile High Club .

Jenny you should start a thread for politcal jokes if you want.  I'm sure lots of folks would play along

[JennyC]

I like 11. about Clinton. Reminds me of a button you can get on a funny site called "evolvefish":

"Could someone please give Bush a blow job so we can impeach him?"

For Isabelle:

[JennyC]

Jenny you should start a thread for politcal jokes if you want.  I'm sure lots of folks would play along

Gee, Vicky, I don't want people to say that we never talk about Brokeback Mountain on BetterMost  .

Barb started, so she should have the honor to start the political jokes thread .  We have already got some under the BBM Line Visualized thread.

[isabelle]

For Isabelle:

HAHAHA, Jenny, is that sign there for real? I'll join the Baptist church if it is!

[vkm91941]

[isabelle]

If you go to this website http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/, you can create your own church sign, too.



There is a First Assembly of God in Riverton, Wyoming.

Pheww... You got me out of an uncomfortable promise there! You see, whenever I enter a church, the walls start shaking, the windows shatter, my eyes turn fluorescent green and my gums start receding... I never tried a Mosque, but I'm sure it would explode a soon as I slipped a shoeless toe through the door.
Mind you, that promise would've come to nowt, since the Baptist Church is virtually unknown in France, and there is certainly none to join where I live. Again, phew, I say.

[isabelle]

I thought this might be the right place for it:

The caption goes:"I am living proof that the Intelligent Design theory is valid".

[vkm91941]

[vkm91941]

[slayers_creek_oth]

ROFLOL....

[vkm91941]

notable quotes...

McCain argued on the Senate floor that there are "far less draconian" remedies, including the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act

He said if the U.S. Supreme Court strikes down the Defense of Marriage Act or "state remedies to judicial activism fail," then amending the federal Constitution might be "appropriate."

"What evidence do we have that states are incapable of further exercising an authority they have exercised successfully for over 200 years?" McCain said.

"We will have to wait a little longer to see if Armageddon has arrived."

[vkm91941]

[slayers_creek_oth]

 

[vkm91941]

[vkm91941]

Now this is just plain WRONG...

[slayers_creek_oth]

Now this is just plain WRONG...

Uh yeah you can say that again! 

[isabelle]

Vick, that HAS to be a joke, right? It has to be, but then you never know!

[vkm91941]

Vick, that HAS to be a joke, right? It has to be, but then you never know!

Well I certainly HOPE so, but you never know.  Stranger things have turned out to be true and some people will do anything for money including preying on the irrational fears of others.

[dly64]

OMG! This thread is cracking me up! More political cartoons, please.

From a loyal Democrat (with a good sense of humor). 

[CoyotePiper]

10. Global warming is junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Ah hah, two of my favorite topics. Whether global warming is junk or not remains to be seen. We Americans see a possible problem, are at least thinking about it, and we are taking steps to address this problem. Look at the reductions in auto, powerplant,and industry smokestack emissions - something like 90% since the early seventies.

The reduction is auto emissions is remarkable. A side benefit is the increase in fuel efficiency.  Heating boilers used to get 45% to 55% heat transferance, if you were lucky. Today 80% and higher is the norm. AC's used to have an EER of 5 perhaps, now they hover around 10. Homes and buildings are are tighter, appliances better, requiring less of that efficiently produced energy.

My opinion is  global warming  is a mix of a natural cycle and greenhouse emissions. I believe it is an addressable problem. It is not the end of the world as so many naysayers would have you believe. I don't believe Antarctica will become a tropical paradise any time soon, nor will Brooklyn find itself under 6 feet of water.

Actually if you read about the geological record Antarctica was once a tropical paradise, so perhaps global warming is a natural cycle of the earth after all.

(and I will leave the interesting intelligent design opinion for another post.)

[ednbarby]

Coyote, have you seen "An Inconvenient Truth"?  I think Al Gore proves that global warming is not junk science and also that we *do* have the power to reverse it.  I urge anyone who is in disbelief/denial about either fact and anyone, like you and me, who realizes global warming is real and an important problem but isn't sure whether anything can be done about it to go see this movie.

[CoyotePiper]

As an optomist, I am of the opinion that any problem can be solved if enough brainpower is applied. I feel it is a negative dead end to wring our collective hands while crying 'woe is upon the human race'. - As the envoirnmental movement so often does.

There appears to be a problem here, lets see what can be done about it. We sit on vast storehouses of human knowledge, insight, engineering prowess, and computing power today. We will use these resources as we always have. In fact we work better when well motivated. And what better motivation than a crisis?

THe human race is growing exponentially,80 million per year, all these people need a place to live, to eat, and presumably to follow a happy life. The real problem with global warming is not found in the US or in the European countries, it is found in exploding populations of Africa, South America, the middle east, and India/Pakistan.

If I could wave a magic wand and tommorow the US was a model of perfect envoirnmental balance, it would have absolutely no effect on global warming. THis is the problem I have with envoirnmental Cassandras like Al Gore, They see a small part of the picture and extrapolate a future of doom,  while ignoring the 500 lb gorilla in the living room.

This thing we call 'nature' or 'the envoirnment' has tremendous wisdom. Nature knows things are out of whack. It knows how many people can reasonably be expected to live on this planet. Nature has no morality and will find an efficient way to keep the population under control. I lay odds on an epidemic like we've never seen before laying waste to this planet long before 1 inch of sea level rise occurs. AIDS? Bird Flu? Something even worse?

And who is to say that global warming is not just another way for 'nature' to deal with the overpopulated earth? Scorch the farmland, drought, too much rain, crop failure, followed by famine and once again the population is, shall we say 'controlled'?

The earth has been here for 4 billion years and it will still be here when the sun goes supernova. We will get a handle on this global warming problem ourselves or nature will most definetly do it for us. As a betting guy, I'd lay odds on our ingenuity and resourcefullness in a crisis.