Thanks optom!
Very, very well detailed and said!!
......
However, I have known some men who have sex with me, often, and never did consider themselves gay!
What about those?
You can answer and others can too,
hugs!
Plenty of those in the English public school system.!!!
I know some men have a very high sex drive and also a desire to experience as much variety as possible within certain constraints.I do not think having gay sex as part of an experience to explore every avenue,per se makes you gay.Plenty of men and women are very adventurous when it comes to sex,but are still fundamentally "straight".I know of one man who has had sex with another man,to test the waters.He has indulged virtually his every whim with regards sex,but is fundamentally straight.
I do think Ennis was gay,it was not just sex.There was a whole and complete realtionship with Jack.
I believe our sexuality as humans is defined by who ever we form a complete bond with.That means sex and love in the same package.I love some of my girlfriends and would do anything for them,but have no desire to have sex with them.Equally I have had sex without love.
When the 2 come together,and remain over time,as happened with Ennis and Jack,therein lies your sexuality.Whether you can accept it,is another matter.
We are all complex beings and the urge to have sex for some is very strong,in cases strong enough at times for it not to matter who the person is.Also for many the urge to push boundaries and experiment is very strong.That goes for sex and of course drugs.We may know that what we are doing is not necessarily right for us,but still we do it.It is like a constant search for the next thrill,invariably because there is something lacking in us or in our lives.
I do not see that with Ennis .I see a deeply repressed gay man who inspite of everything,falls catastrophically in love with another man.He never finds that love with any of the women.It is a bond which only comes when you allow yourself to be who you truly are.
The tragedy for Ennis, is deep down I believe he knows where his sexuality lies,he knows he loves Jack,he knows that he is happiest and most at peace when he is with Jack.He knows from the minute they come down from BBM. He cannot allow himself to be that person all the time though.So instead he lets himself have brief snatches of true happiness and love.
Then goes back,almost as if some form of punishment or attonement,to a life he knows will never fulfill him.He needs no church/god to punish him,he does it for himself, by denying himself.