Heath Ledger - the grieving thread

[malina]

Does anybody else here keep having the experience of going, "WHAT?  HEATH LEDGER WHAT?" practically every single time you see the horrible words?  I have found out the terrible news over and over again, each time new.  Can anyone else understand what I mean?

Hi Clarissa..

It is so surreal.. those words together. I keep having my own variation of that double take.. I look at the words, not just 'dead', but 'grieving', 'funeral'... anything that says 'death'... and I ... oh dear, this is a bit odd,  but I think, what if it was a week ago, say, and I had suddenly flashed forward in time and come onto the boards and seen those words... how shocking it would be.

Okay, that description probably doesn't make much sense. hmm. I guess what I mean is, every time I see the words, they are freshly shocking... almost as if I didn't know... so I flash back to the time when I really didn't know, because it hadn't happened yet, and that seems so recent, and yet so far... way on the other side of some divide.

I look at a pairing of words like "Heath's funeral", and my mind just wants to scream, "WHAT?? How could Heath be having a funeral??"

It is so strange, because I have had people close to me die... several people, and one who was extremely close. But I don't think I've ever been quite as bewildered by a death as I am by this one. That whole "how could this happen?" reaction.

 

How could this happen?

[Meryl]

I can't comprehend the two words together either....it just still seems like it can't be true. When I saw it, it was just like I at first ignored it, almost like it was just something that was being said, but wasn't true. And then I keep feeling this urge to withdraw, cause it just seems like sometimes it has all ended, but I keep saying I have to go on and remember what he gave us, what we have to remember, and that in a very extremely sad way that this is another chapter in the life that the movie and Heath gave us. In some ways it is almost like we have been given another sad tragedy to work ourselves through, to try to figure out, to try and understand somehow. It just seems so ironical that after all these feelings Brokeback Mountain gave us over a tragedy that should have not happened in the movie that we now have to face it in real life. And then to think on top of that we lost Jack (Jake) in the movie and now we loose Heath (Ennis) in real life. Somehow it just seems too surreal. And what makes it even worse is that I don't feel that Heath was happy in his life and then I think about how Ennis was unhappy in his life. It really is a lot to handle.

What Jack said.     

[Kerry]

I've been trying to get my head around why I'm experiencing the level of grief I am right now. Never in my life before have I felt this saddened by the passing of a celebrity, someone I never knew personally. And perhaps that's the nub of it. In a weird, metaphysical kinda way, I do  feel like I knew Heath. No, not because he was a fellow Australian. No, I think the reason I feel this way is because I always felt an extremely close, intimate even, bond with Ennis. With no disrespect to the loving memory of our dear Heath, I think my extreme grief may be coming from the feeling I have that it's Ennis who has died. That it is, in fact, Ennis who I am mourning.

Here's a little farewell gift, just from me to you, little darlin'. Safe journey home, precious one.

[TOoP/Bruce]

I just found this:

[magicmountain]

A tribute from Luke Davies, scriptwriter for Candy.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,23108546-28737,00.html

[Katie77]

 

Once a jolly swagman camped by a Billabong
Under the shade of a Coolabah tree
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled
"Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?"


Australia Day...2008

[Penthesilea]

Does anybody else here keep having the experience of going, "WHAT?  HEATH LEDGER WHAT?" practically every single time you see the horrible words?  I have found out the terrible news over and over again, each time new.  Can anyone else understand what I mean?

Exactly. I know exactly what you mean because it's just the same for me. I can't even bring myself to write those words and Heath' name in one sentence.

[Ellemeno]

I've known the chorus of "Waltzing Matilda" since I was pre-verbal, but don't remember ever noting the verses til tonight.  It's got a sheep integral to the storyline.   

There are many very varied renditions of it on YouTube.  This one was both sweet and explanatory for us non-Australians.

Waltzing Matilda
Tommy Emanuel

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6R1sXdIpUA[/youtube]

It's worth going and looking at some of the other versions on YouTube.  Plenty being sung at rugby (I think it's rugby) matches, and plenty at memorial services too.  It is impossible to not sing along with, and in both the rugby versions and the memorial versions, you can usually catch someone wiping a tear.

[ZK]

I am so sad, I can't read this thread, I am so indebted to Heath for BBM and unknowingly, in my life.

God Bless and God Speed

Matt

[mvansand76]

Oh God. I can't begin to describe what it's like to read all your replies here. You are all feeling exactly what I'm feeling and that's just comforting.

I have the same feeling when I see the name "Heath" and the words "Death" and "Funeral" in one sentence. Just like Elle, I think "WHAT? HEATH WHAT?" because in my mind, it's still not true, it can't be true. It's like your mind is playing tricks on you, making you realise the harsh fact over and over again. And that hurts so much. It hurts so much to see his beautiful face everywhere, that face full of promise of so many great things to come.

I agree with Jack. Even though I strongly believe that Heath did NOT commit suicide, I do believe he was feeling unhappy. I have a strong feeling that he was too sensitive for this world, that things overwhelmed him sometimes and that with taking on difficult roles he was wearing himself down. I just hope that he had lots of people to talk to about it. 

There's a song by Jake Holmes that reminds me so much of this struggle:

Jake Holmes - Just as lost as me
Shadow eyes, in cloaks of answers
Withold their secrets eloquently
Here's a song for all the people
Just as lost as me
 
The easy way the knowing glances
Seeing light that i can't see
Here's a song for all outsiders
Just as lost as me
 
Private doors, straight and narrow minds
No matter how you look
To see you must be blind
Hide and seek
The king has got new clothes
Everybody understands, and everybody knows
 
Here's a song for walking wounded
Just as lost as me

*hugs* to you all......