For help dealing with sadness ...

[BelAir]

From http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa082601b.htm

I'm not a teenager, but that sure helped me!

[BelAir]

Like the suggestion said - and though I was not expecting it to work, it really did help me - making a bulletin board, a scrap book, something about the one I loved who was lost.  It helped me cope and softened the blow.  I do recommend it. 

In my journal, though I had been writing some of what I was feeling, I had avoided writing the specifics of the day I found out, today I wrote the specifics, and that helped.

[BelAir]

I've heard people say that they believe they don't have a right to feel so bad about Heath's death because they aren't family members or close personal friends.  So I'd like to point out that we all have a right to our feelings, even if no one understands them, or even if we ourselves don't understand them.  Don't beat yourself up for feeling bad about another human being's untimely and sudden death.  Avoid adding guilt or shame to your grief.

Some people think that to fall into despair is an indicative of a character flaw.  They think a strong and capable person should be able to cope, and so when they discover they can't cope they view themselves as worthless.  But if you find yourself in that situation you're not worthless.  You're human.  None of us has the world figured out.  So don't hold yourself to some superhuman standard.

Sometimes in our grief we forget there are things to be thankful for.  So it might help to remember when we're so hurt by a loved one's sudden departure, and insulted by the seemingly unjust way in which they were taken from us, that it was a miracle that they were here at all.  So even in our sadness let us be happy that we had a chance to be touched by Heath's humanity.   

Thanks, gary.

[Artiste]

Hug others helps??

Give yourself a hug: by laughing out loud... till you smile!!

Hugs to you and to all!! Heath hugged us in his wondrous ways, and hugs us still forever - we hug you too dear loved one!!

[RedAzaelia]

Cook or bake. Make something sweet and chocolatey, or a favorite food. Not only is cooking a pretty relaxing, almost zen exercise, nothing warms the soul quite like home-baked cookies, brownies, pasta, etc. So you'll feel better while cooking, and then you get to cheer yourself up with whatever it is you've just made. And even if you mess something up and wind up burning whatever you made, you've still had an adventure.

Writing is an excellent idea, too. I find old-fashioned pen-and-paper writing to be particularly cathartic. Once I get scribbling, it's hard to stop.

Go out with friends or family, and let them know you love them. Just don't be alone. It makes it worse.

[LauraGigs]

I've heard people say that they believe they don't have a right to feel so bad about Heath's death because they aren't family members or close personal friends.  So I'd like to point out that we all have a right to our feelings, even if no one understands them, or even if we ourselves don't understand them.  Don't beat yourself up for feeling bad about another human being's untimely and sudden death.  Avoid adding guilt or shame to your grief.
Some people think that to fall into despair is an indicative of a character flaw.  They think a strong and capable person should be able to cope, and so when they discover they can't cope they view themselves as worthless.  But if you find yourself in that situation you're not worthless.  You're human.  None of us has the world figured out.  So don't hold yourself to some superhuman standard.
Sometimes in our grief we forget there are things to be thankful for.  So it might help to remember when we're so hurt by a loved one's sudden departure, and insulted by the seemingly unjust way in which they were taken from us, that it was a miracle that they were here at all.  So even in our sadness let us be happy that we had a chance to be touched by Heath's humanity.   

Wow, what great observations, Gary.   

And even if you mess something up and wind up burning whatever you made, you've still had an adventure.

 

[belbbmfan]

I've heard people say that they believe they don't have a right to feel so bad about Heath's death because they aren't family members or close personal friends.  So I'd like to point out that we all have a right to our feelings, even if no one understands them, or even if we ourselves don't understand them.  Don't beat yourself up for feeling bad about another human being's untimely and sudden death.  Avoid adding guilt or shame to your grief.

Some people think that to fall into despair is an indicative of a character flaw.  They think a strong and capable person should be able to cope, and so when they discover they can't cope they view themselves as worthless.  But if you find yourself in that situation you're not worthless.  You're human.  None of us has the world figured out.  So don't hold yourself to some superhuman standard.

Sometimes in our grief we forget there are things to be thankful for.  So it might help to remember when we're so hurt by a loved one's sudden departure, and insulted by the seemingly unjust way in which they were taken from us, that it was a miracle that they were here at all.  So even in our sadness let us be happy that we had a chance to be touched by Heath's humanity.   

Thank you Gary.   

[Kelda]

I'm not a teenager, but that sure helped me!

me too!!

[Artiste]

I feel more and more that Heath had a zest for life! Is that the right word? Like happiness... is!!

To me, Heath wants us us all to be happy: then, now and forever!! He was happy doing Ennis, did fight doing that tour-de-force role (against all negatives) so we can all be more and more happy!!


Of course, we are all sad since of his passing; He knows that!! !!Why not remember him being happy in his life and in his role as Ennis?? !!

I will never forget his brilliant role and him as a grand, lovable, amiable person!!

Hugs!!  Thanks Heath for your loveable care and help for Humanity!!

[serious crayons]

Thanks for the great suggestions, everybody.

A couple of people have mentioned the value of writing. Many people do find writing to be therapeutic. For those who would like to share their words with others, I'd like to direct you to a new thread on this forum called "Express what you're feeling, at any length," created for you to do just that.

http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,16698.0.html