Alma and Cassie wait way, way , way too long, too long to break realtionships?? That is NOT natural !! WE do NOT see that in our society!
It happens all the time, and people keep trying to make relationships work that clearly aren't working for any number of reasons, sometimes for many years, until something happens that makes them realise that the situation is intolerable.
It is likely obvious that Ennis does not go OFTEN with Cassie, maybe so?? But Cassie persists and persists... she is the one making contacts !!
The same could be said of Jack. It's Jack who made the first move on the mountain, Jack who instigated the contact at the 4 year reunion, Jack who keeps trying to persuade Ennis of the "sweet life" they could have, Jack who's bitching about not meeting up more often, when Ennis has work commitments...
The one thing that comes through from reading this thread through is not that Cassie's homophobic (I see no evidence or proof of that), but that Ennis is totally emotionally crippled. He doesn't know how to communicate with anyone, and doesn't understand, or know how to articulate his feelings, and as a consequence treats almost everyone in his life appallingly, but I do feel he's more to be pitied than blamed. He has so many chances in his life, but he misses them all.
Probably Jack comes the closest to understanding Ennis and trying to bring him out of himself, but ultimately he pushes Jack away too. He never understands or knows how to communicate with Alma or Cassie, or even his daughters (from the scene at the end of the film he still thinks Alma Jnr's dating a boyfriend she split up with two years before, and he never really understands Jack either, and that's the tragedy, because Jack's probably the one person who has the power to help Ennis change for the better, but ultimately Ennis's stubbornness is too strong.
Can we blame Ennis for how he treats those who love him, all the way through his life? Yes, I guess on one level we can, and particularly if we presume that Ennis is aware of his behaviour. On another level though I don't think he is aware of his behaviour. I've lived with a man who finds it impossible to communicate with anyone - he doesn't know the words to say, and finds interacting in a social situation or conversation a huge trial, and will retreat into silence if pushed into being sociable. A man whose mind is so closed that he doesn't fully appreciate his own feelings, not knowing how to put them into words or actions, let alone be able to empathise with anyone else and understand about the effect his words and actions might have on them. I struggled for so long to try and 'read' him and understand is moods and his inappropriate reactions, and in the end gave up because I simply didn't have enough emotional energy for both of us. Sound like a brown eyed cowboy from Wyoming we know..?