Author Topic: Bad day at the office?  (Read 5417 times)

Offline BlissC

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Bad day at the office?
« on: June 12, 2008, 07:23:48 pm »
One of my moderators has just posted this on my forum, and I just had to share! Had a bad day at the office? If you think you're having a bad day, just think how bad it could be...

I've just finished doing some maintenance on my forum, checked in to see what's been going on out front while I've been behind the scenes, and found I've a forum full of members metaphorically rolling around the place giggling!  :laugh:

.............................................................................

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.


Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.
Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.

'Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, and then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my bum started to burn!
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldnt poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bum.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job'.

Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."

injest

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2008, 07:38:55 pm »
 :-X :-X :-X


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2008, 08:36:59 pm »
Ok, that person wins the prize!  :laugh:
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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2008, 09:20:12 pm »
Oh man! I feel so sorry for him!!

I've been stung by jellyfish before and they hurt like hell won't have it. I can't imagine what one up my ass would feel like. Geeeeez!!!! They say if you're ever stung by a jellyfish you should pee on it. Or have someone else pee on it for you. It takes the fire out of the sting.

 
That is a very funny story. Thanks for posting it!  :laugh:  :laugh:
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2008, 10:24:27 pm »
Amen, I know I will never have this bad a day at the office!!

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Offline optom3

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2008, 11:25:57 pm »
Oh my, I have just finished posting about my bad day.I wish I had read this first, my day was a picnic compare to that guys.I have also been stung  by a jellyfish on my foot. That was  bad enough,I can't begin to imagine how bad he must have felt.Painful in the extreme coupled witha certain loss of any dignity, bad combo.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2008, 08:46:12 pm »
I'd trade his bad day for my bad job life anytime.

It's serious physical pain, he can't poop for a few days, he has the humor and sympathy of his boss and co-workers, then he's back to work.

I'll take it, and he can have my spirit-crushing, mind-game playing, few benefits giving grudgingly, pass the buck, petty office-bickering and complete disrespect and unappreciated overwork, kiss up to the overbearing-expect-the-universe-served-on-a-silver-platter-yesterday clients, not-a-day-goes-by-where-you're-not- made-to-feel inadequate, existence. 

injest

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2008, 09:17:40 pm »
I'd trade his bad day for my bad job life anytime.

It's serious physical pain, he can't poop for a few days, he has the humor and sympathy of his boss and co-workers, then he's back to work.

I'll take it, and he can have my spirit-crushing, mind-game playing, few benefits giving grudgingly, pass the buck, petty office-bickering and complete disrespect and unappreciated overwork, kiss up to the overbearing-expect-the-universe-served-on-a-silver-platter-yesterday clients, not-a-day-goes-by-where-you're-not- made-to-feel inadequate, existence. 

*stands and applauds*

here here....the total despair that nothing will ever improve and you see no way out...

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2008, 12:01:30 pm »
*stands and applauds*

here here....the total despair that nothing will ever improve and you see no way out...


Heh.  In corporate America it never does.  You just trade one office for another.  That's why this guy's job - underwater oil rig repairing - would be a sigh of relief.  Complete change of career.  :laugh:


Offline BlissC

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2008, 06:11:51 pm »
I'll take it, and he can have my spirit-crushing, mind-game playing, few benefits giving grudgingly, pass the buck, petty office-bickering and complete disrespect and unappreciated overwork, kiss up to the overbearing-expect-the-universe-served-on-a-silver-platter-yesterday clients, not-a-day-goes-by-where-you're-not- made-to-feel inadequate, existence. 

I used to feel that way about work, but over the past couple of years something's changed. It's not work, because if anything that's got worse, and in the last couple of months on top of the general shit there's been so many new rules and regulations introduced, it's like . Working in a basement doesn't help, because we get no natural light and management work us on the 'mushroom' principle - keep us in the dark and feed us shit. I work in an office where petty office squabbles and power struggles are the norm, where the rest of my team want to go back to how it used to be when they were a separate team (I got merged into a big new super-team along with them and they've made it quite clear I'm the outsider), and they spend most of their time like kids in a playground looking for minor mistakes others in the team have made so they can go squealing to management, bitching about the surveyors in the next office to us all the time.

I've got a degree and post grad qualifications, and outside work I run a small charity - managing the officers committee, project managing, etc. etc, as well as running a large web forum, a medical support site, and managing a team of moderators and site staff, and at work most of the time they have me doing tedious data input and shit a trained monkey could do. Tomorrow I've got my EPD (employee performance development) review meeting with my manager, and I'm afraid she's gonna it it all, both barrels. 

What has changed though is me. It's partly my post-BBM outlook, and partly having gone back after nearly three years off sick, during which time I had brain surgery twice, spinal surgery twice, two DVTs and a pulmonary embolism. It's partly I realised that work's just really not that important in the scheme of things when it comes down to it. I go there for money to pay the bills, but they get out of me what they pay me for and no more. What's changed is that they don't get *me*. I go along everyday like a good little employee, play their games, and do as I'm told (mostly), but the "me" that's there those 8 hours a day isn't the real me. There's usually some soundtrack playing in my head, and I fill those 8 hours doing whatever needs doing with those songs playing in my head. They're never gonna get me though - not the real me. They're never gonna know the real me. They might get glimpses of me (last week as news of my new tattoo's spread through the department, someone down the corridor asked if they could see it, and said "You're a bit of a rebel, aren't you?") but they're never gonna know me and never understand me.

It's taken me a hell of a long time to get here, but I'm at the point now where once those 8 hours are done, they're done. I walk out of that place at 5pm or whatever and I forget about it, and don't think about it until the next morning when I walk back through the door. They don't pay me enough to worry about that place and get anything of me - they just pay me for my time, for being there, and don't appreciate me or respect me enough to get anything else out of me. Their loss. (and yep, over the past couple of years I've turned into a stroppy cow - at least where work's concerned  ;))


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2008, 06:33:26 pm »
I used to feel that way about work, but over the past couple of years something's changed. It's not work, because if anything that's got worse, and in the last couple of months on top of the general shit there's been so many new rules and regulations introduced, it's like . Working in a basement doesn't help, because we get no natural light and management work us on the 'mushroom' principle - keep us in the dark and feed us shit. I work in an office where petty office squabbles and power struggles are the norm, where the rest of my team want to go back to how it used to be when they were a separate team (I got merged into a big new super-team along with them and they've made it quite clear I'm the outsider), and they spend most of their time like kids in a playground looking for minor mistakes others in the team have made so they can go squealing to management, bitching about the surveyors in the next office to us all the time.

I've got a degree and post grad qualifications, and outside work I run a small charity - managing the officers committee, project managing, etc. etc, as well as running a large web forum, a medical support site, and managing a team of moderators and site staff, and at work most of the time they have me doing tedious data input and shit a trained monkey could do. Tomorrow I've got my EPD (employee performance development) review meeting with my manager, and I'm afraid she's gonna it it all, both barrels. 

What has changed though is me. It's partly my post-BBM outlook, and partly having gone back after nearly three years off sick, during which time I had brain surgery twice, spinal surgery twice, two DVTs and a pulmonary embolism. It's partly I realised that work's just really not that important in the scheme of things when it comes down to it. I go there for money to pay the bills, but they get out of me what they pay me for and no more. What's changed is that they don't get *me*. I go along everyday like a good little employee, play their games, and do as I'm told (mostly), but the "me" that's there those 8 hours a day isn't the real me. There's usually some soundtrack playing in my head, and I fill those 8 hours doing whatever needs doing with those songs playing in my head. They're never gonna get me though - not the real me. They're never gonna know the real me. They might get glimpses of me (last week as news of my new tattoo's spread through the department, someone down the corridor asked if they could see it, and said "You're a bit of a rebel, aren't you?") but they're never gonna know me and never understand me.

It's taken me a hell of a long time to get here, but I'm at the point now where once those 8 hours are done, they're done. I walk out of that place at 5pm or whatever and I forget about it, and don't think about it until the next morning when I walk back through the door. They don't pay me enough to worry about that place and get anything of me - they just pay me for my time, for being there, and don't appreciate me or respect me enough to get anything else out of me. Their loss. (and yep, over the past couple of years I've turned into a stroppy cow - at least where work's concerned  ;))

[APPLAUDS]  Brava, madam!! [APPLAUDS]

I'm there now.  I never bring work home in my head if I can't help it, I've long since not been very much of a 'team player'.  They're asking me now what "incentives' I need in order to give 110% (when I'm perfectly happy just giving my 100% and not busting my ass, which is what they want).  My answer is what they don't want to hear - "working 40 hours" aka no overtime.  But I can't tell them that.  The downsides are, of course, that you will never be considered for promotion, do not have the respect of the supervisors since you're not "dedicated", first one thought of when layoffs come around and I basically have no real friends there.  My co-workers are more like very friendly acquaintances rather than friends. And to me, it seems a really big waste of one's life - you will the spend the majority of your life at work - and it seems a shame to dislike it so much.

Offline BlissC

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Re: Bad day at the office?
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2008, 07:09:32 pm »
The downside is, of course, that you will never be considered for promotion, do not have the respect of the supervisors since you're not "dedicated" and I basically have no real friends there.  My co-workers are more like very friendly acquaintances rather than friends. And to me, it seems a really big waste of one's life - you will the spend the majority of your life at work - and it seems a shame to dislike it so much.

I suppose that's one way of looking at it. I guess in a way it is wasting your life, but I look at it as a necessary evil. I need money to pay the bills. They pay me for my time. The office where I am now I've been with them nearly two years now, and I've tried being friendly and chatting, I've tried explaining how my health problems affect me, I've even tried explaining why I turn up for work wearing a cowboy hat, and I've tried ignoring their childish little games. It's a clique though, and I don't fit in. I'm not prepared to just sit there and keep quiet. There's one who's taken charge of collecting the tea money and making sure time-sheets are in order at the end of the week etc. which is fine by me - one less thing for me to worry about. She's always been "queen bee" and I'm not about to upset the apple-cart, but if there's something work related I know more about, I'll speak up and say what I think. Last year I had a few ideas about how we could improve some of our systems and procedures to make less work for us, and save resources, so I took my ideas to my manager, who agreed with me and the new ideas got introduced. The others don't like it though because it's "not the way we've always done it". Not my problem.

We're not even very friendly acquiantances - conversations with them are very one-sided. I've only got one real friend left at work who I know I can trust - everyone else with any initiative and free thinking has bailed out over the past five years. I'm stuck there partly because of my sickness record because filling in application forms for other jobs, when it asks on the form how many days sickness absence you've had in the last three years, it doesn't look good when you cross out "days" and write in 'months'!  :laugh: It's convenient in many ways, and I know within reason they're supportive of my health problems (though it does help that I have friends "upstairs" - a legacy from when I was first there and full time and ran our section before we were restructured). Sometimes I think it's a case of "better the devil you know". 

In my favour though (at least for the sake of my sanity) I'm only part time. When I first went back to work on a phased return I'd intended to work my way back up to full time hours, but my body's just not up to it. I've actually just reduced my hours again slightly because my health's not good at the moment and I've been struggling with the 18.5 I was doing, so now I'm down to 16.5. When I'm not there I do web design part time. It's quite a long story how I got into it, but it was something totally unexpected, but something I've fallen in love with, and at least with the web design I get paid for something I love doing.

At the moment I'm doing mainly freebies still to build up my portfolio, though I've got a couple of paid projects at the moment. Long term ideally my aim would be to go full time with the web design, but how things are with my health I don't think that's going to be possible - at least with my other job I get sick pay when I can't work (though they're getting a little antsy at the moment about my sickness record) whereas self-employed I'd be on my own, and it's a risk I can't take at the moment.


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."