Author Topic: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?  (Read 7786 times)

Offline David In Indy

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Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« on: June 16, 2008, 01:04:29 am »
I went kaboom! Last week I would have told you I smelled it but didn't care.

Life in the fast lane...  :-\ :-\
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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2008, 02:35:13 am »
I think someone lost their minds!

 >:( >:(

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I been downwind of a horse farting....wasnt' a pleasant experience....

but not as bad as a cow!

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2008, 02:39:31 am »
I think someone lost their minds!

 >:( >:(

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I been downwind of a horse farting....wasnt' a pleasant experience....

but not as bad as a cow!

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Who said ANYTHING about a cow Jess? We're talking about elelphants here! >:(

:laugh:

 Cow and horse farts probably stink too Jess. Didn't mean to dis ya, girl friend!! :-*
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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2008, 02:43:49 am »
well I never saw a elephant that was farting...sorry! I was going with MY experiences with large herbivores!!


injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2008, 03:02:02 am »

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2008, 03:32:48 am »
well I never saw a elephant that was farting...sorry! I was going with MY experiences with large herbivores!!



Did you know the force of an elephant's fart can knock a full grown man down on his ass, all the way to the ground? It's true. The pressure exerted from an elephant's fart against a stationary object is nearly tornadic. Many people don't know it, but it's true. Google it and see for yourself. :)

Such is my life just now! :laugh:

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injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2008, 03:36:27 am »
Did you know the force of an elephant's fart can knock a full grown man down on his ass, all the way to the ground? It's true. The pressure exerted from an elephant's fart against a stationary object is nearly tornadic. Many people don't know it, but it's true. Google it and see for yourself. :)



I think you have too much time on your hands....we are gonna get you a hobby!

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2008, 03:39:27 am »
I've noticed nobody (but me) as voted in this poll.

You may vote descretely if you wish. And nobody will be the wiser for it! :laugh:

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2008, 03:39:40 am »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wd3fNXCqQc[/youtube]

jeez, we are terrible at 3 in the morning aren't we?

Just like a couple of high school kids!

(its your fault!)

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2008, 03:45:20 am »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wd3fNXCqQc[/youtube]

jeez, we are terrible at 3 in the morning aren't we?

Just like a couple of high school kids!

(its your fault!)

3 in the morning? :laugh:

It's 4 here in Indiana! >:(

I'll watch the video tomorrow. It looks like an elephant's ass in the preview. Can't wait to watch it. ;) :D

Nighty night ya'll!
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injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2008, 03:47:23 am »
http://lillyp.blogspot.com/2007/08/if-elephant-farts-in-forest-will-you.html

Quote
As we're lumbering along through the jungle I hear what sounds like a gigantor fart from the lead elephant. We all started laughing...you know mouths wide open ha-ha-ing and then it hit us. A good five seconds after this giant sound came from the elephant's ass a HUGE gust of wind aka an elephant fart hit us spraying dirt, ass particles and god knows what else into our faces/mouths/hair/clothes etc. Moral of the story: don't laugh at a farting elephant

injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2008, 03:53:20 am »
A review of the kids book "The Gas We Pass"

Quote
I picked up this book at the book store and read through it. I was really put off by it.
First of all, the word "fart" is generally an undesirable word, in my opinion, for children to be learning and running around saying aloud, at home or in public. Yes, the word is taboo in public, and while passing gas is natural, I feel I have an obligation to my children to teach them how to act in public. One does not say things like, "I farted," or "Did you fart?" or "the elephant farted!" I would much prefer that, if my child need to say such a thing, he use a term such as "have gas," "passed gas," or if some slang term is really necessary, "toot." A bit of social grace goes a long way in the real world.

This book does have a bit of scientific explanation, but not much of one. It basically teaches the child to laugh at flatulence, and say the word "fart" out loud and repeatedly as if is both funny and acceptable. It DOESN'T teach the child how to discuss the subject discretely (like how to nicely let mommy know the child has passed or needs to pass gas), or how to ignore the smell when others do so rather than saying to them "He farted," as I've seen some children do. It teaches them relatively nothing useful.

Secondly, the book looks like it was thrown together; the illustrations are drab and terribly drawn. I could draw as well as the artist who did these.

I not only would NOT buy this for my child, but I would be somewhat upset if I learned someone had read this to my child at school or a friend's house.

when have you ever had to tell someone you farted (oh I am sorry...passed gas?) I have never felt the need to inform anyone that I needed to myself.  ::) ::) ::)

and what is the momma supposed to do with the knowledge?? "Mommy, I must pass gas!"

what is your response supposed to be? I am at a loss here.

Offline Kerry

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2008, 10:49:00 am »

I voted for upwind and didn't smell a thing!  :D

I am an inveterate optimist. One of my friends actually refers to me as Pollyanna!  ::)   :)   :laugh:
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Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #13 on: June 16, 2008, 12:13:40 pm »
Lines Inscribed in a Pay Toilet

Here I sit, brokenhearted.
Paid a quarter to sh*t and only farted.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline optom3

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2008, 01:56:02 pm »
Lines Inscribed in a Pay Toilet

Here I sit, brokenhearted.
Paid a quarter to sh*t and only farted.

school girl rhyme

In days of old
when Knights were bold
and toilets wern't invented.
They dug a hole in the middle of the road,
and sat there quite contented.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2008, 03:23:43 pm »
school girl rhyme

In days of old
when Knights were bold
and toilets wern't invented.
They dug a hole in the middle of the road,
and sat there quite contented.

 ;D

Alternate last two lines:

You left your load beside the road,
and went away contented.

 ;D
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2008, 03:28:41 pm »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wd3fNXCqQc[/youtube]

jeez, we are terrible at 3 in the morning aren't we?

Just like a couple of high school kids!

(its your fault!)

From the sound I just heard, I don't think the elephant should have trusted that fart.
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Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2008, 03:35:10 pm »
Lines Inscribed in a Pay Toilet

Here I sit, brokenhearted.
Paid a quarter to sh*t and only farted.


On the recent Brokie Wyoming trip, I saw this on a stall wall.


*the below rhyme is not mine, and not how I feel about people from Texas!*






Here I sit
buns a flexin'
givin' birth
to another Texan.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline jstephens9

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2008, 03:37:35 pm »
You all are crazy!!! I should have known David was leading this  :) The dog I had when I was growing up used to do that. It was really bad when I was following her up the stairs and she did it  :o And then she would sit on the floor and scoot too like the advertisement on tv. And then the cat learned how to do it too from her. She was a good dog though  ;)

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2008, 04:03:01 pm »

On the recent Brokie Wyoming trip, I saw this on a stall wall.

*the below rhyme is not mine, and not how I feel about people from Texas!*

Here I sit
buns a flexin'
givin' birth
to another Texan.

 :o  ;D  :laugh:
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline ChrisC

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2008, 04:24:52 pm »
Today I was up wind.........good times
Tommorrow I could be down wind.........bad times
 ;D ;D

Offline optom3

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #21 on: June 16, 2008, 04:40:42 pm »
If all my puppy did was fart, I would be so happy, but she follows through every time.I woke up to 5 lakes and 4 mounds this am.She so has not got to grips with potty trianing.I have to be so careful whe I get up.

Offline jstephens9

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #22 on: June 16, 2008, 04:51:32 pm »
Now that does not sound like fun Optom

Offline ChrisC

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #23 on: June 16, 2008, 05:02:15 pm »
If all my puppy did was fart, I would be so happy, but she follows through every time.I woke up to 5 lakes and 4 mounds this am.She so has not got to grips with potty trianing.I have to be so careful whe I get up.


Bless, I remember those puppy days........careful where you tread.
I have a West Highland Terrier, he is 10 now and he is thoroughly spoilt....by my parents.  They are retired and can spend quality time with him.  He loves it.

Offline optom3

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #24 on: June 16, 2008, 05:18:24 pm »
Now that does not sound like fun Optom

Oh it's a real fabby way to start the day.However once it's all done I rewardmyself with a scrub down, coffee and the HHH thread which normally cheers me up.!!!!

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #25 on: June 16, 2008, 05:38:42 pm »
If all my puppy did was fart, I would be so happy, but she follows through every time.I woke up to 5 lakes and 4 mounds this am.She so has not got to grips with potty trianing.I have to be so careful whe I get up.

There's nothing like some squishy puppy poo between your toes first thing in the morning! Ugh!  :P  :P

 :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:

The only thing worse than that is when I skid across the room in it.  >:(  >:(

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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2008, 06:11:36 pm »
Fiona, when I was training my dog Cody, I ended up tossing the rug outside. He kept going on a small area rug and I just tossed it outside. In doing so, it helped put the smell out there. I read someplace that dogs are attracted to the smell. They really don't remember the area visually. They use their sense of smell, and when they smell it they say "Oh! That's me! So this must be my potty spot". When, on the rare occassion he went potty someplace else in the house, I would toss the paper towels I used to clean it up out in the back yard. Eventually he formed the habit to start going out there rather than inside the house.

The cat for some reason was much harder to train. I had a hell of a time teaching him to use his cat pan.
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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #27 on: June 16, 2008, 06:15:44 pm »
You all are crazy!!! I should have known David was leading this  :) The dog I had when I was growing up used to do that. It was really bad when I was following her up the stairs and she did it  :o And then she would sit on the floor and scoot too like the advertisement on tv. And then the cat learned how to do it too from her. She was a good dog though  ;)

Was there ever any doubt in your mind Jack?  ;)  ;)


I call that "dog sledding". Cody did that for awhile. Now I wipe him off with some toilet paper when he comes in and he doesn't seem to sled on the carpeting anymore. God, I really hated it when he did that! >:(


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Offline ChrisC

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #28 on: June 16, 2008, 06:21:55 pm »
There's nothing like some squishy puppy poo between your toes first thing in the morning! Ugh!  :P  :P

 :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:

The only thing worse than that is when I skid across the room in it.  >:(  >:(



I was trying to be polite by not mentioning the squishy poo between the toes, but glad you mentioned it. ;D

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2008, 06:33:55 pm »
Since we're talking animal gas, the little kitten we adopted is on the farty side.  lmao!

He's litter box trained, and every once and a while, we smell something, and think he forgot about the box, but never find anything....he's just farty.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Kerry

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #30 on: June 16, 2008, 06:56:49 pm »

I understand the Queen's corgis (dogs) are inclined to make their presence  known at the most inopportune of moments. A troop of them follows the Queen everywhere she goes. I read somewhere that it's not unusual for a certain, very distinctive odour to emanate from the resident corgis, even at the most sumptuous of Court occasions. Apparently, the correct protocol is to ignore it. I understand it is not the done thing to raise it with the Queen. She does not approve of having her corgis criticised. It's OK for them to fart in front of the Crown Heads of Europe, but you're supposed to pretend it didn't happen.

The Queens corgis are also vicious little mongrels. I was recently watching a television documentary about Australian entertainer and artist, Rolf Harris, painting a portrait of the Queen. When the Queen entered the room where he was waiting, the corgis were in tow. After the formalities, Rolf went to pat one of the little dogs. Before he could do so, the Queen said, "They bite!" He didn't proceed.
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Offline jstephens9

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #31 on: June 16, 2008, 07:46:08 pm »
Code doesn't fart and somehow he came kitty litter trained. I'm not sure how that happened. Anyway, he hates bad smells so he rakes and rakes and rakes in the litter until everything is completely and totally covered. He also does this when he finishes eating. He tries to find something to cover the remains up with. Also, he finds plastic spoons and forks which he puts with his food. I have no idea why, but he also puts his favorite toys in the food so that they can eat too.

injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #32 on: June 16, 2008, 08:37:14 pm »
Code doesn't fart and somehow he came kitty litter trained. I'm not sure how that happened. Anyway, he hates bad smells so he rakes and rakes and rakes in the litter until everything is completely and totally covered. He also does this when he finishes eating. He tries to find something to cover the remains up with. Also, he finds plastic spoons and forks which he puts with his food. I have no idea why, but he also puts his favorite toys in the food so that they can eat too.

my cat does that...he makes a whole career out of scratching around the litter box. I bet he spends at least 50% of his waking time scratching around and in the litter box (50% is about half an hour since he sleeps 23 hours a day)

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #33 on: June 16, 2008, 08:37:40 pm »
I was trying to be polite by not mentioning the squishy poo between the toes, but glad you mentioned it. ;D

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

You're welcome Chris! ;) :D

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injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #34 on: June 16, 2008, 08:39:20 pm »
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

You're welcome Chris! ;) :D



you so helpful David...I have an idea...you want to hear it?

 ;D ;D ;D

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #35 on: June 16, 2008, 09:04:12 pm »
you so helpful David...I have an idea...you want to hear it?

 ;D ;D ;D

I'm not sure Jess. I'm sometimes scared of your "ideas".  :-\

;) ;)
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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #36 on: June 16, 2008, 09:05:23 pm »
I'm not sure Jess. I'm sometimes scared of your "ideas".  :-\

;) ;)


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 :P :P ;D ;)

injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #37 on: June 17, 2008, 01:23:40 am »
I'm not sure Jess. I'm sometimes scared of your "ideas".  :-\

;) ;)

I can't believe you are dissing my ideas!! Have I EVER steered you wrong??

Offline dot-matrix

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2008, 03:01:18 pm »
What elephant?  :o

I don't see no elephant?   8)

Nope, no elephant here....   ::)

Just a slight whiff of eau de peanut on the air and a few big ol foot prints in the carpet  ;)

You're cute David :-*
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