Author Topic: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?  (Read 14185 times)

injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2008, 03:47:23 am »
http://lillyp.blogspot.com/2007/08/if-elephant-farts-in-forest-will-you.html

Quote
As we're lumbering along through the jungle I hear what sounds like a gigantor fart from the lead elephant. We all started laughing...you know mouths wide open ha-ha-ing and then it hit us. A good five seconds after this giant sound came from the elephant's ass a HUGE gust of wind aka an elephant fart hit us spraying dirt, ass particles and god knows what else into our faces/mouths/hair/clothes etc. Moral of the story: don't laugh at a farting elephant

injest

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2008, 03:53:20 am »
A review of the kids book "The Gas We Pass"

Quote
I picked up this book at the book store and read through it. I was really put off by it.
First of all, the word "fart" is generally an undesirable word, in my opinion, for children to be learning and running around saying aloud, at home or in public. Yes, the word is taboo in public, and while passing gas is natural, I feel I have an obligation to my children to teach them how to act in public. One does not say things like, "I farted," or "Did you fart?" or "the elephant farted!" I would much prefer that, if my child need to say such a thing, he use a term such as "have gas," "passed gas," or if some slang term is really necessary, "toot." A bit of social grace goes a long way in the real world.

This book does have a bit of scientific explanation, but not much of one. It basically teaches the child to laugh at flatulence, and say the word "fart" out loud and repeatedly as if is both funny and acceptable. It DOESN'T teach the child how to discuss the subject discretely (like how to nicely let mommy know the child has passed or needs to pass gas), or how to ignore the smell when others do so rather than saying to them "He farted," as I've seen some children do. It teaches them relatively nothing useful.

Secondly, the book looks like it was thrown together; the illustrations are drab and terribly drawn. I could draw as well as the artist who did these.

I not only would NOT buy this for my child, but I would be somewhat upset if I learned someone had read this to my child at school or a friend's house.

when have you ever had to tell someone you farted (oh I am sorry...passed gas?) I have never felt the need to inform anyone that I needed to myself.  ::) ::) ::)

and what is the momma supposed to do with the knowledge?? "Mommy, I must pass gas!"

what is your response supposed to be? I am at a loss here.

Offline Kerry

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2008, 10:49:00 am »

I voted for upwind and didn't smell a thing!  :D

I am an inveterate optimist. One of my friends actually refers to me as Pollyanna!  ::)   :)   :laugh:
γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #13 on: June 16, 2008, 12:13:40 pm »
Lines Inscribed in a Pay Toilet

Here I sit, brokenhearted.
Paid a quarter to sh*t and only farted.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline optom3

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2008, 01:56:02 pm »
Lines Inscribed in a Pay Toilet

Here I sit, brokenhearted.
Paid a quarter to sh*t and only farted.

school girl rhyme

In days of old
when Knights were bold
and toilets wern't invented.
They dug a hole in the middle of the road,
and sat there quite contented.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2008, 03:23:43 pm »
school girl rhyme

In days of old
when Knights were bold
and toilets wern't invented.
They dug a hole in the middle of the road,
and sat there quite contented.

 ;D

Alternate last two lines:

You left your load beside the road,
and went away contented.

 ;D
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2008, 03:28:41 pm »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wd3fNXCqQc[/youtube]

jeez, we are terrible at 3 in the morning aren't we?

Just like a couple of high school kids!

(its your fault!)

From the sound I just heard, I don't think the elephant should have trusted that fart.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2008, 03:35:10 pm »
Lines Inscribed in a Pay Toilet

Here I sit, brokenhearted.
Paid a quarter to sh*t and only farted.


On the recent Brokie Wyoming trip, I saw this on a stall wall.


*the below rhyme is not mine, and not how I feel about people from Texas!*






Here I sit
buns a flexin'
givin' birth
to another Texan.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline jstephens9

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2008, 03:37:35 pm »
You all are crazy!!! I should have known David was leading this  :) The dog I had when I was growing up used to do that. It was really bad when I was following her up the stairs and she did it  :o And then she would sit on the floor and scoot too like the advertisement on tv. And then the cat learned how to do it too from her. She was a good dog though  ;)

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Where were you standing when the elephant farted?
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2008, 04:03:01 pm »

On the recent Brokie Wyoming trip, I saw this on a stall wall.

*the below rhyme is not mine, and not how I feel about people from Texas!*

Here I sit
buns a flexin'
givin' birth
to another Texan.

 :o  ;D  :laugh:
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.