Yes, I talked with good old Chuck (who by the way is the coolest, for those of yall who haven't met him yet).
Anyhoo, he spoke with a friend of his who's a long-time housecleaning pro, and she echoed what you said,
Optom3, about the acetone-free polish remover! So I high-tailed it and got some, along with other miscellaneous equipment.
So, recipe for disaster mitigation (in case yall ever happen to have a nail polish explosion):
Countertops: Razor-blade stripper tool, and/or steel wool. Pretty easy.
Fridge: Razor blade to delicately strip top layer of polish, then the non-acetone remover.
Cabinetry/floors: Same thing.
Formica paneling: Non-acetone remover.
Walls: This is the stumper; will probably take repainting.
Oh well, can't win em all.
Thanks for all the concern and great suggestions, everybody!