Author Topic: Is it better to have loved and lost?  (Read 14749 times)

Offline Front-Ranger

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Is it better to have loved and lost?
« on: August 26, 2008, 03:15:14 pm »
Would you rather fall in love young, only to have love fade away, like Jack and Ennis did, or have an enduring love that is more like friendship? In other words, are you the passionate or practical type? Or are you love-adverse? Please vote and tell us more about this aspect of the human condition!

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Offline loneleeb3

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2008, 03:33:00 pm »
I put other because I want it all!
I don't think it has to be either or.
My Grandparents met in the 7th grade in 1932 and have been together ever since.
That is the love I want. They are friends, partners, lovers and confidants.
They have been through wars, children, grandchildren, great grand children, times of plenty, times of struggle and yet they endure with a love that has never grown old. I want that.
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Offline Berit

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2008, 04:53:02 pm »
I also had grandparents like yours, loneleeb3. They had a marriage with both passion - 12 kids - and friendship. They LIKED each other.I think that passion and friendship exists together. Without friendship it's just sex....but with passion and friendship it can last a lifetime.... ;D

Berit
Ennis.....always Ennis.....

injest

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2008, 07:03:39 pm »
I vote other...

a love that stays passionate and fun...with a man that never gets tired of chasing you when you run but would walk thru fire for you.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2008, 07:18:23 pm »
I vote other...

a love that stays passionate and fun...with a man that never gets tired of chasing you when you run but would walk thru fire for you.

Here, here!

Offline optom3

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2008, 12:16:48 pm »
I voted other, because I too want it all.
In fact what I really want, is to have been given the courage to follow my heart.If You are shown all encompassing love, which in my case was secret, and  has lasted nearly 15 years.Then it is too cruel not be given the fortitude, strength, call it what you will, to grab it with both hands,instead of running from it all the time.
Sadly, but logically, to love someone so desperately much, means that to lose them,no matter how good the intentions, hurts equally as much.Unfortunately by the time the penny finally drops, it can often be too late.
So as Ennis you long to turn back the hands of time.On the surface, life is fine,  passersby,  even sometimes very close friends, have no inkling of what lies just below the surface.You become adept at the art of disguise.At night though, when all others are asleep,you lie crying silent tears that soak the pillow, but provide no respite from the pain.
Proulx must have been badly hurt at some stage, to write that part of the s.s. For me reading it was painful beyond words.Even the sexual dreams which seem so real, only to wake and face reality.

Offline Kerry

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2008, 08:07:11 am »

I too voted "Other."

I met the love of my life and soulmate in my 20s. I had just left a monastery and he had just left the Royal Australian Navy. We were both needy souls, looking for love. I still remember distinctly the first instant I saw him. I can still remember him standing and walking towards me, to shake my hand. He was so handsome - still is! It was love at first sight for me.

We shared 15 blissfully happy, passionately expressive years together.

And then, one fine day, entirely out of the blue, he announced he was bisexual (I had no idea!) and that he was leaving me to marry a woman 15 years his senior.

It was tough for me to get through at the time (I required counseling), but now, many years later, we have settled into a comfortable, platonic relationship together, where we are each others best friend. We love each other and would do anything for each other. He's still married, but I'm fine with that these days. We were having dinner together the other night (his wife is presently away on vacation) and we agreed that we couldn't imagine what our lives would be like without each other.

So I guess I've loved and lost and loved again!
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Offline Kelda

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2008, 02:08:36 pm »
I too voted "Other."

I met the love of my life and soulmate in my 20s. I had just left a monastery and he had just left the Royal Australian Navy. We were both needy souls, looking for love. I still remember distinctly the first instant I saw him. I can still remember him standing and walking towards me, to shake my hand. He was so handsome - still is! It was love at first sight for me.

We shared 15 blissfully happy, passionately expressive years together.

And then, one fine day, entirely out of the blue, he announced he was bisexual (I had no idea!) and that he was leaving me to marry a woman 15 years his senior.

It was tough for me to get through at the time (I required counseling), but now, many years later, we have settled into a comfortable, platonic relationship together, where we are each others best friend. We love each other and would do anything for each other. He's still married, but I'm fine with that these days. We were having dinner together the other night (his wife is presently away on vacation) and we agreed that we couldn't imagine what our lives would be like without each other.

So I guess I've loved and lost and loved again!


Kerry - my goodness, what a story. You're a better man than I could ever be (well a woman, but you know what I mean!) I don't think I could do it. Good on you.
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Offline Kerry

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2008, 07:00:15 pm »
Kerry - my goodness, what a story. You're a better man than I could ever be (well a woman, but you know what I mean!) I don't think I could do it. Good on you.

My experience of "love" probably sounds somewhat strange and exotic to a lot of people. To me, however, it's just my life experience. It happened to me. I would never have believed it in my youth, but now that I'm so much older, I honestly believe that platonic love is, in fact, more intense and enduring than sexual passion. Platonic love is the kinda love a parent has for a child and a child has for a parent. And it's the kinda love I have for my George now.   :)
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Offline Kelda

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2008, 03:27:43 pm »
My experience of "love" probably sounds somewhat strange and exotic to a lot of people. To me, however, it's just my life experience. It happened to me. I would never have believed it in my youth, but now that I'm so much older, I honestly believe that platonic love is, in fact, more intense and enduring than sexual passion. Platonic love is the kinda love a parent has for a child and a child has for a parent. And it's the kinda love I have for my George now.   :)

Very true. I have to say I think I'm getting a little broody in my not so old age - I sat and watched a couple on the train this morning playing with their little boy who must have been under a year. SOOOOO cute and it was just so heart warming to watch.
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