Author Topic: Is it better to have loved and lost?  (Read 14744 times)

Offline David In Indy

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2008, 03:41:23 pm »
I too voted "Other."

I met the love of my life and soulmate in my 20s. I had just left a monastery and he had just left the Royal Australian Navy. We were both needy souls, looking for love. I still remember distinctly the first instant I saw him. I can still remember him standing and walking towards me, to shake my hand. He was so handsome - still is! It was love at first sight for me.

We shared 15 blissfully happy, passionately expressive years together.

And then, one fine day, entirely out of the blue, he announced he was bisexual (I had no idea!) and that he was leaving me to marry a woman 15 years his senior.

It was tough for me to get through at the time (I required counseling), but now, many years later, we have settled into a comfortable, platonic relationship together, where we are each others best friend. We love each other and would do anything for each other. He's still married, but I'm fine with that these days. We were having dinner together the other night (his wife is presently away on vacation) and we agreed that we couldn't imagine what our lives would be like without each other.

So I guess I've loved and lost and loved again!


It sounds like you found a soulmate Kerry. As did he. And that is the most beautiful love of all, in my opinion. :)

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Offline Kerry

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2008, 10:04:01 am »
It sounds like you found a soulmate Kerry. As did he. And that is the most beautiful love of all, in my opinion. :)

We are indeed soulmates, David. My life would be all the poorer without his loving presence in it. 
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #12 on: September 07, 2008, 06:12:37 pm »
Attention all of you who chose "Other." Here's what Annie Proulx has to say about it:

 
Quote
I like the phrase "emotional ignorance." I think that emotional ignorance defines most of us, especially Americans, who believe in romantic, lasting love and happiness. Both beliefs are conducive to an almost innocent expectation of a RIGHT to be loved and to be happy without earning it. Since those expectations are very often dashed in real life, emotional ignorance is often paid for with a laggard sense of betrayal, bitter tears and, eventually, a tablespoon of cynicism. How the cold light of eventuality falls on the characters and what they do with it certainly interests me.
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Offline Lynne

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2008, 08:59:33 pm »
I like the phrase "emotional ignorance." I think that emotional ignorance defines most of us, especially Americans, who believe in romantic, lasting love and happiness. Both beliefs are conducive to an almost innocent expectation of a RIGHT to be loved and to be happy without earning it. Since those expectations are very often dashed in real life, emotional ignorance is often paid for with a laggard sense of betrayal, bitter tears and, eventually, a tablespoon of cynicism. How the cold light of eventuality falls on the characters and what they do with it certainly interests me.

I'm an 'Other' too...Lee - that's an interesting quote by Annie - do you know where it's from?? Very cool.
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Offline RouxB

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2008, 10:47:26 pm »
I'm an "other". Oddly enough it took BbM fan fiction to move me to emotional ignorance. I have always had romantic yearnings but, in reality, never believed in forever love. Guess that kinda explains my attraction to unavailable men (and a couple of women  8) )-the best of both worlds, the illusion of romantic love and the reality of HA!

I am evolving (if it is indeed evolution) into emotional ignorance. Change is good-right?

 O0

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Offline Kerry

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2008, 12:55:14 am »

This was emailed to me by a friend the other day. I'd like to share it with you.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redressed his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. 'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2008, 01:33:43 am »
thank you Kerry.

 :'( :) :'(

Offline Kelda

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2008, 06:51:09 am »
 :'( beautiful.
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Offline optom3

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2008, 02:18:26 pm »
That just gives me a lovely all over warm feeling. I wonder how many are blessed to experience that depth of relationship.

Offline Kerry

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Re: Is it better to have loved and lost?
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2008, 07:43:54 pm »

The line, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is," brings me completely undone.  :'(
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