"Fixer" or "Stander"

[Ellemeno]

Lately I'm wondering if I'm being a stander by staying in a geographical location I *hate* in order to appease my husband, who, heaven help me, loves it here. 

I'm not advocating this method, but I had to divorce my first husband to get the hell out of Mississippi.  We started out together further north, moved down there to be near his family, and that was it, he never would budge out of there.  About three years after we divorced, he married a friend of mine from there.  When he called to tell me they were getting married (or for that matter, that they had been dating), the first thing I thought - and said, was that she was a lot like me, EXCEPT she liked living there.  They are still married, and I hope, happy.  I'm remarried (12 years) and happily living in Seattle.

[mvansand76]

I am a fixer, but when I cannot fix it anymore (like when I have tried everything I can to fix it, like with the pain in my arm due to RSI), I try to stand it and live with it...

[moremojo]

Much more of a stander than a fixer, myself. Trying to get more comfortable with trying to fix the things that can be fixed, but letting go and letting God in regard to the things that can't.

The Hindu philosopher Abhinavagupta believed that we are all the architects of our own lives in ways that would astonish us if our conscious minds became aware of Ultimate Reality. I take comfort in the idea that all the elements in my life are my own creation, spun out of ineffable joy and playfulness. When my eyes are opened by death, I hope to see the meaning behind my confounding handiwork.

[CellarDweller]

Some things just aren't fixable. Try to fix it, and if you can't, then you stand it--and pray for the wisdom to know when something isn't fixable.

and then pray for the courage to move on.


Used to be a stander here, and can still be sometimes, but recently, I've found myself becoming a "fixer".

[loneleeb3]

I've been a stander for so many years.
I can't stand it anymore so I'm in the process of fixing it.

[ifyoucantfixit]

      I have always been the fixer....but I have had to learn of my limitations.  Some things cant be fixed...
Once some things are.. they are.  And then is when you have to have the courage to deal...Its not easy, but its just how it is...so as the AA credo says pray for the wisdom to know the difference/
       ultimately i am both..so i didnt vote